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“I beg your pardon?”
Renato uncharacteristically stiffened his expression because of Khalid’s answer. He thought that Khalid of course wouldn’t do that anymore. But he said he couldn’t promise that? Why? When Renato opened his mouth to ask why, Khalid took the initiative.
“I’m saying this because I think it’s better to say that I can’t do it rather than lie. If I’m too absorbed in it or too excited, I might touch you again.”
“But I hate it. That place……”
“Since you say you hate it, please let me ask something. Did you really hate it when I touched your scar earlier? Did you feel hurt, about to vomit, or uncomfortable?”
“It’s not like that, but……”
Renato, lost in thought, trailed off the end of his words. If asked whether he felt good or bad, he had no choice but to say it was good. It was a feeling he had experienced for the first time in his life.
That indescribably bizarre, hot, and strange sensation definitely made Renato feel good. Truthfully, it felt so good that it was terrifying.
“If it’s not disgusting or offensive, why don’t you accept that feeling, Your Imperial Highness?”
Seeing Renato’s reaction, Khalid spoke up with courage. In fact, he already knew that Renato would say that it wasn’t offensive. Kissing and touching each other’s bodies was like sharing emotions and feelings. All of the sensations Renato felt a moment ago were created by him. Because of that, he couldn’t not know.
“Why do I have to do that?”
“Among post-traumatic stress disorder treatment methods, there is a method to overwrite the bad memories with the good ones.”
“Pardon?”
“It’s only my personal opinion, but considering your reactions a while ago, I think it will be helpful to alleviate the symptoms of trauma, Your Imperial Highness.”
Hearing that the symptoms could be alleviated, Renato was in agony. It wouldn’t be a bad thing if he could get rid of the pain of torn flesh and stabbed intestines, or the chills in his heart and the tingling sensation in his stomach that surged up whenever he just thought about it.
But he was troubled when thinking that he had to sob so shamefully or become a mess in Khalid’s embrace just like a while ago for that purpose. Seeing Renato hesitate, Khalid continued.
“What I just said is just my opinion, so you can ignore it. The real reason is that if I kiss you or do more than that, I will definitely touch you again, Your Imperial Highness.”
“Ah.”
“So I can’t promise that I won’t touch you anymore. Because I don’t usually make promises that I can’t keep. Instead, I will try to refrain from touching you as much as possible.”
“……Okay.”
Renato hesitated for a moment, then sighed when realizing he had no choice. When the man said so himself, it was impossible for him to stubbornly persist.
Above all, just like what Khalid said, he would have to do more skinship with him in the future, so he couldn’t refuse every time. It might be better to get used to that feeling for the sake of later. Renato struggled to think about it positively.
“Then should we go to the conference room now? Nasir and Viscount Roman must be eagerly waiting for us.”
When their talk finished, Khalid stood up. They had to finish the marriage contract issue as soon as possible in order to proceed with the engagement.
“Can’t we rest a little longer and then go?”
“Uhm?”
“My legs have no strength left……”
Renato put on an awkward expression. After kissing, all strength drained out of his body, and he couldn’t move anymore. He felt like he was getting a lot of new experiences today.
“But I can carry you.”
“No, I respectfully decline.”
Frightened by Khalid’s words, Renato crossed his arms in an X shape as if to say the man must not lift him up under any circumstances. Khalid smacked his lips regretfully and sat down next to Renato again.
“Then let’s just sit until your legs recover their strength again, well.”
“But Sir Nasir and Viscount Roman will be waiting for a long time……”
“It’s okay. They kept us waiting for hours, didn’t they? Because of that, they should at least be able to wait a few minutes.”
Khalid lightly stroked Renato’s hair, not caring about that at all. The sensation of the hair tickling and rustling among his fingers was quite addictive. He enjoyed the pleasant feeling in his hand until Renato got up, saying he was fine now.
* * *
Clink!
The fork fell from Trudy’s hand and rolled on the floor with a loud noise. His mouth that had been chewing the cake opened wide, and his eyes resembling summer grass leaves violently shook.
“Are you okay, Trudy?”
“Pardon? Yes. I’m okay, hyung-nim.”
Awakened by Renato’s voice, Trudy answered in a hurry. Louis brought over a new fork, but he wasn’t even in the mood to receive it. Trudy looked at Renato again, hoping he had misheard.
“But, hyung-nim, what did you just say? Engagement?”
“Yes. It just somehow happened. My engagement partner is Khalid Nur Hakan, the grand prince of the Khan Kingdom. You also know him, right? He was appointed as the new diplomatic ambassador this time.”
“I know him, but……”
Trudy recalled one by one what he had heard about Khalid. Gulp, Trudy gulped and opened his mouth with a worried face.
“Isn’t that grand prince a very scary person?”
“Scary person?”
“Yes, the attendants said so back then. Slaughterer? Devil?”
“Ah, that’s what his highness’ enemies call him. It’s just like how people demean me by calling me a sidekick Prince.”
“Ah……”
Hearing Renato’s kind explanation, Trudy was speechless. He couldn’t say ‘That person is a dangerous person!’ when his brother said that.
“This is not something that His Majesty the Empress forced you to do, right?”
“What? No. This is not because of His Majesty the Empress nor Marquis Medus. This is what I want to do.”
“Hyung-nim wants to……?”
“Yes, I proposed first.”
“Gasp.”
Hyung-nim proposed to the grand prince? Trudy’s face contorted because of the shocking information. Until just a little while ago, Trudy felt like he was flying in the sky. It was because, after half a month, he finally met Renato again and could have snacks together with him.
But the news of the engagement from Renato brought Trudy’s mood to the ground. As if it was not enough, he felt like his mood was sinking into the ground like a mole now. Trudy wished it was just a dream.
“W, why?”
“Why else? I like that person.”
Renato casually lied to Trudy when he was asked why. He intended to keep the fact that this marriage was by contract a secret. It was also for Trudy’s sake.
Besides, it was true that he thought Khalid was a good person and that he had good feelings toward him, so it wasn’t a complete lie.
“You l, l, like him?”
Trudy stuttered just like someone who accidentally heard what he shouldn’t have. Renato tilted his head when seeing the child in great shock. He also predicted that Trudy would be somewhat surprised by the sudden announcement, but the child’s reaction was much worse than expected.
“That’s why I proposed.”
“Does that person like you too, hyung-nim?”
“Uh, that……”
Renato momentarily hesitated with his answer. It was easy to say his feelings, but talking about others’ feelings was a different matter. And above all, Renato didn’t know exactly what Khalid thought of him. Considering the attitude and behaviors that Khalid had shown towards him, the man didn’t seem to hate him, but……
“Yes, of course.”
Renato forced a smile, hoping that his expression and voice would not be awkward. His conscience felt pricked when he lied to Trudy.
But he couldn’t help it. If Trudy found out the truth about his marriage, the child would be sad and blame himself for it. Renato didn’t want Trudy to do so.
“So you mean that you and that person love each other, hyung-nim?”
Trudy stamped his feet, not liking Renato’s answer. The marriage that the child knew was to build a family between people who liked each other.
Of course, Trudy was not unaware that there were cases of political ties among the imperial family and nobles. Right now, his father, the Emperor, and Renato’s mother, the Empress, were in that kind of relationship.
That was why he had wished for it. Because he knew how much the Emperor and the Empress hated each other and how much struggle Renato had because of them, he had hoped that if his hyung-nim got married to someone in the future, they would love each other.
So this was definitely a good thing, but somehow he felt uncomfortable. He felt as if he was missing something important.
Trudy involuntarily squinted his eyes, even though he knew that Renato couldn’t lie to him.
“……Yes? Uhm, if nothing else happens in the middle, I think we’ll be engaged at the end of next month.”
When Trudy’s expression became strange, Renato hurriedly changed the topic to divert the child’s attention.
“That fast?”
Because the date was much earlier than expected, Trudy was astonished again. Then suddenly, thinking of something, he hurriedly opened his mouth.
“Please wait, how old is that person?”
“His highness the grand prince? I think he will be twenty-five this year?”
“Twenty-fiveee?”
In response to Renato’s reply, Trudy clenched his fork. The child moved his other hand to calculate the age difference between Renato and Khalid, and then shouted in a furious voice.
“He is totally a thief!”