âI think it would be better to go and meet the 1st Prince to prevent useless talks just like what the Emperor saidâŠâŠ What is that expression?â
Khalid, who was explaining why he wanted to meet Renato, narrowed his eyes when he saw Nasir flare his nostrils and twitch his lips. Seeing the manâs expression which was a mix of a smile and a distorted face, his mood became bad.
âAhem, whatâs wrong with my expression?â
âYou have a face that seems to be thinking about something extremely disrespectful.â
âDisrespectful? Absolutely not. Iâm just thinking that spring has finally come to our royal highnessâŠâŠ Eek!â
Khalid slapped Nasirâs mouth with the back of his hand. For the mouths that let out strange words, violence was the medicine.
âSpring my ass, if you say one more strange thing, I will personally sew your mouth.â
âTsk.â
When Nasir pouted his lower lip in dissatisfaction because of the harsh warning, the Emperorâs chamberlain approached the two with a polite smile.
âYour highness, His Imperial Highness the 1st Prince is currently in the greenhouse of the inner palace. I will guide you there.â
âGreenhouse?â
âYes, I heard that he just had tea time with His Majesty the Empress a little while ago.â
âIs that so? Then I think I should just go back. I didnât really have an appointmentâŠâŠâ
âItâs okay. Their tea time is already over. I heard from his chief attendant that His Imperial Highness wanted to get some air, so he is waiting.â
The chamberlain hurriedly dissuaded Khalid when he said he would go back without meeting Renato.
âYes, the flowers are pretty and the fruits are round, so it is an interesting tree to look at while drinking tea. What do you think about taking this opportunity to take a look?â
ââŠâŠI see. Then I will go there.â
Not missing Khalidâs moment of wavering, the chamberlain skillfully led him to the inner palace. Pretending he couldnât win, Khalid headed to the greenhouse while being guided by the chamberlain. When he thought about it again, this was the first time he had gone to meet Renato first.
* * *
âWhat should I doâŠâŠâ
Renato murmured, looking down at his trembling hands with bewildered eyes. It had been quite some time since he ran away from Maximo, but his tremors did not subside.
âAre you all right, Your Imperial Highness?â
âA little while ago, lord Maximo passed by with a very intimidating face. Did you two fight?â
In the meantime, Louis and Luna, who were waiting for Renato at the entrance to the greenhouse, came looking for him. Not looking back at the two who were concerned about him, Renato told them to step aside because he had something to think about.
âNo, nothing happened. But there is something I want to quietly think about by myself, so could you step aside?â
âYour Imperial HighnessâŠâŠâ
âItâs not a big deal, so donât make that kind of voice. Iâll go out slowly when I finish sorting out my thoughts, so you guys should just go to the greenhouse and wait.â
He paid attention so that his voice wouldnât tremble, but it was impossible to completely hide it. Because they had known Renato for a long time, the two seemed to realize that he wasnât feeling well.
However, they did not disobey Renatoâs orders. They just looked at him with worried gazes behind his back. Renato knew this, but he didnât turn his head. To be exact, he couldnât.
If he showed his face to Louis and Luna, he wouldnât be able to calm down even more. Fortunately, the two quietly retreated instead of approaching Renato.
They must have guessed that Renato was seriously hurt at tea time out of their long experience. On the days when Renato was hurt by Marquis Medus or Blanche, he would often sit alone blankly like this, organizing his emotions and soothing his wounds inwardly.
âHuuâŠâŠâ
Closing his eyes, Renato slowly inhaled, then deeply exhaled. Up until now, doing this had always calmed his trembling.
But this time, no matter how many times he repeated it, there was no sign of him calming down. He thought at his rate, he would not be able to go back even after a few hours.
âCalm down, calm downâŠâŠ Please.â
Renato nervously gathered his trembling hands together and put his forehead on them. He realized that he overdid it while dealing with Maximo. However, he was also in a situation he could not help but overdo it.
Idiot, blockhead.
Renato cursed himself and gave strength to his gathered hands. If he couldnât even win against this much, how would he fight Marquis Medus in the future? Thinking so, he became as depressed as sinking into a deep lake.
âPost-traumatic stress disorder is a disorder that many soldiers suffer from. I have seen countless people with the same symptoms as yours over the years, Your Imperial Highness.â
After Khalid suggested that he should treat his trauma, Renato looked for related books in the Imperial Library. Surprisingly, the information was readily available. The number of materials was more than expected. He spent an entire day reading trauma-related books.
Renato admitted he had post-traumatic stress disorder after reading a few books. And he fell into despair.
Trauma was not an easy disease to overcome. The best way was to continue treatment for a long time by combining medication and counseling. In particular, quitting treatment in the middle because the symptoms had subsided was the worst thing to do. Even after being diagnosed as completely recovered, symptoms might still suddenly appear, so continuous supervision was needed.
The descriptions of trauma were similar in any book. They had a lot of negative nuances regarding trauma. The more Renato read, the more suffocated he felt.
Fortunately, Renato had only one trauma target, Maximo. If he also had those symptoms in front of Marquis Medus and Blanche, it would have been much more difficult than it was now.
âPerhaps that scar was the cause.â
Just like what Khalid said, the reason why he only showed symptoms in front of Maximo was probably that he was killed by Maximo.
Considering the period of bullying, Blancheâs and Marquis Medusâ were longer than Maximoâs, but considering the severity of the bullying, there was no one who could match Maximo.
Blanche would occasionally throw teacups or yell at Renato to vent his anger, but he seldom used direct violence.
Marquis Medus mainly used gaslighting techniques. He alternated between using carrots and sticks, taming and controlling Renato to prevent Renato from rebelling against the man.
But Maximo was completely different from the two. Originally arrogant and fierce, he became even more violent when becoming the Emperor.
âNow there is no one to get in my way anymore! Haha!â
Shortly after becoming the Emperor, Maximo invited Blanche and the Marquis to tea time and killed them with his own hands. They were very futile deaths for the powerful people who once ruled the Empire.
âIf you donât want to die like these humans, obey me. Then I will spare your life.â
As Renato was shocked by the devastation happening in front of his eyes, Maximo grabbed his chin and demanded obedience. Renato couldnât help but nod his head.
Was it because he knew the futile ends of Blanche and Marquis Medus? Renato no longer saw the two as absolute beings. On the contrary, his fear of Maximo became greater than ever.
âI have to finish it within 3 yearsâŠâŠâ
Renato bit his lower lip with an anxious expression. He had no intention of prolonging this fight. Now that Marquis Medusâ power was still insufficient, he had to finish everything before he could have more power than now. That way, there was a chance of winning.
He had no time to be swayed by just Maximo. And at this point, Maximo was much more comfortable to deal with than Marquis Medus.
As the Emperor, he would be a tyrant who would remain in the Empireâs history, but now he was just a Dukeâs son who emerged as a candidate for the next throne. The power he had was also insufficient compared to the Marquis.
So Renato was thinking of taking down Maximo first. When the man disappeared, Blanche and Marquis Medus must find a new candidate for the Crown Prince position. That way, he would be able to buy some time.
However, an unexpected variable called post-traumatic stress disorder stood in Renatoâs way. He had no idea how to deal with his trauma.
âHaa.â
But one thing was certain: he could not overcome this problem alone. Renato took a deep breath, clenching his still trembling hands. He felt so pathetic about himself.
For now, he couldnât get treatment from the palace doctors. No matter who treated him, it was only a matter of time before the Emperor or Marquis Medus heard about it. At first, he wanted to get help from Baikal, but the man didnât know much about traumas. Eventually, he had to find another person.