“It seems that the same event can affect people to change in a variety of ways.” Ke Bu rubbed his chin and talked to himself.
“Your parents, too?” Xia Jiazuo was shocked as he asked, but Ke Bu did not intend to delve deeper into this issue. He was not someone who would casually expose his own misery to others: “No, my parents have a good relationship.”
“I really envy you.”
For Ke Bu who lied just now, this praise felt somewhat ear-piercing.
”I’m very happy to chat with you.”
“You are?” This was the first time someone said something like this to him, but Ke Bu was not someone who would blush because of compliments. He had a very, very traditional mind. He only liked one person and that person alone was worth blushing for — so Ke Bu’s bashful face belonged to Zhi Li alone.
Xia Jiazuo soon noticed Su Youyan, who was not far behind Zhi Li. She had her hair pulled up and did not say anything. He took a piece of cake and went over to Su Youyan. He was somewhat worried as he looked at Su Youyan: “Have a bite.”
Su Youyan ignored him. She just continued reading her book. Xia Jiazuo awkwardly placed the cake in front of Su Youyan, then he looked at the scar on Su Youyan’s face: “Your face…” He actually touched this sensitive topic. Su Youyan looked up straight at Xia Jiazuo with a ‘quickly, beat it’ look, then lowered her head.
“You misunderstood me. If you don’t mind it, my dad opened a plastic surgery clinic. Your scar would most likely heal. Would you like me to recommend him to help you out?” It seemed that Xia Jiazuo was also a son from a wealthy family.
This remark made Su Xiaoyan lift her head up again: “Why are you doing this?”
Her question was very direct, and it even made Xia Jiazuo quite surprised with his mouth agape: “I just wanted to help you. Girls with such a scar on their faces would feel awkward about it. Even if my family has this condition, helping a friend out would also be appropriate.”
This time Su Youyan was silent again. She just stared at Xia Jiazuo for a while. She reached out and touched the faint scar on her face and bowed her head to end the conversation.
Ke Bu took the cake that Xia Jiazuo had just given him and sat in front of Zhi Li, then pushed the cake in front of Zhi Li: “Do you want to have a bite?”
Zhi Li’s arm slammed over and shoved the cake to the ground: “I don’t like sweets.” The pretty bright-colored cake fell to the ground and got ruined. Everyone was stunned and the atmosphere was awkward. Right now, Zhi Li looked like a difficult little kid. No one spoke and they just looked at Zhi Li. Ke Bu knitted his eyebrows. He did not like it. He did not like Zhi Li’s attitude and he was even somewhat afraid of this kind of attitude. He was afraid that…
Xia Jiazuo stretched his fingers out and scratched his face: “I think I have to go. I don’t think Zhi Li really likes me. If I’d stay here, it would be even worse. I‘ll come and see you later when Zhi Li‘s not around. Don’t worry about me. I’m not angry. No matter what, I’m also not that narrow-minded.”
Zhi Li stopped drawing and sent out a slight sneer. It was cold and bitter. He stood up, walked to Xia Jiazuo’s side, and looked askew to measure him up with his eyes. Xia Jiazuo closed his eyes: “I won’t fight with you. I won’t hurt anyone. Zhi Li, are you worried that I’ll take your friends away? If I make you feel this way, then I’m really sorry. I just wanted to join you guys, too. I really envy the camaraderie between you guys. I feel that all of you are having a good time at school. Am I being too self-righteous? If only they can be your friends, then I will… I won’t bother you guys again.”
There was no change in Zhi Li’s expression. No one could see whether he was angry or not. He just vehemently uttered: “I… really… hate you.” Zhi Li, just like his character in the past, spoke directly, then after that, he picked up his sketchbook, waved it to the others and left that place.
“Zhi Li!” Everyone shouted because they wanted to stop him, but he did not seem to hear them. Ke Bu tightly clenched his own hands, then chased after him. He tugged on to the corner of Zhi Li’s clothes to stop him while he was walking, not far from himself.
“What?”
“Can you stop being like this?”
Zhi Li turned around: “Like what? You don’t want me to treat that one with the surname Xia like that? I never thought you’d even care more about him.”
Zhi Li’s words were ironic and this irritated Ke Bu: “Why pull him into this, what really made you dislike him? Didn’t he just have a conversation with us, how did that bother you?”
“Say that again, Ke Bu?!”
“What’s that? Are you threatening me? I guess you’re just like what Xia Jiazuo said. You’re worried that your friends would be taken away from you. What do you want everyone to do? Don’t you see that everyone‘s very upset because of you?” Ke Bu‘s words were inadvertently hurting the other’s feelings — hurting his most beloved. This was wrong. He just wanted Zhi Li to not be so indifferent to himself. This matter had nothing to do with that Xia Jiazuo person — it had nothing to do with anyone.
Zhi Li’s eyes were fierce. He was angry and gritted his teeth, as he sent out words through them, so that Ke Bu could not stop trembling. He dodged Zhi Li’s eyes and retreated backward but Zhi Li was closing in, step by step: “So are you saying that I made it difficult for you, too? You bastard, tell me what’s really on your mind.” Zhi Li shouted at Ke Bu, but Ke Bu could not even speak. He just widened his eyes. Zhi Li reached out and Ke Bu subconsciously flung his head aside. Zhi Li was dumbfounded, then he lightly asked: “Are you afraid of me?”
Was ‘I’ afraid of Zhi Li? If he was not afraid of him, then what was it? Yes, he was afraid of him, but there was something else aside from fear. If he had to explain what it was, Ke Bu also did not know how to explain his feelings in words.
“Ke Bu,” Zhi Li’ voice called Ke Bu’s name coldly. He slowly started to talk: “Do you want to hurt me?”
It was just a simple question, but it made the pain unable to stop from continuously spreading in Ke Bu’s heart. That expression in Zhi Li’s eyes has caused Ke Bu to panic as he watched Zhi Li turn around to leave. He wanted to urge Zhi Li to stay. This was so urgent and necessary but he could not let go of his pride to hope for him to stay. In a cruel way, he wanted to provoke Zhi Li, he wanted Zhi Li to see himself, and he wanted to let him stay around: “If you wanted to go, then just go. Why do you think I came after you? Is it just to fight with you? If you wanted to, you could also be a little gentle. What are you angry about? I am the one who should be angry. With good intentions, I took the cake to give it to you, but you just shoved it to the ground. When I came out to chase after you, you just mocked me. I just said a few words but you already roared at me. By loving you, would that make me deserve to be treated badly? What do you think this is? At least, at least Xia Jiazuo will praise me as cute and gentle. He‘ll give me cakes with tenderness. He’ll listen to what my heart says. He makes me very happy. He is kind to me.” Even Ke Bu himself could not hear what he was saying. He hoped Zhi Li would rush to grab his own collar and punch himself. He wanted Zhi Li to tell himself that things were not what he said — that Zhi Li would deny what he just said.
Zhi Li stopped but did not look back. He just stopped and his voice rushed over just like sulfuric acid, which heavily damaged Ke Bu by its corrosiveness: “Since he‘s so good, do you want to try it with him?” This time, after saying this, he really left.
Zhi Li, you won. Once again, you won. I wanted to use cruel words to force you to come back, but as a result, I got burned instead. This was the result that Ke Bu could not bear. Pain — this should have been a feeling; but it turned into a real form — tearing and howling within his body — breaking him apart.
How did things turn out like this? How long has it been that he did not argue with Zhi Li? This was a kind of uncomfortable habit. Zhi Li‘s existence in his life was so natural. Ke Bu could not even imagine living his life without Zhi Li, even for just a second. If there was no Zhi Li in this world, Ke Bu would not be Ke Bu.
He was obviously at fault and he deserved his apology, but Ke Bu had nothing to wait for. There were no words spoken between the two since then. Apart from class, they did not even meet. Zhi Li naturally ignored Ke Bu. He ignored his existence. He disregarded that he was waiting for him. Without doubt, he also defied his pain. Even if it would be easy to let him hurt himself, he should take the responsibility.
Although there was a person less in the stronghold, there was also one person that was added at the same time. The atmosphere was changing. Even though everyone was all smiles on the outside, Ke Bu always felt that the atmosphere was depressing. Ke Bu sat on Zhi Li’s seat and looked out of the window in a daze. Did that guy just look at these paintings everyday? Xia Jiazuo sat next to Ke Bu: “What are you thinking?”
“Nothing.”
“You had a fight with Zhi Li, I presume?”
Ke Bu was silent and Xia Jiazuo continued talking: “Ke Bu, what do you think of me as compared to Zhi Li?”
Ke Bu shook his head and honestly answered: “I don’t know.”