(Funya-Funyan is Japanese onomatopoeia for flabby, limp, lacking energy. We might change it at some point, but probably wonât. -hika)
Yume was funya-funyaing. What did that even mean anyhow? Yume had no idea either. All she knew was that she was funya-funya and didnât know how to describe it any other way.
Because she was funya-funya, getting up and out of bed was way too much effort. So she remained sprawled on her reserve force lodge bunk. Once in a while she would flip over to one side or the other, but since she was funya-funya, even that required a tremendous amount of effort.
She also had to pee. Sheâd been holding it a long time now and she reckoned that itâd be best to get up and go do the necessary. Sooner or later sheâd have to get up, no mistake about it, but because she was funya-funya she didnât feel like it now.
âYume?â Shihoru called her name.
As much as Yume wanted to reply, she was funya-funya so it was too much effort to get her vocal chords to respond.
At last, Yume managed with, âHmm?â
âYouâre not hungry?â Shihoru asked.
âHmmâŚâ
Yume thought about it. She supposed she wasnât not hungry; if she were to eat something then she would have eaten it, so by all accounts she could eat. But she didnât really feel like eating. Whatever, she felt fine enough without eating so that mustâve meant she didnât have to eat.
ââŚHmm.â
âYume, itâs not good to starve yourselfâŚâ
âHmm.â
âYume?â
âHmm?â
âAre you listening to me?â
âHmmâŚâ
This wonât do, the funya-funya Yume thought to herself. She should reply properly. No matter how much she reckoned she shouldâve, though, she couldnât. She wasnât trying to give Shihoru a hard time, it was just total lack of energy and motivation to do anything. She wasnât just physically funya-funya, but mentally too.
âYou need to get a grip on yourself,â Shihoru suddenly exclaimed in a half-whisper.
Because she had said it so quickly and in such a hushed voice, Yume couldnât tell if Shihoru meant for her to hear it. She knew though, that Shihoru was annoyed. Maybe even mad. It was the first time Shihoru said anything to her in that tone. Yume couldnât recall Shihoru ever having spoken to her like that.
Yume flopped over to regard Shihoru, who was sitting on the bed next to hers. She was hanging her head, gaze towards the floor.
âSorryâŚâ Yume apologized. Shihoru quickly shook her head without looking up and said, âIâm sorry too.â
âYou donât have anythinâ to apologize for,â Yume said.
âBut IâŚâ
âYou didnât do anythinâ wrong.â
âNo, I didâŚâ Shihoru insisted.
âYou didnât.â
âI think I did.â
âOhâŚâ Yume finally capitulated.
âWhat⌠are we going to do from now on?â Shihoru whispered.
âHmmâŚâ
Yume tried thinking about it, but her brain refused to work. The wheels and cogs inside stayed at a dead stop. She tried thinking anyways, uncharacteristically desperate to find adequate words.
âUm, Shihoru?â Yume finally said.
âYes?â
âYumeâs really bad at these kinda things. Yume hates hurtinâ and feelinâ sad⌠everyone does, right?â
âYes, I supposeâŚâ
âBut you know, for example, if there was a big rainstormâŚâ
âOkayâŚâ
Yume continued, âAnd it was raininâ super hard, you wouldnât go outside for a walk, right? Youâd stay inside and hope. Youâd hope for it to stop raininâ.â
âI guess I would, yes.â
âBut who could really make it stop? Itâs like that⌠Thereâs nothinâ no one couldâve done about it.â
âNothing at allâŚ?â Shihoru asked, doubtful.
âErr, meaninâ I donât think itâs anyoneâs bad that things turned out like this. Itâs just the way things turned out. It all feels like some big olâ lie. Yume never thought somethinâ like this could happen.â
âI⌠me too.â
âWhy didnât Yume ever expect it?â Yume asked herself. âItâs not like these things donât happen. Yume was supposed to have known that it mightâve, at leastâŚâ
Because it wasnât the first time. No, it had happened once before but Yume had never dreamed that it would happen again. The death of a friend. That Mogzo would die.
âYume is such an idiot,â said Yume, flipping over to lie on her stomach. Her entire body felt heavy, funya-funya. âYume was too stupid. This happened because Yume is a big, stupid idiot.â
This time, Shihoru didnât reply.
Yume suddenly felt very sleepy, but she knew that she wouldnât be able to fall asleep. She flopped over onto her back. Her body was heavier and more funya-funya than ever before. She had no desire to move. And for the time being, she remained unmoving, unable to move.