What the hell!? What happened?! An accident!? Fire!? Hurricane!? Earthquake!? An⌠an elbow? Stupid retarded Ranta had elbowed him in the chest, smack on the breastbone, jolting him awake.
âWhat the hell, Ranta!?â Haruhiro raged. âQuit doing dumb shit and leave me the hell alone! Iâve had enough of your stupid antics!â
âNo need to get so pissed off!â Ranta said. âYou were sleeping like the dead and I had no idea when you were gonna get your ass outta bed, so I did you a favor and politely woke you up!â
âI couldnât fall asleep last night so I was up late!â Haruhiro roared. âWhatâs wrong with me sleeping in!?â
âSo even you admit youâre wrong!â
âHow the hell did I admit that!?â
âYouâre wrong to sleep like sleeping beauty when I went through all the trouble of getting the information early so I can tell you!â
âShut up, Mogzo!â Ranta yelled. âThis is between me and Haruhiro! You stay out of it! Neither of us can move on with our lives until this problem is solved, so this is whatâll determine whoâs the real man! You got that, Haruhiro!? Weâll finish it here and now!â
âFinish what!?â Haruhiro demanded.
âWhat do you mean, âwhatâ!? That, you idiot! THAT! In other words⌠what was that again?â
âLike I would know!â
Haruhiro let out a heavy sigh and sat up. Above his head was the same lodge ceiling as always, and because he slept on the top bunk, the bed creaked when he moved.
âSo,â Haruhiro turned reluctantly to look at Ranta. âWhatâs this information youâve got?â
âItâsâ!â Ranta grinned fiendishly.
The expression on Rantaâs face annoyed Haruhiro to no end. How the hell Ranta could piss someone off just by grinning, Haruhiro didnât know, but it pissed him off. It must be another one of Rantaâs âspecialâ talents; the talents of the lowest of low-lives.
âSince you decided to sleep in,â Ranta continued. âAnd Mogzo said something dumb about waiting until you were up, I got super hungry, so I went to the bakery by myself. B-A-K-E-R-Y. Got it? That cheap but good one right outside of Nishimachi, Tattan Bakery. There just happened to be a couple of Crimson Moon people hanging around and they were talking about it. So I asked what they were talking about, and⌠hold on! Everythingâs got a sequence, order, progression. Just like dating girls, yeah? Whoa, whoa, Haruhiro⌠itâs waaaaaaay too early for you. No reason to get pissed off about it. âCause youâre still a virgin, right? Not me! Iâm the Fucking King. Fuck is my middle name. Experienced in all the positions. Got it? The grandeur of my manhood gets all the female tigers to dance in wild ecstasy for meâŚâ
âAnd⌠how long are you going to make me listen to you spouting shit?â Haruhiro casually inquired.
âIâm not shit talking! Everything that comes out of this mouth is nothing but the truth! The facts!â Ranta exclaimed.
âFine. And the information?â
âFirst, you get down from there. I donât like it when youâre looking down at me, like youâre high and mighty. Itâs ridiculously stupid.â
The bunk beds werenât that high. The top bunk was just about the height of Rantaâs shoulder when he was standing. And Haruhiro wasnât even standing; he was sitting up on his bunk. He didnât feel particularly good about looking down on Ranta, and it wasnât from all that high up, but it wasnât a bad feeling either.
âIâm staying right here,â Haruhiro stated.
âYou got a death wish or something!? Want me to kill you!?â Ranta shouted.
âYouâre a pain in the ass.â
âWhat? Did you say something to me?â
âYeah, I did. I said that youâre like a parasite. No, Iâm sorry. Not âlikeâ. I said you ARE a parasite.â
âIdiot! Iâm not a parasite, Iâm a worker bee!â
âSo youâre okay with being an insect?â
âWait, what?â
Not wanting to continue the annoying and pointless exchange, Haruhiro climbed down from his bunk and sat down on the bottom bed.
âJust get to the point already and tell me what that information is,â Haruhiro demanded.
âQuit making fun of me! Iâm not some senile old retard!â
That made Mogzo chuckle, which in turn caused Ranta to grin from ear-to-ear.
âUnlike Haruhiro, Mogzo knows where Iâm coming from!â Ranta said. âMogzo can appreciate a good joke! Haruhiro sucks. He doesnât get anything âcause he doesnât have even a shred of a sense of humor!â
Haruhiro felt his thoughts becoming darker and darker but strived to keep his head clear and temper in check.
âThe information, Ranta,â he prompted again.
âHey, donât go blaming me for your shortcomings, HaruuuuuhiroooooâŚâ
âRanta. The information.â
âWhoa. Here we go again. Persistent, arenât we?â
âGoddamn it!â Haruhiro lunged at Ranta and began to choke the life out of him. âSpit it out! Iâve had enough of you so quit messing around!â
âCrimson Moon directive?â Haruhiro repeated, exchanging glances with Mogzo.
Mogzo, or rather his stomach, replied with a loud grumble, and his face turned red with embarrassment.
âS-sorry⌠Iâm kind of hungryâŚâ Mogzo explained.
âNo need to apologize, Mogzo,â Haruhiro said. âItâs not like you can help it. Ah, thereâs some bread over there. Why not have some of that?â
âThatâs MY bread!â Ranta shouted. âIâm the one who bought it at Tattanâs cheap but good bakery just outside of Nishimachi! I bought it, itâs MINE, and Iâm NOT sharing!!!â
Since Ranta was being such a selfish greedy-guts, Haruhiro and Mogzo decided to go into town together to grab breakfast somewhere else. Not wanting to be left out, Ranta tagged along with them, ostentatiously eating the bread he had bought while they walked and haughtily explaining the Crimson Moon directive to them.
Apparently, a directive was a set of orders given to the members of Crimson Moonâs Altana branch. At least, they were called a âset of ordersâ, but compliance was not enforced. It remained up to the individual members themselves whether or not to respond to the directive. However, those who were capable of carrying out the mission given but chose not to do so without a good reason tended to lose respect amongst their fellow Crimson Moon members.
That basically meant that if it was a reasonable directive, everyone was expected to just carry it out without complaining too much. And there was also another incentive for agreeing to participate in missions.
Monetary compensation.
A portion of the payment was given in advance when they signed up and the rest was paid upon successful completion of the mission. If someone were to accept the advance payment but not do the work, a monetary penalty would be applied. If it was judged that the person had acted with malicious intent, they would also be summoned to appear at Crimson Moonâs Headquarters. Failure to obey the summons would result in a bounty being placed on their heads.
Bounties were also considered directives and were placed on criminals or dishonest merchants. Some Crimson Moon members actually liked collecting this sort of prize money and made a living out of it. They were aptly called Bounty Hunters.
Compensation for taking on a directive wasnât paid in cash, but rather a thin bronze coin that served as a payment certificate of sorts. The coin could be exchanged for cash at Yorozuâs or any financial institution contracted with either the regular army or Crimson Moon.
Haruhiro and Mogzo decided to stop for breakfast at a food stand in Laborerâs Alley that specialized in a noodle dish called sorruz. The food stands in the area were packed with workers since early morning, and it was much livelier here at this time of day than the marketplace in the Altanaâs northern sector.
Sorruz was a dish with yellow-colored wheat noodles and broiled meat in a salty broth. Haruhiro didnât think it was all that good when he first tried it, but it reminded him of something faintly familiar, so he ended up coming here to eat every now and then. âEvery now and thenâ soon became habit and in the end, he developed a fondness for the dish.
Haruhiro and Mogzo blew on the hot broth as they ate, slurping the noodles vigorously. Even as he munched on his bread, Ranta couldnât stand just watching them eat and ended up ordering himself a bowl of noodles too.
âMan, this is awesome! Sooooooooo good! Sorruz is the best!â Ranta declared.
âQuit making a scene. And your runny nose is dripping snot into your bowl,â Haruhiro admonished.
âI canât help it! Itâs running like crazy! Haruhiro! You just donât get how good sorruz is!â
âSorruz is really good,â Mogzo agreed, working on his second order of noodles already. Or notâŚ
âMogzo, that couldnât be your third bowl already?â Haruhiro asked.
âW-well⌠yes,â Mogzo admitted. âItâs so good I canât help itâŚâ
âDamn Mogzo!â Ranta exclaimed. âYouâre a worthy rival, alright! But Iâm not gonna lose!â He turned to the middle-aged cook. âHey mister! Another order of sorruz!â
âComing right up!â the cook confirmed.
âHeh,â Haruhiro grunted, taking his time bringing the noodles to his mouth with the wooden fork. Yeah, it was good, but he couldnât stuff himself full this early in the morning. His stomach couldnât take it.
âBut you know, Mogzo,â Ranta continued. âGood as this is, couldnât we make it ourselves if we tried?â
PART 2 of 2
âErrâŚâ Mogzo hesitated. âUh⌠y-yes, I suppose we could⌠maybe? But the broth isâŚâ
âNah, we definitely could,â Ranta insisted. âThe soupâs just throwing stuff in a pot and boiling it âtill it looks done and tasty. Yep, no problem!â
âI⌠donât think itâs that simpleâŚâ
âReally? Doesnât seem all that complicated⌠whatâs in the soup anyways?â
âUmm⌠letâs see,â Mogzo mused. âProbably chicken stock with some pork lard and meat. Vegetables, like onions and carrotsâŚâ
âWhoa,â Ranta replied, impressed. âYouâre pretty pro at this, Mogzo. I couldnât even begin to guess.â
Haruhiro wanted to say that knowing the ingredients didnât mean they could replicate the taste, but decided to let it go. Yeah, he didnât need to say anything.
Mogzo lifted the bowl up to his mouth and took another sip of the broth. âYes, and garlic too. If they added a little ginger, it might make the flavor even bolderâŚâ
âWhoa, whoa, whoa! Mogzo, you can do it! Once we save up enough money, letâs open another sorruz stand!â Ranta proposed.
Mogzo laughed good-naturedly and replied, âBut Iâm a soldier for Crimson Moon.â
âDonât be dumb! That doesnât matter! If we can make enough money, it doesnât matter what sort of work we do! Who says we gotta keep doing this hack-and-slash stuff our entire lives? We can retire someday and start second careers! Get what that means? It means⌠uhh⌠a number two career!â
âYou canât define a phrase with the same phrase,â Haruhiro sighed.
âShut up, Haruhiro!â Ranta replied sharply. âI mean it! Iâm having a super important talk with Mogzo so shut up and go away!â He turned back to Mogzo. âSo, Mogzo, how about it? You and me! Weâll call it âSorruz Stand: Ranta & Mogzoâ. We can split the profits, seventy percent for me, thirty for youâbut okay fine, fine, fifty-fifty. Weâll start trying to figure out the recipe now so that everything will be ready to go afterwards! What do you say!?â
âA shop, huhâŚâ Mogzoâs expression was thoughtful as if he didnât think it was a bad idea at all. âThat might be nice. Seems more enjoyable than fighting, too. Iâll think about it.â
âRight! You do that! Way to think positive, Mogzo!â Ranta said. âLetâs get rich! Wildly rich! We can even start up a chain! Ten shops in Altana and then seventeen hundred stores throughout Grimgar! If itâs you and me, we can do it! Eventually!â
Ranta practically inhaled the rest of his soup then exhaled deeply in satisfaction. Then he continued, âAnyways, about this directive thing. You guys ready to hear it!? Ready to hear what I got to say!? Are you!? Really? You guys really ready!? Because once you hear it, I wonât take no for an answer, got it!?â
âRanta, youâre already beyond excessively loud and annoying so just say it,â Haruhiro said.
âHaaaaaaaruhiroooooooo⌠youâre one to talk âcause youâre a hundred times louder and more annoying than me! No, wait! A thousand times! Ten-thousand times! No, five billion times more annoying! Just admit it, dumbass!â
âOkay, sure.â
âSay okay sure a hundred times!â
âOkay sure a hundred times.â
âHey! Quit treating me like an idiot! I see what you did there! âCause I can outsmart you any day! Bow down to Lord Ranta!â
âAt least Mogzoâs getting a laugh out of thisâŚâ Haruhiro sighed.
âS-sorry⌠I just thought that just now was pretty funnyâŚâ Mogzo said.
âMoggggggzoooooo! âJust nowâ? What do you mean by âjust nowâ? Iâm always funny! Iâm always awesome! Iâm the Comedian King Rantaman! If you doubt my one outta one hundred comedic genius, future business partner or not, Iâll kick your ass!â
âI donât think one in one hundred is all that rare,â Haruhiro quipped.
âHey! Haruhiro!â Ranta shouted.
âWhat are you shouting for?â Haruhiro asked. âItâs kinda irritating.â
âI meant one outta a hundred thousand! Not a hundred! Got it!?â
âOkay, sure,â Haruhiro said. âNow talk about the directive. We havenât gotten anywhere on that topic yet.â
âAND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT!?â Ranta yelled. âYOURS!!!â
âWhy are you so pissed? Iâm the one who should be pissed off at you.â
ââCause itâs my turn to be pissed!â
âWhatever. Just tell us about the directive.â
âHahaha! Wait âtill you hear what I gotta say, you guys are gonna flip your shit!â Ranta suddenly stood up, twisted his arms around each other and fashioned his fingers on both hands in the shape of a⌠snake? Or something resembling one. âThis, guys! THIS!â
âI donât get it. Youâre gonna have to give me more than that.â
âItâs a twin-headed snake! Get it!?â Ranta made his right-hand snake head say hello to his left-hand snake head. âThe offensive to retake Capomorti Fortress and Steelbone Stronghold, codenamed âOperation Twin-Headed Snakeâ! The directive is apparently aimed at covering up something about the operation. Signups for the Steelbone front is already over, but that was meant for highly experienced warriors anyway. If we participate, weâll be part of the forces going to Capomorti. The compensation is twenty silvers in advance with eighty more after the completion of the mission. Thatâs one whole gold! And entire gold! One per person! Awesome, ainât it!?â
Mogzoâs eyes went wide even as his jaw dropped.
âA goldâŚâ Haruhiro breathed.
It was no small amount to him either. Haruhiro suddenly remembered the time right after they had lost Manato. Renji had given them a gold coin saying, âMy condolences. Take it.â And he also recalled his surprise at Renji causally tossing around such a huge amount.
âIf Capomorti Fortress,â Ranta sat down again and pointed to a spot on the table. âIs around here⌠or is here better? Maybe here insteadâŚâ
âDoes it really matter where?â Haruhiro asked.
âOkay, whatever. Itâs about four miles north of Altana and occupied by orcs. Four miles is like nothing, right? Super close. So of course Altanaâs attacked it a number of times and managed to drive the orcs out too. But no matter how many times we attack and win, weâre never able to keep hold of it for long. The orcs always take it back. You know why?â
âUhâŚâ Mogzo crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head a little. âNot enough⌠patience? Or something like that?â
âOf course⌠NOT! No way! The correct answer is⌠here.â Ranta pointed with the index finger of his other hand to a different spot near the edge of the table. âSteelbone Stronghold. Itâs about twenty-five miles west of Capomorti, by the side of the Great Funryuu River. If you follow the river upstream, youâll soon enter into what remains of the Nananka Kingdom. You guys know that what means? Probably not. The Nananka Kingdom. Itâs orc territory now. The entire kingdomâs been taken over by the orcs. They use ships on the river for transportation. Commodities, soldiers, you name it. Capomorti is a super small fortress, but when it gets attacked, the orcs send some sort of message upriver. Then Steelbone sends reinforcements back.â
Haruhiroâs brows furrowed in thought. âBut itâs twenty-five miles awayâŚâ
âThe orcs have a special type of unit called a âdragoonâ.â Ranta said, striking a strange pose. It looked like some kind of animal⌠an octopus, maybe? âBut theyâre not dragons or anything, just huge lizard-like beasts called dragon-horses and apparently they run ridiculously fast. At top speed, it only takes them about an hour to cover the distance between Steelbone and Capomorti.â
âI seeâŚâ Mogzo smacked his right fist into his left palm. âThatâs why weâre attacking both sites simultaneously this time.â
âRight on! I knew you had the brains to be my business partner!â Ranta snapped his finger, or attempted to but no sound came out. He tried several times but had to give up in the end. âStupid dry skin.â
Haruhiro sighed. âBlaming it on dry skin, huh?â
âWhat do you have against me saying my own skin is bad!? You my evil mother-in-law or something!?â
âUhh⌠what?â
âQuit pretending! You wanna fight me!?â
âIsnât attacking Steelbone and Capomorti at the same time pretty much the same as declaring open war on the orcs?â Haruhiro asked instead.
âOh, so youâre ignoring me now, eh. And didnât you know? We humans are already in a state of war against the orcs and undead. Have been since forever ago.â
âYeah, I got the idea, but itâs just been skirmishes here and there. Nothing really huge,â Haruhiro pointed out.
âWe attack each other whenever we get the chance if thatâs what you mean by skirmish. Orcs attacked Altana a while back, didnât they?â Ranta said.
âOh yeah⌠Ishh Dogrann? I think was his name. The guy Renji killed.â
âYeah. This operation is probably partially in retaliation for that attack. At least originally. But this time, itâs not just some casual poke to annoy them, Altanaâs army is serious about retaking and holding the fortress. They already failed to hold the fortress a number of times so I guess theyâve decided to stop repeating the same mistake.â
Ranta laughed haughtily as if he was some sort of master strategist, schooled in the military practices of Altanaâs regular army. The more Ranta explained though, the more it seemed like open war to Haruhiro.
âSounds like a pretty dangerous move. Itâs not just Crimson Moon thatâll be attacking the fortress, right?â Haruhiro asked.
âNah. Of course the regular army will be there too. Theyâre the main force; we reserve force members are just supporting them. Are you retarded or something Haruhiro? Use your head a little. Quit looking sleepy all the time and wake up, Haru-Heroine.â
âQuit making fun of my looks or Iâll backstab you. And what the hell is a Haru-Heroine?â
âYou just donât get my jokes, do you, Haru-Helium.â
âRanta, I swear Iâm gonnaâŚâ
âUmâŚâ Mogzo interrupted. âHow many? I mean⌠how many people are participating in the operation?â
âHow many?â Ranta stroked his chin. âLetâs see⌠about five or six hundred from the regular army plus a hundred to a hundred fifty from Crimson Moon for Capomorti. The fighting looks like itâs going to be tougher at Steelbone so I heard that Soumaâs Daybreakers, the Red Devils, Dakâs Berserkers, Taiman Maxâs Iron Knuckles, and Shinoharaâs Orion clans will all be over there. Crazy, ainât it? Itâs almost like theyâre saying small fry arenât needed there because weâd just get in the way and die.â
Why Ranta just had to add that last bit of information even though it was completely superfluous, Haruhiro could guess. Ranta was thinking that the tough fight was going to be at Steelbone, while Capomorti would be taken down with ease. He probably even thought that maybe Capomorti would surrender as soon as Altanaâs army and Crimson Moon marched up to the gates.
âAnyways!â Ranta had his arms twisted together again and was making his snake head hands snap at each other. âAn entire gold! Itâs decided then! Weâre gonna do it! Letâs go get ourselves signed up right now! Thereâs only three more days before the deadline so gotta strike while the ironâs hot or some phrase like that. Whatever! Letâs head over to headquarters!â
âH-hold onâŚâ Mogzo beat Haruhiro to it. âShouldnât we at least ask the others?â
âWhaaaaaaaat!? WHY!? Who cares about them? About that? The convoâs gonna be, âWe gonna do it?â âYeah, letâs do itâ âOkay goâ and everyoneâs gonna agree so no worries! Theyâre just girls, too!â
âNo, you canât just assume that,â Haruhiro said, rubbing the back of his neck. âLetâs get everyone together tonight and talk it over. Besides, weâve still got plenty of time before the deadline.â
Ranta frowned, exhaling noisily through his nose. âFiiine. Whatever.â
The next time he says inconsiderate things like that, Iâm going to reply by punching him in the face, Haruhiro decided.