CH 3

Chapter 3: From Idiot to Crazy

Han Shuo’s thoughts spun madly as the little witch, Lisa, beat him hysterically, adding to the aches and pains he already felt all over his body. Poor Han Shuo was already quite weak to begin with. That initial blow to his nose had caused tears to leak out, and the resulting fall from the tree made him dizzy with pain. He could only curl into a tight ball on the ground and present a vulnerable  target for Lisa’s attentions — his butt.

Han Shuo realized something marvelous after a while. That little bit of magical yuan began to circulate past his butt and relieved some of the pain. When Lisa pulverized  his butt, it didn’t hurt as much, thanks to the magical yuan.

In fact, any place that cried out in pain was greatly relieved after the magical yuan passed through it, and it actually felt a bit… comfortable.

Han Shuo was taken aback and inwardly thought, the solid realm in demonic magic is seriously masochistic! The magic yuan travelled to his right buttcheek as Lisa’s foot came smashing down and landed right where the magical yuan happened to be.

“Ah!” “Wah!”

A high pitched yell and a low grunt sounded from Han Shuo and Lisa respectively. Lisa suddenly felt that Han Shuo’s right buttcheek was harder than iron. Her foot cramped up immediately and she hopped around yelling.

On the other hand, Han Shuo felt that it had only not hurt when Lisa kicked him, but it felt exceedingly comfortable. This was in stark contrast to the pain that he was feeling all over and had led to his involuntary yell. Truth be old, his yell had sounded slightly obscene — as if…

“Bryan, did you put rocks in your pants, you idiot?”

Lisa complained loudly as she massaged her delicate foot. Several other necromancy major girls suddenly appeared around Han Shuo and Lisa, each staring at him with sleepy, cold eyes.

His nose had stopped hurting and his tears were finally under control. Han Shuo shook himself and sat up on the grass. When he looked around, he discovered the angry stares from apprentices Amy and Athena, as well as novice mage Bella and of course, Lisa.

The thrum of danger was in the air…

Amy, Athena, and Bella paled in comparison when they stood next to Lisa. They were all sixteen or seventeen years old, but were not very pretty. They were also in extremely bad moods as their beauty sleep had been interrupted.

“Idiot, what are you looking at! Why are there rocks in your pants! You gave my beautiful foot a huge bruise! Ooh ooh.. it hurts.”

Lisa put her hands on her hips and spoke arrogantly while staring coldly at Han Shuo. The effect was somewhat spoiled, as she had to hop around on her left foot.

“Idiot heh…” Han Shuo cackled inside and put on an innocent expression. He gave a dumb sounding “heh, heh” after he pulled himself up with some difficulty and said, “Nuh uh, I don’t have any rocks in my pants!”

He turned around so his butt was facing the four necromancy major girls and started undoing his pants as he spoke. Four panicked screams split the air before he’d pulled his pants down, and the frantic sound of running feet followed shortly thereafter.

“Bryan, you idiot! Pull your pants up immediately or I’m going to kill you!” Lisa yelled hurriedly, but one could hear a note of panic in her voice.

“Oh.” Han Shuo answered dumbly, but continued to chuckle sinisterly on the inside. A bunch of naive little daisies, see how I’m going to take care of you.

After he put his pants back on. Lisa took a close look at Han Shuo. As the four girls now stood in front of him again, she said fiercely, “I can forget the fact that you hid rocks in your pants, but what were you planning to do on the tree outside my window in the dead of night?”

“Heh heh,” came two dumb sounding laughs in response to her question. Han Shuo pointed at a ragged bag on one of the tree’s branches. “To get that down!”

“Why are you chasing after a trash bag in the middle – of – the – night?!” Lisa yelled angrily as she thought, about to pop from anger.

At the moment, novice mage Bella sighed lightly and said to Lisa, “Hey Lisa, can’t you see that Bryan has gone mad? Looks like instead of killing him, your ghoul drove him insane instead. What’s the point of getting mad at a crazy person?”

Athena seemed to be quite sleepy as she covered a yawn, “Oh… there’s still class tomorrow. I’m going back to bed, senior Lisa you can handle this!”

Amy appeared to pity Han Shuo as she minutely shook her head, sighing softly after staring at him briefly. She didn’t say much and turned to leave like Bella.

If Han Shuo hadn’t acted like the village idiot, he would’ve faced the wrath of these three girls, in addition to Lisa’s, but since he had “lost his mind”, the three girls naturally wouldn’t bother with a madman. Thus, they left him alone and returned to their warm beds.

When the three female students left, it was only Lisa and Han Shuo again. Lisa glared ferociously at Han Shuo and bit off her words, “Go back to your business, I’ll come find you in two days. I’m tired today; if you dare disturb my sleep again, I’ll drive you crazy with magic for a second time, not just beat you black and blue!”

Lisa delivered a final glare after she finished and left, walking a bit unnaturally. A soft exclamation of “Ouch, this hurts! I can’t believe that idiot put rocks in his pants, he was definitely driven crazy by my ghoul” floated out when she walked through the door.

Silence descended again as Lisa went in. Han Shuo felt a belated shiver of apprehension as he watched her walk in. Good thing this Lisa hadn’t used necromancy magic, otherwise with her rank as a novice mage, another ghoul would have actually driven him crazy.

The party was over and Han Shuo took his leave as well. He cursed under his breath as he tiredly dragged his frail, battered body back to the warehouse.

After he returned to his warehouse, he haphazardly swept all the trash off his bed and fell into a deep sleep.

The next day.

Han Shuo was sleeping soundly when the warehouse door was suddenly pushed open and a loud “Wah…” sounded.

Han Shuo opened his sleepy eyes and twisted his body to see a short fatty wearing an errand boy’s uniform . He had short blond hair, a dark green left eye, and was pointing at Han Shuo with an aghast expression, “You… You…” He couldn’t finish his sentences.

“Oh, it’s Jack. What are you doing in my room?”

Little fatty Jack was the same age as Bryan. Jack was one of the few people in the necromancy major that treated Bryan nicely, possibly due to a sense of shared misery. Little fatty Jack came from a destitute family and his dad had sent Jack to the Babylon Academy of Magical Force two years ago to earn a few silvers every month.

Although Jack was an errand boy like Bryan, he had not been sold to Babylon Academy. He was a free person, unlike Bryan, who had been sold to the school by slave dealers.

Although Jack was also an errand boy and victim of constant bullying, the necromancy students did not treat him like they treated Bryan, simply because Jack was not a slave. They might hit and yell at him, and even conduct some small experiments on him, but they would never torment him to death like they would a slave.

Bryan had actually always envied little fatty Jack because Jack could eat his fill at every meal and not be subject to inhumane bullying. As for little fatty Jack, it was only with Bryan that Jack was able to find that littlest bit of self confidence, so the two got along fabulously.

“Hoo… hoo… Scared me to death. Bryan, you’re not dead, that’s wonderful!”

“What bloody wonderful, I’m starving. Jack do you have anything to eat? Give it to me if you do, I’ll return it later!”

Han Shuo realized little fatty Jack did not respond after he’d stopped speaking, and was in fact staring at him dumbfoundedly. Two small, yellow, bean-like eyes stared out curiously from fleshy face. Han Shuo frowned and asked impatiently, “What, am I that good looking?”

Jack started and looked even more strangely at Han Shuo, “You’ve never asked me for food in all these years. You would only eat if I gave you food. You’ve also never talked to me like that. Bryan, you’re a little different!”

A bit startled, Han Shuo reflected that Lisa and co. had been unable to see what was different about him, but Jack, that silly fatty, had sussed it out with Han Shuo’s first sentence.

Han Shuo rummaged through Bryan’s memories after a while, and discovered that Bryan basically never spoke to the necromancy students. He did whatever people told him to do with no interaction whatsoever, but Bryan and Jack would occasionally talk to each other. Granted, most of the time it was Jack talking and Bryan listening. The two had spent a long time together, no wonder Jack had quickly discovered the differences.

Han Shuo glossed over the moment with a smile and said, “I was hit by Lisa’s ghoul and almost died. After that incident, I felt that the way I was living before was wrong and wanted to make a change.”

Jack breathed a sigh of relief at Han Shuo’s explanation and nodded, “I see. I thought the ghoul hit you and turned you into an idiot!”

Han Shuo, “…..”

“Here, this is some black bread that I’ve stashed away. Go ahead and eat it. It’s such a good thing that you didn’t die. When everyone thought you were dead, they gave me your tasks because we haven’t found a new errand boy yet. Because of that I’ve had to come here super early this morning. I was in a rush and accidentally bumped into Bach. He beat me up, I even have a bruise on my left eye!”

Little fatty Jack relayed happily as he passed a piece of gray bread to Han Shuo. It would seem that he was delighted to not have to do Bryan’s work.

Han Shuo violently bit off a piece of bread as he looked at the green bruise circling Jack’s left eye. He spoke furiously, “Bach hit you again. He’s too full of himself. Come, let’s go get revenge!”

Jack hurriedly jumped up in fright and restrained Han Shuo using his body weight. He exclaimed, “Bryan, are you crazy? Aren’t we used to this by now? Bach is an apprentice in necromancy! It’s not the first time we’ve been beat up, it’s good enough when he leaves us alone. What revenge can we get?”

Han Shuo laughed coldly, “Don’t worry, I’ve got my ways. Yes, I am crazy, by now all of the necromancy students know I’m crazy. Yeah I’m damn crazy, who am I afraid of!”

Han Shuo bellowed as he proudly dragged Jack out of the warehouse. The magical yuan within his body seemed to churn faster!