Chapter 1
Editor: Queen Oceananas
November, Beijing.
“What did you promised me?! A few years back, you promised to buy a house? To buy a car? I even left my aging mother behind to follow you to this ghostly place. All your classmates are accomplished and successful in life, and look at you! What?! Are you even a man!”
Xiao Yi endured the scolding while they were walking, his hands in his pockets and a cigarette in his mouth. After a while, his girlfriend behind him stopped. But Xiao Yi didn’t even notice, walking on, and on, and on.
“I’m sorry.” Xiao Yi discarded his cigarette and reluctantly said, “Honey, I need to survive, it has been very hard to make a living, give me a little more time ……”
Xiao Yi turned his body around to look at her behind him, but there was no one. She was gone.
A burst of autumn wind passed by when the phone buzzed. “Girlfriend” had texted him.
‘Xiao Yi, let’s break up.’
Then his phone rang and Xiao Yi slowly answered the phone. It was a call from home.
“Xiao Yi.” His aging mother said on the other end, “how come you haven’t been picking up your phone? When are you coming home to visit us?”
“I……” Xiao Yi said tiredly, “What happened? Has something happened?”
“Your father just watched the news broadcast about wedding costs, is 80,000 yuan enough?”
“I have no need for your money right now Mom. Ah, I’m entering the subway so I’ll call you tomorrow, go to bed early and don’t let dad borrow money.”
12:00 Midnight
Xiao Yi was dead drunk when he returned to his rented room, kicked the door open and fell onto the sofa, gasping for air.
“Wasted, waste of space……good for nothing ……” XiaoYi cried exhaustedly “Might as well just die.”
With that, Xiao Yi walked unsteadily to the balcony, facing the night view from 18 stories, and looked down. He slowly climbed up onto the railing, then quickly climbed back down. He repeated these actions for awhile, then kneeled down and cried.
“Mother -“ He sobbed.
“Crying boy!” The neighbor living next to the balcony pulled up their window and shouted at him, interrupting his cries “Do you know what time is it! If you are going to continue crying, I will call the police!”
This evil society only worships money, not even allowing people cry on their own balcony. Xiao Yi slowly crawled back into his room, the cold wind blowing on his back. He struggled to crawl into the kitchen, then twist the gas button on his stove. His telephone has been ringing nonstop, and he had finally glanced at it.
Xiao Yi looked at the gas stove and planned his next move. Boil the noodles and eat first, then think about committing suicide latter.
Xiao Yi ate the instant noodles and gave his girlfriend a call, but her phone was turned off. After finishing the instant noodles, he lies down and closes both of his exhausted eyes.
The house rent is 2,000 yuan, water and electric bill is 400 yuan, accompanying his girlfriend to dinner at the mall is 1,000 yuan, credit card debt is 2,000 yuan, traffic ticket is 400…Minus monthly income of 5,000 yuan with tax. Every month he lives by his credit card, but the card always has such a low amount of money on it… One square bedroom is 80,000 yuan, but Tongzhou cost 250,300 yuan….Without eating or drinking it will take 300 years to buy a house and get married.
(Tongzhou: Located in the East of Beijing and north of grand canal. The entire city cover 6% of Beijing, the city is focus on modern manufacture and high-tech industry, downtown Tongzhou is central business district. Overall, buying a house in this place, cost triple because it a place for tourism and have many businesses.)
Xiao Yi always thinks about the idea of buying a house, but a house in a city costs 12,000 yuan. Even with getting a stable job, the monthly income would only be 3,000 yuan. His only choice is to starve to death on the side of the road.
Xiao Yi weakly turned off the lights when the screen on his phone flashed.
The next morning seven missed calls appear on his phone. When Xiao Yi dials back exhaustively, the person on the other side who obviously suffers from a hangover and hasn’t fully woken up yet blurts out “Who’s this!”
“Xiao Yi.” he replied, “What do you think you are doing, calling me a bunch of times in the middle of the night.”
The person on the phone was Xiao Yi’s college roommate, Duma. In the past, he slept on the bunk bed with him. Back in those years, he borrowed money from Xiao Yi because he tried to get close to a lot of girls. In the past, their group ridiculed him vigorously, but after graduation, in just three years, Duma hit success in Beijing and now possess more than ten million yuan. He humbly drove a Lexus to the students reunion and bumped into Xiao Yi, they were both stunned when they saw each other.
Xiao Yi was one of the ones that used to ridicule Duma, and over the years he continuously mocked him again and again. But even so, now that Duma shone brightly, Xiao Yi was very happy for him.
“Last night ……” Duma said, “My aunt and several celebrities went drinking, I was trying to invite you. What you were doing instead?”
Xiao Yi remembered how he came back last night to eat instant noodles and contemplate suicide and replied: “Nothing.”
Duma laughed: “Wifey have you kneeling while washing clothes? “
“No.” Xiao Yi said with a smile, “How could she dare?”
Duma heard the sound of beverage and got up wearing a bluetooth. He smiled and said “I gave my aunt a recommendation for you, she said you need to take a trip to Dawanglu.
Xiao Yi:”? ?? ?? “
Xiao Yi struggled to get out of bed, his head hitting the door in the process.
Xiao Yi: “Go to Dawanglu to do what? “
Duma said baffled: “You don’t want to get the job? Did drinking mess up your brain or something?”
Xiao Yi:”!!!”
(Dawanglu: The name of the subway station locate Central business district.)
Now that he thought about it—– Duma seemed to mention something like that last night when they were drinking. He moved the toothbrush toward his mouth, and vaguely said “Ok then, let’s go eat barbecue afterwards.”
Duma said: “I’ll send you the address, when you arrive just call my aunt. She will take care of the rest”
With that Duma hung up the phone, leaving Xiao Yi quite grateful that last night Duma called him several times while accompanying his aunt drinking and wanted to invite Xiao Yi so he could remember this important conversation.
8:00
Xiao Yi got lost in the crowd, his legs dangling in the subway, and when he arrived he was surrounded by even more people. Reaching the address Duma sent to him, he walked in without much thought. But when he entered the elevator, his whole body broke out into a cold sweat.
This place is where every Beijing brokerage company is located, one might even run into a celebrity here.
Xiao Yi arrived at the correct floor, but he first had to head to the bathroom for a final check up since he left the house in a hurry and didn’t have time to adjust anything. He stood in front of the mirror, fixed the lower part of his hair and slightly brushed it, exposing his ear to add style. Compared to before, he has lost a lot of weight and has two obvious dark pouches under his eyes.
‘I’m already so old’ Xiao Yi thought.
In the past, when he still attended school, he was number one in his department. Not only could he play guitar, he could also compose music. He never thought that when he entered society he would turn into this. Xiao Yi’s expression showed a plethora of regret, and he headed inside to urinate.
After a while, rapid footsteps could be heard inside the bathroom. A tall man wearing sunglass walked in hurriedly, untied his kulian, took a deep breath and urinated with full aspiration.
(T/N: Kulian is trouser chain)
Xiao Yi glanced sideway, eyes only moving a little bit, and the other man’s head moved towards him slightly, allowing the two to look at each other.
Xiao Yi: “!!!!”
Xiao Yi immediately turned to him and said: “You you you…you are..”
“What are you doing!” The man growled, causing Xiao Yi to instantly face back to his urinal, avoiding peeing on the other man’s sport shoes. He embarrassingly apologized repeatedly while the man was tying his kulian. Flustered, he closed his eyes, wishing he could drill a hole into the ground.
A minute later, the man washed his hands in front of the mirror with a bitter expression. He is about 1m80 (5’9) with a neat short hair, a resolute handsome face, and wearing casual attire.
Xiao Yi didn’t think that he and the male god would unexpectedly go to the same bathroom!! He stares dumbfounded, then instantly reacts, walking down the shivering road: “Male…Male god!”
(walking down the shivering road: Keep trembling)
The male god swung his hand, and Xiao Yi took out a pen and paper from his bag while saying: “Can I have your autograph..for my girlfriend? She really likes you.” The man took a deep breath, and pretended not to hear him, washing his hands and drying them rapidly, anxious to get out of here as fast as possible.
“Lu..Lu….” Xiao Yi said. “You’re Lu Zhou, aren’t you? My girlfriend is your fangirl, can you please sign your name for me?”
Xiao Yi held out a pen and paper, heart racing, but Lu Zhou completely ignored him and turned away.
Xiao Yi follows on his heels, walking painstakingly behind him and said: “Male god, my girlfriend just scolded me, and wants to break up…”
“Security!” Lu Zhou shouted and strode out of the bathroom. Some people appear in the corridor making Xiao Yi subconsciously draw back and decide to quit his fruitless chase. When security arrived, Lu Zhou, like a blasting explosion, loudly exclaimed: “How did this person even get in! How can just anyone be allowed to enter! Take him out!” While security was coming over to throw Xiao Yi out, Lu Zhou saw the opportunity and decided to run. With both sides in turmoil, an office door opened and a female voice calmly asked: “Xiao Yi, is it?”
“Yes,” Xiao Yi sighed as he found a savior, and the female voice inside the room said: “Come in.”
Xiao Yi, able to escape the siege, went into the office and sat down, taking in a long breath.
“You should have given me a call downstairs.” The woman wearing a suit skirt, although over forty, but very well maintained said sweetly. She introduced herself with a smile, “I’m Duma’s aunt, you can call me auntie Du like earlier on the phone.”
Xiao Yi quickly smiled back, knowing her name is Du Mei. In seeing her personally pour water for him, he immediately said: “I can do it.”
“Introduce yourself,” a man sitting on the side spoke up.
“Hello, my name is Xiao Yi.” Xiao Yi took the water and sat down, speaking in a very serious tone, “I’m a music editor and production specialist, I studied for 4 years, am currently 25 years old and still have one year of school left.”
Xiao Yi handed his information to her and said: “Currently single, parents don’t live in Beijing, and my dream is to become a musician. Duma even introduced me to work on video editing on Sina’s website before.”
Du Mei thumbed through Xiao Yi’s profile, then handed it to her assistants, and the two read it over once.
Xiao Yi said: “I won several domestic original music awards, I personally like Chinese traditional style…Also ancient style, since I previously listened to these types of music a number of times on the internet.”
“Who is your favorite artist?” Asked Du Mei.
“Ah there is, um” Xiao Yi laughed, “Tom Cruise, Li Changzheng, Lu Zhou…Uncle Ming Shu. I like the dauntless man style very much. I’m also Lu Zhou’s fan, my girlfriend was introduced to him by me and also came to like him too, but…..Yeah”
Xiao Yi remembered the male god he had just met in the bathroom, he definitely left a bad impression on him.
“Can you cook?” The male assistant sitting on the side asked.
“Huh?” Xiao Yi said
“Just answer the question.” Du Mei said with a smile, “Don’t be so nervous.”
Xiao Yi nodded and said: “I could cook a little of Hubei cuisine.”
“Szechuan and Cantonese dishes?” Du Mei also asked.
Xiao Yi said: “Yes…a little, but I cook by using the rice cooker.”
Xiao Yi really wants to ask what cooking has to do with this and starts to, but stops when feeling an indistinct, and extremely unlucky, premonition.
Du Mei continues to ask: “Besides music, what other hobbies do you have?”
“Jogging.” Xiao Yi said, “going on the internet, listening to music, reading…going to the cinema.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” The male assistant asked.
Xiao Yi nods, but then retracted it by saying: “Just…Broke up,”
Du Mei said: “Who’s the reason?”
(E/D kinda means whose fault is it, like who was the one who received the “let’s break up”, just wanted to clear it up because I don’t really know how to pull it off better)
“Mine.” Xiao Yi replied.
Xiao Yi felt a little awkward, but in thinking about it, the other party consists of elders, so it doesn’t really matter.
Du Mei: “Can you drive?”
Xiao Yi: “Yes.”
“You’re a very capable young man.” The male assistant said, “There are dark circles under your eyes, you probably shouldn’t have stayed up late.”
“There isn’t a law on working and resting,” Xiao Yi said, “but I will pay more attention, thank you.”
Du Mei Said: “He is very patient, and his temperament is also good…” Du Mei looked at her assistant that hasn’t spoken yet and continues flipping through Xiao Yi’s profile.
“Truthfully,” Du Mei said, “We only want to recruit an active assistant to look after a celebrity in the entertainment company.”
Xiao Yi: “…”
“Which artist?” Xiao Yi asked
Du Mei smiled and said: “We certainly can’t tell you, you first need to sign a confidentiality agreement. You also need to have patience and agree to hold this post for the long-term. The entire package will come with food and lodging, the monthly salary is 8,000 yuan, after tax of course.”
Xiao Yi: “!!!”
“The work might be arduous.” The male assistant said, “ since the artist will be entering drama shootings, advertisement, even including their daily life. You have to accompany the artist in everything, even living in the same house, you also occasionally needing to drive him because the driver will sometimes be unbearably busy. Most of the night, you need to follow him out to shop for items he needs. You have to school yourself in what to say and what not to say, and try to talk less. But go above and beyond and no matter what the artist does, it is not allowed to be announced or published on the internet, nor consult their family. Long story short, you can’t disclose the information to anyone that has the same occupation as you, you have to be really cautious.”
Even Xiao Yi understands that in this work, you have to keep close contact with the artist. It is a job that countless people want, but can’t have. This job isn’t casually given to a candidate, the person needs to be recommended by a friend and sign the confidentiality agreement. Only then can that person be considered  right for the job.
Celebrities mostly appointed family or friends as their personal assistant, and the company only hires a person with two possibilities: First, the other side is not well-known and second, the artist is difficult to serve….Looking at it this way, this job is quite unreasonable.
However, food and lodging is provided, one doesn’t even need to spend a penny, the money could be saved up, minus his aging parents at home to take care of, in one year you can buy one square bedroom. And if prices don’t rise, working hard for about 100 years, there will be enough money to buy a house in Beijing. You can also, occasionally, follow the artist and enter the upper circles of the society.
Xiao Yi left the room to think and smoke a cigarette in the corridor. As a last attempt he called his girlfriend, but got rejected again.
“I’m ready.” Xiao Yi returned to the office and said, “Sister Du, I’m willing to try.”
“Uhm” Du Mei said, “ Xiao Ma said that you are capable, always enthusiastic and never get angry. We’ll let you try for sometime and see.”
(T/N: Du Mei is calling her nephew Duma, Xiao Ma, which mean little Ma)
Xiao Yi smiled bitterly and nodded his head. Du Mei then prepared the contract and Xiao Yi asked: “Which artist is it?”
“Oh,” The male assistant place the contract on the table and said. “Lu Zhou, he is in the next office.”
Xiao Yi: “….”