āThe prisoner was transferred from another prison. He colluded in organizing a prison break, and he covered for other people. The chief prisoner who escaped from prison, who was locked up with him, used to be a martial arts instructor. ā¦Director Yang called, and we set up an arraignment room. You can ask him alone about the specific situationā¦ā
āā¦That boy Fang Yu was locked up in the same cell as me. And he was unlucky. There were so many people in the cell, but those in prison had to throw the slop bucket on him. I donāt know who the boy offended. I can answer for what I have done, and thatās what I said to those in prison. That boy didnāt know anything. If he really did, I would want to pull out a scapegoat on my deathbed. Something like framing others, I canāt do it!ā
āThe trial was so long and they didnāt have any evidence. I also noticed that someone wanted to punish him, so that he couldnāt get out. That boy Fang Yu was a fool. I told him long ago not to treat me well in prison. Now that something happened, he was the first one to get in troubleā¦ā
āThey said that he did not obey the guards and managed to find a reason to increase his sentence. Outsiders donāt know, but I know best that this was all an excuse. I understand too well about the filthy things inside the prison. Later, I was locked up alone. I heard that the boy was released after one year. I was even happy for him. I didnāt expect that when I was transferred here, he was also locked up here.ā
āI asked him why he went out and came in again. He didnāt say anything. When I asked ruthlessly, he said that he committed another crime. Bullshit! There are records in the prison, and he was implicated for that prison break incident! They let him out nominally, then transferred him and put him in prison again. That boy seemed to know long ago, and he was resigned to carrying the blame! ā¦ā
ā¦
The cold wind blew past, piercing to the bone.
Yang Lei was sitting.
In his mind, he shouted into the phone: āWhy were you so foolish? You went to jail for your reputation? Were you stupid?! ā¦ā
Yang Lei finally reacted.
He mechanically took out his cell phone, with a number in his hands.
āIāve dealt with him. Fucking ask him!ā Hua Mao wrote down a number and slammed it down at Yang Leiā¦
āā¦Lei Geā¦ā On the phone, Ding Wenās voice trembled.
Ever since Hua Mao had found him, Ding Wen knew that Yang Lei would find him sooner or later. He didnāt want to hide. He had been waiting for this day.
āEver since Hua Mao found me, I knew you would come sooner or laterā¦ I let you down, and I let Fang Yu downā¦ I donāt have the courage to see you two. Iā¦ I really didnāt mean itā¦ Iāve been tormented enough by my conscience!ā
Ding Wen cried bitterlyā¦
It was said before that good people can also cause trouble when they have no other choices. Good intentions do not necessarily lead to good deeds.
When Yang Lei left, he exhorted Ding Wen and entrusted Ding Wen to help him keep an eye on the news of reduced sentencing. Other people were not clear about his and Fang Yuās relationship, but Ding Wen knew. Because Ding Wen knew about his feelings for Fang Yu, Yang Lei believed that Ding Wen could understand these feelings the best. Yang Lei didnāt hide it from him. He told Ding Wen about the bargain between him and Yang Dahai from start to finish. He meant to make Ding Wen understand that if anything changed with Fang Yu on this end, he would definitely not continue his education. So Ding Wen helped Fang Yu and also helped him.
Yang Lei couldnāt trust Yang Dahai completely. In this matter, he didnāt allow himself to be negligent.
Yang Lei also asked other brothers, but only Ding Wen knew that the key to all of this was Yang Dahai. Ding Wenās feelings towards Fang Yu were inevitably complicated, but Yang Lei trusted him so much. He was grateful and moved, and he really wanted to help. In the third year of Fang Yuās imprisonment, Ding Wen went to the prison to ask for information from time to time. The ruling of Fang Yuās sentence reduction still didnāt come, and Ding Wen was anxious. He was worried that Yang Leiās father had changed his mind, but he also didnāt want to hastily notify Yang Lei for fear of affecting his studies. In his anxiety, Ding Wen made a mistake, a mistake that was easy for these people with knowledge and education to make: naivety.
To someone like Ding Wen, who dealt with technical theories all day long, the way to deal with problems was also a simple loop, idealized and theorized. With the identity of Yang Leiās friend, he boldly found a rare opportunity to go to Yang Leiās house and visit Yang Dahai. He simply believed that Yang Dahai was busy with official business and shelved this matter, so he needed someone to remind him. He was also eager to do a meritorious deed and win Yang Leiās favor, so he didnāt hesitate to visit.
Yang Dahai had already handled the matter of Fang Yuās sentence reduction. Yang Dahai knew Yang Leiās temper. Furthermore, he had no need to go back on his word. Objectively speaking, Yang Dahai undoubtedly had no good opinion of Fang Yu, but he was not unreasonable. Yang Dahai remembered that this young man had saved Yang Lei. For him, this matter was just one thing.
But Ding Wen daring to visit made Yang Dahai extremely angry. The ātransactionā between him and his son could not be publicized. He was a major leading cadre. This matter could be done, but it could not be spoken of in public, much less such a total stranger. Yang Dahai sternly criticized Fang Yuās criminal behavior and Yang Leiās previous misconduct when interacting with these gangsters. Ding Wen didnāt understand the bureaucratic ways behind all of this at all. He thought that Yang Dahai was going to go back on his word. Ding Wen was worried. When his anxiously entreating received no response, in his desperation, he blurted out a sentence. It was this unintentional sentence that made Yang Dahai freezeā¦
In Yang Dahaiās mind, the image of that morning came up. He pushed open Yang Leiās door at home, and he saw the two boys hugging each other intimately and lying on the bedā¦
āā¦I really didnāt mean toā¦ I didnāt say anything when he asked me later! But later, your father intercepted the letter that you wrote to Fang Yuā¦ā Ding Wenās voice became muffledā¦
ā..Later, the ruling of Fang Yuās sentence reduction was announced, and I thought it was fineā¦ But later, I went to the prison again to inquire, and they said Fang Yuās sentence was increased againā¦ I was afraid. I knew that I had caused a lot of troubleā¦ I didnāt dare tell you. I had no face to see you, Lei Geā¦ But my conscience canāt bear it if I hold it back like this. I only told Hua Maoā¦ā
After Hua Mao knew, he was both shocked and angry. He went into the prison. Fang Yu told him that he was disobedient to the guards and one year was added, nothing else. But from Fang Yuās reaction, Hua Mao knew that Yang Dahai had already visited him. Could Fang Yu not know what kind of person Fang Yu was and how he would act?? Fang Yu warned Hua Mao that he couldnāt tell Yang Lei that Yang Leiās father knew. Otherwise, he would end their friendship. Hua Mao knew that Fang Yu would do what he said. Other than fiercely teaching Ding Wen a lesson, he was helpless. After one year, Fang Yu truly came out and insisted on leaving Jianghai. After Fang Yu left, Hua Mao was also disheartened and led people back to Jiangbei. Later, he committed a crime and ran away, and he had contact with Jianghai. Then, he was arrested in another place, and he was locked up in the prison of Li County. He was shocked to see Fang Yu again in prison. Only after hearing the martial arts instructor talk about the cause and effects, did Hua Mao understand what happened. Fang Yu didnāt utter a word, but Hua Mao was not stupid. After understanding, Hua Mao wanted to immediately go out and kill Yang Dahai, but Fang Yu warned him harshly.
āDa Ge, why are you so stupid?! ā¦ā Hua Mao hugged Fang Yu, crying loudlyā¦
After Hua Mao was released from prison, there was a time when he couldnāt bear the injustice and looked for Yang Lei. At that time, Yang Lei was still at the Zhou Qiao brigade, at the front line fighting the flood and rescuing in the south. Hua Mao didnāt see him. After coming out, Hua Maoās disposition became even more violent. Not long afterwards, he was caught and sent to reeducation through labor for fighting. When Yang Lei saw him at the municipal bureau, he had just been released.
āā¦I donāt know what your father saw in the letter, butā¦ā
Ding Wen stopped talking.
Yang Lei didnāt write anything in the letter to Fang Yu. Ding Wen didnāt know, but Yang Lei knew. Sending letters into prison was inconvenient, and Yang Lei knew it.
Yang Lei recalled his junior year. When he came back from training that day, he unexpectedly saw Yang Dahai waiting for him in his dorm. Yang Lei didnāt know why Yang Dahai suddenly came without any notice. Yang Dahai said he was just in the city on last minute business. He came to see him along the way, brought him some things, and still had business to do. Yang Dahai didnāt stay long, and he left the same day. After he left, Yang Lei checked his drawer a little nervously. He only relaxed after not finding any signs of rummaging. When he missed Fang Yu badly, he would randomly write Fang Yuās name like a fool. He would write the words that he couldnāt suppress in his heart, filling an entire book. He couldnāt bear to throw away that book. He sandwiched it in a book and stuffed it at the bottom of the drawerā¦ At the very bottom was a photo of Fang Yuā¦
āLei Ge, you can scold me however you want. I was wrong. I was really wrongā¦ I wanted to tell you long ago, but I didnāt dareā¦! I was ashamedā¦ Iā¦ Iām a bastardā¦! ā¦ā
Ding Wen was crying as he said something, but Yang Lei was no longer listening.
He dropped his hand. The muffled voice coming from the cell phone in his hand dispersed in the windā¦
At midnight, someone knocked on the door of a rented bungalow on the outskirts of Jianghai. The man who opened the door looked with puzzlement at the pale-faced stranger in front of him.
āIs Fang Yu here?ā
The man reacted. Fang Yu had not moved out yet. He was still living with this friend who drove a taxi. Recently, his former brothers would often come to see him, and this friend was used to it.
āYouāre looking for Fang Yu? He went to stock up.ā
āIāll wait for him.ā
The friend led Yang Lei to the bungalow that Fang Yu lived in nearby and opened the door.
āIt looks like he wonāt be back tonight, but tomorrow. Is it urgent? Why donāt I give him a call.ā
The friend took out his phone and was about to dial. Yang Lei pressed down on his hand.
āNo need. Iāll wait for him here.ā
āOkay, or you can rest at his place for a night. He will be back around tomorrow morning.ā
The friend spoke frankly.
The dim yellow light illuminated the narrow cottage. The furnishings were simple. Other than a bed, table, and cabinet, there was practically nothing else. A shirt was hanging in the corner. It was washed by hand, white and clean. It was pressed flat and neat, hanging on a temporary rope.
It was Yang Leiās white shirt.
Yang Lei looked at the shirt.
He looked towards the table. There was an old-fashioned tape recorder on the table. Yang Lei opened the cassette box and took out the tape inside.
āYu-zi listens to this tape every day, and he always listens to one song on it, on repeat. My ears have almost grown callouses from listening to it. I got him new ones, but he insists on listening to this one. I donāt know whatās so good about it. I just say that heās old-fashioned. Who still listens to that now?ā
The friend looked at Yang Lei looking at that tape and smiled.
āHe said that back then, the prison encouraged reform and allowed them to bring song tapes. He asked his brothers to bring the disc. He was used to listening to it in prison. When he came out, he couldnāt change.ā
The friend left. Yang Lei sat down by the bed and put the tape back into the recorder. He slowly pressed the key.
The tape turned slowly. Grasshopperās voice had long been forgotten. The outdated melody sounded slowlyā¦
The cold wind
Hiding in the lonely night
It wants to cool my heart that misses you
But it accompanies me in missing you.
Every night,
Iāve never forgotten
Your back that year.
Itās still clear,
The eyes are still teary,
It makes my heart ache endlessly.
Separation is so easy
And there are still many exhortations in my heart of concern.
I didnāt have time to tell you
All of my memories,
Donāt forget.
How long has it been since I heard from you?
Do you know that Iām used to using memories to warm myself?
Iām used to missing you in the cold nights
My loveā¦
Yang Lei sat there for a long time, rewinding, playing, and rewinding again.
Outside the window, all was quiet. In the cottage only illuminated by the dim yellow light, the same melody echoed repeatedly, permeating the quiet night.
Yang Lei didnāt know how long he listened to it. He listened in silence, listening to every line, every word.