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Yukkuri Oniisan
So-Chintzy
Postwar Arc
Chapter 1 Project Lorelei B
Among the things that we acquired after Amidonia Dukedom’s Capital 『Van』capitulated, the one who made me extremely delighted was the Royal Broadcast Orb. This was the only orb that the Amidonia Dukedom possessed and was able to broadcast images to every receiver set in this country. Although I was told that the Royal Broadcast Orb is a leftover artifact from an ancient civilization and still wasn’t able to be produced by current technology, the number of orbs discovered was so numerous that excluding the constituent small countries of the Eastern Nations Alliance and the sapient Dragons’ self-governing region Star Dragon Mountain Range, each nation (the number of the orbs per nation differed though) possessed one.
However, basically the broadcasts won’t be able to be received by other countries. Well, if it was possible, then the information meant for domestic use would be known by other countries, so of course, it could also be used to incite citizens like what I did in Crimson Dragon Castle Town. Since the receiver set and the broadcast orb’s wavelength need to be configured before being used, then perhaps it was like an AM-FM radio or something to do with a frequency.
That’s why when I obtained Amidonia’s sole Broadcast Orb, it could be said that I now have the broadcasting rights monopoly for all receiver sets inside the Amidonia Dukedom. Adding the Elfrieden Kingdom’s Broadcast Orb that I had brought, then Elfireden’s first 『Entertainment Program』 could be simulcasted to two countries. Would this broadcast bring any changes to the Amidonia Dukedom? Or would it not change anything? I was really excited for it.
Read at yukkuri-literature-service.blogspot.com.
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I swear I should have a shorter blog name.
『Van』 didn’t have anything like the 『Plaza Fountain』  that was installed with receiver set to display Royal Broadcasts. Instead, the receiver set was installed at a plaza -- it was only in name as it was just an empty field – at one end side of Van. In the first place, the Royal Broadcast in this country itself was only used on New Year’s to broadcast the Duke saying 『Don’t ever forget the grudge against Elfrieden. It is national policy to recover the lost territory』 and this country’s national policy. Because the citizens must gather to watch this New Year’s broadcast or they will be punished for lese majeste, even if the citizens were sick or bed-ridden old people, they would be fastened and carried on a stool as they must not miss watching the broadcast.
And today, that young king of Elfrieden who had made 『Van』 capitulate, would perform a Royal Broadcast. Since most of the citizens had received extensive indoctrination over many decades, they didn’t have any good impressions about Elfrieden. However, currently there was a mass of citizens gathered at the field to watch the broadcast. Perhaps this was because of the habits created over many years that they must watch the broadcast or be punished. But the people who carried the ill were turned away by the soldiers who guarded the venue, 「Don’t overdo it.」
As the sun completely sunk down in the twilight sky, half of the gathered 『Van』’s citizens made confused expressions, while the other half were angry. Because the Nobles and the Knights had completely left Van, what was left in Van were just the common citizens who didn’t have anywhere to go. Naturally they hadn’t received any decent information. Here and there, whispering could be heard as the citizens discussed their future worriedly.
「Damn that Elfrieden King…… What does he intend to do by gathering everyone?」
「I took a peek at him when he entered the castle, he looks like an effeminate man.」
「Don’t judge him by his looks. He is someone who had led His Majesty Gaius around by his nose.」
「He will use the Royal Broadcast, right? What does he intend to make us listen to?」
Do he want another harem member? Such is the question.
Because of the lack of information, the discussion continued in erratic directions.
「He can’t be possibly… intending to conscript all the men as soldiers and send them to the front lines for conquering all of Amidonia after this…… right?」
「No way! I am the breadwinner of my family. If I am conscripted, then what will happen to them!?」
「We are the people who are on the occupied side. It wouldn’t be strange if they did that to us…」
「No, that might be better. What if they ordered us to hand over the women and children as slaves……」
「Well, if that is the desire of the strong, they will do it using force rather than asking us. Perhaps they will tell us to hand over all the beautiful girls inside this town.」
「Really? Then I might have to hide my wife.」
「Who will want your wife after seeing her?」
「You’re wron-……! Hey, it seems to have started.」
When they were in the middle of various absurd conversations, the receiver set at the center of the field began to project an image. The people thought that the young king in a military uniform would appear, but contrary to their expectations, it was showing a brown-haired beautiful Elf woman sitting behind a table. The woman crossed both of her hands on the long table placed in front of her and for some reason she didn’t sit facing the front, but was a facing bit diagonally to the left. Of course, only the woman’s head was turned towards the front.
Just like the ghost from the Ring.
The woman sat in a 『Mona Lisa’s Smile』 pose, which made her beauty more radiant and particularly grabbed the hearts of the Amidonian men. The men felt that it was as if they were sitting at a counter in a bar and having a conversation with the woman was sitting beside them. Then, that woman began to speak.
『Good evening everyone. This is Chris Tachyon.』
This is a white text.
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This is also a white text. Okay, I just trolling reader with text reader.
「This program is 『NEWS Elfrieden』 a program that provides information to the citizens about the news from Elfrieden Kingdom and the neighboring countries. The first news is……」
In a government affairs room at Van’s Castle, that had been hurriedly transformed into a simple news studio (although we only placed a long table and a chair, since there were already furnishings left-over in the room), Chris-san began to read the news manuscript. Aisha and I were observing her from the corner of the room that didn’t get projected by the orb. After watching her for awhile, Aisha pulled my sleeve.
「What is it?」(Souma)
「Umm… Why do we project her diagonally from the front?」(Aisha)
「Well…… Beauty style?」(Souma)
Aisha asked me with a small voice, but I can only answer her with such an answer. The reason was because I remembered how the female news announcer in Japan with the 「Ometenashi」 speech[1] sat in this position and I was just mimicking her. But when we held the rehearsal before, Chris-san begged in tears that 「Ugh, my neck is cramped」, so this diagonal way of projection might be the first and the last.
The content of the news was how about the details of the events in this war. She explained in a simple way about how in order to subjugate Gaius VIII and Julius who incited disturbances in the Kingdom to invade our Kingdom’s territory, how the Elfrieden King, Souma, performed a counter invasion against the Dukedom, defeated Gaius VIII, and made the capital 『Van』 capitulate. Aisha then tilted her head.
「Isn’t it better for Your Majesty to directly make a speech about this information? Even though Your Majesty’s fame might increase just like the time of the food gathering.」(Aisha)
「The situation is different from that time. This broadcast is also transmitted to the entire Amidonia Dukedom. No matter what the enemy country’s King say, the Dukedom’s citizens wouldn’t want to hear it. But conveying the information through a third party like this will do the trick well.」(Souma)
Well, when we discussed the content of the news manuscript with Hakuya and the others, they gave out exaggerated ideas like 『Our Beloved Majesty the King for our welfare’s sake……』, but since it gave off a feeling “like a certain dictatorship somewhere”[2], I rejected it. Ah well, even if she said such lines, Chris-san will still smoothly read the news manuscript handwritten by Juna-san with a nice voice that was pleasant to the ears.
「……so was the information we received. Though currently, the Kingdoms Army remains in Amidonia Dukedom’s Capital 『Van』, for the time being, hostilities have ceased between both sides.  Elfrieden’s King, Souma Kazuya, has released the following statements regarding this. 『The current war is a war to subjugate Gaius and Julius who had invaded our Kingdom, we will not extend the war any further than this, it is not in our country’s intend to harm the Dukedom’s citizens. Regarding the citizens of Van, we will give assistance, so the citizens will be able to quickly return to their normal lives. Furthermore, since Van is annexed as an Elfrieden territory, we will promise that it will receive the same food aid available to the Kingdom’s cities and will also undertake maintenance of any essential utilities.』 The one who is in charge of this task, Minister of Agriculture and Forestry, Poncho Ishidzuka, will distribute food rations in Van tomorrow. We have been informed that the viewer is encourage to invite their family members and neighbors to go to the distribution.」
You can see me if you squint your eyes.
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After all it is not completely white.
「What a joke!」
The new Amidonian Duke, Julius (it was just a self-given title, since just like Souma, he hasn’t had his enthronement ceremony yet), who was watching the broadcast from a city nearby 『Van』, yelled and smashed the receiver unit with his sword, before immediately giving an order to his subordinates.
「Quickly send out messengers to each city to stop watching this joke of a broadcast!」
「「「Yes Your Highness.」」」
His subordinates quickly dispersed to send out messenger soldiers. Looking at them until they left, Julius glared towards 『Van』’s direction.
「Telling us that he doesn’t have any intend to harm the Dukedom’s citizens after stealing our capital city, what impudent words to say! Foolish invaders, Van will surely be taken back!」
If Souma heard this, he might say 「You are the last person I want to hear that from」. While saying such words with indignation, Julius yelled in such an agitated manner. However, even if he said to inform each city, it wasn’t like the order would be immediately delivered to those cities, moreover since he had been defeated in battle, Julius had lost his unifying force and didn’t have any actual controlling power over every city. So, in reality the order was only executed in the city where Julius stayed in and the surroundings cities. In other words, nearly all of the cities in the Amidonia Dukedom continued to watch Souma’s broadcast.
After all, either this or watching crow flies.
The reaction of the Amidonia Dukedom’s citizens after watching this broadcast was mostly split into two. First, Van’s citizens were relieved since it didn’t say that they were to be conscripted and sent to the frontlines or to 「hand over your properties, wives and daughters」. Just by being occupied, it was already quite a pressure. On the other hand, the people that lived in the cities and villages outside Van were interested not by 「Gaius VIII’s death」 or 「Souma started this war with a just cause」, but instead by 「as an Elfieden territory, it will receive the same food aid available to the Kingdom’s cities」.
Of course, the Amidonian people were in half-doubt over these words and mostly didn’t believe it. After all, they were the words of the King of an enemy country. Everyone would just think that they were just words to win them over to his side…… However, it was the truth that Souma’s words had deeply penetrated into the heart of the Amidonian people who had been plagued by a food shortage even worse than the Elfriedens. For the ones who were suffering from it, it had penetrated even deeper.
If you see this, don’t forget to visit the original.
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By the way there are three white text troll lines. Be careful.
「……for the present situation, regarding our country’s medical treatment……」
Ten minutes had passed since Chris’ News Program started. The news that she presented right now were the final news items. After this News Program ends, finally the 『Popular Song Show』 will begin. Aisha, who stood beside me, was grabbing at my arm with a nervous expression. The hand grabbing me was trembled a bit.
「Wh-what should I do, Your Majesty. The trembling won’t stop.」(Aisha)
「Calm down. This is the second time you appeared on a broadcast, right?」(Souma)
「But last time, I was just eating, so it was alright……」(Aisha)
Yes. The current popular music show’s presenter was me and the assistant, Aisha. I don’t have any intention for her to do the hosting, but since the other people who could be pushed for the task, Poncho, was busy with preparations for food ration distribution, and Hakuya, who firmly denied it by saying he wasn’t suitable for this. That’s why I was stuck with Aisha who was clattering her teeth.
「Hah…… In the battlefield, you are very gallant, but in this field why are you so disappointing?」(Souma)
I scratched my head while feeling astonished, so Aisha just dropped her shoulders and moaned.
「Uuu… I have confidence that I won’t be defeated by anyone in the battlefield. However, I don’t have any confidence in the field of beauty. There a lot of people prettier than me, right? Like Princess-sama or Juna-dono, they are delicate fair-skinned beautiful short young ladies. I am dark-skinned and muscled……」[3](Aisha)
Even if she said she was muscled, she was not as muscular as a body builder. Or rather, she had a shapely figure to the extent that it was mysterious how she could swing a large sword without being bulging with muscles. Moreover, her height was like a model’s and since it was always covered by armor, it was hard to see it, sbut she had a figure that was better than average. On the contrary, shouldn’t it be Liscia who would be envying her instead?
「Hm. Aisha is already beautiful.」(Souma)
「I-Is that so!?」(Aisha)
Aisha blushed from being praised. However, she quickly calmed down.
「B-but, Your Majesty. As expected… as expected… the host should be Juna-san or Princess-sama……」(Aisha)
「Juna-san will be singing, so she will be too busy to become a host, while for Liscia to be the assistant…… I think it would be better to give it up for awhile this time.」(Souma)
「? Did something happened?」(Aisha)
「Perhaps it’s because I am somewhat anxious to be the host. To put it bluntly, rather than Aisha’s ability as an assistant, I am expecting more from your ability as a bodyguard. If something happens, then Aisha would go to my side and protect me, right?」(Souma)
「That is certainly…… Eh!? Will there be something dangerous!?」(Aisha)
With a plop, I put my hand on the worried Aisha’s forehead.
「Well, perhaps it will be alright. When that time arrives…… Please protect this sad excuse of a man.」(Souma)
「Your Majesty…… Yes! I will become Your Majesty’s Shield! This body too will be *mumble*mumble*」(Aisha)
I quickly put my hand over Aisha’s mouth.
「Your voice is too loud. We are still on a live broadcast right now.」(Souma)
「*mumble*…… So-sorry.」(Aisha)
Hurm, as expected, she is a disappointing dark elf after all.
「……or so was the information we received. This is 『NEWS Efrieden』 reporting…… The next program will be Elfrieden’s first entertainment program broadcast. For the viewers who aren’t in a hurry, please watch the next program.」
Ulps, Chris-san’s program seems to be finished. Well, now is our part. The recording place for the Popular Song Show wouldn’t be in this room, but would be carried out at an atrium hall that was used for banquet dance. There were already tables prepared where some of the soldiers were sitting just like in a『Cable Awards Ceremdeony』.[4] Since the presence or the absence of audience would influence the climax. Then, I held out my hand in front of Aisha.
「Now, let’s go, Aisha.」(Souma)
「Okay, I will accompany you anywhere!」(Aisha)
See you next week!
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Read the next continuation of A Realist Idol [email protected] at Larvyde site.
[1] Souma refers to Christel Takigawa, a news announcer who brings the “Omotenashi” Olympic speech as the Japanese Olympic Ambassador. And now we know where the name Chris Tachyon comes from. (Kurisuteru = Kurisu. Takigawa = Takion). Omotenashi means Hospitality.
[2] *cough*cough* North something-something  *cough*cough* something-something Il *cough*cough* (E/N: www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuKg-WhduhklQR2uqYCE_aSZgfJLsy4fx) Don’t click if you are sensitive to crude parodies and jokes.
[3] No offense to people with dark skin. Please remember that most East Asian are relatively white/fair-skinned and white skin is considered as one of the desirable beauty traits for East Asian.
[4] Japan Cable Awards are just like Grammy Awards, gifted to the best song of the year.