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Bonus Short Stories
Liscia and Aisha’s Emergency Conference
It was a few days after Roroa had come to stay with Souma.
It was the middle of a clear autumn day, but the curtains were drawn shut in the castle’s governmental affairs office, leaving only a slight gap to dimly illuminate the room. Its sole occupant was seated at the desk, elbows resting on top of it. Then another person knocked and entered with an, “Excuse me.”
“Thank you for coming,” the person at the desk spoke.
The one who had entered responded with a dubious look, “Um... princess? What are you doing in His Majesty’s seat?”
The person who had entered the room was King Souma’s bodyguard and also the candidate to become his second primary queen, Aisha. Liscia rose from her seat and drew back the curtains. Suddenly, the room was flooded with light. “I was just trying to set the mood. Also, I’ve told you, don’t call me princess.”
Not quite able to parse the situation, Aisha gave her a troubled smile and asked, “Umm... Lady Liscia? Did you call me here to joke around?”
“No, that’s not it. I do have serious business with you.” Liscia seated herself at the desk once more. “The other day, Roroa joined us as another of Souma’s fiancĂ©es. It wouldn’t do to make her position too strong, so she will be the third primary queen, ranked after both you and me.”
“Oh, yes,” Aisha said. “That gave His Majesty a just cause for absorbing the Principality, and Roroa is quite a capable individual herself, so it all worked out well... right?”
When Aisha asked that question with a prodding tone, Liscia nodded. “It was the best result that the country could have hoped for. But... It has also created a grave situation for both you and me.”
“A grave situation? What do you mean?”
Liscia said, with a face like she was announcing a death sentence: “Roroa... can cook.”
...Come again? For a moment, Aisha didn’t understand what Liscia was saying.
Liscia continued, paying no mind to the blank stare Aisha was giving her in response. “It was a careless mistake. I was sure she would be one of us... But it looks like while she was helping all her ‘uncles’ and ‘aunties’ in the market, she picked up the ability to cook simple dishes. She covers it up by speaking in merchant slang, but that girl has some serious housekeeping skills.”
“Um... Lady Liscia? Is that supposed to be a crisis?” Aisha asked.
Even if Roroa can cook, what effect does that have on us? That was what Aisha was thinking, but Liscia banged her hands down on the table.
“It’s a huge problem, Aisha. Can you do anything like cook meals?”
“Oh, no... I’m not very refined, and I’ve never done anything like that.”
“Neither have I,” Liscia said. “I was in the military until not long ago, and I had been running away from anything that seemed like bridal training because I wasn’t very good at it. I can’t make anything fit to serve to family.” Liscia joined her hands together in front of her mouth and put on a pensive look. “Juna is the one who’s always kept things in order while we ran around willy-nilly. Coming from a merchant family, she was already able to cook, clean, and do laundry. Even if they were to get married tomorrow, she would already be a good wife.”
“She’s a wonderful woman, even looking at her from our perspective,” Aisha agreed.
They were speaking of the Prima Lorelei, Juna Doma. She was beautiful, shapely, gentle, and good at household chores on top of all that. She was like a manifestation of everything men sought in their ideal woman. “You need to understand this, Aisha. Two out of four of the candidates can cook. In other words, the family will be divided into those who can do these things, and the group who can’t. We’re in the group who can’t.”
Aisha nodded and looked Liscia straight in the eyes, saying, “No, I don’t think it’s shameful that we can’t do those things, but if it’s two against two, our numbers are even, aren’t they? Those two have made their achievements in art and economics, which are cultural pursuits, but we’ve primarily been focused on military matters, so there’s no reason to look down on ourselves for it, is there?”
That was what Aisha had wanted to argue, but Liscia shook her head in silence.
“The numbers aren’t even. You’re forgetting.”
“Forgetting? What am I forgetting?” Aisha asked.
“I said ‘the family.’ There’s one more, isn’t there? Someone who will be joining our family who has even greater housekeeping skills than Juna.”
“No... You can’t mean...” With that strong of a hint, it finally dawned on Aisha. There certainly was one such person. “Is it... His Majesty?”
“Yes. You know as well as I do that the dishes Souma makes are delicious, right?”
“But of course. My stomach remembers them well.”
Souma had worked with Poncho to recreate many of the dishes from his own world. Recently, they had often been gathering around one table to eat the Japanese-style breakfasts that Souma would make. Every one of those dishes was delicious, and they had ensnared Aisha’s heart and tongue. Even the memory of them was enough to make her drool.
“It’s not just cooking,” Liscia continued. “He’s good at sewing, too. One moment he’s hand-sewing a doll, the next he’s working a treadle sewing machine to produce a robe for Tomoe.”
“He’s good at both cooking and sewing?” Aisha said. “If I were a man, I would want him as my wife.”
“I feel the same way, but unfortunately we’re the ones who are going to be the wives,” Liscia said, clenching her fist tightly as if she were giving a speech. “In other words, we, the ones who can’t cook, will be the minority in this family. Don’t you think that would feel humiliating? The fact that we aren’t even up to the same level as a man like Souma is already a black mark on our pride as women. We need to come up with countermeasures immediately.”
“I understand what you want to say, but... what exactly do you plan to do about it?” Aisha asked. “Even if we were to undergo bridal training, neither of us would know where to begin.”
Liscia nodded in agreement with Aisha’s concerns. “You’re right. We’ll need someone to cooperate with us.”
“Someone to cooperate with us? Just who do you plan to turn to for help?” Aisha asked.
“We have just the person, don’t we? One who’s been married several times over the past five hundred years, has had many children, and had lived with her husbands until death did they part. What we could call a pro wife.”
The image of a blue-haired beauty with a mysterious, sexy smile flashed through Aisha’s mind. She resembled Juna, but she set off alarm bells in Aisha’s instincts as a woman even more strongly than Juna did.
“Th-That lady? You mean...? Honestly, I think she would just toy with us, so I’m not sure I like the idea,” Aisha said.
It was the same for Liscia, but she shook her head and said with resolve, “We have no choice. Aisha, be ready to accept whatever happens.”
“Y-Yes, Lady Liscia.”
Some days later, on a certain islet in the Excel Duchy.
“Oh, me. Oh, my...” Excel smiled while reading the letter that Liscia had sent her.
Hee hee... she thought. That tomboyish princess is getting quite worked up. Now that Juna and that Amidonian princess have become his fiancées too, she may be feeling her position is in jeopardy. That just shows how special His Majesty is to the princess. Oh, my, how innocent she is. Just reading this letter is making me feel a hundred years younger.
While thinking things that belied her youthful looks, Excel let out a sigh.
“...What’s the matter?” Castor asked, somewhat hesitantly. The former commander of the Air Force was now in Excel’s custody.
Excel gave a happy laugh. “Hee hee... I was just thinking ‘Oh, what youth,’ that’s all. It might be good for me to spare just a little of my grandmotherly concern for these young girls who are going to be getting married. Maybe not stop at cooking and sewing, but teach them what a husband and wife can do in bed, too.”
“Grandmotherly concern... Well, considering your age... (Eek!) N-Never mind! It’s nothing, ma’am!”
Sensing a sudden wave of murderous intent from Excel, Castor hastily saluted. For Excel, she was okay with joking about her age herself, but she wouldn’t stand for anyone else doing it.
Her sternness soon was replaced by glee again, however. Hee hee. I’ll be looking forward to our next meeting, Princess, and Your Majesty.
Seeing the cheery look on Excel’s face, Castor could only feel sympathy for the princess he had once served.