There was no sign of Souma here, and even the maids who were always waiting in the corner of the room had been asked to leave today. On top of that... this room was weird. There was a blackboard, desks, and four desks and chairs. The desks were lined up in a row, making it look almost like one of the classrooms at the Officersâ Academy.
âHey, Big Sister Cia?â Roroa asked. âWhatâd we all get called in here for today?â
âI couldnât tell you,â I said. âIf anyone here would know...â
I looked over at Juna. However, Juna only looked down and shook her head.
âIâm sorry. Lately, even Iâm not sure what goes through that ladyâs head.â
âIf Madam Juna doesnât know, then the rest of us donât stand a chance of figuring it out.â Aisha rested her hands on the back of a chair, tilting her head to the side in puzzlement.
It was a fair assessment. That lady was completely unpredictable. Just what was she thinking this time?
Then the door to the room opened, and the one who had gathered us here arrived.
âI see everyoneâs here.â
It was the blue-haired sea serpent beauty, Excel Walter.
In addition to being the commander-in-chief of the National Defense Force, she was a beautiful woman who looked to be around twenty-five. With her blue tresses, from which tiny horns sprouted, trailing behind her as she walked, she had always been a picturesque beauty. But this time, she was carrying something in her hands, too: two bundles that were as thick as dictionaries. One was wrapped in white, the other in black.
Excel left the bundles on the lectern, then pulled out and donned a pair of spectacles and a square academic cap. âNow then, letâs have you all take your seats.â
âU-Um... Grandmother?â Juna hesitantly raised her hand and asked.
âWhat is it?â
âUm... I thought you had good vision?â
âOh, these spectacles? Theyâre just ordinary glass, not corrective lenses.â
âThen why are you wearing them?â
âIt gets me in the mood.â
Her mood?! That was the issue?! Wait, what was she about to start?!
In the end, we were each ushered into our seats by Excel with no clue what was going on. From Excelâs perspective at the lectern, going from left to right, we were seated Aisha, Roroa, me, and Juna.
Excel started to write something on the blackboard. When I read it, it said:
âFirst Lecture â Bridal Training Courseâ
Yeah, I wasnât even sure where to start.
For one thing, by âfirst,â did she mean there were going to be several of these gatherings?! What was a bridal training lecture even supposed to be?! Then Excel tapped lightly on the lectern.
âNow, all of you will be becoming Soumaâs brides this year.â
ââââ...ââââ
We all got very quiet. We were ready for it, of course, and we even wanted it now, but having someone else point that fact out to us still felt a little embarrassing.
Excel told us, âThough some of you will be primaries and some of you secondaries, the fundamental nature of things will be the same for all of you. There is a husband and a wife, they build a household, eventually children are born, and they become a family. If the family is harmonious, then they will be happy; if it is not, they will become unhappy. The problem is that if there is discord in the royal family, that leads directly to discord within the kingdom. Princess Liscia.â
âY-Yes!â I responded and stood up without meaning to. It was just like being back in officersâ school.
Excel gave me a serious look and asked, âPrincess Liscia, you have no relatives outside of your father and mother, yes?â
âUh... Yes. Thatâs what Iâve been told.â
âWhy is that?â
âWhen my motherâs father... that is to say, the king before the last one died, there was a succession crisis, and nearly every member of the royal family but my mother was wiped out.â
âYes. That was a painful time,â Excel said with a truly pained look on her face. âThe three dukes and I distanced ourselves from that conflict. If our military forces had gotten involved, it would have turned into a civil war, after all. We were all desperate to keep our forces in check. Instead, there were bitter struggles within the royal house that set even the closest relatives against one another.â
âUm... was the problem in that conflict ultimately about who would take the throne?â Aisha raised her hand and asked.
Excel shook her head. âWe think that was only a secondary factor. The first and foremost cause must have been the former kingâs policy of rapid expansion.â
âHis expansionism?â Aisha asked.
âYes. In the time of the king before the last one, our country launched a number of foreign wars that greatly expanded our territory. Meanwhile, the expanded territory sowed the seeds of conflict within the country. The occupier and the occupied; the conquerors and the conquered; the killers and the relatives of those killed... It gave birth to a lot of confrontational relationships like that. There were interventions by other countries that had lost land, too.â
â...Well, my old man had it out for you all pretty bad,â Roroa, the former Princess of Amidonia, said with a shrug.
It was a bit of a relief that she said that like it had nothing to do with her. The Principality of Amidonia had used corrupt nobles to interfere in our affairs a number of times. What theyâd done had caused a lot of trouble for me, but it was really just reaping what we had sown.
I was grateful that Roroa, as an Amidonian princess, was taking the stance that it didnât matter to her. If Roroa, who looked up to me as her âbig sister,â ended up resenting me because of a dispute between our countries... Iâd be sad about that.
Excel nodded and continued. âThose seeds of discord need to be slowly removed, but the rapid expansion didnât allow for that.â
Eventually, the old king had died, and the lingering seeds of discord had germinated into the succession crisis. If the people they hated supported one royal, people would back another opposing horse in the race. That was how the dispute over the succession had turned into a proxy war for all of the discord in the kingdom.
âThat was why it turned into such a quagmire.â Excel sighed sadly then looked straight at us. âFortunately, His Majesty Soumaâs reign is not so dangerous as that of that predecessor of his. The reason that the country is unshaken even after absorbing Amidonia is that he has worked diligently to create a solid enough base to prevent that. He is not as glamorous as the first king, but rated on the stability of his reign alone, he is the best king this country has ever had. Thatâs why, even once His Majesty Souma is no longer on the throne, there wonât be an ugly succession war like that one.â
That was Excelâs appraisal of Soumaâs reign. Yeah. I agreed with her.
I might think the way he reigned was too roundabout at times, but he was carefully and cautiously moving this country forward. If you considered that heâd been summoned as a hero, I didnât think thereâd ever been such a plain and ordinary hero before. Even so, Souma made me feel secure. Though he himself was weak, he made me feel like I was being protected by something big.
Excel banged on the blackboard. âThat said, we mustnât get complacent! It must never be forgotten that if there are cracks between king and queen, or even between queen and queen, there will be those who appear to take advantage of them. For the sake of the country, you must build a harmonious relationship between husband and wife, and a harmonious household. To help you do that, I will have you take my âBridal Training Course.ââ
I could more or less accept what she was forcefully saying. But what was this âBridal Training Courseâ that she kept on leading up to?
âUm... why are you the one lecturing us anyway, Duchess Walter?â I asked.
Excel giggled and gave me a confident smile. âI donât look it, but Iâve been alive for five hundred years. Iâve fallen for my share of gentlemen in that time, but death has always been the only thing that could separate us. Iâve always made sure to have at least one child with each of them, too.â
That was... Okay, yeah, that might be kind of amazing. Now that she mentioned it, Excel only looked like she was in her mid-twenties, but she was a woman who had experienced childbirth. She even had granddaughters like Juna, after all.
Excel puffed up her ample bosom with pride. âI will teach all of you how, as queens... no, as women... to stay with the man you love until death do you part. How you should act as a wife; the way gentlemen think; and everything from how to support your husband, to ways to perform your nightly âdutiesâ in the bedroom in a way that makes your marital relations go more smoothly.â
N-Nightly duties...
The moment we heard those words come up, we all gave pretty blatant reactions. We all must have imagined times weâd be in that sort of situation with Souma.
Roroa was blushing with a wry smile, while Junaâs cheeks turned pink and she covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes wandering. Aisha, meanwhile, had a goofy, happy look on her face, so it was obvious what she was thinking about.
...I could feel my own cheeks burning, too.
When she saw our reactions, Excel coughed politely. âI believe I will have you all start learning about such things now. I already have His Majesty Souma taking individual lessons with me, after all.â
The moment she said that, Juna looked as shocked as I felt.
Some weeks ago, Souma had taken Juna with him and left the royal capital. That was when Excel had drugged Juna, and when she was alone with Souma, she had... well... she had given him some lessons on what men and women get up to at night. I was the only one Juna had told about that. Iâd been keeping it a secret from Aisha and Roroa. That was because if they found out, they were bound to cause a scene.
Juna had asked me, as the one who had been with Souma the longest, to subtly ask him what had happened during the time they were together.
âUm, princess...â Juna leaned in and whispered in my ear so that Aisha and Roroa couldnât hear. âSo... what did His Majesty say about that time?â
âThe thing is, Souma says he doesnât remember it,â I whispered back.
âHe doesnât remember?â
âYeah. He remembers taking lectures about, um... h-how babies are made, but everything after that is a blur.â
When I had asked him about that day, Souma had tilted his head to the side and said:
âI remember everything about the super embarrassing lecture she gave me, but... I donât remember a thing after that. No, itâs not so much that I donât remember, but that my mind is refusing to let me recall it, maybe? ...Honestly, what did happen then? I know I was embarrassed by the lessons, and I was feeling really parched... Excel gave me a drink and... Itâs no good, I canât remember anything after that.... No, I feel like itâs best that I donât remember.â
Souma had tried to squeeze out what he could remember of it, but in the end, heâd seemed to come up empty. It didnât feel like he was hiding something from me or trying to dodge the issue, though. He seemed like he had truly lost his memory, or sealed it away.
Just what in the world happened to Souma after his classroom lesson? I wondered about that...
âNow, in marriage, as in war, intel is key,â Excel lectured. âOnce you know what your partner thinks of you, how they look at you, you can begin to get a feel for how you should act. If you can catch them off guard, and show them a gap between their impression of you and how you act in a way that isnât displeasing, that can help keep things from getting boring. Know your partner, know what they look at, and your marriage will never be in danger.â
Aisha raised her hand. âYou are right, I do wonder what His Majesty thinks of me. But His Majesty is not here, and if we called him, do you think he would be willing to come?â
Excel gave her a wicked grin. I... had a bad feeling about that.
âHave no worries. I have this right here.â
When she said that, Excel unwrapped the white bundle. Inside were a number of white notebooks. Excel gave one of them to each of us.
The cover of mine said âTop Secretâ and âNot to be Taken Outside.â This was beyond suspicious...
âUm, Duchess Walter, just what are these notebooks...?â I asked hesitantly.
Excel flipped through her own notebook and said, âHee hee. About the white notebooks I just gave you, you see... Why, they have what His Majesty Souma thinks about each of you written in them!â
ââââWha?!ââââ Everyone looked down at their notebooks in unison.
In this notebook?! No, but... How?
Excel explained it with a strangely glossy and gleaming smile. âThese notebooks contain the things I heard from His Majesty during his âprivate lesson.â When we finished with the classroom lecture, his majesty said he was feeling parched, so I gave him some juice mixed with tequeur. When I asked him all sorts of questions after that, he was very eloquent.â
So that was it! Juna and I looked at one another, despite ourselves.
Tequeur was a very strong alcohol. It had a light flavor, and would go completely unnoticed mixed in with a glass of juice. Souma must have drunk a lot without realizing it, then been thoroughly interrogated by Excel about his feelings for each of us. The embarrassment of it all must have caused him to suppress the memory of it.
While I was thinking about that, I looked at the notebook in front of me. If Excel was telling the truth, that meant this note contained the secret feelings Souma normally kept hidden away deep inside his heart.
Oh... When I think about it, my heart suddenly starts racing...
I wanted to know, but maybe also kind of didnât... but I did want to know, after all. I mean, I cared enough about Souma that Iâd want to know what he thought about us.
While I was thinking about that, Excel, unconcerned with our hesitation, opened her book and continued.
âNow, as I said earlier, the secret to a harmonious marital relationship is to know your partner, and to know how they see you. Letâs look at how His Majesty Souma looks at each of you. First... Roroa.â
âMeowhat?!â Roroa reacted like a startled cat.
âFirst we will begin with his appraisal of Roroa.â
âThere isnât any particular reason for it,â Excel said. âI simply thought we would start with the person who first met His Majesty the most recently.â
âWell, sure, Iâm the newcomer here, but... Well, it beats goinâ last, I guess.â Roroa seemed to have reluctantly accepted it.
...Huh? I was going last, then? Urgh... That meant the tension would last longer or me, and I didnât like that...
Excel pushed her spectacles up, then looked down at her notebook. âNow then, this is His Majesty Soumaâs appraisal of Roroa.â
âO-Oh...â Roroa put her head down on the desk. She was covering her bright red cheeks with her hands. âThis... This is pretty darned embarrassinâ,â Roroa said, writhing a little.
Yeah, I was a little embarrassed just hearing it. Souma wasnât the type to come out and say this stuff to us straight, so when he came out with his unvarnished feelings and said things like, âI love you,â or, âIâm grateful to have you at my side,â it really made an impact. Now that it had come to this, I was suddenly very interested in what he thought about me.
While we were agonizing over what was to come, Excel continued reading with an expression like it was no big deal. âFurthermore, when I asked His Majesty, âDo you have anything on your mind when it comes to Roroa?â his answer was, âI know it was a war, but it still bothers me that I killed her father.ââ
âWha?!â Roroa stopped writing in embarrassment and immediately snapped back to her senses.
ââIt was a kill-or-be-killed situation, but Iâm still her fatherâs killer. Roroa says they werenât close, but what if that isnât how she really feels, and she actually doesnât want to marry me... There are times I worry about that,â he said.â
âI-Is he stupid?!â Roroa shouted.
I felt like Iâd had ice cold water dumped over my head, too. Oh, right... I realized. If these were Soumaâs true feelings, it would include the insecurities he didnât normally show us. To think heâd felt that way about Roroa... Iâd never have noticed.
Roroa got up and stomped her feet in indignation. âDarlinâ, you dummy! Iâve already considered all of that! Iâm with ya because I wanted to be, so whyâre you thinkinâ about that stuff?!â
âRoroa!â I stood up, and gave Roroa a hug. She ceased stamping her feet with tears in her eyes.
I could also understand why Souma would feel guilty when it came to Roroa. It was because Roroa was important to him. Still, even with that said, it was wrong for him not to take her affection for him at face value.
Roroa sobbed and rubbed her face against my chest. âOhh... Big Sister Ciaaaa.â
âI know. Weâll have to tell Souma off later.â
Aisha and Juna nodded. It might have been something heâd done unconsciously, but he was going to have to pay for making our âlittle sisterâ cry.
After waiting for Roroa to settle down, Excel spoke to her. âThe reason His Majesty thinks about that is because he loves you and youâre important to him. You understand that, right?â
â...Yeah,â Roroa said. âThatâs why, though itâs frustratinâ that my feelinâs ainât gettinâ through to him, I was a little happy that Darlinâ cares so much about liâl old me.â
âIf you understand that, then youâll be fine,â Excel said to Roroa with a smile.
It had been a bit tumultuous, but now Roroaâs turn was done. Next, Excel called her granddaughterâs name.
âSo thatâs how His Majesty feels...â Juna was wearing a slight, but happy, smile. Well, of course, any girl would after hearing âI wouldnât want to let anyone else have herâ... you know?
Excel kept on reading. âSo, when I asked him, âDo you have anything on your mind when it comes to Juna?â his response was, âJuna is too mature and not good at letting others indulge her, so when she occasionally lets me spoil her, as a younger guy, I feel really special.ââ
â...Excuse me, but I was under the impression that His Majesty and I are the same age?â Juna broke in.
Now that she mentioned it, I had heard that Juna was supposed to be turning twenty this year, just like Souma.
âThis is something His Majesty realized later, but in his world, a year is apparently 365 days,â said Excel. âThe days in our world are 384 days, so with the gap between the two, you would be a year older in Soumaâs world.â
The gap between the two worldsâ years was 19 days. 365 divided by 19... In about 19 years, it would add up to a full yearâs difference.
This fact sent Juna into a rare panic. âI-I was older than His Majesty Souma? Excuse me, what did His Majesty have to say about that? Heâs not against having an older woman, is he?â
I didnât think Souma would ever reject Juna just because she was older than him, but she probably couldnât help but be worried. By the way, when she mentioned the possibility of him not wanting an older woman, Aisha looked like sheâd just been hit by a stray bullet. You could never tell how old someone from the long-lived races was by their appearance, after all. We hadnât been told how old she was right now, either.
Excel gave Juna a big grin. âDonât you worry. This is what His Majesty Souma said: âIn my world, there was a proverb: âFind a woman one year your senior, even if you have to wear metal sandals to do it.â Juna is a woman worth wearing metal sandals that wonât wear out, and searching the entire world to find. Thereâs no problem with it at all.ââ
â...Iâm glad.â Juna looked deeply relieved.
Next, it was Aishaâs turn.
âHis Majestyâs appraisal of Aisha was...â
âUm? Why did you suddenly pause there?â Aisha burst out.
âWell... âSheâs like a pet.ââ
âSay what?!â
âââOh...âââ
âWhaa?! Why do you all look satisfied with that answer?!â Aisha shouted.
No, I mean... You know? When Aisha was with Souma, she was like a pet dog, catching prey for her master and then going, âPraise me, praise meâ as she wagged her tail, after all.
âAccording to His Majesty Souma, âAisha is a strong, noble, and beautiful warrior. It would be fair to call her this kingdomâs greatest warrior. Itâs reassuring to have her at my side... or it should be, but I feel like I just canât leave her alone sometimes. Itâs supposed to be her job to protect me, but I end up wanting to protect her... Well, when there was that disaster in the God-Protected Forest, I did see how emotionally fragile she could be, after all.â To my question of, âIs there anything on your mind about her?â he responded, âThat I hope we can sit at the same dinner table forever, I guess.ââ
âUwahhh! Iâve failed as a bodyguard!â Aisha wailed. âBut still, when he says, âI canât leave her alone,â and âI want to protect her,â it made me feel a little happy, stupid meeee!â
While Aisha laid her head down on the desk, stuck between feeling happy and pathetic, Roroa patted her gently on the back. It looked like Aisha was in shock, but as for me... I felt a little jealous of her, maybe? If she was like a pet, it meant he cherished her just that much, and I wanted him to say he wanted to protect me, too.
âFinally, Princess Liscia... For this one, I should start with his response to my question, âDonât you have anything on your mind when it comes to Princess Liscia?â I suppose.ââ
âHuh...?â
Why were we starting with the âDo you have anything on your mind?â question for me? I wanted to find out what Souma thought of me, just like everyone else had. While I was thinking that, Excel shook her head silently with a smile.
âThereâs no need for that. I think his appraisal of you is summed up quite succinctly in his answer to this question. This is what His Majesty said: âNothing.ââ
Nothing? He didnât have anything on his mind when it came to me? No fair... Heâd had something for everyone else, hadnât he? And yet... when it came to me, it was âNothingâ...
Why...?
âPrincess!â Excel barked.
Iâd nearly gotten lost in my thoughts, but Excelâs voice snapped me back to attention.
âOh! Sorry.â
âListen until Iâm finished, please. His Majesty continued on to say this: âI told her the most important thing on that snowy day. I donât have anything more to say than that.â Now, as for what he said on that snowy day... I refrained from asking him in detail, but I think you must have some idea what he meant, right?â
It came back to me. Of all the days I had spent with Souma, there was one day in which I vividly remembered that it was snowing. It had been the 31st day, 12th month, and 1,546th year of the Continental Calendar. Last yearâs New Yearâs Eve.
âThe truth is, this is something... I really ought to have told you before Aisha, before Juna, and before Roroa...â
That night, on the terrace of the governmental affairs office, Souma had said it.
âLiscia... I love you. Please, marry me.â
Souma had proposed to me in the snow that had just begun to fall. He had already told me the most important thing, and there was nothing else left to think about. That was what Souma said.
I see... I had already received them, hadnât I? The feelings that Souma held dearest. The moment I thought that, there was a warmth in my chest. Then...
Slap, slap, slap, slap... Roroa, Aisha, and Juna all started slapping me on the back.
âOw...! Hey, stop it! That hurts!â I shouted.
âââ...âââ
âI dunno,â Roroa said. âIt feels mighty unfair that only Big Sister Cia gets it.â
âOhh... Something special just for the two of you, Iâm so jealoooouuuus,â Aisha moaned.
âOh! Dear, how shameful of me...â Juna said.
When I looked at the jealous Roroa and Aisha, and Juna who was blushing in embarrassment about what she had just done, I broke into a smile.
Yeah... That was right. Everyone could feel jealous, or that things werenât fair. The fact that I was candidate to be the first primary queen had nothing to do with it. It was a feeling I had just because of how much I cared for a person. That being the case...
â...Hey, Roroa, Iâm jealous of the rest of you, too, you know?â I said.
âHm? Are ya?â she asked.
âYeah. I wanted to be told, âI like this about her,â or, âI donât want to let anyone else have her,â or, âI want to protect her.ââ
âHmm. Well, maybe thatâs just how it goes.â
That was why I had to accept it, not deny it. Because I realized this feeling was important.
With all of our appraisals over and done with, Excel clapped her hands together.
âNow, you all understand what Souma thinks of you. From here, I think weâll go into some more practical knowledge of how to improve your marital relations.â
ââPractical knowledgeâ?â I echoed without thinking, for which Excel gave me an incredibly nice smile.
âDidnât I tell you at the very beginning? In this lecture, I teach you how you should act as a wife, the way gentlemen think, and everything from how to support your husband to how to perform your nightly duties in the bedroom in a way that makes your marital relations go more smoothly. Iâll be ever so very thorough teaching you about that.â
ââââ...ââââ We all fell into dead silence.
Right. Now that sheâd mentioned it, she had said that was what this course was about.
âUm, Grandmother? Setting the other parts aside, well... D-do we absolutely have to take your lectures on our nightly, um, âd-dutiesâ?â Juna asked.
âL-Like Juna said,â Aisha added. âItâs just too embarrassing...â
âIâm a little interested, yâknow?â Roroa put in.
âR-Roroa!â I shouted.
âHuh? You ainât interested, Big Sister Cia?â
âThatâs... Maybe a little, but...â
While we were acting reluctant, Excel gave us a look that seemed to say, âIâve already planned around you feeling that way,â and she patted the remaining black bundle confidently.
âOh my? Youâre sure you want to pass up this opportunity? If you take my lectures to the end, youâll receive one of these in commemoration.â
As she said that, Excel unwrapped the black bundle, and inside there were notebooks just like before. However, these books were thin, and their covers were black. Their covers carried the even more dangerous sounding, âDocuments Contain Top Secret Classified Information,â and âDispose of by Incineration After Reading.â
They were being treated like forbidden books, but Excel opened one up and began flipping through it as if to show it off to us.
âThis black notebook contains the [censored] that His Majesty Souma wants you to do for him, or that he wants to do for you, and the situations involved.â
ââââHuh...? Whaaaaaa?!ââââ
The look in everyoneâs eyes changed.
[Censored]? Wait, seriously?! I thought.
âI heard all of this after plying him with even more tequeur, so Iâm sure of it,â Excel said. âIn short, these notebooks contain the naked truth about his desire for the four of you that His Majesty Souma normally keeps under control and hidden away.â
So this was it!
Juna and I looked at each other once again. Little wonder he had suppressed the memory. If heâd remembered blabbing about all of this embarrassing stuff, I was sure heâd never be able to look any of us in the eye again.
Everyone looked intently at the black notebooks. Excel made a show of flipping through one of them so that only she could see.
âMy, how interesting. It seems he wants to do different things with each of you. With Roroa... Hoho. With Aisha... I see, so thatâs how he likes it, huh. With Juna... Oh, my, to be so young again. And with the princess... Hee hee.â
Hee hee, what?! What exactly was written in there?!
Though Excel was beautiful as she gave us a sidelong glance with a seductive smile, she also looked like a demon lord. I dunno... I had to feel sorry for Souma after all this.
âUm... Duchess Walter? I think those notebooks are going a bit far...â I hesitated.
âOh, you donât want them, then? In that case, theyâll have to be burned like it says on the cover...â
ââââWe want them!ââââ the four of us shouted in unison.
Excel nodded with satisfaction.
...Sorry, Souma. But Iâm sure this is for the good of the kingdom. While making excuses to my absent husband-to-be, I gave in.
âNow, letâs begin the lecture,â Excel said with satisfaction.
This was how the first lecture of Excelâs Bridal Training Course began.
Well, of course, I wanted that black notebook... I felt it was necessary for building a stable household and a stable country.
So that we could all live happily ever after.
Now, about these black notebooks: it is said that, in later days, the candidates to become queens would ask Excel to produce them regularly. At first, they would incinerate them when they finished reading them, but eventually they started to store them somewhere safe, thinking they could be useful again in the future.
In later years, an historical scholar who discovered a box containing several of these booklets attempted to announce their contents at an historical conference, but he stopped just before the announcement claiming the discovered documents were âforgeries.â There were reports that a group of suspicious men had made contact with him a few days prior, but the truth of those rumors remains in the darkness.