Kyosul herself was surprised to know she had made such a confession. How could she wish Ruhae was the Crown Prince?
I feel comfortable when Iâm with him.
I laugh when Iâm with him.
I miss him when he is not around.
She kept thinking about him more and more deeply before she knew, but she was still confused about whether it was because of Bipaanâs icy attitude or because of Ruhaeâs lie that she was so sad and heartbroken now.
âWas he simply teasing me?â
She was scared. She was even worried that his words and actions she had observed so far were deceptive in nature given that he had lied about his identity.
Bipaan treated me as much of a mere child. How much did I look foolish and funny to Ruhae then?
As such thoughts came to her mind often, she was distressed all the more.
As the Crown Princess, she enjoyed spending time with another man, regarding him as a friend, and even confessed to him that she wished he was the Crown Prince.
âWhat a fool I am! Why didnât I ask him about his identity?â
After blaming herself for a long time, she began to hold a grudge against Ruhae.
She felt the reason he didnât tell her about his identity frankly was that he regarded her as an unimportant woman. Though she was confused about whether a weight on her mind was caused by Bipaanâs cold treatment or Ruhaeâs ignorance. She was more and more attracted to Ruhae. It was the first time she thought about a man for so long other than her brothers.
Every day the royal doctor brew herbal medicine for Kyosul. Receiving a bowl of herbal decoction, the nanny stood before the door of her room and asked, âYour Highness, are you awake?
She didnât reply, but when the nanny glanced at the court ladies, they opened the door. With her head lowered, she stepped into the room, put down the bowl, and looked at the bed.
She was already awake and sitting up in bed. She looked paler in her white nightgown.
âThis herbal decoction is for you. The doctor asked you to have it on an empty stomach first then he will prepare another medicine after you have porridge for breakfast. â
â⌠â
She was silent. Looking at her with trembling eyes, the nanny offered the herbal decoction to her.
âPlease drink it when it is warm.â
Receiving the bowl, she cautiously emptied it. It tasted bitter in her mouth.
But for now, she felt much more bitter than it.
âLet me bring your breakfast soon.â
Holding the empty bowl, the nanny bowed to her and stepped back. After a while, she brought a pill with the porridge. Kyosul didnât say anything until she finished her breakfast.
At noon, she brought lunch. The doctor didnât prescribe any medicine for lunch. Granted that she ate like a bird usually, she hardly ate the food today. As she had medicine but not much food, the nanny was worried. She was sitting for a while after she had lunch. Then she was about to lie on the bed when a court lady gave her a message.
***
Sunny spring days were waning, and Mother Nature was preparing to close spring. Full-petaled spring flowers began to disappear one by one, and the cool spring breeze gradually began to turn warm, heralding the arrival of summer.
Ruhae, the owner of Namchon Palace in the center of the South Palace, sat in his study with a pale face. He looked so pale that he looked like he would collapse at any moment. The reason he was so haggard was because of one woman whom he couldnât throw her name around now. Ruhae had a friend that he enjoyed meeting until recently. She was none other than Kyosul, who came from the Hwa Kingdom for a political marriage with Bipaan, the Crown Prince of the Mok Kingdom. He used to meet her mainly in the back garden of the outer palace without any prior appointment. When he was caught being with her by chance by Bipaan, she found out that he did not reveal his identity to her.
I canât forget how embarrassed she wasâŚ
He couldnât forget her embarrassed eyes and the expression on her face when she came to know for the first time that he was a prince and that his name was not Uljin Yu but Yuuljin Danmok. Whenever he closed his eyes, her glittering eyes came to his mind, troubling his heart.
Iâve brought myself to this. Who can I blame?
This was a punishment he brought onto himself. He should have revealed his identity from the beginning. If he had done so, she might have taken it and given it a pass without any problem as she was simple and naive. But he was scared. He was worried that if she was the Crown Princess would be wary of him, a prince. He was scared because of the unusually fierce competition among princes to succeed the throne.
âI hid my identity because I didnât want to lose her, but that made me lose her more quickly.â
Thinking over and over his mistake, Ruhae murmured with a deep sigh.
âLike brother Bipaan said, I might have⌠â
Ruhae suddenly recalled Bipaanâs sarcastic criticism of him.
Did you feel a great pleasure when you heard the Crown Princess calling you by your given name? I think you were indulged in a sense of superiority as if you were her paramour or the Crown Prince, and didnât think of correcting her mistake, right?
Was it because he liked it so much when Kyosul called him by his given name?
Yuuljin
Her voice and her bright smile came to his mind suddenly. Her pronunciation of his name was so cute and adorable, with a pleasant vibration.
But he could not hear her voice anymore, let alone her calling his name. After she found out about his deception, she didnât come to the back garden anymore. Nevertheless, Ruhae continued to visit the back garden as if that were a ray of hope he could count on.
As the days went by, Ruhae became more and more skinny. When he held a brush with a tired face, the eunuch said, âYour Excellency, Prince Ruhae, the princess has arrived.â
âLet her in.â
At his short reply, the door of his study was opened and a fine woman came in. Her round and small face shaped like a finely carved chestnut was pure and white without blemishes. Her hair was shiny as it was treated with camellia oil, and half of her round forehead was covered with bangs. She had a neat and elegant impression.
She was Princess Yomin, a woman of virtue who always served him loyally with all her heart without any objection to his instruction. Princess Yomin came into his study and said hello.
âIâm honored to see Your Highness.â
She adjusted her posture and looked at his face. She came to him with a light step. A woman, who hesitated to choose for a moment between the cushion mat next to him and one before his desk, sat face to face with him.
âYour Excellency, whatâs the matter with you? I hear that you havenât had much food recently. â
âNo, Iâm fine. Iâve got something that disturbs me. Thatâs all. Donât worry about me.â
âOh, Prince Ruhae.â
There was some sadness in her calling with lament. She was heartbroken at his reply. He always treated her with courtesy. She was thankful to him because he seemed to respect her, but she felt heartbroken all the time because he seemed to keep his distance from her by showing too much decorum.
Today, she asked, though she knew she would be rejected.
âIs it something you canât share with your wife?â
Ruhae looked into her eyes. Her clear eyes were filled with her concern about him.
He seemed to hesitate for a moment, but today, too, he shook his head firmly with a smile.
âThanks for your concern, Princess Yomin. But this is a very little private matter of mine. So, it doesnât deserve your concern at all. â
Though he said in a kind and soft voice, she felt it like a dagger in her heart. She wished he hadnât smiled at all. Though he was always sweet and kind to her, she was hurt by his kindness sometimes.
Looking at his smile, her face became rather hardened. He was trying to keep his distance from her. He always treated her carefully. Though he couldnât be more kind to her, he wounded her heart. She clenched her fists, her hands placed on her knees. Her skinny and small fists trembled suddenly.
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After all, she said something she shouldnât have.
âI hear there is some rumor about you circulating among the court ladies.â
With a curious look, he looked at Yomin. She turned her mouth up slightly.
She smiled a long smile and continued casually.
âThe rumor is that when the Crown Princess first came to the imperial palace, you greeted her kindly and had romantic feelings about her, and since then you have secretly been meeting every day and have confirmed your love.â