The room was quite dim, lit only by a small light bulb.
I guess Iām getting used to the darkness, and I can see the figure of the riajus sleeping in the middle of the room.
I know Iām in the way, but since Fuji-san is sleeping beside him I canāt really leave.
So because of this, Rin and I had to lie down near the edge of the room.
To be honest, this situation with the two of us lying together was unwanted and not my intention.
Of course, it was Kenichiās fault, butā¦
I had originally planned to offer Rin a place to sleep and spend the night sitting in the hallway or in the bathroom.
But she stubbornly refused for me to do so, saying,
āNot sleeping is bad for your health.ā
The distance between us was close, and we were both wearing light clothing, so the synergistic effect was that the heat was being transmitted directly to me.
In addition, the season is summer.
So itās unbearably hot.
Well, thereās no point in complaining.
Itās the sort of thing that can happen when four people stay together in a small room.
I heard a cute yawn from the goddess beside me.
āWhy donāt you go to bed?ā
āNo, itās all right. Iām definitely sleepy, but Iād like to talk to you about something.ā
āI see.ā
I heard another adorable yawn.
I donāt think itās necessary to overdo it, but if youāre a high school student, youāll usually get excited and say, āI wonāt sleep until morning!ā Or something along those lines.
Itās the same phenomenon as not sleeping at night on a school trip.
Well, I would sleep comfortably even in such a situation.
ā¦Unless itās something like this.
āKotone-chan and Kato-san have fallen asleep.ā
āThatās right. āCome on! Letās talk until morning!ā Isnāt it a little too goofy for a guy who was so excited about it to fall asleep?
After that Kenichi said, āIām going to recharge my batteries so I can talk!ā and then fell asleep.
āFufu. Thatās true.ā
āNowā¦ā
āā¦ā
The conversation died down and the room fell silent.
āHey, Rin.ā āTowa-kun ā¦ā
I guess we both couldnāt stand the silence.
We both spoke out at the same time and fell silent again.
āLetās start with ā¦, Towa-kun.ā
āNo, I really didnāt have anything to say, so you can start.ā
āIs that so? Then Iāll take your word for itā¦ā
Rin twisted her body around to look at me as she laid down.
The distance between our faces is so close that you can almost notice the small changes in our expressions.
If it had been brighter, she probably would have seen the blush on my face.
However, Iām having trouble with where to look.
Even in the dark, I canāt look at her this close.
I move to turn my face away, but Rinās hand stops me, forcing me to look at her.
āLook people in the eye when you talk to them.ā
āYouāre too closeā¦ Iām nervousā¦ā
āThis is also part of the process of making Towa-kun a decent person.ā
āOh, yes, there was something like thatā¦ā
āSo letās have a conversation without turning away.ā
āā¦ā¦Understoodā
I look at Rinās eyes even though her behavior is a little suspicious.
Rin watched me intently.
She didnāt seem particularly nervous, well she was the quintessential goddess of riajus.
āOK ā¦ Then letās continue the story.ā
āThatās right. First of all, why is Towa-kun insensitive?ā
āI donāt know!ā
My voice got louder as I reflexively replied, and Rin put her finger to her mouth to shushed me.
āIām sorryā¦ I donāt know what youāre talking about. That wasā¦ā
āI seeā¦Then what do you think of love?ā
āThatās a very vague question.ā
āPlease answerā
I pause for a moment and take a breath.
And I just answered, āItās a hassle, that kind of thing.ā
Kenichi would have said, āNo, itās not! Itās a wonderful thing!ā And Iām sure the Goddess would say ā
āI thought so too.ā
The unexpected response left me at a loss for words.
Despite that, Rin laughed like a child who had succeeded in playing a prank, āHmm, was that unexpected?ā.
āOh, I thought that the goddess and her riaju friends were romance supremacists.ā
āThatās not the case? Iāve never been interested in romance until recently, either. Like Towa-kun, I wondered why they were trying so hard for something so tedious and unproductive.ā
āSo you were surprisingly cold-hearted,ā
āYes, I was. Iāve never been in a relationship with anyone, so Iām probably not qualified to talk about love, but Iāve been courted beforeā¦ā
Iāve only ever seen Rin confessed to once.
It was over in a split second, butā¦I see, there was more than that.
āItās a lot of work, isnāt it?ā
āYes, it was. There were some people who were very persistentā¦But now I understand a little bit more about how they feel.ā
āYeah? You said you were thinking about it, so does that mean youāve changed your mind?ā
āYes. I found out how wonderful it is to be crazy about one person.ā
She smiled and took my hand in hers.
I wondered if my hands were sweating. I tried to distract myself from this by trying to worry about weird thingsā¦but that didnāt work.
āI didnāt know I had these feelings. I didnāt know that something could be bitter and painful, yet somehow warm and shinyā¦ā
āI see, ā¦I guess Iām just bitter, you know, about love.ā
āThat may be true, but itās fun to imagine the happiness that might come in the midst of the pain, isnāt it?ā
āItās a delusionā
āThatās right, but no one knows if it ends with a delusion, because the delusion may turn into reality.ā
āā¦ maybe thatās the case.ā
If you keep pursuing it one day, it might pay off.
I donāt want to think about who it is ā¦
āAlso, thereās one thing Iāve learned from talking to you, Towa-kun.ā
āYou have?ā
āYes. Do you know what it is, Towa-kun?ā
I wondered if there was anything that she could learn from this exchange.
I remembered what I had said and tried to clear my head as much as possible.
I racked my brain, but no conclusion came to me.
I just groan, āHmm.ā
āThe answer is simple.ā
āYeah?ā
āThe answer is simple, youāre not as insensitive as you think, Towa-kun.ā
The words chilled me as if ice had been placed on my chest.
But Iāve got to keep calm and collected.
āAs I said earlier, I donāt really understand. The word insensitive is just another personās assessment, and I canāt judge for myself.ā
I said plainly.
āYou said it earlier, didnāt you, Towa-kun? I called love just painful. Itās a feeling that people who donāt know what love is donāt understand.ā
āā¦Yeah, maybe.
āCan you talk to me aboutā¦?
āI donāt have any. I never have and I never willā¦ā
She muttered a sad, āIs that so ā¦ā and didnāt ask any more.
After about 10 minutes of silence, Rin leaned in close to me and wrapped her arms around me.
āSomedayā¦Towa-kunā¦willā¦not be afraid ā¦ā
But she didnāt say it to the end and instead took a breath and started sleeping.
Iām sure that Rin, who always leads a regular life, was at the limit of her sleepiness.
I was relieved to see that she had fallen asleep.
āRunning out of gas in the strangest place, huh?ā
I chuckled and draped her with the blanket I had left at her feet.
āThank you, Towa-kunā¦ā
I thought I heard her say that faintly, as if she was talking in her sleep.
But Iām in troubleā¦
I canāt get away from her even if I wanted to.
Rin snuggled into my arms like a pillow.
She looked like a child sleeping with her parents, and I found her innocence adorable.
Itās just that Iām having a very hard time putting my thoughts togetherā¦because of the soft feeling Iāve never felt before on my arm.
āDamn ā¦ā¦, youāre really too defenseless.ā
I let out a sigh naturally.
I canāt help but be conscious when someone does this to me.
I look up to the sky and see a light bulb glowing faintly.
Pleaseā¦
Donāt let me get my hopes upā¦
I couldnāt go to sleep because I was at a loss on how to sort out this uncontrollable emotion.
TL Note: Welp, the schedule I set for myself obviously didnāt end up happening. I got accepted into my chosen university, so Iāve been spending more time working on school then Iām comfortable with.
I spent more time editing this chapter than I did the previous one, so hopefully the quality is up to par. If not let me know what to improve on and Iāll keep an eye out for it next chapter.