‘Hm, have I ever been mad at you? I don’t think I have.’
Mikhail, he was the man that I loved, as well as the male lead of this novel.
But even as I stared at his face, my heart remained so calm to the point it was eerie. I felt a sense of despondency.
‘I loved him so much, but that love dissipated so quickly.’
My past self believed him to be my savior and longed for love. I gave meaning to even the smallest, insignificant words he would say and would get nervous if the expression on his face was ever the slightest bit negative, afraid that he would leave me.
However, my thoughts and personality completely changed when I recovered the memories of my past life where I took care of my own tuition, studies, employment, and living expenses.
‘My future is something that I can change myself, I don’t need a savior.’
After coming to this realization I spoke,
“I’m not mad.”
Because I no longer want to waste my time pouring my feelings into you.
As I strengthened my resolve, Mikhail stared at me with a slightly irritated expression.
“Juvellian.”
Although it was a relationship I forced upon him, it had been 2 years since I started dating Mikhail.
“Surely our relationship wouldn’t go awry over something like this?”
The implied meaning was there: Don’t be any more annoying.
It was not a request but a polite warning.
Like usual, I gave an innocent smile.
“I wouldn’t get mad over something like that. I was just playing a prank on you.”
I was trying to lighten the mood but seeing the serious look on his face, it seemed I offended him by saying it was a prank.
“A prank? That’s quite unlike you.”
He gave a deep sigh before staring at me with tired eyes.
“So what business did you call me here for?”
Seeing his blatant distaste for being here, I let out another sigh.
‘Well, it’s understandable that he’d be mad since this isn’t the first or second time I’ve interrupted his training’
Taking all my past wrongdoings into account, I decided to stand down for now.
“Mikhail, today I-“
“I made time for you today because you said it would only take a moment, but it’s difficult for me if you keep dragging it on like this.”
Mikhail cutting off my words before I could even finish caused me to burst out into laughter. However, he didn’t seem to care.
“If it’s not important, I’ll be taking my leave.”
Sure enough, he was trying to leave like usual. He probably didn’t want to be with me any more than he had to. Although he was being rude, nothing good would come out of being on bad terms with the male lead of this novel.
“It’ll only take a moment.”
“I’m afraid I have to go now. I have an important training session.”
The moment I met his cold-hearted eyes, I felt a surge of anger.
‘Ha, what a petty man! There’s a limit to how arrogant you can be! You can’t even spare me 5 minutes?’
Mindful of his busy schedule, I had asked him 3 days in advance for our meeting today.
Yet I still spent 3 hours waiting for him here in the lounge of the Imperial Knights’ training ground. He viewed his time very preciously but completely disregarded mine.
‘Well, there’s no further reason for me to put up with this anymore.’
I lowered my voice to set the mood.
“Please sit down. This won’t take very long.”
“I clearly told you I cannot.”
Even now he still saw himself as above me as he spoke in a threateningly low voice.
I felt the need to break his delusion.
“My father is aware we’re meeting today, wouldn’t he think it’s weird if you went back this early?”
Mikhail’s face hardened after I mentioned his superior, my father, whom he feared but respected.
“I will give you exactly 5 minutes.”
It seemed even a mighty knight like Mikhail was afraid of the empire’s only Sword Master. To think he could sit so obediently like that.
‘Should I have mentioned my father earlier?’
Recalling all the moments where I used to worry about how to please him caused me to break out a smile once more.
‘It was all for naught, and to think there was even an easy method like this…”
A rigid voice interrupted my thoughts, “What’s so funny?”
Although Mikhail’s expression was full of displeasure, I didn’t care. I no longer needed to leave a favorable impression.
“2 years…We spent quite a lot of time together.”
I started with a sentimental opening, but perhaps he thought I was going to talk about love again, as he interrupted in that low voice of his,
“You called me just to say something like that?”
As he spoke those kinds of words and did not even bother to continue listening…I guess he really hated being with me.
”Can’t you hold in that temper of yours for just a little? I’m about to give you a present.’
Frankly, I was heartbroken, but due to my numerous part-time job experiences, I was able to put on a superficial* smile.
“You won’t be busy anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
I furrowed my brows as he openly spoke informally to me now.*
‘No matter the excuse, you’re really too much’
I wish I could say something like, “starting today, you’re fired because I’m going to tell my father.” I wanted to show him the bitter taste of power through blackmail. Unfortunately, my father wouldn’t dismiss one of his treasured men. Moreover, if Mikhail were to hold a grudge, I would be the only one to suffer. He had the female lead of this novel to back him up, after all.
‘I need to make as few enemies as possible since my goal is to live long.’
I slowly opened my mouth, reminding myself of my decision.
“I’m saying I’m letting go of you now.”
Hearing my words, his eyes widened before slowly returning to their normal size, while his mouth slanted in disbelief.
“Nonsense, do you expect me to believe those words?”
I couldn’t help but sigh at his sarcastic attitude.
‘Well, it’d be a waste of time to talk any further.’
Having nothing more to say, I stood up from my chair.
“You don’t have to believe me if you don’t want to, but know that I’ve clearly said I’m breaking up with you.”
As I turned around, a frigid voice could be heard.
“Alright, I’ll trust you this one time. However, do not appear before me from now on.”
The corners of my lips twitched upward at the unexpected remark.
‘Did I succeed at safely breaking up with him?’
Whatever the reason, he accepted the breakup.
Rather than feeling regret, I felt relieved. Now I could go on with my goal of living a happy and enjoyable life.
Although my father was indifferent towards me, he also didn’t say anything when I indulged in luxuries. Since it was like this, I might as well take advantage of my father’s money and enjoy this life. Imagining my happier future, my mood got better and I turned to face Mikhail with a bright smile.
“I’m sorry for everything up until now. Please be happy.”
After genuinely wishing him well, I turned around.
Usually, I had always worn uncomfortable, but pretty shoes around Mikhail. However, the shoes I wore today had lower heels and were plain in comparison.
‘Is it because of these comfortable shoes?’
I was able to leave my seat at ease without leaving behind any regrets.
* * *
‘You’re sorry for everything?’
Mikhail glared at the back of the woman who was walking away from him.
‘Bullshit, this is obviously just another scheme to get my attention’
Mikhail was confident that Juvellian would soon turn around and come back to him. Contrary to his expectations, however, she never turned around and instead continued to walk farther and farther away from him.
Once Juvellian completely left the lounge, Mikhail tightly clenched his fists.
‘Are you really leaving?’
Juvellian Eloy Floyen.
Despite being a breathtaking beauty, she was a pitiful woman with a troubled heart.
For the past two years, under the pretense of love, he had suffered from her actions.
She would always try to follow him wherever he went. If anyone tried to have a conversation with him, she would be hostile towards them. Just a tiny bit of attention from him would bring her great happiness.
That’s right, she was like a dog. A stupid dog that would wag their tail even if they were pushed away; a dog that would come back and act cute even if you hated them.
It had always been so bothersome, but the main reason Mikhail put up with her was because of her father, the Duke of Floyen, his idol.
<You must be Mikhail.>
He also realized that the number of annoying women dwindled when he was with her.
‘What could’ve caused her to have a sudden change of heart?’
Brooding over Juvellian’s sudden change, Mikhail unknowingly clenched his fists. She had completely left his line of sight now. He thought he’d feel relieved but instead, he felt strange.
‘Yeah, well, I guess I don’t have to see that troublesome woman anymore.’
Following that thought, Mikhail tried to get rid of the strange and horrible he felt but —
“Damn it.”
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t forget that image.
<I’m sorry for everything up until now. Please be happy.>
The image of her face that was smiling so brightly, as if she was relieved.
* * *
‘Ah, feels like a hundred years’ worth of indigestion finally went away. I should hurry to my room and rest.’
When I returned home after breaking up with Mikhail, I encountered someone at the entrance. It was a handsome man, who passed on the same silver hair and blue eyes, but not his remarkable appearance to me.
Maybe it was because it seemed like he was aging ever so slowly, but I thought we could pass off as siblings.
‘At this rate, I’ll end up looking older than him one day.’
“Father, you’ve returned?”
As soon as I greeted him with a bright voice that was the opposite of my inner feelings, he looked at me with indifferent eyes.
My only remaining family member, my father, it had been years since I last greeted him affectionately like this.
<Don’t come looking for me again.>
Ever since I was rejected by him when I was young, I had spoken to him only when necessary.
But now there was a reason for me to pretend to be friendly and make small talk.
‘Because now, I want to be happy.’
After gaining the memories of my past life, I realized an important fact – no matter how much I begged for love, my father could abandon me whenever he wanted. As I was lacking in many ways, I was nothing more than an embarrassment he had to hide.
Since I wouldn’t receive his love anyway, I had decided to live appropriately and find happiness elsewhere.
‘That’s right, the happiness of money!’
Of course, I still had a conscience so I wouldn’t be too greedy. A territory in the countryside, a few assets, and out of my father’s many lower titles, the title of Viscount should be enough, right?
‘Well, to be honest, that alone would be enough for me to live in luxury for the rest of my life.’
I no longer had any intentions of begging my father for his love. Instead, I would aim for happiness with his money, and in order to do that, I would need to maintain a proper relationship with him. If our relationship would become as bad as it was in the original novel, I might not even get a single cent.
In any case, I put on my best perfunctory smile.
“You must be tired from supervising the training session.”
As expected, my father gave no response.
‘Sigh, is it difficult to spare me even just one word?’
Honestly, as a human being, my feelings were hurt, but it was bearable. After all, it wasn’t the first or second time I’ve been ignored.
“Please go up and rest. I’ll be going to bed as well.”
It was after I bid him goodnight and started heading towards my room on the second floor that I heard him speak,
“There was no training today.”
T/N:
*superficial/perfunctory smile = think “customer service/business” smile (which would be the literal translation).
*They’ve been speaking formally but at this moment Mikhail switched to talking informally but ofc when translating to English there isn’t as clear of a distinction between formal vs. informal