This yifu resembled an Immortal, but after a while, you’d realize that besides those three things, he couldn’t take care of himself at all.
JUNE 19, 2016RUYI
Chapter 4: Two or Three Interesting Incidents at Home
There were three important things that yifu did everyday.
One, sleep. Those familiar with him knew as soon as he lay down in his clothes, he could sleep for half the day without waking up.
Two, planting medicinal herbs. After sleeping, he would use the remaining half of the day to plant small grasses, and touch the young flowers.
Three, eating flowers. Though this step required very little time, he had to use more time beforehand to cook me meals. So you can imagine that because of this, I still took up one-third of the space in yifu’s heart.
With a brush in my mouth, I pondered a bit.
After writing these things down in the regular script[1],  I folded the Xuan paper[2] into three sections before stuffing it into a small box beneath my bed. It was almost half full of my little paper strips from daily calligraphy practice.
How dull…
I gave a long sigh before lying on my desk, hanging my head.
This was still a boy’s robe, light purple in hue. The cool material, when worn in summer, made the skin felt refreshing and comfortable all over. This had to be made from high-quality fabric, yifu often wore clothes from these fabrics too.
But…
Why was it another male garment, and why was it the wrong size.
Kneeling on the chair, one hand propping myself up, I lifted the robes with one hand as I grabbed a bronze mirror off the wall, peering at my reflection.
Eyes were eyes, nose was nose, as I tugged the hairs atop my head and pulled them forward with narrowed eyes and measured…hn, it was so so withered and sallow.
But after being nursed back to health these days, my face was rounder and more mellow, just that my skin was still as dark as before.
When I used to be a beggar, there were no way to take baths, so everyone was dirty and it wasn’t a big deal…but now that I lived with Fang Hua, who exuded a fragrant aroma everyday, and had skin like a pool of frost and snow, I couldn’t help but feel inferior in contrast.
Actually, it wasn’t such a big deal, it’s just that he was as beautiful as a girl.
Whereas I was dirty like a boy…except I didn’t know why, no matter how I rubbed myself down with a damp towel.
From head to toe I simply couldn’t get clean, and if I lowered my head to sniff myeslf…
There was still some type of odor.
Could it be I was just paranoid?
“Shao’er…” the pile of bedding next to me moved a bit.
I continued to pinch the skin atop my arm, spacing out a bit as I polished myself up.
“Shao’er, give me a drink of water.” A head full of messy hair poked out of the bedcovers, following by a form with an alluring posture, the pillow in disarray on one side. His eyelashes were exceedingly long, and trembled, while the bewitching cinnabar mark at the corner of an eye was a bit startling.
I nodded, and with a clap, fell down flat onto the ground.
As I raised my head to wave, an affectionate gaze from a pupil that shone like moonlight gave me a rather pitying look.
My heart thumped wildly.
I randomly rubbed my hand on my clothes, quickly poured a cup of water, and carried it over in both hands.
“No wonderful you’re so unrefined,” Fang Hua smiled, shaking his head in spite of himself. “Who would wipe their hand on their robes first, the new clothes are dirty again.”
“I don’t dare to do it again,” I honestly admitted my my mistakes, lazily raising an eye to look at him. “Next time I’ll definitely wipe my hand clean before touching my clothes.”
His air exhausted, he ignored me to drink his tea.
I carried over a small wooden stool and sat in front of him, both hands supporting my chin as I watched him like an idiot.
Strictly speaking, his postures while drinking the water were exceedingly beautiful, one hand holding it in his palm, the other using his sleeve to shield half his face, every gesture evoking the aura of a elite noble gentleman.
I studied his appearance and patterns until he looked sideways at me and spat in my face.
…in between the good feelings, surprise.
I gave him a look full of profound meaning.
He lowered his head and coughed, shoulders shaking uncontrollably.
“Yifu,” I used my sleeve to wipe my face, but after noticing his slant-eyed stare, consciously pulled out a small handkerchief from my robes, shaking it a few times before continuing to wipe….hn, a deep sigh, this was definitely water from him. There was a deep flowery fragrance floating in the water. I clicked my tongue and said, “Why do you always call me Shao’er.”
He seemed stupefied. “Did you have a name before?”
“No.”
He called me little ragamuffin, beggar, urchin, but these didn’t count as names…
“Then it’s correct,” he gave me an askance glance, before reclining to speak as a leisurely pace. “That hairclip you’re wearing at the back of your bun is just like those little hair ornaments, like the handle of a shao[3] (spoon). Don’t you think this name is pretty good?”
This time I was tired to the point of exhaustion. He suddenly smiled and gave me an embrace.
“Your name is Shao Hua.[4]”
He kept hugging me like this without moving, until I was crushed to a point where I couldn’t breathe. At that time, I looked up at him, only to see his eyes closed, lost in sleep.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh…….
I was furious.
This yifu resembled an Immortal, but after a while, you’d realize that besides those three things, he couldn’t take care of himself at all.
Finally on one day I received another new set of robes…this time it was even larger than last time, with the sleeves dragging on the ground…it drove me beyond the limits of patience.
“Yifu, these clothes are too big.”
“That’s what I told the boss too, but he said children grow very fast, so you can also wear this in the future.”
You didn’t need to buy me clothes for five years in advance…I cry…
“Yifu, could you not buy this style next time?”
He raised an eyebrow to stare at me.
I showed off my undeveloped chest, and firmly stared into his eyes as I spoke. “I’m a girl…”
He seemed to have half-understood. “So then?
…(blank).
There was no way to communicate.
I thought he was pretending to be stupid…later on I discovered he had no knowledge of women from the start.
This conclusion came three days after this incident.
I was holding back the whole way before running into the forest. Lowering my head, I rustled and undid my waistband, squatting down in a straddling position. After watering the flowers and grass, I stretched upwards, refreshed, and immediately came face-to-face with Fang Hua, whose eyes suddenly widened.
“Do you have an unmentionable disease somewhere?”
“Ah?”
“Why do you squat, wouldn’t you wet yourself that way?”
“Yifu, I’d only wet myself if I stood to do it.”
“How could this be…let me take a look for you.”
After speaking, he seriously made a move to lift up my robes.
I gave a start, feeling anything but reassured, and stopped talking to turn away and flee.
However…I forgot the most important thing.
He had neigong[5].
My shoulders ached. A rock dropped down, bounced a few times, and fell beneath my feet. In that moment my entire body turned stiff and I fell over, unable to move.
I only felt a pair of hands lift me up by the waistband, tug down my trousers and…
Inside, I was weeping.
He really did inspect things before touching my shoulders with his fingers to unseal my passageways.
I escaped his clutches as soon as I hit the ground.
But he moved over, sympathy flooding in his eyes. “When did you castrate yourself?”
I remained sullen.
Seeing that I wouldn’t answer, he nodded understandingly and walked away, quietly speaking to himself. “So these are the enunchs I’ve read about in books…they really are a little different from ordinary people.”
“All of them are missing that thing.”
I was stunned until my anger made my whole body tremble.
For Mother’s sake, was he done humiliating people yet.