When I first arrived, I was as tall as his knees, but now my height reached his shoulders. Still, he looked as same as the first time I laid eyes on him.
JUNE 26, 2016RUYI
Chapter 16: Confronting Yifu
Han Zichuan really was a good man who didnât fight with a woman.
No matter how I made fun of him, he still kept his eyes downcast. When I moved closer to take a look, he actually turned his face away to speak. âYou⊠âŠkeep your distance from me.â
âChe, itâs not like Iâll miss out on much,â I gave him a side glance, before stooping over to pull up a patch of grass. âTeasing you is a lot less fun than yifu.â
He seemed stunned. I brushed aside my sleeves and messily gathered up my damp hair, holding it in place with my red wood hairpin.
âFang Hua really didnât raise you as a girl these past ten years?â Han Zichuan suddenly blurted out.
The sunlight just then happened to get in my eyes, and I squinted when I turned to look at him. He stared back blankly, as if the sight dazed him. After a long time, he finally teared his eyes from my face to rest above my head.
âYour yifu is a Fang Hua BeastâŠright?â
Not wanting to reply, my lips pursed as I glanced at him and resumed walking away.
He followed behind me without a word. The two of us walked softly, one in front of the other, the silence occasionally broken by the sound of falling leaves. When his voice rose again, it was as bright and clear as jade. âFang Hua withdrew from the world to live here. Heâs used to living quietly by himself, and yet he took you in as his adopted son.â
The wind blew gently, carrying along the sweet, indistinct fragrance of flowers and a unique scent that smelled like medicine to settle in my very bones.
âHe treats you extremely wellâŠâ Han Zichuanâs voice paused. âHe even gifted you with a Fang Hua Wood.â
This particular sentence piqued my interest and I stopped, gazing at him out of the corner of my eyes. He was fixated on the hairpin in my hair, standing still beneath the willow trees as if turned to stone. There was still a soft, mild smile on his face, and an excited, if hesitant, expression in his eyes.
His current face and bearing felt a little odd to me, but I couldnât tell where it was wrong. I hesitated, then touched the hairpin, only to see his eyes light up. My heart started to pound, and I withdrew my hand. ââŠthis hairpin was made from Fang Hua Wood? Is it very important to my yifu?â
He replied, âYou can ask him.â
âYouâve seen Fang Hua wood before, right?â I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to guess from his expression. âI wear this hairpin everyday, so why tell me this now?â
His face looked as if it wanted to smile, but the smile was a pained one. âFang Hua Wood is an exceedingly precious thing that can nullify hundreds of poisons. There are always people searching for it, and Iâve had the luck to seen one in the past as well. But the one you have now is a little different. Iâm only guessing so I canât be sure, but the changes in your body today are probably related to this wood. Thatâs what finally convinced me.â
My heart stopped.
He just clasped his hands[1]. âIâm a bit tired, so Iâm going to go on ahead.â He seemed as if he was frightened about something.
Che, this personâŠwhatâs his problem?
His moods shifted quicker than a person turning the pages of a book. Before long, heâd already disappeared without a trace. I stood there looking around for a bit before leisurely walking back to the house. I closed the door, pulled out my hairpin, and examined it closely in my hand.
My head bent down as I got even closer to take a sniff, but it wasnât as the same fragrance as Iâd smelled before.
Was this really Fang Hua Wood? It didnât look much different from regular mahogany wood. It felt warm as I grasped it in my handsâŠ
From the expression on Han Zichuanâs face just now, it was easy to tell that he had been hiding something. AishâŠwhat could it be? I sucked in another breath and placed the hairpin on a low table. Absentmindedly, my eyes caught sight of my bronze mirror and my heart stopped. I paused for a second and slowly walked over, a feeling of impatience in my heart.
To tell you the truth, itâd been a while. Besides knowing my skin was now a little whiter, I had no idea what I looked like. The reflection given off by the bronze mirror was blurry and pale yellow, but as I came closer, the imager grew clearer.
There stood a figure dressed in menâs robes. Despite this, the clothing couldnât hide the lithe and graceful curves of a womanâs figure, and the effect it gave off was a mixture of a manly, unrestrained spirit and a delicate, feminine air. It was an irresistibly dreamlike vision that made it hard for one to look away.
My forehead wrinkled.
Compared to before, I couldnât even measure how much better looking I was nowâŠ
Suddenly, a fine voice carried over from behind me.
âDid you get rid of the poison?â An extra voice rose out of the air, startling me.
Another figure appeared in the mirror to stand behind me. A cinnabar mark below the eye[2] framed a pair of beautiful pupils filled with feelings of tenderness.
âWhen did yifu open the door and come in? I didnât even realize.â
âNot so long ago. I kept thinking of you, so I came to take a look.â He grasped my shoulder and turned me around, smiling as I faced him.
His eyes were full of warmth.
We were so close that his breath tickled my cheeks, and the sensation made me a little restless. My heart started beating wildly, and I unconsciously took a few steps back, hand pressing against a low table until it brushed against something and knocked it to the ground with a noise.
âYikesâŠâ I lowered my head.
What fell down?
But he used his hands to raise my head, gently stroking my forehead as he peered at my face. I blinked. When he spoke again, it was in a tone that had never sounded so genial before, warmer than the spring breeze. âYou look just like your fatherâŠâ
AhâŠ
What was going on now?
Fang Hua knew my family, could it be thatâŠ
âYouâre familiar with my father?â
âThatâs a thing of the pastâŠâ he smiled gently, though it seemed a little anguished, his eyes still fixed on me. âBut I only remember him faintly now.â
He didnât say anything else, only stroking the hair that covered my face as he fell into silence. On the other hand, my heart kept on thumping like a drum.
So he really hadnât picked me up by coincidence to raise meâŠthat meeting at the dilapidated temple was done with conscious effort. In other words, he came looking for someone on purpose that day?
The human skeleton on the yellow soil tombâŠand the cloth I found in its robesâŠ
I suddenly opened my eyes wide, backing up a giant step until I hit the wooden table again. My eyebrows furrowed as a sharp pain hit my waist, bitter beyond words.
He pulled my hand with only a little bit of strength, and I tumbled into his arms. He smiled, and started petting my head like he would a childâs.
âItâs been so many years, but youâre still just like him. You canât be so muddleheaded. In the future, youâll have to start a family and get a job[3].â
Start a family and get a job?
Was that a jokeâŠ
Startled, I blurted out, âI canât do that.â
âWhy not?â the corners of his lips drew up.
Because, who ever heard of a woman starting a family and getting a job, or picking a wife?
âThink it over carefully, thereâs no rush.â He stroked my hair comfortingly, raising his slender eyebrows. The look in his eyes seemed to say, take you time to make up an excuseâŠthereâs no rushâŠ
Hmph.
I lowered my head and began. âItâs becauseââ my eyes darted in quick circles, ââI want to stay with Fang Hua for the rest of my life.â
As soon as I said it, I felt like biting off my tongue. I docilely lowered my head and stole a peek at him. This was my first time calling him Fang Hua.
He smiled, his entire face filled with gentleness. He didnât seem angry that I called him by his name, but seemed rather comfortable with the whole thing. The cinnabar mark by his eye resembled a teardrop, and he heaved a low sigh into the air. âWho can really stay by whose side⊠âŠ?â
I was surprised.
âAfter a few years, Shaoâer will become an adult. You are different from me. You canât always stay by my side.â Even though he sighed with feeling as he said these words, his next action was to embrace me. I closed my eyes and relaxed in the warm hug, surrounded by soft cloth as a fragrant aroma assaulted my nostrils. It was a sudden scent that made me look up at Fang Hua in a half-trance. Time really passed quicklyâŠ
When I first arrived, I was as tall as his knees, but now my height reached his shoulders. Still, he looked as same as the first time I laid eyes on him.
â
It really was a pity to just call him yifu.
The wind blew gently, rustling the paper windows. Faintly, one could hear the sound of Han Zichuan walking around outside, preparing to bring in the herbs that had been left to dry in the sun. Fang Hua gave an exclamation of surprise, staring at a point before releasing me and bending down. âAlthough you canât break something like thisâŠâ
He picked up the hairpin that had fallen to the floor and blew on it. âWhen you drop this next time, make sure I donât see it.â So speaking, he drew up his sleeves and carefully wiped the hairpin with the cloth. Then taking it in his hands, he prepared to do my hair for me.
I gave a start as I stared at the fiery red hairpin, thinking back to the beginning. I grabbed him by the hand and asked, âYifu, is there anything youâre not telling me?â
He stood stunned.
âI secretly drank half a jug of wine today.â
âNo? I dug up the cabbage[4] you planted in exchange for a chrysanthemum plant, because I thought that tasted better.â
â⊠âŠâ
Forgive me, but Iâm angry.
âYou know this isnât what Iâm asking about,â My eyes narrowed as they moved to the red wood hairpin. âA hairpin made from Fang Hua wood, and my fatherâŠeverything about all these things, I need to understand.â
He suddenly gave me a cold and melancholy smile.
-o-
[1]clasped his hands (äŸäșäŸæ) ïŒgong le gong shou, a motion where both hands are brought before the chest, one in the shape of a fist, the other clasped around it. A traditional way of greeting each other or saying farewells, usually accompanied by a bow.
[2]cinnabar marks below the eye (çŒè§äžçæ±ç ) ïŒyan jiao xia de zhu sha, thanks to how ambiguous Chinese can be, Iâm still debating whether Fang Hua has just one mark below one eye or both eyes. Until we find out otherwise, Iâll stick with just the oneâŠ.
[3]start a family and get a job (æ柶ç«äž) ïŒcheng jia li ye, is exactly what the English means, though in this case itâs heavily implied from a male perspective. A man should settle down with his own family and start his career so he can support them. It also implies he should get a wife as well.
[4]cabbage (çœè) ïŒbai cai, this would be Chinese cabbage, also known as Napa cabbage, white at the base and framed with light green leaves. Great in hotpots, by the way.