As he struggled to open his mouth and speak, Sethian, who was looking down, sat on the bed. He supported Yi-Gyeolâs head with one hand and brought the glass of water he was holding to his lips.
âDrink up.â
There was confusion as to why Sethian could touch him, but the water that came in front of him took priority. With the help of Sethian, Yi-Gyeol slowly drank water. It was only after the water got into his itchy throat that he realized he was thirsty.
Having drank the entire glass of water, Yi-Gyeol blinked slowly as he felt Sethianâs hand wiping the water around his lips.
âRight now, this⊠Is this a dreamâŠ?â
âNo.â
Sethian placed the empty water cup on the side table, and properly covered the slightly disheveled blanket up to Yi-Gyeolâs neck.
âThis doesnât make senseâŠ.â
Yi-Gyeol muttered as if he were still half asleep.
âWe met in the bathhouse and I came backâŠ, My dad brought me to the hospitalâŠ, No, I was talking to my momâŠ. What did we talk about again? UmmâŠ.â
Something was muddled up inside his mind. He tried to revive the memories by organizing them step by step as they come to mind. And one by one, the memories came back.
âDonât move and stay still! Do you want to collapse and go to the hospital again?!â
Itâs been a long time since his father yelled so loudly. It always seemed like he was putting up with something, but that day it seems that he couldnât do it anymore.
âI ruined the college entrance exam because of you Oppa. You broke the rhythm of my review the day before the test, and it was already past midnight when I came back from the hospital. Even then, I tried to hurry to see even one more letter, but what can I do when I took the test in the worst condition?!â
âYou may as well be useless, but you shouldnât be a hindrance. Are you trying to keep me from going to college? Do you hate it that much? Huh? Are you trying to make me not go because Oppa was stuck here even though you got accepted into a good university?â
âWhy are you trying to ruin my life just because your life is ruined?!â
âDo well? Yeah, I wouldâve done well if it werenât for you, Oppa.â
He was going to give her some encouragement, but that ended up ruining his sister.
âSo why do you have to ruin the kidâs exam by doing something youâve never done before? Do you know how angry your Dad was?â
âEven though you canât encourage your sister to do well on her exams, you shouldnât have interrupted her. You didnât do that on purpose just because you couldnât go to college, did you? Or was it because you wanted attention since your mom and dad havenât been paying attention to you lately?â
âEveryone is having a hard time because of you. If you canât be healthy, then please just quietly stay still, Yi-Gyeol-ah.â
Everyone says theyâre having a hard time because of him. Itâs difficult because thereâs him.
Because heâs a baggage. Because heâs a nuisance. Because heâs just a useless person who only wastes money and rice.
He was the problem.
To his family, he was nothing more than a pest.
His vision shook and tears welled up his eyes. When he remembered how he closed his eyes at the end of reality, he felt so unfair and sad that he could not bear it.
His heart was pounding and his head was throbbing. His breathing became so heavy that he couldnât cope up with it. He felt blood rushing to his head.
âWu, wuuhâŠ.â
âJoo Yi-Gyeol.â
He could hear Sethian calling next to him, but the only thing in his head was the resentful voices of his family and their faces mixed with criticism.
He wanted to die.
He was so afraid of dying, but he still wanted to die.
Why is he alive? If he had died as it was, he wouldnât have had to think about it again. He wished all the memories of being despised by his family would disappear.
Tears completely covered his vision. Uncontrollable tears flowed down like crazy.
Then, someoneâs face came into that blurry view. He couldnât tell because it was blurry, but he seemed to know who it was.
âSethâŠ. HicâŠ.â
âThatâs right.â
Sethian wiped Yi-Gyeolâs eyes with his thumb. Tears filled with warmth flowed continuously. Each time, Sethian also wiped away his tears tirelessly.
âIâŠ, I tried to kill myselfâŠ.â
At Yi-Gyeolâs words, Sethianâs hand stopped into a halt.
âI donât think I can endure any longerâŠ. So I tried to kill myselfâŠ.â
ââŠ.â
âI wanted to say goodbye to you right before I diedâŠ, I closed my eyes hoping for that⊠I met you butâŠ.â
âWho said you could die as you please?â
Sethianâs hands wrapped around Yi-Gyeolâs face. Yi-Gyeolâs cheeks, wrapped in two large hands, were excessively hot.
âNow you canât die even if you want to.â
Sethianâs face came close. His forehead touched lightly with Yi-Gyeolâs.
âIâm the owner of your body. You canât die without my permission.â
Yi-Gyeol was just shedding tears despite Sethianâs mysterious words.
âââââââ
Sethian looked down at Yi-Gyeol, who wept for a long time and fell asleep again.
âI donât think I can endure any longerâŠ. So I tried to kill myselfâŠ.â
Thinking about what Yi-Gyeol had said, Sethianâs insides suddenly felt stuffy and his head heated up in fury. What the hell kind of treatment did he get for him to cry like that and even committed suicide?
âThe guy who was so afraid of dying.â
He was guessing that Yi-Gyeol was even contemplating suicide. But he didnât think heâd really do it.
If Yi-Gyeol hadnât come to see him at that moment, he might have really died. Even now, he gets a chilling sensation when he remembers the feeling of Yi-Gyeolâs faint presence gradually shattering. It doesnât feel good to think that it was Yi-Gyeolâs soul dying.
It wasnât really surprising that his family had driven Yi-Gyeol to death. He too had been threatened with assassination by his brothers from an early age until now, and his father, the emperor, neglected it even though he knew it from early on. He did not pay any attention to it, saying, âHe has to get through it himself.â
Family was nothing short of strangers. On the contrary, they were even more vicious than others.
It would be better to just forget about such people.
Sethian looked down at Yi-Gyeolâs sleeping face for a long time.
âââââââ
It was the next morning when Yi-Gyeol woke up again.
âThis, did you use something like magic?â
In the meantime, Sethian, who ordered Lenox to bring a bowl of warm porridge, was quietly admiring Yi-Gyeol, who was rolling his eyes carefully around.
âSeth?â
He called his name with a slight frown. Sethian sat down on the bed and gave him the answer he was looking for.
âThatâs right. Based on your soul, we created a body identical to your original body. Donât worry, I didnât duplicate it upto the disease that you used to have.â
Sethian pulled the duvet over the surprised Yi-Gyeolâs shoulder. Perhaps because it was a body with only bones, Sethian keeps thinking that the part looked too dangerous if it sticks out of the blanket even a little. In the meantime, he saw Yi-Gyeol biting his lower lips with a gloomy face.
âBecause of meâŠ.â
His face grew darker.
âIs it a habit?â
Sethianâs words penetrated Yi-Gyeolâs ears.
âThinking that everything is because of you.â
ââŠ.â
Yi-Gyeol couldnât say it wasnât a habit. Sethian expected that Yi-Gyeolâs habit of talking was due to the experiences he had while he was ill and the environment around him.
âItâs not because of you. I did it because I wanted to.â
Yi-Gyeolâs shaking eyes looked at Sethian.
âWhy? You said that magic requires such a price. If itâs magic that can even create a body, wouldnât that magic require tremendously?â
The reason why he kept blaming himself was because of the âcostâ required for the magic.
In fact, the cost of composing Yi-Gyeolâs body was actually one of the greatest among the âcosts of magicâ.
Vitality, in other words, life expectancy.
Magic that requires vitality as payment is by no means common. Thatâs why such magic was designated as âGolden Arts(çŠèĄ)â [1] .
The fortunate thing is that humans in this world have a three to four times lifespan difference longer than the world where Yi-Gyeol came from and giving vitality once is actually only a few hoursâ worth of lifespan.
However, if he told this to Yi-Gyeol, he would definitely be disappointed again. Sethianâs sure heâll say something like heâs a burden or a nuisance. Thatâs why he decided to just say âvitalityâ and not âlifespanâ.
âAll you need to maintain your body is my vitality. Itâs not a huge price.â
âHoweverâŠ.â
âMoreover, why do you think I saved you by creating a body like this?â
Yi-Gyeol kept his mouth shut and looked up at Sethian. Looking into his sharp eyes, it didnât seem like there was a comfortable reason such as âbecause weâre friendsâ.
As if to represent his thoughts, Sethian answered first.
âI saved you to use you.â
TL Notes:
(çŠèĄ): âKinjutsu, literal meaning: Forbidden Arts or Techniquesâ according to my research, but I will keep using Golden Arts to align it with my translation. Though I really donât like the way he words it, what Yi-Gyeol really needs at the moment is a reason for living. And Seth telling that he has a use for him could very well be the reason. Also, look how caring Seth isâŠomg. He cares for YG in his own way and itâs kinda sweet.