Volume 2 Chapter 5.1

Chapter 5.1

Translator: Einbedo

Editor: Weasalopes

「Don’t mean to come off as picky but…」

「But?」

「All these food items they’re offensive to the eye.」

「Oh that.」

Everyone silently nodded in agreement, not having much to add to Tatsuya’s observation. They were sinking their teeth into some beefy-legged salmon – a type of salmon characterized by their muscular legs which were sturdy enough to run up entire cliffs had the need arised, thus the name. Taking this factor into consideration it was hardly surprising why no one felt it necessary to raise their voices in objection.

While there was a real life equivalent of salmon that most are familiar with they were currently out of season, the beefy-legged salmon, on the other hand, were conveniently in-season. There were still around two weeks of time before the run kicked into full gear but some impatient early starters that wanted to get ahead of the curve had already put on their running shoes

「Wouldn’t you find it a tad bit off putting if the salmon in your rice ball looked like, whatever this is supposed to be?」

「I means ya gots beefy-armed salmon runnin’ amuck which means they ain’t some freak accident so how ’bout ya cut them some slack, eh?」

「First of all why is it that different body part variations even exist to begin with? Clearly whatever evolutionary purpose they were meant to serve would have been carried out more efficiently with a full set of limbs, kind of like a gill-man.」

「Now that you mention it, that is odd, isn’t it?」

Makoto concurred with Tatsuya’s astute observation. If they had just went down the gill-man route it would’ve been a lot easier to maintain suspension of disbelief then when they’re so bizarrely incoherent on a fundamental level.

「Gill-man, you say?」

「What about it?」

「Do you think they’d taste good?」

「First of all no, second of all why’s that the very first question to pop up in your mind?」

「Before we buckle down ta discussin’ that I thinks it’d be worthwhile ta ponder the moral dilemma if it was to hypothetically be consider a humanoid.」

Hiroshi voiced his concern just as the conversation on whether or not gill-man meat would taste good began picking up steam. Makoto and Tatsuya began pondering on the matter.

「That’s a good question.」

「Well if it could convey its will with words it’d be a humanoid, if it acted blindly on feral instinct alone then it’d be a monster, or something along those lines?」

「That sounds like a good startin’ point although I thinks you’re forgettin’ that even some monsters are technically considered humanoid.」

「Well if we were to extend our definition of humanoid to include goblins and the ilk there’d be a high chance that they’d get labelled as such.」

The group took this abstract food for thought and completely gorged on it. A more down to earth person would only begin to worry about such philosophical conundrums once the necessity arose but they were anything but.

「I’m starting to think that maybe there are too many unaccountable variables to reach a conclusion on this one without seeing the real thing in action.」

「Sounds about right.」

Their heated discussion ended with a very obvious realization. The only consensus they did manage to gather is that if it did turn out to be a monster they’d definitely be all over that meat.

「Now, back to the matter at hand.」

「Hmm?」

「I think it’d be a really nice change in pace to come across produce that’s just normal in every sense of the word and is not in any way going to self-destruct when cooked improperly or is not a beefed up fish but only in parts. What do you all think?」

「It’s a fantasy setting, anything goes.」

Haruna blurted out a remark that would make any fantasy writer worth their salt turn in their grave.

「Haruna, If I could just say one thing.」

「Yes? What is it?」

「Just because it’s fantasy doesn’t give it the right to have no internal logical coherence」

「I mean, what other explanation do you propose?」

At that moment Tatsuya had to restrain himself from repeating the same point he had made but louder and in a more fed-up tone. Fantasy settings as a whole, across all mediums, didn’t exactly go around making up all kinds of in-universe edibles instead opting to use whatever was native to earth. The farthest they’d possibly go would be counting dragon meat as an edible but under no circumstances would a root lotus that posed a serious life threat, if one was to rub it the wrong way, ever exist.

「This has been on my mind for quite some time now but how exactly are you all okay with oh so casually digging in on food made from fluorescent green vegetables without a single care in the world?」

「Oh, that? We got used to that kind of thing in about a month’s time.」

「Ya and Mio might not be aware but summer’s in-season produce is, for the most part, not for the faint of heart.」

「So that’s why Makoto didn’t find any of this off-putting, huh?」

「Something like that.」

Tatsuya and Mio got sucked just in time for September – a time where mostly produce native to earth are in-season. That’s why they didn’t get the chance to get familiar with all those fever-dream like veggies and fruits, meanwhile the others were ‘fortunate’ enough to reach Wull’s in midsummer – a time where rusted up metallic cabbage-like things and veiny, beefy-looking watermelons were at their peak freshness. Although prevent rot could keep out of season produce fresh it could only go so far and that’s why the city market was, as expected, mostly dealing in in-season produce and the occasional cereal. Without implementing these into one’s diet there was only so much variety an average meal course could have, not to mention that food expenses would also go up significantly.

That’s why Hiroshi and Haruna decided that it was about time to get over their fears and simply started trying every single one of them out left and right. This little habit has stuck with them to this day, what with them trying their luck at serving whatever they can get their hands on. As for Makoto she managed to throw away any pickiness she had left in her by the time she got with Haruna by haphazardously trying out everything that was put in front of her in a Russian roulette fashion. Due to a personality quirk of hers Makoto was always hell-bent on cleaning out her plate, no matter the cost and well, the rest is history.

Because the two never had to go through such excruciating pains to get a bite to eat and due to the fact that they had professional cooks making meals for them, neither Tatsuya nor Mio were ever in a position where they had to step out of their taste comfort zone. In Mio’s case she at least had the whole food taster and cooking thing going for her meanwhile Tatsuya, who didn’t engage in either, never even really had a chance to lay eyes on any of that bizzaro produce.

In a sense him grumbling about this was indicative of his privileged position.

「Ya can get wyvern meat down ya throat just fain but the moment some slightly ominous looking veggie hits the table ya suddenly lose it now?」

「Wyverns are staple fantasy creatures, rock boar meat wasn’t offensive to the eye.」

「If you’re going to be bringing up the fantasy card whenever it’s convenient for you what’s stopping us from doing the same?」

They grinned upon hearing Haruna’s retort. She wasn’t off by any means, after all, who’s going to argue that say some brightly colored tuft of grass doesn’t fall in line with the spirit of fantasy? What they are likely to get hung up on is using that grass as an edible, that’s not really a thing in most fantasy settings.

「Tatsuya I think it’d be a wiser move to just accept things as they are.」

「Guess so.」

「That being said I do think it’d be a nice change in pace if the ingredients we happen to come across were pleasantly surprising like maitake or bok choy back home for once instead of the, well, usual.」

Makoto voiced her nostalgic memories of some of the ingredients that were once unavailable in Japan which became widely accessible after advances in agricultural and transportation technologies.

「I don’t think that’s as a far cry as you might think.」

「Darl and Forre might have what you’re looking for.」

「That’s one heck of a distance we’d have to cover…」

Tatsuya said with a thousand yard stare, directed at nothing in particular. The elf village’s produce was, for the most part, completely normal, although the few bad apples stuck out like a sore thumb in Tatsuya’s eyes who’s suspension of disbelief wasn’t as developed as the rest quite yet.

「Enuff with alla this food talk, we have better things to be worryin’ about.」

「Not like complaining’s gonna get me anywhere, I suppose. Fine, I’ll drop the issue.」

Tatsuya begrudgingly dropped the issue. Hiroshi wasn’t exactly known for being this direct but when it came to more urgent matters it’s as though he’d switch into responsible hero mode.

「How’re things movin’ along on ya’lls end?」

「Well we’ve managed to clear out all the hunter trees from spots where they might cause some real damage.」

「That and we’ve frozen any man eater roots we could find through good old manual labor, except the ones blocking off the entrance to the temple.」

「Sounds like you’ve been makin’ progress.」

Tatsuya and Mio travelled all the way from the elf village to the goblin, forest giant and fairy villages and cleared out any hunter trees along the way that might’ve posed a threat to passing by villagers. Forest giants had a high chance of escaping with their lives in tact but goblins and fairies, due to their smallish stature, were particularly vulnerable to not only hunter trees but man eaters as well.

Any other animal type monster they just left to be. For one it would take an unreasonable amount of time to thin out all of their numbers not to mention the potentially devastating impact this might have on the local ecosystem.

「And how are things on your end?」

「It be nearin’ completion, so long as everythin’ goes accordin’ to plan those things’ll be wiped clean off the face of the earth.」

「Well aren’t you making strides. When are we be going to be carrying out this plan of yours?」

「If everythin’ goes smoothly tomorrow mornin’. There’s no guarantee that’ll be the end of it though, so you’d better prepare for the worst.」

They nodded in affirmation. Whether it’s a game or a story events like this never just end peacefully, there’s always a catch. While there weren’t any tangible signs of it being a part of some bigger conspiracy it was a stretch to believe that it just occurred naturally without any underlying cause.

「If we’re going to be preparing for the worst what kind of worst do you have in mind? Personally I don’t think we’re walking into any sort of scheme, so we can comfortably cross that one off.」

「Based on experience I’d say there’s a good likelihood we might walk into a forest dungeon.」

「Mind elaborating?」

「Don’t you find it odd how eerily peaceful it is despite the man eater infestation?」

Hiroshi and Haruna latched on to the argument and began solemnly nodding. It was rather odd how that many carnivorous plants managed to maintain their numbers for close to thirty years at this point without completely impregnating the environment with their miasma. From what Hiroshi and Mio had gathered, the local feng shui wasn’t in line with the path to the temple, which meant that the miasma exuded by the man eaters was being used for something other than contaminating the feng shui.

「Now that ya mention it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if the path just spontaneously lead into a dungeon, all the building blocks are there.」

「That’s why I’ll need you and Mio to think of an escape plan in case things do go south.」

「Aye, will do.」

「Roger.」

The two decided to put their trust in Makoto’s assessment. Even if it proved to be off the mark it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

「Well then, I suppose we better get back to business. Me and Makoto will be scouting out the area, Hiro’s gonna be busy with his thing and Haruna and Mio are… What are you two going to be doing?」

「I’ll prep for a dungeon run.」

「I guess I’ll help out with the farm work.」

「That settles that then.」

They nodded in agreement and began going their own ways. If everything went as planned their five day stay at the elf village was about to come to an end.