Volume 2 Chapter 3.2

Chapter 3.2

「Why me of all people…」

Muttered Hiroshi as he desperately tried to wash away the dirt that had gotten all over his hair. Just recently Hiroshi had gotten pinned down face-first by Artiem’s breasts, a sensation which, having lost all composure at the moment, he had failed to properly take in. Even though all the blame lay squarely on the girl’s shoulders, if he had done anything funny at that time, especially considering the two barely knew one another, it would have ended in disaster for him. Compared to the anxiety of accidentally messing up the impact from the fall was nothing.

If Tatsuya was in his shoes he would’ve probably gotten back right on his feet and acted as though nothing had happened. If it was Layotte he wouldn’t have even batted an eye. If it was Avin he would’ve seized the moment only to shift back into his natural state right after. The most universally laugh worthy reaction would come from Mark, who’s just destined for this kind of thing.

「It still won’t come off.」

Trying to wash out solidified dirt that’s stuck to one’s scalp is a laborious task. Capillary motion might be at play here, because it’s not giving in easily. It also happens that they’re out of shampoo and how ironic is it that he had been planning on preparing some today. After rinsing it for three whole times the water had finally stopped showing traces of dirt particles.

And this is with short hair, Layotte must be spending more than a fair amount of time on caring for his long hair, although Hiroshi immediately regretted his thoughts going in that direction. Because at that very moment he could sense the presence of a girl he had gotten to fully know in three days closing in on the bath.

「Ooh?」

Although he couldn’t see clearly through the steam there was no doubt she was heading in his direction.

「Compared to the dressin’ room this place is awfully spacious, ain’t it?」

The bad feeling Hiroshi had only got stronger by the second. This was his first time at a public bath since these past few days he got to use Alte Ortem’s bath. As such, he was completely clueless as to how public baths work. This one in particular came to be from a complete coincidence, when hot water was stumbled upon in the process of digging down for a well. Basically it’s a hot spring with a freely flowing water source. A Pomey was gently floating along the surface of a basin. As a side note it was the returning Farlane elves who spread bathing culture among other elves. Up until then there was no bathing custom around.

Being a fairly unknown spot, mixed bathing is a common occurrence in this hot spring and that understanding only made the bad feeling grow worse. Not to mention that Artiem had been handed out some questionable information by the elderly workshop head. To add insult to injury, before entering the building, Artiem had went over to a nearby persons house to borrow a change of clothing and because of that she had yet to be informed of proper bathing procedure. As she faded into the distance Hiroshi pondered whether or not the average elf’s clothing would actually fit her, particularly around the breast area, but he figured that holding out till she got her stuff back would be easy enough so he didn’t think much of it.

As Hiroshi hastily refocuses his derailing thoughts an outcome comes to mind, and that outcome leads to a single conclusion.

「Was it a setup?」

There was no other feasible answer. The majority of village elves were no different from regular old village folk at heart, except that they had a thing for pranks of a lewd nature. That meant that it wasn’t too much of a stretch to assume that they’d pull something like this.

Since there were next to no boys around her age growing up Artiem shouldn’t be used to this kind of thing and very self-conscious about her body because of that. Back when Hiroshi rescued her she was awkwardly covering up her chest, but that was more because an area that is usually covered up had been exposed through tearing and not because she was afraid of being seen in the nude, those two things are similar but different.

Although it was possible that these village elves weren’t raised in an environment where this kind of thing mattered and it still wouldn’t have changed the fact that it was a matter of life or death for Hiroshi.

「I’d be better off getting out while I still can.」

The long awaited outing to the hot springs would have to wait as Hiroshi knew he wouldn’t have been able to fully enjoy it in his current state anyways. Judging from Artiem’s personality it was unlikely she’d use this experience as teasing fodder, despite being the one to barge in in the first place, but if this was to get picked up by either Haruna, Makoto or Mio things would get out of hand quickly. In these situations it’s almost always the guys who gets blamed even though, in reality, the victim here would be Hiroshi.

「The dirt came off already, time for a tactical retrea-」

Hiroshi washes himself one more time just to be safe and just as he begins poking around for Artiem’s presence.

「Are you ready to go?」

「What in the blazes!?」

Artiem’s voice came from much closer than Hiroshi had anticipated, startling him. He thought that since she had to go around it’d take more time to get there but those calculations proved to be completely off and he got caught completely defenseless.

How was Artiem able to get there that quickly? The answer is simple, there’s a secret door in the very corner of the dressing room that only ladies are able to interact with. Artiem had used this to her advantage.

「A-Artiem, shouldn’t ya be o’er at the wihmen’s bathroom?」

Asks Hiroshi while turning his entire body away from Artiem in an attempt to slowly slither away towards the dressing room. Since he got approached from the back Hiroshi is yet to lay eyes on Artiem’s gorgeous naked body.

「This is a mixed bath.」

「Y-you don’t say…」

That reaffirmation drove Hiroshi further down the pits of agony. If only he knew that there was another public bathhouse around with separate male and female baths all of this could’ve been avoided but how could he have if he didn’t even know of the existence of any hot springs in the area, let alone any specific ones. He was doomed from the very outset.

「Aren’t you going to be bathing? Time wise you should’ve just barely finished washing up by now.」

「I’ll get around to it sometime later, preferably when no one’s around.」

「What if you catch a cold?」

「I can handle miself just fine, if anything, ya should be the one in there right aboot now.」

「What’s the big deal? Let’s just go together.」

Hardly surprising but Artiem’s feeling little to no shame from this whole ordeal, so little in fact that she’s comfortable enough to expose that voluptuous body of hers without so much as a tinge of embarrassment.

「It’s a Farlanian custom not to be enterin’ the bath t’gether unless married or otherwise engaged in a serious relationship.」

「Is that so?」

「Aye, just you try enterin’ the bath like that in a human city in yer birthday suit and you’ll be easy pickins for any starved male.」

「I see. I’ll be sure to watch out.」

She says as she casually waltzes on over to the faucet in the least wary matter possible. Has she still not put two and two together or does she think this warning only applies to human cities? Before any of that it’s highly possible, judging from her demeanor, that she’s yet to be taught about the birds and the bees and has no clue what being ‘easy pickins’ is even supposed to mean.

「You better be. Now, if you’ll excuse me.」

Artiem still hadn’t fully wrapped her head around Hiroshi’s warning but she seemed willing to let him off the hook on the basis of cultural differences. Just as Hiroshi began carrying out his escape plan, desperately making sure not to turn back, he picks up on the barely audible voices of Mio and Haruna with help from his keen ears. Those voices indicated that they were about to head to the bath.

All of Hiroshi’s worries will turn into reality if they walk in on him right now. Those worries are mostly centered around Mio, who’s completely ruthless when it comes to this kind of thing. Makoto’s just as bad as her but she’s currently out with Tatsuya on a mission to familiarize themselves with the locations of the forest giant, goblin and fairy villages but that doesn’t really make matters any better.

It happened just as Hiroshi was trying to hastily escape, realizing what a traumatic outcome had potentially awaited him in the near future.

「Ah-」

Artiem slips and crashes right into Hiroshi’s back. What’s worse is that she somehow, in a physics defying matter, managed to make a one eighty turn midair and now her breasts were squashed against Hiroshi’s back.

「Eek!」

Hiroshi reflexively braced for impact and as a result he got to experience the full extent of Artiem’s tender breasts. Under most circumstances this would be something worth celebrating, after all, how often does one get the opportunity to come in contact with a naked lady’s body without fear of legal repercussions? Or at least that’s how it would work in an ideal world, in reality the guy would get the short end of the stick, regardless of circumstance. Due to Hiroshi’s condition he can’t just go with a ‘if I’m gonna do the time I may as well do the crime’ attitude and make the best out of the moment.

As a result he tried to forcefully shake off Artiem, the same girl he put up his social life at stake to rescue, and this realization induced a second wave of despondency to run over him.

「Woah!!!」

「Aaaa!」

Sudden movements on a slippery floor exponentially increase the risk of falling over, so it’s no real coincidence that they did, but they did not just simply fall as Artiem pulls yet another one of her physics defying parlor tricks, to which Hiroshi falls victim to once more.

「Ouch.」

Hiroshi smacked his head against the ground with a thundering sound as he turned to shake her off. Hiroshi was now squashed under Artiem’s body weight, except this time around they’re both buck naked. Excluding foggy early childhood memories this was the first time he had ever had his arms wrapped around a naked member of the opposite sex.

If this was a game or a manga it would have either panned to a different scene and allude to what went down afterwards or went straight into the nitty-gritty with detailed visuals and all that jazz. However the one in center stage is Hiroshi. Before he can even think of taking advantage of Artiem’s innocent nature he must first go toe to toe with his fight or flight response. This blocks out any urges he may have had at the moment and most certainly prevents him from acting on any of them.

「Eek!」

Hiroshi’s eyes finally come into contact with Artiem’s naked body, which he had been trying to desperately avoid staring at out of pure horror. Needless to say that plan failed and now that same body is squarely in front of him. All he could do was scream, and that scream marked the beginning of yet another unfortunate tragedy.

「What’s going on!?」

「Sensei, are you okay!?」

Mio and Haruna charge right into the men’s bath, which they had already gathered was a mixed bath based on the construction, without hesitation, since they couldn’t sense anyone else there beside those two, after hearing Hiroshi’s shriek.

「Eeeek!!」

Hiroshi’s shrieking intensifies upon the arrival of Haruna and Mio. By then Haruna had a good gist of what had just went down.

「Artiem, can you get on your feet?」

「Eh? Oh, I mean yes, I think.」

「Well, then, what are you waiting for? Get off of him!」

「Y-yes sir!」

Artiem, overwhelmed at the sight of a frantic Haruna, attempts to hurriedly get back up. This backfired, a common occurrence produced by panicking in any intense situation, as she tried to get up too quickly and ended up slipping in the opposite direction. Haruna tried to hold her up without realizing that she was actually next in line to fall prey to another one of her infamous magic acts.

「Woahwoahwoah!」

「Watch it!」

Due to the distance between them Haruna wasn’t able to completely stop Artiem’s fall. Luckily by pulling on her arm she did manage to prevent her from banging her head against the ground but the rest of her body laid flat across the ground. What she didn’t notice at the time was that Artiem’s other arm had tried to latch onto something.

Considering the circumstances there isn’t a whole lot to grab onto but Haruna hadn’t realized the fact and that was her downfall.

「Haru! The towel, the towel!!!」

「Eh?」

After hearing Mio screaming she looks down to her lower body and then to Hiroshi’s face. During that whole sequence her bath towel had slipped off to the ground, revealing a naked body where fleshiness and a tinge of elegance interlace, creating the perfect male-enchanting piece of art that, while enticing, at the same time carries an intimidating aura about it, flicking away all the weak-willed that would dare to approach it.

Despite not being interested in attracting the attention of males there was a striking lack of hair in places where one’d expect to see some, although that probably falls within the lines of personal grooming, more or less. The thing that makes it striking, however, is the contrast between her and Artiem, who was completely indifferent about such matters. Long blond hair, well-shaped, bountiful breasts supported by a back which, although maintaining a healthy appearance, in contrast looks like it could be snapped in half by applying a light amount of force. Their upper body lines had a certain motherly feel and a curvaceousness to them. It’s because the two are so similar that their slight differences are brought into prominence, or at least that was Mio’s impression.

Hiroshi didn’t have the time to be distressed about being seen in the nude by Haruna, because he had fainted with his eyes open after having seen all that good stuff which would usually mark the end of any man’s future social prospects.

「M-Mio! Put something on and get a man to help out!」

「G-Gotcha!」

Haruna barks out orders as she heavy handedly raises up Artiem back to her feet. Hiroshi’s condition was so dire there was no time to be feeling embarrassed over the whole ordeal. Mio, who understood the gravity of the situation, ran right out to find help in the village with only the bare essentials draped over herself upon hearing out Haruna’s instructions.

Luckily for them Artiem’s towel had conveniently landed right on top of Hiroshi’s crotch, concealing it and saving the girls from losing composure at its sight. If it hadn’t played out the way that it did, well, needless to say, the panic wouldn’t have died down as quickly as it did.

Haruna and Artiem make sure to put something on themselves in a great hurry before help arrives. Haruna made a mental note that Hiroshi and Artiem were, under no circumstances, ever to be left alone unattended.