âYour test wasnât a big deal, you know. Sometimes it got worse, but then you apologized as a formality. Usually when I say I like something, youâd ask for it. If I say I donât like someone, you will stick around and talk to them. It was such a stupid, childish thing to do.â
ââŚ. Valrose.â
âYouâre not apologizing for that, are you? Then what. For spying on Alice? For keeping an eye on Aaron? No, thatâs not something you need to apologize to me. Nocton, what do you want to apologize to me for? What do you want in return?â
He couldnât answer my words, but as if he was frustrated, Nocton came a step further with a frown.
I tried to take two steps back, but the railing hit my back.
The distance from Nocton has rather become closer. It seems that I have stepped back many more than I was conscious of.
And my heart, too, was farther away from Nocton than I was conscious of.
I never imagined it in my childhood. That there will be a day when Iâll feel uncomfortable just being in a same place as him.
I have never imagined that I would be afraid of Nocton, pity him, and feel distant.
But I didnât expect it, it wasnât the days that wonât come because I didnât want to.
Maybe it was supposed to be like this a long time ago. From the moment I mistook the role of Nocton Edgar.
In an unknown sense of loss, I grasped the railing right behind me.
Then, there was a strange sound came from the railing. As if it was cracked from the inside, it seemed to be broken anytime soon.
Seriously, it was bad construction?
I was taken aback by the railing.
âItâs dangerous, so move away from the railing.â
Nocton reached out, as if to pull me in.
In a series of unexpected moments, I was just looking at the approaching hand, with my body stiffened.
And the moment his fingertips touched my arm, the necklace shone and a white light splashed ferociously.
To exaggerate, it seemed like a little lightning bolt.
This ⌠is this attacking just by a touch?
Confused, I looked down at the necklace around my neck.
As if to show off that it had done such a thing a while ago, there was a white spark in the crystal.
It didnât mean any harm to my flesh, but ⌠Alice, what the hell did you give me!
I wanted to scream because it looked so loud that anyone could see it. I hope this is a quiet balcony, if itâs happened at the ballroom ⌠it was horrible just to imagine.
âWhat is this.â
What awakened my confused and helpless mind was a subdued voice.
Although he didnât look happy a little while ago, Nocton Edgarâs expression was as dark as that day in the drawing room now.
I once again recalled Aliceâs words not to provoke Nocton.
However, itâs absurd not to provoke him when I wore a necklace that sparked just by touch.
Even if it wasnât for the necklace, in the first place, I didnât know how to deal with Nocton Edgar in a gentle manner
Even if he did not raise his voice or speak sarcastically, sometimes he reacted wrongly.
Rather, the white necklace might have offended him.
Everyone is sensitive to pain.
It wasnât serious, but Noctonâs palms were a little redâŚ.
Thinking so, the way back was taken away.
The fear that was suppressed by other emotions raised itself with a single word.
Even that reminded me that our relationship has changed.
âI told you. I didnât spy on you, I will never spy on you.â
âWhy are you suddenly talking about it?â
âDid you think I would hurt you?â
Even if it didnât actually happen, he put a blade in Alice and Aaron, so thereâs no way I was going to be safe.
And itâs a very complacent idea to believe that the
Roa Valrose
will be safe, even if I recall the original story, which has become a little out of place.
Still, Nocton seemed deeply offended by my preparation.
Maybe he wants to be swayed by influence.
I wanted to be sarcastic, but I held it in.
Iâm wearing this necklace because Iâm afraid youâll hurt me.
It would be really provocative for anyone to say so.
âWhat is this? It is as you can see.â
âValrose.â
âItâs just a necklace on my neck that I paired with Aaron. I donât know why youâre overreacting.â
I canât stand it.
Even though I didnât intend it, words coming from my mouth sounded like a lot of mockery of Nocton.
I thought I hadnât adapted to fear, but at least my mouth seemed to have overcome the life-threatening crisis finely.
Noctonâs eyes were distorted.
He closed his eyes for a moment as if he were holding back his anger, then raised his eyelids back with a quivering breath.
Nevertheless, his eyes did not seem to have calmed at all.
ââŚ.yes, if it makes you comfortable, do as you please.â
The voice from his mouth was foreignly calm.
The voice aroused my anxiety, and the anxiety hastened to break the stillness.
I thought I had to say something, so I hastily opened my mouth.
âIâm doing as I please even if you donât tell me. You said youâre sorry, but you donât know what to apologize for, then Iâll ask you something else.â
I looked straight into Nocton Edgarâs eyes and asked.
âWhy are you doing this to me? I was a little better than your toy, no matter who saw it. Itâs not my imagination. As Lady Sheryl Bornaine said, there were many people who thought you were close to me because you felt sorry for me. But now that Iâm trying to end our relationship, you said that Iâm special and you will do whatever I want.â
âDoes that matter what other people think?â
âThen what do you think of me, Nocton? What do you think our relationship is?â
ââŚâ
âYeah, I knew you wouldnât tell. But Nocton, if you donât tell me that, you didnât expect me to take you seriously, did you? If youâre done talking, get out of here, or should I leave?â
Thatâs what I said. I wanted to walk past Nocton and get out of the balcony, but his expression was broken.
His chin was strained by a tight bite of his teeth.
When I saw him, I was forced to shrink back.
âValrose, what am I supposed to do? What do you want me to do? What the hell Alice Limorand told you, you wouldnât listen to me, no matter what I say. Iâll do what you want, Iâm asking you to tell me!â
For the first time today, Noctonâs voice rose.
On the dark night, the lotus eyes shone ferociously, like the eyes of a bird of prey.
I shrugged and shut my mouth.
The sound of my heart beating was loud.
Even if the fear is overwhelmed by other emotions, my heart beats again at a word, and even if I try to control my fear and say something, my lips tremble when the situation changes a little.
It was not a normal relationship, no matter what you think.
I couldnât even say we were friends.
Iâm already afraid of him, whether heâs trying to frighten me or not.
My self-confidence overflowed and I pushed out the shame.
Heâs like this. What did he say to me?
Donât make it obvious that youâre scared.
He said so.
âYou told me not to make it obvious that Iâm scared, how can I do that?â
A dejected laugh came out of me.
âIâm scared of you. Where youâre not around, I might think the same way. Youâre my childhood friend, and I can think Iâm not scared. I was surprised when you vomited blood. I was worried that you werenât feeling well. But Nocton, whatâs the use of all that?â
âWhat.âŚâ
âNow Iâm so scared at these moments, when I meet you, make eye contact, and have conversations with you.â
I covered my face with both hands and took a short breath. I felt a vivid trembling from the breath that touched my palm.
Scary. Iâm afraid.
I wanted to give up everything and run away.
âYou know, I canât act. Even if I brag and raise my pride in front of people I hate, how much is that. How can I hide that Iâm scared? My hands are shaking like this.â
I tried to remove the hand that covered my face, and I untied my necklace with my open hand.
The necklace that protected me for a moment from Noctonâs contact ascended onto the railing.
Throwing my only defense on my own, I reached out to Nocton.
His fingertips shook as soon in spite of the unexpected action, but I grabbed it without care.
I put Noctonâs hand on my neck.
To let the pulses sway through fear, dread, and anxiety.
I showed all my fears in protest against him who told me not to show that Iâm scared.
Nocton, who was startled enough, pulled out his hand.
His face, as he looked up, is white as if all the pigment had gone out.
What did you feel?
âIt doesnât matter what Alice said. The point is, whatever she said, Iâve come to doubt you.â
âThat, what do you mean.â
âIf you had told me the same thing about Alice, I would have trusted Alice. â
Alice, Iâm sorry, you told me so many times not to provoke him, but I donât know how to solve all this without provoking Nocton.
âI would have trusted Aaron even if you said dirty things about him. But when Alice or Aaron says something about you, I canât trust you, Nocton. How can I trust you? Thereâs no trust between us. You made it that way.â
His eyes trembled greatly.
The clearly agitated face make him looked like a wounded man.
âI donât know even now. Why did you bring me to your mansion, why did you have to play with me so much. What was that time, and what do you think of me the past years? Why are you ⌠now I really have no idea why youâre acting like this, Nocton.â
It was hard to look at his face, so I turned my head deliberately.
Beyond the railing, the crescent moon dimly floating in the distant sky. The outline was not clear, but it was enough to set my gaze.
âSo letâs stop. You canât tell me the reason and I donât want to hear it, because even if I hear the reason, we canât go back to the past.â
As my words continued, the wind blew strongly. The wind is strong enough to shake my body.
I grabbed the rail to support myself, and the railing collapsed from the inside.
I was so afraid of Nocton that I backed away, and the wind pushed my body back slowly against the railing.
My hand, who was in the air, grabbed the necklace that had been put on the railing.
However, the necklace, which protects my body from black magic, was of no use in this situation.
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With a firm grip on what I had grasped in my hand, I closed my eyes tightly.
My feet rose and my body almost fell over the railing.
And the next moment, a hard arm snatched my waist and pulled me back.
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T/N: THE SLOWBURN IS KILLING ME
anyway, what does everyone read these days? Iâm running out of stories to read, although these days I enjoy the manhwa of