CH 30

Ye Zhou certainly didn’t get drunk, but in the dim light inside that quiet dorm room, his squinting eyes were unknowingly admiring as he looked at the other gracefully drinking beer. It was really not intoxicated by alcohol, but intoxicated by a person. Unwittingly, his head became dizzy.

In such a relaxed moment, Ye Zhou unconsciously said something that he normally wouldn’t say: his dissatisfaction with Shang Jin.

Shang Jin put down the beer and examined Ye Zhou’s complexion, judging whether it was necessary to talk seriously to the other person. “Can’t hold your drink and still want to tell me how to drink?”

Ye Zhou slanted his mouth and glared at him, “That’s not what I meant.”

Shang Jin ignored him and continued to drink slowly.

“Shang Jin, you say, when you were born, did God not only help you to open the door and open the window, but also helped set you up with a pair of awesome wings?” Ye Zhou usually had enough words already. When he drank alcohol, the chatterbox became completely unacceptable. “Otherwise, when selling apples, how could you sell better than me?”

Shang Jin sneered and didn’t answer Ye Zhou’s question. Instead, he switched topics. “Did you really never get first place since childhood?”

After hearing from the forum last time that Ye Zhou was D City’s runner-up in the exams, Shang Jin specially checked the score of the top scorer, which was ten points worse than him. But for Ye Zhou to achieve this score in the whole country was already formidable enough. Although it was second place, but  this was also the first time Shang Jin had encountered someone who was able to grasp this result so accurately. Every time, it was only a little worse than the first place. As for Ye Zhou being deliberate, Shang Jin really didn’t see it. Otherwise, why would Ye Zhou treat him as an opponent every time, and once he found a gap, would want to surpass him? So it could be seen that he wasn’t deliberate…then that was unavoidably too pitiful.

“Isn’t it? I have been tied to the second place with an indestructible bond in this life. No matter what, I’ve been second: elementary school, junior high school, high school, college. What evil did I do in my past life that in this life, I’m unable to escape from the life of a second.” Once he said this, Ye Zhou became enraged. “The second”, Ye Zhou gestured with his finger and irreconcilably said, “What low-key life don’t need a reason? I really want to take first place. I don’t want second place. Isn’t this just not being able to surpass you?”

Some words had been buried in his heart for so many years, but he’d never being able to find the right person to tell. Now, sitting in front of Shang Jin whom he’d always regarded as his archenemy, Ye Zhou unconsciously put down his defense because Shang Jin understood him.

There was no need for Shang Jin to answer. Ye Zhou just wanted to vent his discontent and resentment that he had deliberately ignored in his heart. “Why does the world always pay attention to the first place? Should the second place be neglected? It’s not that my thoughts are inferior to the other person. Could it be because I’m a little worse than the other that all my efforts should be denied?”

Shang Jin had never experienced this feeling, and only simply said, “You drink less.”

Shang Jin’s words just fell and Ye Zhou, like a rebellious child, immediately opened a can of beer and drank a big mouthful. “I have a big brother. Like you, he’s very outstanding in all aspects, so my parents were due to think that I should be just as good as my brother. But where would the probability of being a genius be that high? I’m an ordinary person, and I have to work harder than a genius a hundred thousand times to just not be left behind by them. I thought that the results I’d achieved weren’t bad, but they didn’t even look at me properly…” Ye Zhou sighed, “Not once…if they could turn their heads even once…”

“Then isn’t it simple? I’ll give you the first place in this final exam.”

Ye Zhou, who was originally really drunk, immediately sobered when he heard this. His eyes were no longer confused and looked directly at Shang Jin without any emotion and asked, “Are you serious?”

Shang Jin shrugged and said indifferently, “The order has no meaning for me. I don’t see any difference between first and second. Since you value it so much, it’s good to give it to you.”

Ye Zhou picked up a beer can and finished the beer in one breath, and then placed it heavily on the table. The four weak legs of the bed desk quickly collapsed under Ye Zhou’s strength. Ye Zhou vigorously squeezed the can’s body. Soon, the beer can was squeezed into a deformed shape. Contrary to his movement, his voice was very light. “Shang Jin, I thought you knew me.”

Shang Jin’s heart suddenly sank, immediately realizing that he’d just said the wrong thing.

Without giving Shang Jin a chance to remediate, Ye Zhou continued, “Are you giving alms? What  you have at your fingertips made me strive for a lifetime. So you feel that I’m pitiful, sympathize with me and want to mercifully ‘let’ me have it once?”

“I told you that not to ask for something. What I want, I’ll rely on myself to strive for it.” Ye Zhou panted, brimming with anger. He’d always thought that Shang Jin understood him, so he took advantage of being tipsy to long-windedly heap out a big pile on him, never expecting that he’d exchanged it for the other’s sympathy. He, Ye Zhou, did he need sympathy?

Obviously from childhood, the phrase he’d heard the most discussed behind his back was “Ye Zhou is really pitiful. xx has been misbehaving this time, and he’s still second. Sometimes, I feel sorry for him. Can’t the teacher give him the first place once?” Before, he used to be able to laugh it off when he heard this sentence. But today, the one saying it had changed and Ye Zhou not only couldn’t laugh, but he also felt deeply insulted.

I take you as my opponent, but you pity me.

Ye Zhou couldn’t swallow this breath. He imitated Shang Jin’s horrid attitude and with a high and mighty appearance, disdainfully said, “In fact, I think you’re pathetic.”

The guilt in Shang Jin’s heart immediately dissipated. With a cold face, he asked, “I’m pathetic?”

“Isn’t it? You think that whatever you do, you can easily get good results, and everyone is envious of you?” Ye Zhou sneered, “Don’t need to work hard to get results, do you feel a sense of accomplishment with what you have in your hand? Are you happy in your heart? Your life is like a blank sheet of paper: even if ten years past or hundred years past, there’d also be nothing and no one that could leave a mark on your blank piece of paper.”

“That’s always better than you who’ve spent your whole life working toward a goal, going through untold hardships and being disappointed every time.” Shang Jin stood up and looked down at Ye Zhou, “I haven’t experienced happiness. You haven’t either. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have just told me that story.”

“Storytelling? Where was I telling stories? Obviously, I was telling a joke. I, Ye Zhou, am just a joke.” How else would he tear open his wound for the other to see? And in front of the one whom he least wanted to show his own ignorance? Ye Zhou mockingly laughed at himself. “Alcohol really isn’t a good thing. I drank too much. I’m going to wash up first.”

With a click, the bathroom door locked.

Shang Jin walked to the edge of the sink, dashed cold water on his face several times, and looked at himself in the mirror. The expression on his face was so strange. He patted his face and said to himself, “Really ugly.”