Editor: mako
Proofreader: jlycen
Suddenly, a familiar figure flashed by the corner of my eyes, like a long thorn piercing into the depth of my mind.
I stood up so abruptly that someone near me turned his head to look at me in surprise. However, his surprise couldn’t be greater than mine.
Lin Ming could be seen together with a man that was not He Li!
There was a voice in my heart shouting out to me. Pei JiYu, don’t go, don’t go. It’s not your business to care about whoever Lin Ming is with. I should mind my own business, mind my own business!
However, my legs seemed to have a mind of their own and walked towards their direction as I quietly followed behind them.
The two of them entered the elevator, and I took note of the floor they stopped on. As soon as the elevator came back down, I immediately followed after them.
At the very same time I strode out of the elevator, they decided to split up. The unfamiliar man instructed Lin Ming, “You should wait outside and don’t run around.”
His tone was very intimate, and I definitely didn’t misunderstand their relationship.
As soon as the man entered the ward, I immediately showed up and pulled Lin Ming to a secluded corner.
“You…” I opened my mouth to question, but ended up tongue-tied.
What qualifications did I have to question him?
It took Lin Ming a while to react. Seeing that it was me, he shrunk his shoulders and lowered his head. He seemed to want to retreat, but he didn’t dare to.
With such a pitiful appearance, the dryness in my throat disappeared.
I sighed and tried to make my voice as amiable as possible before saying to him, “You dare to be with other men behind He Li’s back? Do you still want to keep your life or not? He Li will kill you.”
Oh, I never thought that one day, I would say such words to Lin Ming, persuading him to return back to that man.
Nonetheless, as soon as such words were spoken, I immediately felt embarrassed.
However, Lin Ming lifted his head with eyes like a timid fawn. He opened his mouth and was about to speak, but said nothing, hesitating.
At last, he said softly, “He Li was the one who sent me away.”
I was taken aback.
“Recently, his temper has gotten worse, and he’s often drunk. Once, at a party, someone had asked for me, and he gave me away to that person.” Lin Ming’s voice was soft. “Mr. Pei, I think he’s looking for you. That day, when he was drunk, he hugged me and called your name. He seemed to be in pain while calling out to you in his dream, ‘Pei JiYu, come back, come back!’ He misses you so much, so why don’t you come back to him? He has also become so haggard because of you.”
I stared at him in bewilderment.
A shudder ran through my body, shaking my mind and body.
I pressed my lips tightly together and said to myself, “Pei JiYu, you should not dream again.”
You can’t trust that man anymore.
If you turn back, I will never ever forgive you.
Soon, Lin Ming left.
I was still standing in the corner in a daze.
A voice then shook me out from this real, yet illusory dream. In my line of sight was Chen ErXin’s furious face.
This face used to be so disagreeable, but now it was really cute.
When he saw me, Chen ErXin humphed and asked me, “Pei JiYu, why are you not running away anymore?”
Unsure whether to cry or laugh, I looked at him without bickering.
Frightened by my unusual expression and attitude, he faltered for a moment before softening his voice, and asked me, “Aren’t you going to see a friend?”
“He didn’t have time to see me,” I replied.
Chen ErXin looked at the chrysanthemums I was still holding in my hand. As half a day had already passed by, they have already started to wilt.
“You should change your temperament.”
Once again, he had assumed what had happened, as if he had seen me get driven out by my friend with his own eyes.
Chen ErXin’s self-imagined cleverness made me want to cry and laugh at the same time.
“I’m leaving,” I said.
But he won’t let me.
“Look at you,” he said with pity. “Just come with me.”
“Where to?” I wondered.
“To see my cousin. She’s on this floor.”
Without seeking my consent, he dragged me along with him.
On this floor, there were only special single-room wards that were fully equipped like those rooms in luxury hotels. Only those who were rich were able to stay on this floor.
“What’s wrong with your cousin?” I asked him casually, letting him pull me along.
“She accidentally miscarried.”
“Ah.” I halted.
Chen ErXin looked back at me. “What’s wrong with you now?”
I frowned at him. “Is she really your cousin?”
My tone was full of suspicion.
Maybe she was his secret lover that was hurt because of him.
It took Chen ErXin a moment to understand what I had assumed, and he couldn’t help but flare up. “Pei JiYu, why don’t you go on further and make an even more despicable guess?”
He proceeded to sigh again and said to me helplessly, “It’s really my cousin, and she’s in the process of divorcing her husband. It was when they were quarreling that the man shoved her to the ground and caused the miscarriage.”
Oh, I see.
I continued to ask him, “This is your cousin’s divorce, so why are you here to meddle? As an English law student, were you planning to come back to China to meddle in another’s business?”
“My cousin married into a criminal syndicate. Her parents are in England, unable to get away at this moment, so I was sent to support her first!”
Chen ErXin was a little speechless due to my words.
But at least there was no misunderstanding now.
Before entering his cousin’s room, Chen ErXin snatched the chrysanthemums from my hand and threw them into the garbage bin near the wall.
I glared at him. “What are you doing?”
“Are you planning to take chrysanthemums to visit my cousin?” He glared back at me.
After some thinking, I thought that what he said was reasonable, but I still couldn’t help but feel sorry, as I really liked that flower.
I looked at the bouquet of chrysanthemums in the garbage bin reluctantly. They were supposed to be a gift for myself.
I had only entered for a while, but I already regretted it.
Chen ErXin’s cousin looked no different from an ordinary abandoned wife. With a gloomy expression and dried tear stains, she grabbed onto Chen ErXin and cried sorrowfully, “Cousin, you must stand up for me.”
Tears rolled down like mermaid pearls <sup>1</sup> The author used “鲛珠” which refers to the myth that pearls were created whenever a mermaid weeps. , wetting both sides of her face.
I had initially followed Chen ErXin here for a diversion, but it had become a torment.
“How could he do this to me? I left my parents for him and crossed the sea from England to marry him. But he did this to me just for another person. He didn’t want me!” She then said with grief and indignation, “I lost everything for him, but he laughed at my lack of self-respect. How could he have done this to me!”
I suddenly couldn’t sit still. It felt as if a thousand silver needles were pricking me.
When I abruptly got up from my chair, the both of them looked back at me with their faces still stuck on the expressions they were playing out.
It was here that I jolted to a start with a back full of sweat.
I said, “I have something going on, so I have to go.”
I then proceeded to turn around and left.
Chasing after me, Chen ErXin stopped me.
“Pei JiYu, what is the meaning of this? If you were impatient, you could have just told me!”
Chen ErXin’s tone wasn’t very good. My unreasonable behavior just now had offended him.
I looked up at him, and saw a ghastly pale face reflected in his pupils, looking as if I only needed to be covered by four boards to be ready for a burial <sup>2</sup> Here, I think the author is referring to the 4 wooden boards necessary to make a coffin. .
I didn’t dare tell him that I saw myself in the resentful woman just now.
At the moment, I had realized that I used to be like that, with such ugliness that frightened others.
*Translator’s Notes:
-I am not very sure of the meaning of the chrysanthemums flowers so I did a quick search. In some European countries such as France, Spain, etc., incurve chrysanthemums symbolize death and are used only for funerals or on graves. However, I am assuming that this story was in the Chinese context, so I went to search specifically its significance in the Chinese culture. I was unable to find a specific reason but I did find out that yellow chrysanthemums symbolize neglected love or sorrow so perhaps that is why it was a “taboo”. You can learn more here too: https://www.ftd.com/blog/share/chrysanthemum-meaning-and-symbolism
1
The author used “鲛珠” which refers to the myth that pearls were created whenever a mermaid weeps. 2
Here, I think the author is referring to the 4 wooden boards necessary to make a coffin.