As I rushed back home, I suddenly remembered that Meng SiQi was probably still at work at this time.
There was really no use in coming back so quickly when he was not yet home. Laughing at myself, I then pushed the door open with my hand.
However, there was actually someone in the living room. When the person heard the sound of the door opening, he suddenly turned around, looking haggard.
“Meng SiQi!”
I was a little surprised but before I could ask further, he had already gotten up from the sofa and strode towards me. He then held me in his arms.
I couldn’t say a word.
I was in a daze and it took me a long time before I put my hands around his back.
I chuckled lightly. “Meng SiQi, you’re acting like an overgrown dog with the way you’re sticking to me.”
However, he didn’t respond or let go, just continued to hug me tightly. I even felt a little wetness on the side of my neck.
“There is no use crying now cause I already have no candy.”
In the end, I also didn’t know what to say besides that.
So, I tried to put my head on his shoulder. There was a faint smell of soap on his body, which was inexplicably reassuring.
For a moment, it seemed that all the past events had disappeared, leaving only his warmth around me.
I forgot everyone else, silently praying in my heart to any deity to allow me to stay in this moment. I really want to fall in love with this person.
This was my only wish.
After being anxious for days, I was finally able to relax. As my fatigue engulfed me, I managed to fall asleep while leaning against him like this.
When I woke, I was already lying in my bed. With the sky dim, there was only a wall lamp emitting a bright and soft glow, lighting up the room.
Meng SiQi was staying guard by my bed. When he saw me wake up, he watched me silently.
“You’ve been sleeping for six hours.” He spoke with a hoarse voice and a stubble could also be seen on his chin.
I laughed at him, “You look like you haven’t slept for a few days.”
“I’m afraid that as soon as I fall asleep, you will return.” He continued softly, “If I don’t keep a lookout, you would leave me again.”
It turned out that for these few days, he had been staying at home, waiting for me.
“You won’t come back.” He continued, “You would disappear like this and I’ll never see you again.”
“How could that be?” Not knowing whether to laugh or cry, I reminded him, “I told you I would accept treatment so how could I leave without saying goodbye?”
“I thought you were just deceiving me and that you were tired of me, so you ran away alone secretly. You don’t know how much I regretted it and blame myself for forcing you too hard.” I was able to feel his warmth from my hands that were tightly clenched in his. “You said that you have nothing to love about life.”
When I heard the uneasiness in his words, I couldn’t help sighing. In the past, I had made him worry and let him down.
“At that time, I was just so disappointed that I said that in the heat of the moment.”
After all, people wouldn’t live in disappointment forever.
“I was away for a while because I came across someone I knew before. I had managed to settle things with them.” I also continued, “I’m sorry that I had made you worry.”
Meng SiQi did not ask me who I met and just smiled. “The fact that you returned is the greatest comfort to me.”
I affirmed, “I won’t leave again.”
Father finally agreed to move into the hospital.
I had said to him, “If you are like this, Mother won’t be happy. You shouldn’t let her worry about you.”
The only person Father cared about in the world was Mother. Even if she was no longer here, he still cared about her and only she could soften his heart.
In the end, Father was admitted to the hospital where Meng SiQi was.
The attending doctor read Father’s case, shook his head at Lu QingFan and me before leaving.
Recently, Father had been losing consciousness frequently and I already knew that he couldn’t hold on for long.
With a soft smile on his sleeping face, it seemed as if he didn’t feel any pain. He was probably dreaming about the time in his youth.
The time when he was still young and Mother was still around.
Lu QingFan then accompanied me out of the ward.
Since we parted on a bad note a few days ago, we barely spoke to each other when we met again. Besides, as soon as he saw me, his face also became tense. He looked close enough to a threshold guardian <sup>1</sup> The author used “门神” (MenShen) also known as threshold guardian. In Chinese folk, they are the guardians of doors and gates who protect against evil influences or to encourage the entrance of positive ones. Their portraits are normally hung or painted on the doors. that taking a picture and sticking it on the door would be able to play the same role of protecting a household.
I told him, “You can go back to the company first.”
“Where are you going?”
“I have an appointment.” I made an appointment to have a physical examination today and to discuss a treatment plan.
Lu QingFan frowned, as if he was very displeased with me.
“JiYu, don’t be so willful anymore.”
To that, I had no more energy to argue with him about it.
Coincidentally, at this time, Meng SiQi was walking in our direction. When he saw the both of us, he stopped. I heaved a sigh of relief as I didn’t have to get involved with Lu QingFan any further.
At work, Meng SiQi was always expressionless and unsmiling. He was totally different from how he normally was.
With medical records held to his side, he nodded lightly to Lu QingFan as an acknowledgment.
Luckily, they both knew each other and I didn’t have to introduce them.
“Since young, JiYu has always been spoiled. I have troubled Dr. Meng for having to take care of him for me these days. Thanks a lot.” Lu QingFan was the first to speak and his expression looked cold. Though he was clearly saying thanks, his words were like ice.
Meng SiQi was no better in his response, “This is my duty, so there’s no need for Mr. Lu to be so polite.”
These two people standing in the corridor of the hospital were engaged in a quiet battle of swords with flashing lightning and thunder. With one wearing white, and the other wearing black, they looked like Black and White Impermanence <sup>2</sup> The author used â€śé»‘ç™˝ć— ĺ¸¸â€ť (HeiBai WuChang) also known as Black and White Impermanence. They are the 2 Chinese folk deities that escort the spirits of the dead to the underworld. As their names suggest, they are dressed in black and white respectively. .
Standing in between them, I coughed and said to Lu QingFan, “Dr. Meng and I have something to discuss. You should go first.”
After saying that, I dragged Meng SiQi to leave hurriedly.
I didn’t breathe until we reached Meng SiQi’s office.
“Just now, I almost thought that the both of you would attack each other.”
It was like reading an old martial arts novel where the two masters fighting each other would stare at each other for a long time. Finally, with sweat on their forehead, one of them would be unable to stand it and vomit blood, admitting defeat.
Just by using their spite and will alone, one could kill the opponent.
Meng SiQi then said as he looked through the medical records. “He was the one being hostile to me.”
“He misunderstood the relationship between us and was afraid that I met someone unsavory. He thought that you were a rich and heartless rich master, playing with my feelings.” I also continued, “He thinks too much.”
Meng SiQi finally smiled and said, “He didn’t misunderstand. I am really enthusiastic in pursuing you. However, I am determined and completely unwavering.”
I blushed and changed the subject. “I’ve been having trouble falling asleep recently as I would often wake up in pain. Aspirin doesn’t work as effectively anymore.”
Meng SiQi’s smile stiffened. As he looked at me, there was some anxiety.
I knew that something was not good.
I carefully asked him, “Something’s wrong?”
His smile was strained. “It doesn’t matter, I’ll give you some new medicine. It’s all right.”
“Ok.”
In this moment of awkwardness, I barely perceived the trembles from Meng SiQi’s hands.
It’s too late. I woke up too late.
I suddenly said, “Many of my ancestors died of incurable diseases so my grandfather thought that our sin was being rich and not benevolent enough. Till his death, he had devoted himself to charitable acts, but even then he still couldn’t escape from it.”
Meng SiQi immediately rebutted, “Don’t be superstitious. This phenomenon is just due to the fact that some malignant tumors tend to be present in certain families. For three generations of Napoleon’s family, ten people also died of gastric cancer.”
I laughed, startled. “I suddenly felt comforted.” I also continued to say, “At least my father doesn’t feel any pain.”
As I knew how painful it would be, I found him lucky. The pain was as if a hand had entered one’s body and shuffled all the organs around.
“Your father is very lucky as most terminal patients usually would feel the pain.”
I sighed emotionally. “All this time, he had always missed Mother. Perhaps this was like an escape for him.”
This caused Meng SiQi to ask, “Did your mother die of an illness?”
I shook my head. “It’s an accident. There was a fire in the shopping mall and people were running around in a panic. My mother couldn’t manage to escape.” I stopped for a moment before continuing, “At that time, I was only 12 years old. When I got up late at night, I saw Father looking at the old picture of Mother with tear tracks on his face. That day, he quarreled with Mother and she left alone. He didn’t expect that this time they would be separated eternally. He had always regretted that day when he let go of Mother’s hand.”
After saying that, both of us were silent.
It was only a while later that Meng SiQi grabbed my hand on the table. “I won’t let go of your hand.”
Never let go of that person’s hand easily.
Because you don’t know when that person would disappear forever and could never be found again.
*Translator’s Notes:
-I started translating this story around late 2020 and today’s updates were coincidentally on the first day of 2021. Looking back, I would just like to say that I am thankful to all the readers who enjoyed the story and/or left their thanks! It’s the start of the new year and I hope that things would go well for all of you after what happened in 2020 <3 I also find the end of this chapter quite fitting – as we move to the next year, let’s also remember to cherish our loved ones too!
1
The author used “门神” (MenShen) also known as threshold guardian. In Chinese folk, they are the guardians of doors and gates who protect against evil influences or to encourage the entrance of positive ones. Their portraits are normally hung or painted on the doors. 2
The author used â€śé»‘ç™˝ć— ĺ¸¸â€ť (HeiBai WuChang) also known as Black and White Impermanence. They are the 2 Chinese folk deities that escort the spirits of the dead to the underworld. As their names suggest, they are dressed in black and white respectively.