Chapter 16

Editor: Anna

Proofreader: jlycen

I told him, “Meng SiQi, I’ve decided to undergo treatment.”

He looked at me wide-eyed with surprise, “Really?”

I nodded, “Really.”

Weak and naive by nature, I was eager to rely on others and desire love. That’s why being abandoned by others had made me forsake myself.

These days of feeling sorry for myself allowed me to finally understand that love does not come from others’ “charity”. If that person does not love you naturally, being sad is useless.

There are still so many people in the world waiting to meet me. There would be someone who would feel the same way that I do.

So, I should learn to forget.

Before going through a thorough examination, I wanted to see my father first.

Calling Lu QingFan, I said, “Lu QingFan, it’s me.”

“Where have you been! Why did you leave without saying a word! Why did He Li show up at  your apartment? ” As soon as he opened his mouth, he started interrogating me. “Are you  planning to vanish in front of me for another four years?!”

He had met He Li?

I frowned, feeling ominous.

Copying him, I said coldly, “Lu QingFan, calm down, it’s not as if I’m dead.”

He, on the other side of the phone call, abruptly fell silent.

Self-aware of his loss of control, he finally calmed down after the series of questions.

He asked, “What did you call me for?”

I hesitated for a moment before finally deciding to say, “I want to see Father so I hope you can arrange it.”

“Why did you change your mind?” He returned to his mild tone of speaking, “I thought that you would never return to the family home in this lifetime.”

“Although I am an unfilial son, he is my father.” I said, “I still have a little bit of humanity left.”

Lu QingFan muttered to himself, seeming unable to make up his mind.

“Father doesn’t wish to see me?” In my heart, I knew that my father’s stubbornness would not soften despite his closely approaching death.

He replied, “Come to my office tomorrow and I’ll arrange it.”

“Thank you,” I said.

When I arrived, Lu QingFan happened to be signing a contract in the conference room.

The receptionist ushered me to the reception room to wait before gently closing the door and leaving. I was the only one there in that huge space.

The floor was covered with soft carpet and as I sat on the leather sofa, I nearly fell asleep.

After sitting there for about half an hour, I almost thought that Lu QingFan was deliberately tricking me so I couldn’t help but push the door to go out. Coincidentally, at this time, around ten or more people exited the elevator, headed by Lu QingFan who was shaking hands with another person.

I stilled for a moment.

How could it be so coincidental? That man was He Li.

Seeming to feel a gaze, He Li gently turned his head. The instance our gazes met, I couldn’t help but take a step backward.

Even as he looked at me, his smiling expression did not fade.

Following He Li’s gaze, Lu QingFan saw me.

He said, “You’re here?”

I reluctantly smiled and nodded to him, “I’ll wait for you inside.”

I hurried back to the reception room and took the aspirin out of my pocket. It must be because I had forgotten to take the medicine on time, that I was in so much pain.

After Lu QingFan dealt with everything quickly, we left the company.

On the way, he remained silent and only asked suddenly when nearing the Pei family  house, “What’s the relationship between you and He Li?”

I shrugged. “He’s my former sugar daddy ¹ Here, the author used “金主” which means someone who provides money to a person. The closest equivalent word that I could think of in English is “sugar daddy” so I had translated it as such. .”

Lu QingFan tensed his jaw but didn’t respond. Although he looked normal, his knuckles that were holding the steering wheel tightened till they were white.

I also regretted my words as soon as they were spoken. The one that I had a grudge with was He Li so why should I take it out on Lu QingFan?

At that time, there was something that he desired more so he didn’t accept me. As he hoped to rid his status as the Pei’s subordinate and climb to greater heights, I, as a burden, should exit gracefully.

Over the past ten years, I have repeatedly made things difficult for myself. Taking a gamble with Lu QingFan was just torturing both of us so why bother?

“These four years, I’ve been with him.” I said, “But I’ve already broken up with him.”

“So, it’s true that you were with him.”

When Lu QingFan went to the apartment to look for me, he had met He Li so he probably already guessed our relationship. However, it was only now that he was certain.

He then asked, “Where do you live now?”

“A friend’s house.”

“Friend? Do you even have friends? “

Four years had passed but he thought that I was still the ignorant boy in the palm of his hand that he knew everything about.

“Lu QingFan, I’m already an adult so don’t interfere with my private life again.”

How could I live another six years under his supervision? Then, just to avoid his surveillance, I had rather worked as a waiter in a nightclub.

At that time, Pei JiYu was willing to do anything for this gamble. How young, ignorant, and fearless.

If I was willing to bow down and admit defeat to him then, would I not have met He Li?

Unfortunately, one can never go back to the past, so I shouldn’t regret it.

“JiYu, have you not suffered enough? Without the identity of the son of the Pei’s family, who will regard you highly?”

His words stabbed me in my sore spot. Obviously, he already knew the end of Leo and me where it was as he expected.

I looked at him angrily, but he looked straight ahead on the road before us, calm as usual.

I suddenly felt dejected and with my heart was full of desolation, I was enlightened. It was as if I had woken up from a long dream, looked back and realized that everything was so pitiful, laughable, and pathetic.

Pei JiYu’s disposition was true and sincere, willing to give up everything for love. Lu QingFan, however, had inborn inferiority and thought that only by obtaining everything then he could deserve true love.

We were from two different worlds, and ever since the beginning, he and I were opposites.

I said lightly, “Even if I’m the master of the Pei family, you won’t accept me.”

After such words, both of us remained silent till we arrived at the Pei’s house.

Father who was currently strolling in the backyard with a clutch, didn’t know that I had returned.

Most of the new servants also didn’t recognize me and only respectfully addressed Lu QingFan as “young master”, probably thinking that I was a guest of the Pei family.

As I looked at my father in the courtyard through the window, he seemed to be the same as he had been four years ago. The white hair on his temples also had not seemed to have increased.

A person’s life often declines from external forces, where eventually no medicine would work anymore and one turns to ashes.

I still can remember my father’s gentle smile under the sun when my mother was alive. There was only one person who could make him so calm and happy.

Unfortunately, there is only one Mother in the world.

“There are generations of people in the Pei’s family who have died of cancer. My grandfather had three brothers, one of whom died early, while the other two died of cancer. So that’s why the Pei’s family was so small when it reached my generation.” I looked at my father’s back outside the window, “I didn’t expect that my father would be like this too.”

This was probably the first time Lu QingFan heard about the medical history of the Pei’s family, and he did not speak for a long time.

I couldn’t help asking him, “Would you be sad if I died like this one day?”

He scowled. “Don’t talk nonsense!”

I smiled and didn’t continue on with this topic.

What does it have to do with me whether he was sad about my death or not? That would be Lu QingFan’s personal issue and I shouldn’t have asked.

He said, “Father has drawn up his will.”

Did Father feel that he was running out of time?

“I still don’t believe that he’s going to die.” I said, “I thought I was going to die before him.”

“You will always live in your own world.”

I lightly laughed. “Yes, you’re right.”

I had finally admitted defeat to him on this long-lasting stalemate between us.

He looked at me and his eyes seemed to flash with surprise, “Oh, JiYu, why would you be willing to admit this?”

I replied with a smile, “Because now, Pei JiYu had finally awoken from a great dream.”

1

Here, the author used “金主” which means someone who provides money to a person. The closest equivalent word that I could think of in English is “sugar daddy” so I had translated it as such.