The winter days are cold, so at 10 o’clock, two people climbed into the bed with the electric heating blanket; Xia Zhi was still grumbling about that half of the roasted duck, indignantly rambling an overflow of words. Ye Qia sat there, ever since his e-book broke, he simply changed himself another tablet, half playing, half listening to Xia Zhi’s nagging, playing and playing, suddenly he asked, “Oh right, when are we going to renovate the living room?”
“You set the time, babe, aren’t you relatively free these days?” As this was brought up, Xia Zhi felt guilty, after all, he even ripped out the wooden skirting of the entrance door, blasted out a pit in the hard marble floor; if the landlord were to come over for a look, he doesn’t even know what kind of punishment will be given, “I want to go to work.”
Ye Qia put down his tablet, face full of graveness as he turned his head, saying, “Is it no time or no money?”
“No time!” Xia Zhi yelled out, but also quietly lowered down his volume, “Also no money.”
Ye Qia stared at him for a few seconds, then turned back to his tablet.
Xia Zhi’s yelling gave him shortness of breath, carefully he said, “You’ve prepared what to do?”
“What ‘what to do’?”
“The living room ah.”
“I’ll manage it, don’t you bother already.”
Xia Zhi was shocked: Eh, has the world been jolted?
It’s also a person’s personality, he thought about it for quite a while, still couldn’t control his cheap mouth, “Are you paying?”
Ye Qia didn’t even lift his head as he spoke, “You want to pay also can.”
“Even if I wanted to pay also I cannot, recently the places to spend money has increased.” Also this matter clearly you need to take responsibility one, this sentence Xia Zhi didn’t say out loud, after quietly pondering over a while later, he said, “But this amount of money, even after I am unaccountable for it, I still feel uneasy.”
As he spoke, Xia Zhi’s voice got lower and lower, because when Ye Qia turned his head, fixing his eyes on him as a strange smile emerged, the whole process was just like a gangster boss interrogating who is the undercover spy, making his hair stand on end.
“If you aren’t willing, I won’t coerce you.”
“No no no, I’m not unwilling, extremely welcome you coercing me!” Xia Zhi hurriedly expressed his att.i.tude, hesitated a bit, still bit his teeth and raised the blanket, “In the future when I have money I will return one, but you don’t expect too much ah, it’s just say try only.”
Xia Zhi rambled for a bit, but Ye Qia only replied a “Got it”. That small heart of his seemed like it sprouted a root of thorn, thinking and thinking, suddenly an idea popped into his head: Is it not that this is him trying to make up to me for bearing the black pot?
The more he thought the more he felt that it was correct, unconsciously his heart leaped in happiness, he turned around and obscenely put his hand on Ye Qia’s groin. Tapping and tapping then his hand slipped inside, going straight until he touched that bird, only then did Ye Qia raise a listening ear and pa.s.sed on a question: “You aren’t wilted anymore?”
“……”
Xia Zhi silently wriggled his body into the quilt, his recently empowered soul has just suffered a critical strike. After a while, a hand touched his head, Ye Qia lazily asked, “Sleeping already?”
He kept silent for a while, then softly squeaked out, “No.”
“It’s alright, don’t be angry anymore.” Ye Qia’s tone contained a laugh, “At most this is your heart’s issue, after not too long a time it’ll be fine again.”
Xia Zhi turned around, looking at Ye Qia’s dimly lit face, asked, “In the past, you ran into this before?”
“Not often, there are a few that if they weren’t hurt, they wouldn’t get hard, also got a more nonsensical case; had to hit the private part then only got feeling.”
Xia Zhi suddenly sucked in a cold breath, took an interest in it: “Did you run into any customer that is deeply engraved into your mind? No need to mention that sort of disgusting fat man!”
Ye Qia thought and thought, he said, “There was a man who had a big black mole on his b.u.t.t, the shape resembled a b.u.t.terfly, he really liked impersonating the b.u.t.terfly letting me use a rope to tie him up, pretending he was a kite.”
Xia Zhi snorted all of a sudden, after laughing he thought of something, he wrinkled his forehead and asked, “How did this man look like?”
“He had a nose and two eyes.”
“You’re saying that on purpose?”
“I can’t disclose the customer’s information.”
“This customer still got look for you ah?”
“No.”
“Then it doesn’t count as a customer.” Xia Zhi pestered incessantly, “Disclose a bit ah! Just a bit!”
Regardless of how he tried to act spoiled, roll about, threaten, or sell meng[1], Ye Qia made himself Buddhlike, calm and ignoring. He crawled over, leaned himself over on Ye Qia’s thigh, one hand holding the tablet, and dourly said, “You still want to reimburse this tablet or not?”
“If this tablet is spoiled, you can think about what kind of punishment you will be getting, I’m an expert in dealing punishments, do you want to test it?”
Xia Zhi thought for a bit, admitted defeat, and silently flopped over.
Ye Qia played with a fluffy ball while asking, “Why pay so much attention to this person?”
“Seems like it’s someone I know.”
“What’s strange about this?”
“I slept with this man before.”
“What’s strange about this?”
Xia Zhi choked for a second, thinking about it, yeah, it’s not like they are some kind of innocent youths, aged a lot already, have experienced a few serious periods or “f.u.c.king! Why didn’t I blame him for breaking up with me?!” these feelings are also normal. He laid on the bed, recollecting memories, thinking and thinking and then he thought about currently the most headache-worthy question.
“I say, can you use your superb hand and deal me a restoration?”
Ye Qia finally stopped hitting the furry ball this sort of childish game, turned his head and looked at Xia Zhi, seeming to be evaluating something. Got this kind of good opportunity, how can he let it go, instantly holding up his head, lying on his side and revealing a graceful posture.
A few seconds later, Ye Qia said, “Queen poses a lot more prettier than you.”
Xia Zhi’s face turned even more black, “Was it good?”
“No, the best one is Taotie.” Ye Qia tiredly looked back at his tablet, “His……”
Not waiting for Ye Qia to finish his sentence, from the middle of the quilt Xia Zhi jumped out, with two legs he strode over and sat down in Ye Qia’s lap. With two hands he grabbed hold of the tablet, but under Ye Qia’s menacing eyes, lightly, lightly took it away, putting it aside.
“Let’s discuss some serious business ba.”
“Like?”
“Which time was the best time for you?” Not waiting for Ye Qia to open his mouth, Xia Zhi further said, “I think that as a pair of cohabitating couple, this matter should be synergistic, correct or not? For example, if we met someone who both of us have slept with before, then we can use them as a reference material and compare the small details or something.”
Ye Qia sighed, shifted to a more comfortable posture, and said, “How many people have you slept with?”
“Do one night stands count?
“Count.”
“Eighteen, you?”
“I can’t remember clearly.”
“……”
“So that’s why, I can’t remember which time was the best.”
Xia Zhi clenched his fist and squeezed out a dry smile, he said, “Then what kind do you feel is the best?”
“Like?”
“What kind of s.e.x[2]?”
“Once finished no matter if it’s the receiving or giving end, both also will result in sore hips and a backache.” Ye Qia had a tangled expression on his face, “The most annoying person is the one that leaves behind a bad smell after s.e.x, also ones that will frequently hit the head.”
“Can’t you choose any bigger car?”
“A bus?”
“…… Business cars and the like.”
“Other than buses and vans, all has this issue.”
No way, even on buses and trucks you have done it before?
This question Xia Zhi swallowed back down, thought about it for a while; the most regrettable thing is that his little brother still completely has no feeling at all. He was very unwilling, persistently asking, “How about a big round bed?”
“Easy to fall off, rotating type is also easy to get dizzy.”
“…… Even got rotating type?”
“You’ve got less experience, I’ve even encountered a pentagram.”
Xia Zhi decisively changed the topic, “Then how about the bathroom?”
“Too hard, too slippery and also too wet.”
“Battlefield?”
“Unhygienic, I had a client who after finishing had a whole body full of three hundred fifty bites, and in the end a chunk of flesh was rotten.”
“…… Fireplace PLAY?”
“The rug is uncomfortable and also it gets really hot.”
Speaking until here, Xia Zhi finally got his feathers ruffled, crawled over and tugged on Ye Qia’s neck, both eyes full of blood, and asked, “Which type do you actually prefer?”
“On a soft and flexible bed.” Ye Qia reached out a hand and supported Xia Zhi’s shoulder, slowly pressed on him, softly he said, “Fully lubricated, both sides are in good health, a tacit understanding, what you intend to do just do.”
Xia Zhi stared blankly, suddenly he felt Ye Qia pressing on his leg area got an extra thing—f.u.c.k me! Ye Qia raised his flag!