< Evade the Hero and Flee! 194 #23. Policy Meant for My Dream! (1) >
It all began with Riaâs question.
âSir, is it alright for you to be like this?â
âWhat do you mean?â
I was enjoying my time off with my daughter as usual, but Ria suddenly showed up and began interfering.
Just what could have dissatisfied her so much?
Not only was she staying in a highest-class residence and enjoying top-quality meals, she even received top-tier service, to boot! Best of all, no weird people were chasing after her, either!
-Master, your disciple is originally a daughter from a wealthy family, no? You dragged someone like that here, imprisoned her against her will and forced her to work like a slave, you know? Not being dissatisfied will be bizarre in that case.
-N-no, hang on a minute! Thatâs totally wrong! If it was No.1000, sheâd be over the moon just to get some delicious meals!
It was unfortunate that I couldnât spread the joy of eating rice while declaring, âOh, you wheat-eating heathens, this is what rice tastes like!â in this world, since I mostly ate the OttXgiâs Ready-Washed Rice in my previous life. However, I still managed to usher in a new culture of fried foods.
Sure, you could say that oil was a bit of a luxury item in this world, but people wouldnât think itâs a wasted expense if I say itâs a crucial ingredient in welcoming the⊠Lord âChi-Godâ. [1]
Keuh~⊠Hey, are you watching? Dear God, that brought me to this world?
Just by spreading the goodness of fried chicken to this world, Iâve already fulfilled my quota, you know! Not only that, but I also taught the people of this people how to fry potatoes, so you better show me your appreciation by guaranteeing my comfortable retirement life!
However, Ria was not a god, and it seemed she was not interested in guaranteeing my comfortable retirement.
âShouldnât you be working, sir?â
âWorking? Belegrea is in charge of that, though?â
âYes, she and I are resolving the majority of the matters, but there certainly exists some matters that can only be resolved by the demon king himself.â
Ria handed over a thick pile of documents, and it was heavier than Iâd like. After taking a quick look-see, all of them seemed rather annoying to deal with.
These matters had been already âmostlyâ dealt with, but I still had to stamp my seal of approval as the top representative of the government. Even so, they could be sorted out simply by throwing around the name of the Demon God.
âThese are some annoying things, arenât they?â
âPlease try to have some sympathy for people who need to deal with these annoying things, sir.â
Riaâs words were prickly, to say the least, but her voice didnât have much energy. How should I describe this⊠She was complaining because she had already given up on everything?
I guess I could summarise it like so?
âVery well. I can certainly help you deal with these matters.â
When I took the document piles, Ria spat out a long sigh from the deepest part of her heart. âThank you.â
She didnât sound thankful at all, thoughâŠ
âItâs fine.â
Iâve been dumping all the work on her shoulders until now, so itâs about time I graciously humour a few of her complaints, no?
âMm⊠Nope, I was wrong.â
Aaaand I began regretting right away.
âMaster, youâve gotten a lot frailer, havenât you?â The metal bat muttered from my side.
âWell, Iâm not a spring chicken anymore, after all.â
My eyes poring over the documents were getting dim and tired. I only moved my hands a little to wield a pen, but that was enough to ache my joints.
And most importantly of allâŠ
ââŠI canât even be bothered.â
âWell, master hasnât done work like this in a long while, after all.â
As soon as I spread out these documents on a desk, my daughter and the cat quickly escaped from here. I decided not to mind them and did my best to focus on the work at hand.
But it was getting hard for me. And it was getting too annoying for me to care.
âAll I wanted was to retire as a paper-pusher back when I still worked for the organisation, but to think that Iâve become this useless at writing letters on some paperâŠâ
âWell, back then, a desk job was much simpler for you compared to fieldwork, so thatâs why. But, things are different now, right?â
âKeuh-euk! Demon king, what a scary job it isâŠâ
I knew it, the demon king was a scary existence. Just one word from me was enough to command countless priests. And I didnât even have to lift a finger to do that. On top of that, a scarcely-believable amount of wealth automatically entered my coffers every month. Letâs not forget the vault filled with wealth saved up for hundreds of years, too!
In one fell swoop, I acquired a job title as good as the emperor of the Karuan Empire and also became the wealthiest man alive on the continent at the same time.
âI joined the organisation after realising how much money I could make, didnât I?â
âYeah, thatâs right. And you made quite a bit of coin, master.â
The salaries and the incentives I received from the organisation was considerable, but what I skimmed off the top or while cooking the books was even more astronomical.
For instance, I made sure to pocket about half of the repair budget allocated to the traineesâ barracks that got destroyed once or twice every year.
While saying stuff like, âI need funds to train the prospects,â or âFunds are necessary to attempt this task,â I kept siphoning off an astronomical amount of money from the organisationâs coffers and used them for my own gains.
A hefty chunk of that moolah went into the metal bat, though!
âI knew it. Master, youâre so evil!â
âThat evil streak of mine led to your birth, so you better keep your flippant piehole shut.â
âOkay!â
I briefly glared at the metal bat after she quickly clamped her mouth shut. But she looked up at me with a face that said, âWhatâs the problem?â
This metal bat of mine was getting stronger with every passing day. Since day one, she was already strong enough to be called deus ex machina, but I always had a way to take her down a notch through a mental attack. But these days? It was her that found a way to take me down a notch, instead!
-Itâs all thanks to a great master teaching me! As expected of a pro instructor!
-Werenât you going to keep your mouth shut?
-My mouth is shut, you know.
Itâd never end if I kept humouring her like this.
I was the busy one here, after all. Left without a choice, I stopped engaging the metal bat and picked up the documents again. And then, I swore to myself. âYup, as I thought, not working is for the best.â
âBut master, you have to do this, no?â
âThatâs unfortunately true. I wish I could just quit being the demon king, but the demon race as a whole is just too weak.â
These demons were so weak that if I put up the subject of conquering the demon continent as the graduation test for Yugrasia, I had a feeling that the conquest would be a resounding success.
Although, if I think about it more seriously, then something like the conquest of the demon continent seemed very unrealistic. However, if the incentive was the immediate discontinuation of the night studies, then well⊠I got this sneaking suspicion that the Yugrasia students could really pull the conquest off.
âMaster⊠Your suspicion is usually on the money.â
âIndeed. Especially when itâs a bad one.â
âAnd if that scenario also happens to contain a situation very unfavourable to you, masterâŠ!â
âItâll happen with almost 100% certainty!â
This theory was amply proven by the fact that I was acting as the demon king right now. When I learned that my daughter was a half Succubus, I had a gut feeling that one day, events would force me to enter the demon continent⊠And it really happened!
âThe demon race simply has to become stronger.â
Even though these demons were so lacking, they fooled themselves into believing that they were stronger than humans. Sure, a single demon could easily slay dozens of humans⊠if those humans happen to be powerless civilians.
Move up the power ladder, though, and humans were clearly stronger than demons.
Thanks to the great war, the number of experts on the human side had increased by quite a lot. On the other hand, the demons had been enjoying a period of peace that gradually whittled down their number of experts. As a result, the number of new experts rising to prominence was certifiably low.
âHang on, master? Arenât you basing that opinion on the people you know?â
âDonât forget that itâs those people chasing after me right now.â
âAhhh. Youâre right.â
Even the metal bat nodded in acceptance without any retort at that undeniable fact.
Humans might be weak, but those humans trying to capture me were incredibly strong. Worse still, they were also crafty, to boot.
âFirst of all, Iâll have some peace of mind by building sturdy walls by the bordersâŠâ
âMaster, if youâre thinking about that now, itâs already too late, you know? I think spies sent by the scary big sisters are already hiding in the demon continent.â
âCome on, now. This is the demon continent. Which crazy underling would want to sneak in here as a spy?â
There was a chance of a frontal assault, sure, but spies? That sounded far-fetched to me. Other than me, how many people out there couldâve come up with a revolutionary item like a wearable demon horn headband?
âI guess itâs safe to assume that there arenât any hidden enemies in our own ranks for the time being. Aggreahrtâs faction has already been disbanded and taken care of, so I donât have to worry about rebellions, either.â
As such, there was only one thing remaining to do!
âOnce we hold the coronation ceremony, the demon continent will have its normal demon king!â
âNg? I thought you didnât want to become the demon king, master?â The metal bat tilted her head after hearing my grand plan.
âOf course. Thereâs no need for me to become the demon king. Why did we come to the demon continent in the first place?â
âWell, the Imperial Princess is chasing us down, thatâs why.â
âYes, that is certainly a reason. Make that the biggest reason, too. But coming to the demon continent wasnât just because of me. No, itâs also related to my daughter.â
ââŠUh?â It seemed that the metal bat had finally caught onto what I was saying. âC-could it be?â
âThatâs right, my daughter holds the right to choose the next demon king!â
The sacred authority of the chieftainsâŠ
As the sole remaining descendent of the Succubus race in this world, my daughter held that authority.
The current split in the votes was 50:50. This vote was still ongoing even though one of the candidates, Aggreahrt, was already dead.
âLike this, dad?â
âThatâs right, my child.â
As such, we cast our vote the next day while I held my daughterâs hand. In my previous life, I often heard the tagline âYour precious vote can change our country!â and here I was, actually witnessing that scenario becoming reality!
âOh, ohhâŠ!â
Once that last vote entered the ballot box, the voting venue became awash with all sorts of magic circles.
Letters rose up while emitting brilliant white light, and in the middle of them were 101 ballot papers floating up in the air. And then, even brighter rays of white light exploded to blind us.
-According to the Demon Godâs laws, Belegrea is now declared as the new demon king.
âOh, ohhhâŠâ
âSo cool, dad!â
My daughter and I were suitably impressed by the gorgeously-flashing letters floating up in the air.
And the very next dayâŠ
âCongratulations! Oh, the demon king chosen by the demon race!â
I personally delivered this wonderful bit of news to Belegrea.
Belegrea gasped out. âIâm sorry?!â
âYouâre the demon king from this moment onward!â
She looked utterly gobsmacked, but I didnât criticise her for that. I mean, she became the demon king practically overnight, so her shock was completely understandable!
âWell, then! Letâs prepare the official coronation ceremony, shall we! Since youâll be the new king of all demon races, the ceremony should be as grand as possibleâŠâ
âW-wait a minute!â [2]
Since she looked out of it, I planned to quickly finish this up and go home, but too bad, it didnât work in the end.
âTch!â
âS-since you clicked your tongue just now, does that indicate my suspicion is correct, sir?!â
âNg? What do you mean by that? Iâm merely following the great and noble Demon Godâs will, thatâs all. Yes, all of this is the Demon Godâs will.â
This kid was quite a lot sharper than she looked. Too bad for her, though, I was in possession of the solve-everything magic term â the Demon Godâs will!
âIs that true, sir?â
âItâs impossible to fool a god. If I am lying, then thereâs no way that our great and noble Demon God would allow me to live!â
-Uhm, master? Demon God must be trying to rip you apart right about now, you know?
-But she canât, right?
-Well, yeah.
-Then itâs all good.
-You and your rotten humanity, master!
Even if you say that, gods already had a prior of doing character assassination via bad manners on me before. Or, should I say, character assassination via godly manners? [3]
I mean, they sent a hero and a saint to annoy the heck out of me just because they couldnât see what I was doing! Stalking was treated as a punishable offence back in my previous life⊠and in this life, too!
If only it wasnât for their meddling, I wouldâve been living my life quietly in a forgotten corner somewhere, you know! Thatâs right, everything is the fault of the gods!
âBehold, Belegrea! Lying to the great, noble Demon God in her temple, yet thereâs no divine punishment? That simply canât be it, now can it! Our Demon God is a great being, a noble creature that watches over all demon folk in existence. Thereâs simply no way that she doesnât know whatâs going on in her own temple. And that proves that my words are sincere.â
Thatâs why I didnât feel a single pang of guilt even when selling the Demon Godâs name down the river!
-Master, even if the Demon God was a friend to you, youâd still sell her down the river, you know? And still not feel any guilt whatsoever. I swear on my name as the Goddess Aru that Iâm 100% sure about this.
A surprisingly sharp tackle tried to knock me down just now, but fortunately enough, only I could hear her. A tackle that no one else in this world would ever find out as long as my unyielding mentality, forged through so many trials and tribulations, endured!
âI-is that so?â
As a result, Belegrea was left with no choice but to accept that she was now the new demon king. As expected of a devout believer of the Demon God, then.
-I feel sorry for her, masterâŠ
-Sheâs the new demon king, so why feel sorry for her?
I was planning to make her the greatest demon king in the history of the demon race. The demon king that inherited the traditions and conventions of the demon race⊠the one with the legitimacy, approved by the Demon God herself!
You see, my plan was to make her the first-ever demon king to possess both of those qualifications.
-Master, I donât recall anyone enjoying a nice end after receiving your considerate supportâŠ
-Huh?! How dare you lie like that! Who are you even talking about! Who was it!
-That good-looking Oppa that became your substitute, Yugrasia that became the greatest academy in the land, and thenâŠ
-Hey, you! You actually want to remind me of them?!
I ended up getting flustered a little when the metal bat unhesitantly began naming the individuals in question.
She mustâve gotten excited by it too, because she even began pummelling my mind with horrible fact bombs like, âBeing next to you causes even a perfectly-normal hero to turn into a demon kingâs lackey, master!â
N-no, this wonât do!
I still have a ton of important things to do! Donât you know how hard I have been preparing in that brief time for the sake of not working in the future?!
I canât afford to let them all go to waste!
I even had to send my daughter away for this occasion, you know! The sight of her being so sad and saying, âDadâs too busy to play with meâŠâ really hurt me in the feelings, too!
Donât give up, me! I mustnât lose to a fake living organism made out of some metal!
âThe Demon God has declared thus. You possess the qualifications to be called the demon king. Just like your predecessors have done, devote yourself for the sake of all demon race.â
âThank you.â
Belegrea deeply bowed her head at me⊠Oops, I mean, at the Demon God she thought was standing behind me.
However, this is merely the beginning.
âWe must spread the will of our great, noble Demon God using the opportunity afforded by the coronation ceremony.â
While saying that, I handed over a document to Belegrea. It contained some things I wrote after diligently combing through my memories.
âThis isâŠ?â
âThis is the will of the Demon God. The proof that she wishes to change the demon world.â
Belegreaâs eyes darted around as she quickly read the document. âA spectre is wandering on the demon continent. A spectre called CommunismâŠâ
The words coming out of her mouth was none other than a certain great speech from my previous life that ushered in a significant change to the world. Since ancient times, a demon king was supposed to have a stirring speech ready to declare at any given moment!
Of course, my memories being what they were, I only knew the foreword and the general gist of the contents. But the crux of this document, what I really wanted to convey, wasnât the Socialist ideal that Engels or Marx wanted!
No, what I was going for was the lip-service Socialism often mentioned by the Missile-firing pig⊠Oops, I meant the great leader of the North, Kim X-un! Yes, my goal was to create a pseudo-socialist society where only I get to live a good life!
âFrom this moment on, the demon world will follow the Demon Godâs will to become the Peopleâs Republic of Ko⊠No, I mean, Peopleâs Republic of Demons!â
And so⊠a social revolution meant only for me and me alone began to take shape step by step.
[1]: The Korean slang used here was âìčëëâ, which is a portmanteau of the English word âchickenâ and Korean word âíëëâ (God) Basically, itâs fried chickenâŠ
[2]: Maaaan, I almost went with âchotto matte!â here.
[3]: There was a reference to Hearthstoneâs âBM/bad mannersâ here, but the joke itself was impossible to translate to English. I did what I could, so no complaints, pleaseâŠ