I was in the middle of enjoying the underground hot spring.
âHey, did you get in a fight with Paimon?â
Barbatos suddenly asked. She was visiting my Demon Lord Castle. She barged her way in while I was in the middle of taking a bath, stripped naked, and sat down next to me. The way she let out a satisfied groan as she submerged herself in the water was the spitting image of a middle-aged man.
How did someone like this end up as my lover?
My skepticism toward the world was renewed as I took a puff from my pipe.
âWhy? Are there rumors?â
âRumor my ass. Iâm just taking a wild guess because that bitch Paimon looked needlessly depressed lately.â
Barbatos washed her face with the hot spring water.
âHer nerves are as thick as an orcâs penis, so she doesnât get upset by most things.â
âWellâŚâŚ we did have a small argument.â
I shrugged. Barbatos smiled mischievously once she heard my response.
âWant me to guess what the argument was about? I bet it was because we barbecued those humans, wasnât it?â
âSheesh. You should stop being a regent and become a fortune teller.â
âI knew it.â
Barbatos cackled. She looked pleased. This tiny Demon Lord is a sadist who gets joy from the gloom of others. How can this be the Demon Lord whoâs been doing the best lately? The world is truly cruel.
âI told you. I was concerned since the moment you started getting along with Paimon. Paimonâs personality is completely different from âoursâ. I think it was back during the 4th Crescent Alliance. We had a huge argument back then as well when we were trying to figure out how to deal with the human prisoners.â
Barbatos never liked that I started a relationship with Paimon.
Fundamentally, Barbatos supports free love. She adheres to the principle of not doing anything even if her partner plays with other people. However, she still considers Paimon a rival.
Thereâs a reason why Barbatos went hysterical about this in the past.
The long-term rival mentality between Barbatos and Paimon was the culprit behind why she went on about something nonsensical like being the legal wife and whatnot. She wanted me to guarantee her that âshe was above Paimonâ.
Well, that ended with me gifting her a finger necklace.
Even now, Barbatos had my finger necklace around her neck while the rest of her was naked. This is why a womanâs jealousy is annoying.
âBarbatos, there is something Iâve always wanted to ask you. What is your opinion on humans?â
âOf course, I think of them as pieces of trash that have to be removed from the surface as soon as possible.â
So youâre asserting them as trash. How scary-.
I smiled bitterly.
âWhy? Humans are also rational beings, arenât they? You could turn them into slaves instead of killing them all.â
âYou blockhead. Itâs because theyâre a bunch of people with rationality attached to their skulls that we have to wipe them out more.â
Barbatos submerged her body deeper into the hot spring. She stared impassively at the steam rising up from the hot water.
âIs rationality something special? Itâs useless. Be it demons or humans, they become sly wolves and turn the world into shambles if you leave them alone. Try asking anyone who has that supposedly impressive rationality. Why do they eat animals and plants when theyâre also living beings?â
Barbatos let out a snort.
âI guarantee you that they will respond like this: Iâm a rational being and things like animals and plants are all stupid, so itâs fine to eat them. What kind of skeleton-shitting excuse is that? Do you get it now? This is a simple problem. They eat them because theyâre stronger than animals and plants.â
Barbatos raised her right foot. A pale foot emerged from the water like a submarine.
âWhenever I hear words like rationality, I want to rip my ears out and shove them in that personâs mouth. This is what clearly separates me from Paimon. She treats diarrhea like gold and I treat diarrhea like diarrhea.â
I expected as much.
I asked a question as I felt my muscles loosen in the water.
âThen you should clean up both the demons and the humans. Why do you only want to wipe out the humans?â
âMm. Fortunately, I can control demons.â
âDantalian, I think of this as a type of blessing. Demons have Demon Lords. Demon Lords can read the minds of others indiscriminately and judge them equally. No matter what problem arises, they will always be fair.â
ââŚâŚ.â
âAre they trash that can be controlled? Or are they trash without a collar? Thatâs the difference. If Demon Lords didnât exist, then I probably wouldâve tried to wipe out everyoneâŚâŚ.â
I nodded along impassively.
âMhm. Excluding our comrades, Iâll clean up all the pointless Demon Lords.â
It was rather coincidental.
Paimon and Barbatos are both Demon Lords. Despite this, one of them considers it a curse while the other considers it a blessing.
Paimon believes that Demon Lords are the true foreign beings in the world. If society wants to function properly, then Demon Lords have to be dealt with first. Thatâs the conclusion she had reached. In order to arrive at a fair society that goes beyond the discrimination between humans and demonsâŚâŚ.
On the other hand, Barbatos saw humans as the foreign beings. Humans have to be wiped out in order for us to build an absolutely fair society.
And yet, they both arrived at the same answer. âWe must get rid of most of the Demon Lordsâ. It was a rather funny jokeâŚâŚ.
I spoke in a serious tone.
âBarbatos, Iâve never been close to things like justice and principle. I do not have the right to determine whether you or Paimon are right.â
ââŚâŚ.â
âBut I at least want to say this. Itâs not time yet.â
Humanity isnât as weak as the Demon Lords think they are.
Recently, the only reason the Demon Lord Army was able to be on top of the human army was entirely due to the fact that we had causes. It wasnât because of some innate superiority demons had over humans.
âWe have always taken advantage of the enemyâs division. The nobles and commoners were divided on Bruno Plains. Frankia and Brittany were divided during the Puppet War. That was how we snatched up our victories.â
Unite your allies and divide the enemy.
This was the only religious precept I knew and I treated it as a sacred principle. All of my actions until now were for the sake of carrying out this one principle.
âIt doesnât matter if you step on the Mountain Faction. Creating a kingdom for demonkind is also okay. However, now isnât the time to be fighting your allies. This is my advice to you, a legion commander, as the Demon Lord Armyâs advisor. Wait.â
Barbatos stuck her lips out in a pout.
âHabsburg, Frankia, and Brittany are all in ruins. What more is there to wait for?â
âWell, Bernicia, Kalmar, Batavia, Teuton, Polish-Lithuania Commonwealth, Moscow, Castile, Sardinia, and Anatolia. There are still a total of nine countries alive and well.â
Only three out of twelve nations have fallen.
In other words, three-quarters of humanity still remained. This wasnât nearly enough to say that humanity was facing an unprecedented crisis.
âIf anything, the Demon Lord Army became weaker these past few years. Not only have some of us died during the wars, but Baal and Agares are also dead. Despite this, thereâs only one reason we still look strong.â
ââŚâŚBecause weâre grouped up and theyâre separated. Is that it?â
I nodded.
Barbatos got upset.
âThen how long are we going to wait!?â
âStop whining like a cat in heat. Fine. Wait until at least the Consul of Habsburg and the Queen of Brittany are dead.â
All the important human characters from the game should be dead from old age by that point.
Especially the Habsburg Republic. As a whole, that nation is being maintained by Elizabethâs charisma. Iâm sure itâll fall apart immediately once Elizabeth is dead.
I stroked Barbatosâ side teasingly.
âWell, itâll be a sixty-year wait at most. That isnât much to us when we live eternally. Isnât that right?â
âDamn itâŚâŚ You seriously suck!â
Barbatos smacked my hand away.
âHey! Whose side are you going to take if the Mountain Faction and the Plains Faction fight!?â
âDear me. Such a juvenile question that even children wouldnât askâŚâŚ.â
âFuck, stop beating around the bush and answer me!â
Barbatos growled like a cat.
âWhat are you saying? I am not on the Mountain Factionâs side or the Plains Factionâs side.â
I touched her cheek with one hand.
âIâm on your side.â
ââŚâŚEh?â
âI donât care if humans are trash or not. I donât care if your ideal is lofty or not either. Barbatos, I will only be on your side.â
I slowly approached Barbatosâ lips.
Right when our lips were about to meet, woosh, Barbatos avoided my kiss. I thought it was weird, so I tilted my head.
Barbatosâs expression quickly turned sour.
ââŚâŚWow, youâre terrible at this.â
Huh?
This wasnât the reaction I was expecting.
How should I say it? I sort of wanted her to blush and act shy. Laura and Ivar would fall head over heels for me if I said something like this to them, but Barbatosâ gaze became cold like she was staring at a pile of trash.
âWere you trying to woo me with that line? You retard. Who would even fall for such disgusting words? That was so cringy. The foie gras I had yesterday almost came back up.â
ââŚâŚ.â
Ivar and Laura were suddenly being treated as retards by Barbatos.
Barbatos had suddenly lowered Ivar and Laura to that of retards.
A corner of my mouth trembled.
âM-More like you lack any purity!â
âPurity? That sounds like some nonsense an ogre with a crush would say. Iâm not some virgin whoâs never had a lover before.â
Barbatos let out a snort.
âLet me give you some advice as an adult. Never say something like that ever again. Especially in front of others. Do you know how much you made my skin crawl? The tiny bit of affection I have left for you in my heart almost ran away because of that.â
âWhatâŚâŚ?â
âHonestly, you should be grateful I didnât sock you. You probably wouldâve lost your tongue by now if I werenât your lover. Keke.â
Barbatos let out a hearty laugh.
It had been so long since I was last mocked that my entire body shook. How dare someone who gets dragged around by the nose by Laura look down on my romantic moves? I can overlook most things, but not this!
I opened my mouth.
âBig talk coming from someone who loses to a human childâ.â
It was at that moment.
Barbatosâs face suddenly got closer, and, as if this was a predetermined sequence of events, she stole my lips in the smoothest way possible. It was a surprise attack in a moment of haste. I opened my eyes wide.
Barbatosâ soft tongue entered my mouth. It wasnât a rough kiss. Her tongue twirled around mine so gently that it felt like she was stroking it. I missed my timing to close my mouth as I was swept up in Barbatosâ pace.
Shortly after, the kiss ended and Barbatos slowly backed away.
She had a smirk on her face as if she had just pulled a great prank.
âBrat, this is how you woo someone.â
ââŚâŚ.â
âThat mouth of yours wonât get anything done if youâre nothing but talk. Understand?â
Barbatos hummed as she stood up.
I hastily shouted at Barbatos who was leaving the underground spring.
âY-Youâre running away after getting me all worked up!?â
Damn it. I unintentionally stuttered.
My lower body was now demanding a stronger simulation. It wouldnât make sense to stop here. Despite this, that lecherous Barbatos feigned ignorance despite knowing full well what she had done.
âThatâs not my problem. Go masturbate or something.â
âYouâre treating your husband pretty terribly ever since you started going out with Laura, huh!?â
âHusband my ass. If you donât like it, then ask Paimon for a house call.â
She cackled loudly.
As expected of a sadist.
Barbatos seemed strangely pleased for some reason.
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TL Note: Thanks for reading the chapter. I wonder if this is where that kiss from the LN is from. Dantalian got his mouth violated. So sad. Heâll never recover from this.
On another note, it was a busy holiday. I went to meet relatives and I found out that my dad adopted a dog. He doesnât live with us and I only see him during these big holidays, so, sadly, Iâll rarely ever get to see the dog. That was the most noteworthy thing that happened to me, although my brotherâs wife did announce she was pregnant, I already knew that.
In any case, Iâll see you guys in the next chapter. Back to work tomorrow.