I was lying still on the bed. Gamigin was next to me trying to muffle her crying. It sounded like she couldnât hold back her tears. If I were to compare this sound to something, then it was like a soothing lullaby.
She probably didnât know that I was awake.
I actually never lost consciousness to begin with. It was quite pleasant and relaxing being practically carried all the way here by Gamigin.
Â
I had a feeling that Gamiginâs stress had been building up drastically lately. People arenât machines. No matter how fair the trade is, people always want to receive the utmost respect and, at the very least, donât want to get knocked down a peg in front of others.
Even if that was the path they chose to take.
No, if anything, the fairness itself mightâve been the problemâŠâŠ. Gamigin is the Rank 4 Demon Lord. She might think that having a fair deal with a person like me is, on the contrary, unfair.
People tend to easily forget the times when they were weak. There was probably a time when Gamigin was also the lowest rank. Nonetheless, after a few centuries of being an authority figure, people inadvertently start thinking to themselves, âIâm not insignificant enough to be disregarded like this. I should be treated better than thisâŠâŠ.â
I can only laugh at these people in response. What could possibly change after hundreds of years?
Am I going to become some impressive person if 200 or 300 years go by? Ridiculous. Even after 300 years, Iâll still die if I lose my head. Life is that simple.
Once people become foolish, they easily forget the fact that losing your head should be something you should always be cautious about first and foremost. Becoming foolish is a simple matter. It happens when people no longer think theyâre weak. Thereâs no fun in teasing people whoâre this dimwittedâŠâŠ.
Gamigin claimed that survival was the only thing with value. Despite saying this, she talked about her pride. I could only describe her as being carefree.
If I were Gamigin, then I wouldâve submitted to me fully.
I wouldâve acted as if I were charmed and waited until I revealed my weakness. Think about it. I would be getting flattered by the Rank 4 Demon Lord. No matter how cold-blooded I appeared, even I wouldâve been happy to be praised by someone of her stature.
However, Gamigin was sloppy. She chose to not be fully cooperative or fully hostile to me. She was being wishy-washy.
âStatusâ.
I opened one eye slightly and looked at Gamigin. A window soon appeared in front of me.
Î
ââââââââââââââââââââName: GamiginRace: Demon Lordăă Affiliation: Gamigin Demon Lord ArmyAttribute: Evil(-55)
Current thought: âIâve had enough of everythingâŠâŠ All of itâŠâŠ.âââââââââââââââââââââ
Î
I raised Gamiginâs affection towards me above 20 exactly a year ago.
At the time, Gamigin and I were doing rather well together. It may have started roughly, but we were business partners that exchanged necessary things with each other. Mixing in some sex every now and then naturally helped build our relationship further.
From my position, having the Rank 4 as my ally was incredibly reassuring. I naturally treated her kindly and carefully selected my words in front of her. After a while, her affection would go up by 2 to 3 points every month before finally going over 20 after a year.
It was slow but steady. Everything was proceeding smoothly.
The problem started at âthatâ point.
ââŠâŠDonât get close to Sabnak.â
We were lying on a bed together and basking in the afterglow of some intense sex. I was confused.
âPardon me?â
Sabnak was the Rank 43 female Demon Lord with no affiliation. She was on Agaresâ side when the internal discord occurred, so she had been careful around the Plains Faction lately. The way she would furtively beg for forgiveness was interesting, so I had spoken with her a few times.
âI didnât think she was a particularly impressive individual.â
âIf youâre going to get along with her, then go ahead. She was the first one to run away when things became unfavorable for Agares.â
âI see.â
I chuckled.
âAre you perhaps worried aboutâŠâŠ.â
Wait, I thought to myself.
Gamiginâs back was turned towards me, so I couldnât see what kind of expression she was making. Regardless, I felt an unknown chill wrap around me as I stared at Gamiginâs exposed white back.
What did Gamigin say just now?
She had just told me the information of someone who was once her ally in order to win a bit of my favor. Why? For what reason was she doing this?
If someone else were in my position, then they probably wouldnât have noticed. However, I could tell instinctually that Gamigin was trying to put me in her debt!
All relationships start to fall apart the moment emotional debt gets involved. I had done this much for the other party and showed them this much good faith, but I wasnât compensated appropriately. You have to repay me in kindâŠâŠ. Things become irreparable once a business relationship starts to break apart.
Barbatos and I were well aware of this.\nThus, we made sure to not be more considerate than necessary or be shown an unnecessary amount of consideration. All for the sake of not letting the other party hold any grudges. Prevent them from saying things like, âI did this much for you, but why are you only doing this much for me!?â
People arenât machines. However, they rust in a way as machines do. I could smell something metallic from the way Gamigin was behaving.
ââŠâŠYouâre worrying about me. Thank you.â
ââŠâŠ.â
A sound effect rang telling me that her affection had gone up.
Sure enough,
Things started to tilt to one side as time passed.
âMiss Gamigin. Wait, please wait!â
âGhâŠâŠ!â
âWhy are you acting this way? Damn it, were you bothered because I said I prefer Barbatos the most? Did you not promise to overlook that anyway?â
âGoâŠâŠgo away!â
Gamigin was clearly holding back her tears. Keeping her back towards me in order to not let me see her cry was probably the last bit of pride she had left as a Demon Lord.
It was then that I realized that I was treating the Demon Lord known as Gamigin incredibly lightly.
If you think about it, Gamiginâs mask had never shattered before meeting me. She had maintained her mask for more than a thousand years. It was easy to guess how sad and lonely she mustâve been.
Therefore, Gamigin was a complete amateur when it came to dating.
She may have gone out with many people and slept with them, but she probably never formed a proper bond with any of them. I was the first person she was dating without her mask on.
Thereâs no way that a girl like her could take hearing âyou will always be secondâ from me.
I judged her wrong. I thought that Gamigin would naturally also be proficient with these sorts of things since Barbatos, Sitri, and Paimon were all impeccable. I would have noticed sooner if I had paid more attention!
Thus.
I decided to play my ultimate card.
âIâll stop her from even thinking about putting me in her debt.â
âIâll completely suppress her with a massive debt firstâŠâŠ!â
I was the one who urged the archdukes to hold a banquet.
The first step of my plan was to have invitations only be sent to me and Gamigin among the Demon Lords. We were both wrapped up in a scandal and were mass producing more. We participated in the banquet like partners while in this scandalous state.
The archdukes wanted to flatter us Demon Lords and the perfect couple happened to be right in front of them.
It was predictable what kinds of questions they were going to ask.\nVisit wuxiaworld.eu for extra chapters.
âThenâŠâŠYour Highness, out of the female Demon Lords, who do you think is the most beautiful?â
âAah. Of course, Miss Barbatos is the most beautiful.â
I deliberately ridiculed her.
âOh. This wine is rather luxurious.â
I followed it up by nonchalantly talking about the taste of the wine to fan Gamiginâs anger further. Gamigin naturally couldnât bear to take this ridicule.
âI am going to step out for some air. It seems I have gotten too drunk tonight.â
I got up after a moderate amount of time had gone by. If Gamigin had been acting according to her emotions as I expected, then she would undoubtedly follow me.
âAh, me too~. My head is screaming at me to let it taste some fresh air.â
As expected, Gamigin obediently followed me to the private room. I almost laughed because of how smoothly my plan was going.
I took out my pipe after entering the room.
The herbs that I had put in my pipe werenât normal herbs. They were a type of anesthetic. I had been planning to stab myself from the beginning.
Iâd be insane if I stabbed myself while I could still fully feel the pain. Iâm a detail-oriented man.
It was a herb that made the sense of pain in oneâs entire body become dull. It might have been a side-effect, but it also made my face completely stiff, but that didnât matter. It was a situation where I didnât have to put a fake emotion on my face.
Once my body became dull enough, I took out a dagger without any hesitation and stabbed myself in the stomach. As expected, being under the effects of anesthesia didnât mean that the pain would be completely gone. It was just barely endurable.
âW-What are you doing!?â
Gamigin, who had no way of knowing what was going through my mind, panicked.
It wasnât a joke how panicked she was as she tried to heal me. I disemboweled myself knowing that Gamigin was an archmage and proficient at healing. There was no risk of my life being in danger.
And everything went as I planned.
âUh, guuhâŠâŠugh.â
ââŠâŠDantalian? Are you conscious now?â
Gamigin approached me. I caught a glimpse of her quickly wiping her tears away with a handkerchief. I shouldnât have to explain it, but I pretended to not notice something like that as I contorted my face as if I were in great pain.
âWhereâŠâŠ?â
âWeâre at my villa.â
Gamigin glared at me. I couldnât distinguish whether she was crying or feeling angry. People often made this expression whenever they felt bad but didnât want to apologize. I did that often with my mother.
âWhy the hell did you do something like that!? Do you know how much IâŠâŠ!â
ââŠâŠTo apologize.â
\nI struggled to answer.
Referentially, it really was hard. It was hard trying to pretend as if it were hard.
I looked straight into Gamiginâs red eyes as I spoke.
âIn order to apologize, to youâŠâŠugh, I had no other optionâŠâŠ.â
ââŠâŠ!â
Gamiginâs expression contorted further. That was what I wanted. Guilt. I was earnestly hoping for her to get swept up in that muddy feeling of guilt.
There was nothing better than guilt to make someone shrivel back. Now Gamigin wonât be able to declare that sheâs my lover in front of me. She was the very culprit that caused me to harm myself, after all. Itâd be great if she thought that.
ââŠâŠConsidering, my positionâŠâŠI made a vow to BarbatosâŠâŠ.â
I threw in another blow.
âIf itâs GamiginâŠâŠI thought that, you would understandâŠâŠ.â
ââŠâŠ.â
Tears immediately started to pool in the corners of Gamiginâs eyes. Now was the perfect time. I slowly closed my eyes as if I were too tired to keep them open.
One shouldnât watch when the other party is crying. I must remain as the victim alone. Thereâs no way Iâm going to let her use her tears to act as if sheâs the victim.
âIt seems, Iâm a little tiredâŠâŠIâmâŠâŠsorry, GamiginâŠâŠsorryâŠâŠ.â
My eyes gently shut.
Soon after, I heard the sound of Gamigin crying. It was clearly the sound of her blaming herself.
Of course, accepting all of Gamiginâs loneliness was an option. There was probably a path where we relied on each other completely, shared our emotions, and walked together.
But why do I have to go out of my way to choose that path?
Itâs the same with Barbatos as well, but I have no intention to be tied down by a single person. I plan to live comfortably even if Gamigin ends up living her entire life feeling guilty like this. People have to shoulder their own problems.
âUghâŠâŠuugh, hhgâŠâŠuuuhâŠâŠ.â
The sound of Gamiginâs crying sounded like a beautiful lullaby as I let myself actually fall asleep this time.
Mm, I worked hard today as well.
Authorâs Afterword
I dearly hope that none of my readers meet a bad man.
TL Note: Thanks for reading the chapter. I share the same hope as the author. I hope you guys donât meet bad people Nothing too much to comment. Life feels a bit hectic with my brotherâs wedding approaching and Iâm still trying to figure out my work situation. I donât exactly have a stable lifestyle at the moment⊠Hopefully I can figure something out after my brotherâs wedding.