/
Volume 7: The Reality of Running Away
Chapter 4: But That Was an Illusion
Table of Contents
Previous | Next
---
“……!?”
Ryner woke up to himself screaming soundlessly.
“…Uahh… wh, wh-what…”
He soon realized that it was all a dream.
He looked around. He was in a room in an in that was probably best described as cheap. All it had was a bed that was a little too short for him, a table, and a small cabinet. The white curtains were too cheap to block out much of the sun’s light at all. So the sun shone right on down to where Ryner lay.
He squinted his tired eyes and spoke in an equally tired voice. “I hate white curtains. They don’t work.”
If they were gonna use a cheap fabric anyway, why didn’t they at least use a color that’d block out some of the sun?
“Is it noon already? It must be if the sun’s already at my bed.”
Yes. It was already afternoon. But his hair was the perfect picture of ‘bedhead’ and his eyes were filled with sleep. His whole body was heavy with exhaustion.
He yawned, then looked back to where the sun was shining through the curtains.
“So the light’s what woke me up? Really? ‘It’s morning already. Get up.’ But take a look at this, Sun. Watch this killer assassin technique!”
He lifted his covers over his head and lay right back down.
“Whaddya think!? It’s my secret technique: ‘Aww, the sun feels so good that it makes me want to fall right back asleep… mmgh…’”
Then he gave up on talking to himself and closed his eyes again.
He always fell right back asleep with ease, but… he couldn’t today. Because of the dream he’d just had. Because of what Lucile had said to him last night. Or because of Sion’s…
“Haha.”
He laughed… at himself.
“That can’t be it.”
Right.
It was stupid to think that he couldn’t sleep because of Sion or Lucile.
He recalled what Lucile said. What he’d called him.
Monster.
“What kind of impossible dreams do monsters have?”
He didn’t have any dreams. Because he always understood that he was a monster, since the very beginning. He was a monster feared and loathed by all, a monster that nobody needed. So hearing that again now wasn’t particularly discouraging.
Ryner raised his head. He looked over at the wooden table. At the anonymous letter on it.
It listed three orders that Sion Astal gave to Luke Stokkart.
1. Find any Heroic Relics that the Alpha Stigma bearer Ryner Lute overlooks and fails to collect.
2. Monitor the Alpha Stigma bearer Ryner Lute.
3. Should the Alpha Stigma bearer Ryner Lute go berserk outside of Roland or show signs of betraying Roland, deal with him.
That was only natural, though.
Because he was a monster. And monsters were meant to be killed.
He knew that.
Lucile said it, too.
“You should already know. Monsters’ hands are already covered in blood. They can’t grasp anything…”
He knew that even without anyone telling him.
“And they can’t make it anywhere.”
He knew that… even without anyone telling him!!
“Geez,” Ryner muttered. “And then dreaming about that on top of everything… I’m so stupid…”
He didn’t have any memories from before he was five, after all.
But… to see that now, after all this time…
“So does that mean I’m supposed to be a noble? Haha. Man, what an embarrassing dream…”
His parents were there. He’d loved them.
It was like a dream his mind had only given him because it knew he wanted to see it.
“I…”
Ryner absentmindedly stared into nothing.
“That was just wish fulfillment, right?”
Just a dream that his head made up for him.
Ryner shook his head and smiled. “After all this time… I know it best out of everyone. I know that I’m not supposed to be standing by Sion, or by Ferris… or by anyone at all… I always come to love them, even though I should never be there in the first place.”
Because he’d kill them.
He did even if he didn’t want to.
He always killed the people he loved.
He knew that since the very beginning.
And yet.
Ryner smiled, but his eyes remained empty.
“…I’m seriously an idiot.”
“Mm. You’ve always been an idiot. You’re only just now realizing it?” A strangely emotionless voice asked. It was a voice he knew well.
She broke the door down. In its frame stood an impossibly beautiful woman, Ferris Eris. She looked at him just as emotionlessly as ever.
“Why are you still sleeping?” She asked. “We have urgent business to take care of.”
Ryner smiled bitterly. “Urgent? What do you mean? I never planned on doing anything.”
Ferris barged on in, despite never being invited. She opened the curtains wide and the sunshine came pouring in.
“Whoa, that’s bright.” Ryner glared at Ferris. “You tryin’ to kill me?”
“Killing a sex maniac of your caliber would only be doing the world good, Ryner Lute.”
Ryner’s eyes narrowed. “Oh… well, yeah. Actually you’re right,” he said and nodded.
Ferris looked back at him. “You were out doing the usual last night, weren’t you? Out striking fear into the hearts of Roland’s women and children until late…”
“Yeah, maybe,” Ryner said.
Ferris didn’t look too satisfied with that. “You’re not going to deny it?”
“Hm? Do you want me to?”
Ferris nodded with certainty. “It’s no fun if you don’t hate it.”
“What am I, your toy!?”
Ferris looked a little pleased to hear him yell. “Good. That crosses my first job of the day off.”
“What kind of job is that supposed to be? Geez.” Despite asking, Ryner knew that trying to get an actual answer was futile. “Well, whatever. What’s the urgent business you men—”
“You went to see my brother Lucile last night.”
Lucile… right.
Ryner had met him last night.
“…What the hell,” Ryner said. “Why’d you even bother saying I went to mess with women and kids if you already know what I was doing last night?”
“Mm. See, you two did it together—”
“Wh-wh-whaaat!? He does that stuff!?”
“Mm? Doesn’t it look like he does?”
“Hm, w-well, I wouldn’t say he doesn’t…? I mean, what I mean is that it’s not like—”
“So what did Lucile say?” Ferris asked.
And Ryner. Laughed. “Nothing,” he said. “He just said that he’s counting on me to have your back.”
“That’s all?”
“That’s all. We just met by chance. Oh, and he said to guard Sion in Estabul, too.”
“That!” Ferris suddenly said. “That’s our urgent business.”
“Our?” Ryner repeated and tilted his head. “Why am I a part of this? I told you, I’m gonna sleep all morning—”
“It’s already past noon,” Ferris said. “We don’t have much time. Our heinous king, Sion Astal, ignores the standards of reasonable labor and intends to take us to Estabul and use us.”
Ryner nodded in complete agreement. “So you’re sayin’ we better run before he takes us there?”
“Mm. So prepare yourself. Sion will send us money as long as we’re searching for Heroic Relics. First we’ll go to Runa, and then from there we’ll head to Cassla to put some distance between us and Roland.”
“I see. There’s a whole country between Roland and Cassla, so there’s no way he’ll be able to follow us there… so when are we leaving?”
“Tomorrow.”
“That soon!? Seriously!? Cassla’s pretty far, y’know! We really gotta prepare— ”
“We’re leaving tomorrow morning,” Ferris interrupted. “We’ll meet in front of Wynnit Dango.”
“Are you even listening to m—”
“It’ll be a long journey, after all. I have to buy lots of dango for it.”
“D-don’t tell me you’re planning on having me carry all your dango…”
“We’ll divide the load in half,” she said easily.
“How much are you buying!?”
She ignored his protests like always. “Anyway, prepare for travel and then sleep early. If, by chance, you’re late to our meeting…”
She touched the sword at her waist, then began to slide it out of its sheath. It made a high-pitched, metallic sound as it slid all the way out. She quickly re-sheathed it, so fast that Ryner never even saw the sword.
“…If you’re late,” she continued, “My sword will find your neck exactly that quickly.”
Ryner imagined his severed head flying through the sky. It might feel kind of good, actually…
“…I, I’ll try not to oversleep,” he mumbled.
“Mm. I’m going now. I have a duty to this country’s dango to eat it all before we leave tomorrow.”
With that, she left.
“…You’re pretty weird, you know,” Ryner whispered.
Ferris turned back. Apparently she’d heard him. “What do you mean?”
“Mm? I mean, you’re gonna eat all of Roland’s dango in a day.”
“Challenging the unknown is the highest level of dango’s teachings,” Ferris said, strangely proud of herself.
Ryner smiled. “Geez… you really are a weirdo. Y’know, a lot of what happened was a pain, but travelling with you was actually pretty fun.”
Ferris tilted her head, puzzled. “Mm? Are you saying that you’re grateful?”
Ryner nodded. “Yep, sure am.”
“Then can I trust you with all seven backpacks full of dango tomorrow?”
“S-seven!? You’re going to fill seven whole bags!? Man…”
He looked back at her with sleepy eyes. At her expression full of hope for him carrying all seven bags. Well, other people would probably still call it an emotionless expression… but Ryner could tell - she was going all-out, pinning all her hopes on this.
Carrying all the dango just didn’t feel like that big of a deal anymore.
Ryner smiled. Smiled but sighed. “Fine, I get it. I’ll carry them all.”
“Ooh!!” Ferris said. Her expression shone with even more happiness than before. “It looks like you’re starting to understand the way of dango, too. Then I’ll be sure to go to Wynnit Dango and buy fourteen backpacks full—”
“That’s more than we agreed on!” Ryner yelled.
But his voice fell on deaf ears. He was alone in the room again…
The door was open. So were the curtains. It was so bright that he was getting sleepy again…
Ryner smiled bitterly.
“……”
Words came to mind. He didn’t say them out loud, but he certainly thought them.
---
Ferris stood in front of Wynnit Dango the next morning. Fourteen dango filled backpacks surrounded her. She glanced down at them, then looked in the direction of the inn that Ryner was staying at. It was a pretty big road, but it was still early and few people were walking along it.
She’d already waited for twelve minutes.
She’d spent the first few chatting with the owner, so she hadn’t really minded, but then the owner returned to morning dango prep, so the remaining minutes passed awfully slowly.
Her eyes narrowed as she stared at the road that Ryner should come through.
“Five minutes. I’ll wait five more minutes.”
But five minutes soon passed.
She’d threatened to cut his head off if he was late, too…
She began to walk towards where Ryner was staying. His inn was pretty far from Wynnit Dango. It was possible that they’d see each other on the path there. She could forgive him if that was the case. Then she’d make him carry eight bags as punishment instead of the seven she’d meant to have him carry. That’d make up for it.
But that was only if she saw him on the way there…
She made it to his inn without ever seeing him. Ryner’s room was on the second floor. She climbed the stairs and slammed his door open without hesitation. “Ryner! How long were you planning on sleeping?”
But…
The bed was empty. Ryner had a habit of leaving his dirty clothes on the floor, but they weren’t there. And the bed was neatly made even though it was still so early.
“……Hm.”
---
Mountains of documents had piled up all around him.
Sion Astal gazed at them.
“This is too much work, even for me,” he said, exasperated.
He had noble silver hair and a symmetrical face. His golden eyes were willful, but showed clear signs of sleep deprivation… The lack of sleep wasn’t enough to dull their luster, though.
He was king of all Roland despite only being nineteen, and he was a workaholic to the point that his subordinates were in constant shock. Actually, he’d reached the point where he was shocking himself, too…
He was in his office, a plain room that had reached maximum capacity for paperwork. The things he had to do never seemed to stop coming. Their country wasn’t in a great place right now, after all.
Things were tense with neighboring Nelpha and Runa. Then there was Gastark to the north, which was currently exerting its influence on a number of other countries.
The sound of war was beginning to echo across the continent… so Roland had to find the power to stand up against the other major powers by the time the first shots were fired.
So they had to integrate Estabul’s military and nobility into Roland’s soon. He could leave the military to Claugh, but he’d have to go to Estabul himself for the nobility to listen.
So he’d been preparing to go. But…
He gazed at his paperwork, cradling his head in his hands. “Who can I leave this country to while I’m gone? That’s my biggest problem…”
There weren’t many people he could trust with a job that big.
He was Roland’s hero king, who’d risen to his place after accomplishing great things in the war with Estabul despite being an illegitimate heir to the previous king. He did it by leading a revolution with the military’s support. But the vast majority of his supporters from the revolution were common people, and he couldn’t very well have one of them act as king in his absence, and the actual high-ranking nobility hardly listened to a word Sion said… even worse, they seemed like they wanted a rebellion of their own one day.
He suddenly thought of one of his close confidants, Calne Kaiwel.
“Alright, Calne. You’ll be in charge of domestic affairs from today on!”
“Whaaaat!? S-sir, are you telling me to work for those annoying nobles!?”
Calne had been on the verge of tears as he objected then. But he took the job, and with it came a great deal of stress and conflict with the nobility. So he started sleeping with their wives.
“I-it’s serious, okay!”
He always said that to object to its immoral nature, but honestly, Sion couldn’t help but worry either way…
So he appointed Eslina, Fiole Folkal’s little sister, to work as his aide in hopes of getting him to stop. And it seemed like he did.
“…I sure am glad that I had Eslina come,” Sion mumbled to himself.
…Anyway, the majority of his trusted subordinates, and even everyone he trusted in the military were absolutely swamped with work right now. So hardly anyone was available to take care of things while he was gone.
Honestly, he didn’t have the faintest idea who he might feel best about leaving the country to at the moment.
“…There’s no way that Miller would accept even if I offered…”
He just got more stressed by the minute.
Froaude wasn’t completely out of the question, but… he’d probably kill every noble who opposed Sion while he was out of the country.
“…He attaches too much significance to efficiency, and he’s way too stubborn to ever change the way he does things…”
All in all, he was left where he started.
“What about Calne?”
Sion wrinkled his nose. If he told Calne to rule as king by proxy for a while, he’d get the same thing as before again…
“I-it’s serious, okay!”
And he didn’t want to hear that.
He had to really strain himself to think of anyone else who might be up to it, though.
He made his way through the documents before him with unreasonable speed as he considered it. He was working so hard. Why did the piles of paperwork never get smaller?
“……”
He looked around at his mountains of paperwork and sighed.
Then he suddenly felt someone’s presence outside the door. It was the presence of someone here to bring him even more work.
Sion had to give personal permission for someone to be able to open the door to his office, and there were only so many people who he’d given permission to.
He closed his tired eyes, then opened them again. When he did, they carried a noticeable glimmer. He forced a smile, too. He had to portray enough confidence for everyone to believe that he could make it through anything.
He raised his face from his paperwork, and made to ask what was wrong. But…
He heard a strange metallic sound, and then the door suddenly split into two.
It was a shocking site.
This was Roland Castle, home to the king. The security was as strict as it could get, and there was no one as protected as Sion was within Roland’s borders.
And yet someone had just cut the door to his personal office in two.
But since it happened…
“Welcome back,” Sion said. “It’s been awhile. Do you think you could tell me why you decided to cut my door in half for our reunion?”
A peerless beauty stood in the door frame. “Because I’m angry,” she said, her voice completely void of emotion.
Apparently she was angry!
“So you had to break my door because you’re mad?” Sion asked, tired.
Ferris nodded seriously. Then she entered his office, snooped around a little, and then moved on to search the adjacent bedroom.
“So he’s not here,” Ferris said, disappointed.
Sion tilted his head. “Err… what exactly are you talking about? I’d really like to hear an explanation here.”
Ferris met his eyes. “Ryner ran away.”
“…He ran away?” Sion repeated. He turned his head up to stare at the ceiling, ruminating on that phrase, before looking back to her. “What do you mean?”
“Exactly as I said. He’s not at his inn.”
“But that doesn’t mean that he’s run away—”
“He didn’t come to our meeting place this morning even though I promised to cut his head off if he was late. So I went to his room to cut his head off. But he wasn’t there,” she said. Her voice wasn’t her usual monotone. She sounded really irritated.
That was when he finally realized that she hadn’t come here to joke around. She was serious to the point that emotion was reaching her voice, something that very rarely happened.
So Ryner… ran away?
He suddenly felt his surroundings darken. It became hard to breathe.
Why?
He tried to understand it. But he just didn’t know.
What… why…?
“Hey,” Ferris said.
Sion raised his head. “Huh?” His breathlessness suddenly disappeared like it’d never existed in the first place.
“What’s wrong?” Ferris asked.
He didn’t really get what she was referring to. “Nothing,” he said. “I’m fine. I’m just… a little sleep deprived. More importantly, what was the state of his room?”
“…It was clean and orderly.”
“Even the bed?”
Ferris nodded.
“So Ryner must have left yesterday,” Sion said, considering everything carefully. “There’s no way he’d clean his room himself.”
“Mm. The inn’s owner said that he cancelled the rest of his stay yesterday, too.”
“So the owner is the one who cleaned his room,” Sion said and crossed his arms. “But why did he leave?”
“……”
Ferris was just as expressionless as always. She’d always been hard to read, but here and now he could tell that she’d lost her cool.
“You and Ryner promised to come to Estabul to guard me,” Sion said. “Did he run away because he didn’t want to?”
Ferris shook her head. “We don’t want to have to do whatever you tell us to so the two of us had plans to flee the country this morning.”
“And where did you plan on fleeing to?” Sion asked, exasperated.
“Cassla. We were going to continue the search for the Relics so you’d keep paying us, and use the money to buy all of the world’s dango.”
He just felt more and more tired. “A dango tour for two, huh? You two sure are close.”
“……”
Ferris didn’t say anything. Her expression didn’t show anything.
Sion internally clicked his tongue. This really wasn’t the time for that comment, was it?
Ryner had bailed on his promise to her and disappeared. He didn’t know exactly how she felt about that, but… she was probably hurt, right?
He looked at her expression a bit to try to figure it out. But it was too vague. He just didn’t know.
“And… he was a little off when I talked to him yesterday,” Ferris said.
Sion raised his eyebrows. “Off? How so?”
“He thanked me, and said he’d carry seven bags of dango—”
“S-seven bags? Of dango? What—”
“Anyway, he was just off!” She said firmly.
Sion stared at her for a while. “Hm. If you say so… then I do believe you. Were there any other changes? Like, anything unusual…”
Ferris closed her eyes for a moment as she thought back. “Apparently he met with my brother… with Lucile.”
Sion’s head snapped to the center of the room. “Lucile! What did you do?”
“……”
No answer.
But he should be there. He should be there protecting Sion while he was in Roland, even if he couldn’t see him. Because that was the kind of person he was.
“You’re there, aren’t you?” Sion asked again.
“……”
Again, no answer. Apparently he didn’t feel like answering.
But what if he really wasn’t there? Sion had no way of verifying.
He looked to Ferris, troubled. “Do you know if he’s here?”
Ferris shook her head. “I don’t know anything about him.”
“Yeah, I guess not.” Sion sighed. “So… what did Ryner say about Lucile?”
“Just… that they met. And that Lucile said that he wanted Ryner to be your guard.”
“Guard?” Sion repeated. He didn’t think there was any reason for Lucile to say that…
But they weren’t going to get any more details on Ryner’s disappearance as long as Lucile wasn’t in the mood to answer. So they had to think about the details they did have.
“So Ryner… left me,” Sion said. That was what it amounted to.
His eyes narrowed.
Why now of all times, though?
Sion had thought that he understood Ryner well. Not because they’d spent a lot of time together at school. It was because he’d researched his entire past.
He recalled the very first thing ever written about Ryner, a note by an instructor at the orphanage he’d been at.
Ryner Lute absolutely loathes himself.
He’s a monster who hurts people. A monster who nobody needs, who never should have been born, and he wishes that he hadn’t been so strongly that it makes him want to cry.
But that was in the past.
Sion had wanted him.
At first it was only because he wanted power. Power to revolutionize the country, to overthrow the king and the nobility. He’d thought that even the power of an uncontrollable monster was necessary.
But that too was in the past.
It didn’t take long for Ryner to mean something to him.
Sion loved the way Ryner thought. It was such a sweet, naive way of wanting to change their country, no, the whole world.
One could dirty their hands with blood, and still nothing would change. Ryner knew that. So he wouldn’t kill anyone. Ever. But that wouldn’t save anyone, either.
Sion knew that. But it was still so charming to him.
The sky that Ryner saw was different from the one Sion saw.
But still… still…
He’d still wanted Ryner.
Because it’d give some significance to his existence.
No… he had Ferris. He had Kiefer.
Ryner shouldn’t disappear now.
He’d done so much specifically to keep that from happening—
“Your Majesty! Your Majesty!”
A voice from the door broke his train of thought. It was the familiar voice of Lobitt, a blond teen who worked as a messenger for him.
Sion looked over towards him. The door should have been separating them, but Ferris had broken it down, so…
Lobitt looked at Ferris, then Sion. “Whoa, she’s a real babe… A, as expected of His Majesty. Pardon my intrusion…”
“You’re misunderstanding. That’s not what she’s here for. Tell me what happened.”
“Yes, sir! I have a letter from Marshal Claugh Klom in Estabul!”
“From Claugh? Hand it over.”
“Yes, sir!” Lobitt said and stepped in. His eyes wandered to Ferris and he turned bright red, handed Sion his letter, then hurried out. “That is all I had,” he said. “Please do call me whenever you need me.”
Sion nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”
“You’re quite famous, Sion.”
Sion smiled bitterly. “Well, I am the king. More importantly, I’ll send out a search party for Ryner. I’ll have them…”
He opened Claugh’s letter and was suddenly hit with a bad feeling. Because Claugh thought letters were a pain in the ass. Even if something came up and he had to send one, he usually tried to keep it as short as possible. And yet…
The size of this letter meant it wasn’t just a little something.
Ryner ran away. Claugh sent a letter.
Apparently the saying was true - when problems arose, it was never just one.
He looked at the letter. It wasn’t written in Claugh’s handwriting. Instead it was written gently and politely, likely by a woman.
Sion felt a bit reassured. The fact that Claugh had put his name on it but it wasn’t written by him meant that he’d had something else to attend to, and probably had Estabul’s former princess, Noa Ehn write it in his place. And if Noa was the one who wrote it, then she’d naturally be a little more detail-oriented than Claugh.
He read the letter, then grimaced.
“Something wrong?” Ferris asked.
“…An Alpha Stigma bearer has appeared in Estabul…”
“Show me,” she said and took the letter by force to read it.
Its contents were as follows.
A monster bearing the Alpha Stigma is razing Estabul. It is one that has awoken.
Claugh is attempting to eliminate it. If he should be successful, he will gain the full support of Estabul’s army.
Then there were a number of details about the surviving soldiers of Estabul, including a man by the name of Bayuz White…
In any case.
Apparently Claugh was currently trying to kill the Alpha Stigma bearer.
“This… can’t be Ryner, right…?” Ferris asked.
“It can’t be,” Sion said at once. “This letter came all the way from Estabul, and Ryner only left yesterday. The times don’t match up.”
“But the word ‘awoken’ here makes it sound like the one in Estabul isn’t just any Alpha Stigma bearer, right? And that implies a special type of Alpha Stigma—”
“Wait a second,” Sion said. “I don’t know what ‘awoken’ means here. And I didn’t know that there were types of Alpha Stigma bearers either?”
Ferris was quiet for a moment, considering her words. Then she spoke. “From what we gather, Ryner’s eyes aren’t normal ones.”
Sion nodded. The report about Ryner’s past had said the same thing.
A normal Alpha Stigma bearer couldn’t come back after going berserk once. But Ryner did. That’s why the military kept him as a guinea pig for so long.
Then there was the time that he saw Ryner go berserk with his own eyes. He’d decimated Estabul’s Magical Knights with ease then, breaking them like toys when in reality they were the strongest soldiers that Estabul’s military had.
Ryner had a power that humans were absolutely incapable of opposing. He was like a demon king in Sion’s eyes.
Normal Alpha Stigma bearers were probably different.
They too were probably capable of killing Magical Knights, but they wouldn’t be able to come back after that like Ryner had.
But that rule didn’t apply to Ryner.
Yes, it could just be a fluke. But it could also be significant…
Was that what the ‘awoken’ in the letter referred to? If it was someone with the same power as Ryner, then… Claugh would be the one who’d die. Claugh wasn’t capable of killing a berserk Alpha Stigma bearer on Ryner’s level.
They needed more information on Ryner’s Alpha Stigma…
“Geez… Where’s Ryner when you need him?” Sion grumbled. “We need to find him soon…” Then Sion shook his head and stood. “Ferris, I’m heading to Estabul. Neither Claugh nor that Alpha Stigma bearer can die. I’ll leave Ryner’s search party to you. Bring him to Estabul as soon as you find him.”
Ferris nodded. “Mm.”
Sion left the room. “Lobitt!” He yelled.
“Yes, sir!”
“Call Calne and Eslina!”
“Yes, sir!” Lobitt said and sprinted off.
Sion regretted it as soon as he said it. But he needed someone to take care of things while he was gone, like the search party with Ferris. And if Calne said the same thing he’d said back then now, Eslina would get mad at him for him…
So Sion prepared to leave for Estabul.
---
By the way, Sion’s worrying caused Calne, Ferris, and Eslina to meet.
It went… well.
“Anyway, I’m your guys’ master now,” Ferris said.
“Wow! You’re a total babe! Is it really okay to have me working with such a beauty, Sir Sion? Yay! You’re the best!”
“W-what!? Ah, w, well… you’re not wrong, but… b-but, I really hate you right about now, Calne…”
“……”
Sion held his head in his hands.