Shi Jin woke up to silence. He forced his eyes open, feeling as if they were full of sand, and tried to move, but found his limbs soft and without any strength.
Instead of disinfectant, he smelled the faint fragrance of shower gel.
He blinked and waited for his eyes to adapt to the darkness, wanting to look at his surroundings to determine where he was. He barely turned his head, however, and a face he couldnât be more familiar with appeared before him.
Lian Jun?!
He froze, eyes wide. It took him a while to digest the fact he and Lian Jun were lying in the same bed. Keeping an eye on the man to see if he moved, he nudged Xiao Si, âWhatâs going on? Why is Lian Jun sleeping next to me? Where are we?â
Xiao Si gushed happily,
The systemâs sugary tone disgusted Shi Jin so much his body regained a bit of strength. He looked at Lian Junâs face again and noticed faint shadows under his eyes. Remembering the manâs insistence on climbing down to pick him up personally despite sweating from the pain, his heart fluttered. He gingerly turned his limp body to lie on his side and gazed at Lian Jun. His eyes wandered over the handsome face. Somehow, he felt incredibly satisfied.
âYour Darling really is good-lookingâŠâ He couldnât help but sigh with feeling.
Xiao Si corrected him solemnly, our Darling!>
Our DarlingâŠ
Shi Jin chewed this over, a smile unconsciously creeping over his face. When he realized it, his expression froze, and he raised a hand to touch the corner of his mouth. His feelings became rather complicated. He looked at Lian Junâs sleeping face a moment longer, then closed his eyes and pulled the comforter over his head.
Xiao Siâs floating mood instantly crashed back to earth and became concern.
Shi Jin shook his head and pulled the comforter down. He kept silent for a while then said, âTell me, Xiao Si: if that time I didnât save Long Shi, would I have become a murderer? It was me who goaded Zuo Yang into throwing him into the sea, after all.â
This question stumped the system. It thought for a long time then replied, without confidence,
âThe end result might be the same, but Long Shi being killed by Zuo Yang and him dying because of my instigation are two entirely different things.â Shi Jin sighed heavily, looked at his hands, and continued, âI didnât think about it when I provoked Zuo Yang, I just wanted the opportunity to grab Long Shi. At the time, I wasnât one hundred percent sure I could save him, but I did it anyway because I had a hunch that if we left then, without him, we wouldâve lost our only chance to obtain the poison formula.â
Xiao Si couldnât help but call out, wanting to stop him from continuing.
Shi Jin, however, wouldnât let it goâhe refused to deceive himself. His downcast eyes were clear and full of self-reflection. âWhile I attended the police academy, my instructor told me although I had the skills, my personality was unsuitable for this line of work. I retorted that the police were just a group of ordinary people and he couldnât expect every one of them to have the personality he considered right. Later, when I began working, out of all the policemen in the district, I still seemed the least like one. My colleagues and supervisors kept saying I chose the wrong profession, but I wasnât convinced. I was sure I was doing quite a good job⊠But now I have no choice but to admit they were rightâI did enter the wrong line of work; I shouldâve never been allowed to take the Oath of Honor, Iâm not worthy. Long Shi is the scum of the earth, thatâs true, but I shouldnât have staked his life on a plan which success I wasnât sure of. Xiao Si, the last thing a police officer should do is treat someoneâs life with contemptâthis line canât be crossed, ever. And yet, this is exactly what I did.â
Xiao Si sniffled, trying hard not to cry. It said weakly.
âNo? I donât even dare imagine in what kind of mental state I would be in right now if Long Shi hadnât survived.â Shi Jin wiped his face with his hand. His eyes were filled with fatigue. âTo tell the truth, I donât regret a single thing I did yesterday. But, when I recall it now, I think I was crazy at the time⊠Iâm not saying all this because I canât get over what Iâve done, or to make you accompany me for a pity party, and I do admit that my actions werenât right⊠I just suddenly realized that in my heart, Lian Junâs life and death have become more important than my principles or scruples⊠Xiao Si, is this world really just a book?â
The system remained silent. Like every previous time heâd asked about this matter, it didnât reply.
Shi Jin smiled wryly and looked at Lian Junâs sleeping face. He couldnât help but lean closer, raise a hand, and touch his cheek, confirming that the man lying next to him was indeed a living person, warm and breathing. He changed his question: âThen at least tell me if Lian Jun is realâis he really nothing more than a character in a book? No, thatâs not right either, thereâs no mention of him in the original novel⊠Xiao Si, is Lian Jun real?â
This time, Xiao Si answered, and its tone was firm.
ââŠItâs enough.â Shi Jin let out a sigh and touched Lian Junâs face again. Just as he was about to withdraw his hand, the other man suddenly opened his eyes.
It took Lian Jun only a few seconds to go from confusion to clarity. He blinked, his long eyelashes resembling velvet fans, and murmured in a voice husky from sleep, âShi Jin?â
Shi Jin froze, and his rare melancholy mood flew away at once. He glanced at his hand, still on Lian Junâs cheek, and the almost nonexistent distance between them, remembered moving closer by himself, and his brain short-circuited.
There were not many things more embarrassing than copping a feel and being caught red-handed.
âUm, I wasâŠâ He tried to explain, but found that in reality, talking wasnât as easy as in his mind: his throat hurt and his voice was scratchy, grating like the sound of stone scraping on cement. Startled, he shut his mouth and tried to take his hand back.
But Lian Jun quickly caught it and pressed it back to his cheek. Then he leaned forward to touch his forehead to Shi Jinâs.
Shi Jin stiffened even more. Unconsciously holding his breath, he looked at Lian Junâs face so close to his, felt his breath, and the conclusion heâd just reached flashed through his mind once again: the life and death of the person in front of him was more important than anything.
For this man, he did something he would never have done. Though realizing it made him feel guilty and engage in soul-searching, he didnât regret his actionsâif he were to go back in time and do it all over again, most likely, he would still choose to gamble Long Shiâs life on a chance for Lian Junâs recovery.
Iâm a selfish, despicable bastard, he thought, yet at the same time, he couldnât help but drag his other arm from under his body and, fumbling, got his arms around the other manâs waist. He hugged him as tightly as he could, burying his face in his chest.
Something was definitely wrong. Yesterday, though his body was cold and hurting, it was but a mere annoyance compared to the pain he felt while listening to Long Shiâs narrative. Hearing about everything Lian Jun had suffered in the past, all he wanted was to hug and comfort him. Something had changed, and things would never go back to how they were.
Lian Jun froze for a second, shocked, then hugged him too as if it was the most natural thing to do. Rubbing his back, he asked, âDoes it hurt very much? Uncle Long said that although your fever went down, most of the muscles in your body have been strained to varying degrees and will need time to heal. You need to take it easy for a while.â
Heâs really gentle. He didnât push me away even though I grabbed him so rudely all of a sudden.
Shi Jin felt he was probably already doomed. He shook his head, tightened his hug, and forced himself to fall asleep in Lian Junâs embrace, just like yesterday.
Think of it as a dream.
âGoodnight,â he whispered, tasting the sweet tang of self-deception on his tongue.
Lian Jun stroked his back one last time. He looked down at the head buried in his chest, rubbed his chin against the dark hair, and whispered warmly, âGoodnight⊠Get well soon.â
If youâre seeing this notice, youâre reading this chapter on pirate site â the original translator of Death Progress Bar is Betwixted Translations.
After the beautiful dream, it was time to face cruel reality. Shi Jin laid in bed, thirsty, hungry, and urgently needing to visit the bathroom, yet unable to move. On top of that, his whole body hurt; today, he bore absolutely no affection for the world.
âYour Darling is so cruelâhe actually left the patient alone,â he complained tearfully, aggrieved.
Xiao Si protested.
Shi Jin hit the pillow with the back of his head, wailing, âI want to go to the bathroom!â
The system wanted to cry.
âI canât sit up! Thereâs no strength in my body!â Shi Jin continued to hit the pillow with his head.
Xiao Si suggested helpfully.
âHow could I!â Shi Jin let out a heartbreaking cry, his voice resembling that of a chicken being strangled. âJust look at your Darling! That face, those white handsâdo you have the heart to ask him to help me go to the bathroom?! Do you?! Can you bear to let his beautiful eyes see my⊠That place!â
Xiao Si felt both vexed and delighted, its mood quite complicated. It retorted, voice breaking, Â In fact, heâd probably be happy to see the little JinJin!
âYou can, but I canât!â Shi Jin retorted. Then, he caught the sound of the closing door and rolling wheelchair and instantly forgot to squabble with Xiao Si. He fixed his gaze on the ceiling, putting the expression of âeverythingâs fine, I donât need to pee at all, nope, Iâm coolâ on his face.
Lian Jun moved his wheelchair next to the bed and watched Shi Jin in silence.
Shi Jinâs eyes began to trundle. He wanted to see Lian Jun, but at the same time felt too shy to look at him. Add to that his urgent physical need, and his face slowly contorted.
Really ugly.
Lian Jun admired Shi Jinâs expression for a moment, supported himself on the wheelchair armrest, and stood up. He pulled down the comforter, leaned forward, and reached into the gap between Shi Jinâs neck and the pillow to lay his hand under the teenagerâs shoulders. The other went to below his knees.
Shocked, Shi Jin grabbed his hand to stop him. âNo, donât princess-carry me!â Thatâs way too humiliating!
âYouâre too heavy for me to carry,â Lian Jun replied bluntly. He helped the teenager sit up as he spoke and gestured to the wheelchair: âWeâll use this.â
Shi Jinâs expression frozeâit turned out Lian Jun wasnât going to carry him⊠Suddenly, he was a little disappointed.
Lian Jun pushed the wheelchair to the bathroom, lifted the toilet lid, and helped Shi Jin stand in front of the toilet.
At this point, all Shi Jin wanted was to urinate, but he gritted his teeth and didnât move.
Lian Jun gently touched his back and coaxed, âCome on, pee, donât hold it in. I promise I wonât look.â After that, he really turned his head away, facing the door.
Shi Jin never imagined one day he would hear the word âpeeâ from Lian Junâs mouth, and his heart surged with mixed emotions. He raised a last desperate struggle to save his dignity: âCan you go out, please? I can manage by myself.â
âYou canât stand alone,â Lian Jun ruthlessly refused.
Shi Jin tried to put strength into his muscles and found out that sadly, the other man told the truth. He put a hand on his waistband, hesitated, and couldnât help pleading, âThen can you at least cover your ears?â
âIt was me who changed you into pajamas. Including your underwear,â Lian Jun retorted, mercilessly exposing the truth Shi Jin had suspected but desperately tried not to think about.
Dear Lord.
Unable to hold on any longer, Shi Jin clenched his jaw, untied the pajama pantsâ drawstring, and pulled them down in one determined move.
Tinkle-tinkle-plink, splooshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhâŠ
The time spent in the bathroom seemed extraordinarily long. When Shi Jin finished what he needed to do, washed his hands, and was pushed out of the bathroom, he felt as if at least ten years had passed. He just wanted to die.
âLater, Uncle Long will come give you a check-up. You canât eat anything before thenâyou have to endure.â Lian Jun helped Shi Jin lie down again. After that, instead of returning to his wheelchair, he sat on the bed and reached out to smooth the younger manâs hair. âThis evening, weâll make landfall in M country. Your bodyâs condition is strange, itâs best you have a detailed examination in a hospital as soon as possible. You grew up in M country, right? If you want, when you are well, I can accompany you to your old home.â
The hand stroking his head made his eyes narrow in comfort. He glanced sideways, and the tender look in Lian Junâs eyes made his heart itch. He couldnât help asking, âWhy are you so good to me?â
Lian Jun returned his gaze. âYouâre good to me, so shouldnât I treat you good as well?â He replied, withdrawing his hand.
So itâs reciprocation? Shi Jinâs heart was suddenly sore and tired. He uttered weakly, âWhereâs my tablet, Jun-shao? I want to play mahjongâŠâ Only mahjong could soothe his fragile soul, so maltreated by reality.
Xiao Si groaned, weary with lifeâsome people, though they seemed smart, were, in fact, complete idiots!
Lian Jun saw his pale, pitiful-looking face, and the corners of his lips pulled down. After a moment of silence, he said, âAll right, but you canât play for too longâyou need to rest.â
Shi Jin nodded hurriedly, not noticing the other manâs expression. His mind was already occupied by mahjong.
Mahjong was addictive. Shi Jin was soon absorbed in playing, briefly forgetting about both his physical suffering and his oscillating emotions. He didnât even know when they arrived at port.
On the gurney, he was moved off the ship and into the already waiting ambulance. Then, he was taken to the hospital and went through a comprehensive physical exam. By the time it ended, and he was safely tucked in the bed of a private ward, midnight had passed.
Lian Jun accompanied him the whole time. When Shi Jin settled down, he went to the bathroom and washed briefly. After coming out, he didnât leave but went straight to the foldable bed someone who wanted to accompany the patient could use, and slowly and gingerly laid down.
Shi Jin was already dozing off, but the movement woke him up. âJun-shao, you should go to the hotel and have a proper rest. Iâm fine, you donât need to keep watch,â he said, frowning.
âSleep.â Lian Jun ignored his words. He was lying on his side, facing him, and his voice seemed exceptionally gentle against the darkness of the night. âCall me if you need anything. Goodnight.â And he closed his eyes.
Shi Jin stopped speaking. He studied Lian Junâs face, which was even more pallid than usual due to tiredness. In a complex mood, he couldnât help but sigh. âXiao Si, your Darling is really a fine man,â he said in his mind.
The systemâs voice was unnaturally stiff.
Shi Jin, preoccupied with his own thoughts, didnât notice anything wrong. He felt a little shy, a little uneasy, as well as self-doubt and uncertainty at the same time. âI think I⊠Towards himâŠâ
Xiao Si, who learned nothing from its previous experiences, couldnât help but prompt him expectantly,
âOh, I, itâs⊠â It was the first time Shi Jin felt this way about someone, and his emotions fluctuated violently. Recently, Lian Jun has been acting a bit weird, hasnât he? Do you really think itâs simply him âacting weirdâ? Just step up and tell himâyouâre a big guy, what are you afraid of? âŠNo, but what if it ruins our friendship? I donât want him to distance himself from me. His thoughts kept going around in circles like a merry-go-round. This continued for quite a while until his eyes fell closed and he drifted off to sleep, never finishing his sentence.
Xiao Si:
Ah! Aaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! â Sounded the scream of its heart.
After the examination results were out, the hospitalâs doctor came to the same conclusion as Uncle Long: Shi Jinâs muscles had different degrees of strain, which was probably caused by irregular motion and overexertion. Heâd recover, he just needed attentive care during convalescence.
Lian Jun frowned. He saw the doctor off, then approached the hospital bed.
Shi Jinâs nerves tightened as soon as he saw him comingâhe was afraid the other man would ask just how his muscles became strained that way. He decided if Lian Jun really asked, heâd try to bluff his way out and pretend to have no idea.
âIt should be caused by irregular swimming posture and sudden high-intensity exercise,â Lian Jun said unexpectedly, directly finding Shi Jin an excuse. He stroked the teenagerâs forearm and asked, âDoes your body hurt?â
It sure did, especially the waist and legs which the mermaid buff affected the mostâenough that he wanted to cry. However, facing Lian Junâs concerned gaze, Shi Jinâs body wasnât painful but strangely itchy. He felt an urge to crawl into the other manâs arms and snuggle.
Reflexively, he reached for Lian Junâs hand on his forearm and squeezed it gently. A second later, he realized heâd just âmolested his bossâ and froze.
âThe doctor says he needs to observe the situationâfor the first two days, youâll have to wear bandages. Youâll also apply a few hot compresses, and be given massages. It may be a little uncomfortable.â Lian Jun held his hand and pulled up the blanket with the other, his actions extremely natural. âDo you want to play mahjong again? I brought your tablet, itâs fully charged.â
Treated so gently, Shi Jinâs mind stirred again. He darted a look at their clasped hands, edged a bit closer to Lian Jun, and asked, âJun-shao, um, do you have somebody you like?â
Lian Jun paused in the middle of tucking him in. He raised his head, stared at the teenager for a long time, and gave a slight nod.
Shi Jin felt as if his heart was thrown into an ice house. He gaped at him incredulously and stammered out, âYou, you do? Really? Who is it? Itâs not Long Shi, is it?!â Speaking of the traitor, his voice changed.
âDonât be stupid.â Lian Jun frowned, pulled his hand from Shi Jinâs hold, and knocked on the young manâs forehead. âThink again.â
âThink again,â you say?!
Shi Jin struggled to stifle the pain in his heart and forced his mind to work. He asked with difficulty, âIs it Gua Two? Heâs good-looking, capable, pretty funny tooâŠâ As he spoke, he became increasingly certain that the person Lian Jun liked had to be Gua Two and immediately grew despondent.
Itâs hopelessâcompared with Gua Two, I amâŠ
Lian Jun caught all the changes of the teenagerâs expression, and a bit of unhappiness caused by his wild guesses faded. âShi Jin, you are really stupid,â he said.
Yeah, yeah, of course, Iâm nowhere as smart as handsome, talented Gua TwoâŠÂ Shi Jin thought sullenly, about to indulge in self-loathing.
Finally, Lian Jun could endure watching his foolish, pitiful appearance no longer. He got up and leaned forward, cupped his face in both hands, and crushed his lips in a kiss, nipping at them to vent his anger.
Xiao Si:
Shi Jinâs eyes opened wide. He reflectively grabbed Lian Junâs clothes.
Lian Jun pulled back a bit, gently pinched his stiff face, and uttered coldly, âShi Jin, if you try to fool with me again at this point, weâll fly back to B City tomorrow.â
Shi Jin felt dizzy. Eyes glued to the other manâs lips, he asked, âBack to B City? Why?â
âTo register marriage in the Bureau of Civil Affairs, of course,â Lian Jun replied, rubbing his lips. He sat back in his wheelchair, picked up an apple from the bedside cabinet, and began to peel it slowly.
Shi Jin formidable brain circuitry made him focus, yet again, on the wrong issue. He touched his lips, a bit swollen from the kiss, and asked, eyebrows wrinkled, âIs same-sex marriage even allowed in China?â
Xiao Si:
Ah, happiness is fleeting, and some peopleâs obtuseness is impossible to be cured.
Lian Junâs hands paused. He looked up, took in Shi Jinâs confused, silly-looking face, and said, âFor quite a long time.â
Really? This worldâs China legalized same-sex marriage? And for a long time already?
Pleasantly surprised, Shi Jin felt as if his heart was filled with pink bubbles⊠which never managed to fly out. He continued, still missing the point, âOh, but itâs impossible anywayâyou have to be 22 to marry, and Iâm not even nineteen yet. Itâs useless even if you take me back to China, you know?â
Crunch.
Lian Junâs hand slipped, and the peeling knife cut deep into the apple. After a long pause, he continued the move and sliced off a piece of pulp exactly the size of a bite. Expressionless, he stuffed it into Shi Jinâs mouth and said, âShut up and finish eating, then sleep.â
âButâŠâ Shi Jin swallowed the apple and opened his mouth, still wanting to speak.
Lian Jun reached out, grabbed his chin, and kissed him again.
And so, the world fell quiet, and the pink bubbles could finally dance in the air.