When would it be? When would he ever get to be happy?
Assisi was in tears while his fatherâs whispers would always go around his head .
âIf you become kind, you can . â
Thus, Assisi tried to be kind . He listened well, didnât cry, and endured every pain given to him . He just held on . All because he wanted to be happy .
Looking back at it now, he realized how desperate he had been, but at that time, it was the only truth Assisi knew . If he chose not to believe those words, there was no other way he would have lived . Even when everyone denied that method of living, he clung to it .
If that werenât true, then he had nothing left .
No matter how painful and difficult times were, he never accepted othersâ love . He didnât want to believe that truth, which was really true . Everyone tried to tell him, but he couldnât get himself to believe it .
Why was he even alive if he wasnât loved?
No matter how good and kind he was, he never felt happy .
As if making fun of Assisi, happiness always fled to places he couldnât reach . Thus, he gave up on happiness .
After that, everything felt comfortable .
Then, Caitel, who had been burned to death at thirteen, returned at nineteen .
Caitelâs rebellion spewed a bloody scent on the former Agrigient country . Assisiâs father was swept away by the madness and sword in Caitelâs hand .
It was an effortless task to kill down the women who never held a sword in their hands . Assisi never knew that his father, who was always looking and wanted his mother back, would kill her . By the time Assisi went into his motherâs room, the deed had been done .
Soaked in her blood, Assisiâs father greeted .
âCome one now . Iâll send you with her . Letâs all go away together!â
Raising his sword could prevent it, but the man was his father, way older than Assisi, a man experienced in the blade . Meanwhile, Assisi couldnât lift his weapon .
âYou are a cursed child . You will take everyone to hell . Even if you die, this wonât end . You are the devil himself!â
He thought that it couldnât be true . No, he was dissatisfied with everything . Was he really a cursed child who made his parents unhappy? Was that why his father and mother were apart? Was it all his fault? He tried to deny it, kept on denying it .
However, the sight before him destroyed everything . Misfortune everywhere: things were hard to get used to . The pain felt so familiar . He could feel himself alive despite his burning skin .
The sight which unfolded right in front of him was fierce .
When he woke up, his father or the sword was no more . Only a man on the ground, holding his mother .
Caitelâs low voice . As he lifted his head, he only saw Caitel gasping for breath in a pool of blood .
It didnât matter that he cut down his father . Too much had happened to care about it .
âThere is no reason for you to die . â
They didnât mind the blood around them; that was when Caitel spoke to the silent Assisi .
âWhy die in the hands of that human, stupid . â
A red blood dripping blade on the ground .
The sight made Assisi miserable .
It didnât matter what happened . Even if Assisi died, he wouldnât regret the moment .
Because that was his life, and death didnât scare him at all .
However, the fact that he wasnât loved cut him deeper than a sword . He felt so hurt that he forgot to feel pain .
âWhy am I the only one alive?â
âHow would I know that?â
An indifferent and cold response .
Assisi shook his head . He didnât know, but there was one thing he understood .
He lifted his fatherâs sword on the floor . The blood-soaked sword was in a disgusting shade of red . Caitel felt nervous but didnât move to take him down . He wasnât trying to commit suicide; he wanted to die, but he couldnât .
Because he knew that if he died, he would never be saved .
Assisi dropped the sword and knelt on the ground .
âI will be Your Majestyâs knight . I will pay for the sins of my parents on this earth . This is a life Your Majesty saved, so please use me . â
His reason to live was gone, but he couldnât die .
âSo I pay for my sins . â
Tears fell from both their eyes .
He thought that he wouldnât be accepted . He believed that a dirt-covered kid like Assisi would never be acknowledged . However, Caitelâs answer came as a shock .
His lord, who neither pushed nor approached anyone .
Such a man had held Assisiâs hand .
âBut if you are with me, you will never be saved . â Said Caitel .
Assisi raised his head while still holding onto Caitelâs hand .
âEven if I will never be saved . I will use my life for you . â
A warm hand comforted him .
Hadeian calendar 519, 16th of July, by Ferdel .
We donât know if our Ria is a genius or a criminal .
Sometimes she would have brilliant ideas, but her immaturity shows when I placed her vision into practice .
Caitel thought his child, Ria, is some kind of genius .
Hadeian calendar 526, 16th of September, raining .
I donât know how long I have been writing down this diary . Sometimes, the Prime Minister is a small role, but this small role is a massive change for His Majesty .
Hadeian Calendar 528, 12th of May, stormy winds are blowing .
I am just happy that Ria is growing up . I feel bad since she doesnât have a birth mother with her, but seeing the princess follow me around, I feel bad for her . When she was young, she wouldnât even eat her meal with me beside her, but now she is growing into an adult without meâŚ
Hadean Calendar 528, 6th of June .
⌠Caitel stupid bastard .
-diary of an unknown person found inside the palace-
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