The feeling of being in someone elseâs arms was strange.
When I was lonely, wanted to cry, and wanted some emotional affirmation, only then would it feel so comfortable and cozy. However, just like in the case now, when I was so bored to the point where I wanted to go outside and have some fun then itâs not so uncomfortable. In fact, it was all too annoying. Not to mention, the warmth could feel a bit consoling, but it could be quite unpleasant too.
Oh, so what I was trying to say isâŚ
I want to sit alone!!!
âI, I am so jealous.â
Ferdel shook his hands and looked at me. Whatâs wrong with him this time? As I tried to wriggle in Caitelâs arms with my face as if I had lived for the last two years of my life, Ferdel wiped away some tears in his eyes. Oh, by the way, Dad, could I sit alone? Your arms were very annoying. I was not a toddler anymore. Did he really have to be so overprotective of me like this?
Oh, wait. I was just two years old. Shit, that might explain it.
âAh, Ria.â
Oh, no. It started again. As I thought, Ferdel wiped his tears as he held his hands. Ugh.
âHow could she be so lovely? Sheâs like an angel in disguise!â
Why was my instinct always ended up to be true? This time, I was very lucky to be in the arms of Caitel, so I turned my back on Ferdel. Sigh.
Hey, that level of endearment is considered criminal. Of course, I knew I was irresistibly cute and pretty, but he shouldnât love me that much. He should wake up! I was already with my dadâŚ
I couldnât make you my father!
Oh, I suddenly wanted to see Silvia. Obviously, I met Ferdel earlier than her, but I loved Silvia more. Hah, this was the difference in favor among races. Silvia and Serrira were species called mothers. One couldnât beat mothers.
When I had come to think of it, it truly was strange. After all, Silvia was 22, so she was younger than I before I died. Strangely, she was like a mother to me nevertheless. A very nice mom. Was it simply because of her aura? Of course, the different level of vision by height had affected this conclusion I made. Well, now I was really treating Serira as my own mother. Oh, anyway itâs so boring. I wanted to sit alone!!
âPapa.â
I clung to Caitel.
âLet me go now. Please? Let me go, you punk.â
I even punched him in the chest, but Caitel just looked down at me casually and turned his gaze right back to his paperwork.
âHey, donât ignore me!â
I was in his arms but I just kept getting ignoredâŚ
How did I end up like this?
I looked at Cito Caitel gave me earlier. How could I play with this? I was not even a real baby! Ha, I shouldnât have been running around like a crazy lady. Sob Sob.
âBoo hoo!â
A few moments ago, itâs been a while since I last visited Caitelâs lounge, so I started to run around but fell over. Of course, I fell and got my knee ripped off. Looking at that, I just thought I got hurt or sick often these days. However, all children got hurt at least once when they grew up. Right? I was the only one who didnât think it was a big deal.
It hurt, but I thought it would be okay because I didnât cry, but I was the only one thinking that way. Ever since then, Caitel trapped me in his arms to stop me from running away.
God damn it, at least let me sit alone! I had tried to argue, but it didnât work. In the end, I gave up and sighed, leaning against papaâs chest with the face of an old man who almost finished their life. Ah, I was so bored.
âCaitel.â
âWhy?â
Ferdel then came in, saying he had an issue to report. For some reason, Caitel was very grumpy about his appearance, but Ferdel didnât mind. Thus, this is the situation. Oh, itâs boring. It was a real pain to be stuck in my fatherâs arms. In the past, there used to be a thrill of whether dad would kill me or not. However, not anymore! No!
Now I felt like he would never let me go unless I stabbed him in his waist. Oh, I didnât know anymore. I should have just gone to the garden. Why did I decide to come to the office? Sob, sob.
At that moment, Ferdel opened his mouth with a serious face.
âCanât I have a princess sit on my lap, too?â
⌠that was the question he asked so seriously?
âNo.â
Caitel immediately refused as if it was not even worth thinking about. Heâs in the same boat as I was. Sob, sob.
âHey, cheer up, dude! And Iâll cheer up too.â
Ferdel, who asked with little to no expectations, stood firm in his position.
âPapa-â
I said with a sweet voice. The same voice I used in my previous life to get something I wanted. However, Caitel looked down at me once and refused with a cold heart.
âYou too, no.â
Ah, he didnât even know what I was going to ask for!
âPapa!â
âNo.â
Hey, this crazy bastard, I hadnât said anything yet! Whatâs wrong with him? Stop stopping me!
âI want to sit by myâŚâ
âNo.â
Did I just felt a murderous intent? I thought I knew why people killed people.
This bastard.
I just crossed my arms and sighed. Hey, I was a lot bigger now, so I should be heavier, right? I was really heavy! Very heavy! Were you not heavy when you were the same age as I? Oh, how did I end up like this? My heart bled.
Ever since I got really sick from a cold last time, a lot had changed. After that day, Caitel would never let me do what I wanted if Seria said no. Thatâs too much! Secondly, he wouldnât let me stay outside for too long. Most of all, if I got hurt for even a little bit, he would get overprotective of me like this.
I was 25 years old! I didnât deserve to be trapped like this! What was happening! Huh?!
Since all I could do was to look at Caitelâs face and wiggle around his arm, I caught his hair instead to have a bit of fun. I wonder if dad found it annoying when I pulled his hair like this? However, the only feedback heâs giving me was no feedback at all. I would show him what itâs like to play alone. His red silver hair shone beautifully in my hands.
Since I was bored, I would start braiding his hair. I would braid it in a star shape!
âSo, what are you reporting about?â
âYouâll know everything about it if you read my report. What else do you want me to say?â
âThen get out.â
Heartless Caitel. He was his only friend. He shouldnât be too harsh to him! I tugged his hair and told him to use better words. However, it didnât work even for a bit to Caitel. Just turning it over like I was messing around with my hair⌠Oh, being ignored by him was such a sad thing.