I heard my mom was a princess of a kingdom in the north somewhere.
She was called Zerina, but that was not her true name. Her name was originally from the northern lands and had a harsh tone to it. Unfortunately, her name was erased when she was sold off to the Emperor and dragged to the palace to spare her kingdom from complete annihilation. Therefore, she received a new name in this foreign land, and that name was Zerina. As such, she was then referred to as Princess Zerina.
âAriadna is too long for a name.â
It was morning and Elaine felt bothered by my name for no apparent reason. I just looked away as I sucked on my pacifier furiously.
âShould we call her Ria or Ana for short?â
They both sound weird. I tried to show my displeasure the best I could but my opinion was completely disregarded. I guess thatâs what itâs like to be a child. âJust because youâre young you get no say in the world. What a shitty world!â
âThen, letâs go with Ria.â
âYeah, that one does sound better than Ana, but I hate both of those names!â I cried inwardly as I sucked on my pacifier.
*Suck Suck Suck*
âAh, to think this tastes delicious! Itâs all over for me. There no denying it, I am truly a baby.â
âPrincess Ria.â
Elaine couldnât hold herself back as my nurse was trying to burp me after feeding me. My face winced as soon as I saw her face. âI said I didnât like you. Yes, you.â
âCanât you see how much she dislikes it?â
âYou are my Superman!â Nanny was a magician who could read my mind. Sheâs just like my mommy.
âHo ho ho! Cerera, I only have you.â
I tried to act cutely by rubbing my cheek against her and threw my body into her embrace. This was apparently a great shock to Elaine. She puffed up both her cheeks and blew a raspberry like a kid.
âThe Princess is only mean to me!â
âItâs not that I hate you, but I find you a bit annoying.â I was also a bit envious that her body size was bigger and she could chat away. Cereraâs face grew stern as Elaine kept whining excessively. Elaine instantly shut up at the sight of her cold expression. âNow that I think about it, I am technically a Princess, why do I only have this one maid?â In some ways, my situation was also quite negligible.
âWell, If I think about it, should I have another servant, wouldnât my irritation be doubled?
So yeah, this is way better.â
âItâs quite fascinating that she never cries in front of his Majesty. Well, she usually never cries, but stillâŚâ
âEven if sheâs young, she can recognize him .â
Their gazes were entirely upon me, so I let out a loud burp and gave them a huge smile.
It was almost by instinct at this point.
âThe fact that he is her fatherâŚâ
âUm, howeverâŚ
I do recognize him, but not just by instinct. I donât like the feeling of being named as some sort of genius baby who can find her father just by instinct alone. This kind of mistaken acknowledgment is not right!â
âWhatâs wrong? Are you feeling uncomfortable?â
My nanny was worried as she misunderstood the reason behind my whining.
âHah, no, itâs fine⌠Iâll just take care of my own problems.â
However, nanny kept checking my diaper and picked me up to make sure everything was comfortable. I could see that she had good skills in terms of taking care of young children. Every movement was patient and gentle. She was obviously not a first-time mom.
ââŚSeriously.â
After getting comfortable in nannyâs arm, I sucked on my pacifier. This pacifier is truly a symbol of babyhood. At first, I was like, âWhy would anyone want to suck on this?â But actually, it helps when Iâm bored.
âShe looks nothing like the Princess.â
As soon as Elaine spoke, Nannyâs face darkened. I kept on sucking as I observed both of their serious expressions.
âWhatâs wrong, you guys?â
âShe doesnât have golden hair nor green eyes. Not even the aspect ratio of herâŚ.â
âOh. Itâs just my appearance. Look, I am a life form born just a couple weeks ago, what is the point in discussing who I take after or how I look?â I know I probably also repeated this stupid routine in front of other babies in the past. Now that I am a baby this whole thing looks ridiculous. âThatâs right, from a babyâs viewpoint you look like an idiot.â
âWhy do you think she did that?â
Elaine looked somewhat depressed. âWas she sullen because I kept rejecting her?â I thought she was high spirited so she wasnât the type to get hurt easily. I wondered if I should just play with her, even if I found it annoying, until I felt sleepy. Then, I closed my eyes when I heard my nannyâs voice.
âHow could we understand her reasons?â
They always discussed the same things over and over. It was either about me or my parents.
Since I had to lie here and listen to the same conversations for the past week I immediately knew what they going to talk about â it was about Keitel, that crazy Emperor.
That crazy bastard killed every woman that had his child. Of course, they technically started it by trying to get something out of him. You could even say that they had it coming by trying to leech off of their unborn child. But no matter what the reason was, the fact that crazy guy killed all of them doesnât change. There were also some women who tried to hide and bear the child in secret, and yet he somehow found them and then he would cut the baby out of the mother alive.
âWhat a crazy fucker!â
When I first heard about this, I kept wondering, âHow could a man just carelessly throw away his own children!â Then I started to have serious thoughts about my own lifeâŚ
The conclusion I came up with was, âIf youâre going to kill me, then kill me painlessly!â
Yeah, I know. Iâm pretty pathetic.
âItâs just that the EmperorâŚâ
With a heavy face, nanny caressed my cheek. When I glanced at her expression, I gave her a cheerful smile. She immediately gave me a gentle smile back.
â I just pray he has enough affection left in him to love such a small child.â
âAffectionâŚ
Thatâs too high a hurdle for him. There no way he has that emotion.
AhâŚ
Heâs the type of guy who can kill the women who have his child. The most likely reason he would be able to do that would be due to his level-headedness and overly cool mind. Instead of hoping for affection from a guy like that, I would rather waste my hope on more realistic things such as praying to the heavens for rain during a severe drought.â
Heâs the kind of guy that doesnât even care about his own parents, much less own his siblings.
A cold-blooded guy who killed his own father for the throne then sold off all his female siblings to countries far away and gathered all his male siblings in one place and closed them off. After that point, I stopped trying to listen.
He apparently wasnât satisfied with just that, so he decided to go to war and hunt down even the female siblings he sent away. He swept up the battlefields like a whirlwind and was the main culprit who, in a flash, drove the entire continent towards a corner.
âAh, for the busy modern person, I will shorten everything by saying one sentence⌠This guy basically reminds me of that bastard, Hitler.
To think Iâm that personâs child.â
There were a few people who believed that he will be different to his own child. âTrue, there is a saying that even a hedgehog finds it own child cute, but after everyone heard how he cut off one pregnant womanâs head clean, even those people had to take back their words.
GoodbyeâŚâ
âEither way, Princess Zerina and the Emperor are both surprising people, thatâs for sure.â
My mother, who protected me from the Emperor and such a crazy bastard at that, was incredibly respected in the palace. âWell, itâs true that after getting pregnant from a one night stand she went into voluntary confinement in the Ethelon Palace.â She literary lived in exile. In the deepest corner of the royal palace grounds, she took care of me with such a delicate body. The truth of what she did came out when she was a month away from her delivery date. Obviously, the Emperor tried to kill her, but to be honest, no one really knows what happened.
All I know was that she was able to give birth a month later and my father went to âclean upâ the southern kingdom Izarta during my birth.
I just looked up towards Cerera with big eyes and she smiled back gently. I donât know how many months ago I entered this body, but at the word mother, I could only think of Cerera who was right in front of me. âShe is the only lady who dominates my memories and it feels strange.â
âAh, have you heard the rumors?â
âHuh?â
âThat the Emperor has been cursedâŚâ
âAh.â
Cereraâs expression darkened at those words.
I glared at Elaine. âHow dare you make nanny sad!â But, Elaine also grew depressed, causing me to feel guilty.
âAh, I decided to be kinder to you earlier, but I glared at you.â I felt a bit sorry since she was so crazy in love with me. Then, at that moment, Cerera placed me back in my crib. âIt seems to be my nap time.â
âItâs not a curse.â
Cerera looked at me as if I was far away. I could tell from her expression that she wasnât completely here. She was probably reminiscing about the past.
âIf you can put a name on that, it would beâŚâ
Her hand clasped my small hand tightly. Even though you could tell from a glance who was bigger, I felt incredibly sorry for her, so I grabbed her pinky finger first.
âI would call it a âLamentâ.â
âLamentâŚ
Now that I think about it, I do remember a piece of a memory that was deep in the bottom of my mind.â
With that memory, I also recalled a voice. When I was just born and flapping around like a fish. I heard a wail full of agonizing pain as if she had greatly suffered.
âI hate you, Emperor! My flesh and blood will never forgive you!
When my body crumbles away, this child, with my blood, will curse you in my stead!â
I closed my eyes and started mumbling.
âI canât believe you would order a child to do something like that.â
Even I thought our first meeting was way too bloody, but for some reason, the Emperor kept coming to meet me. I found this unbelievably annoying but it made the other two incredibly happy.
Well, itâs not like I donât understand the reason. Even if I am a princess the truth is that Iâm a bastard born out of wedlock, so my status wasnât stable and my title unsecured. So if everyone claimed I was not a true princess, I sadly lacked a title, or anything really, to throw at their faces to shut them up.
*Sob Sob Sob*
So this is the truth, I guess. The fact that the man whoâs claimed to be my father is visiting his so-called daughter is actually a good thing. I mean, no matter how you look at it, this guy didnât seem to be like my father but at least he had a killer body.
He was a feast for the eyes. âItâs not like he will kill me for checking him out, right? Since Iâm the daughterâŚâ
âSheâs not sleeping.â
âAh, sorry. I was wrong about you. You are the kind of guy who can kill his own daughter.â
I lifted my chin as I wondered when he came. âOur eyes met again. I have really shitty luck.â Well, since I met his gaze a couple of times before, my body no longer shakes but my heart would beat faster under his gaze, which is, of course, a natural reaction of the body that I canât control.
âAh, I wish it was his beauty that was making my heart race. That would be better than the fact that my heart is pumping because of its natural instinct towards the danger of death.
What is going on here Mr. God?
Itâs not like heâs looking at me with killing intent.
I guess that kind of intense gaze is, in its own way, quite at-
No, itâs still terrifying! Itâs scary as hell!â
âIs it because Iâm here?â
âI heard that you are free to make your own mistakes, Mr. Customer.â
I made a rotten face at his grin and turned my head to continue to suck furiously on my pacifier. I heard breastfeeding is very important and good for the baby so many times but my mom died so I canât even get her milk from somewhere.
âAh, wait. Is that milk in the bottle breast milk? Ugh, no. It canât be. It tastes way too good.
Are they using a very high-quality formula?â
âWah!â
In this way, I was planning to drop off into my own world with my thoughts when the pacifier I was sucking so hard on disappeared from my mouth. IÂ couldnât figure out the cause so I looked here and there and into the sky, my pacifier disappeared into- âAh. No!â
âWant it?â
ââŚâŚâŚâŚ.God, is this feeling Iâm feeling what people call a murderous intent?
This fucker called a dad took his own daughterâs pacifier!!!â
I was furious and looked up at him.
Of course, even if I did that, how fierce could I be with such a round chubby face?
Yet, this was the best I could do.
He just stood there hatefully with my pacifier in his hand.
âAgh! I hate him!
Yes, this is the problem here. Itâs good he visits often, and it good his face is so handsome and it all good but-! The problem is instead of treating me like his daughter, that bastard treats me like a toy to quell his boredom.
That Son of Bitch!â
âYour eyes are too red to the point itâs unpleasant.â
âThese eyes were inherited from you. You unpleasant red-eyed monster.â
âToo red.â
âSigh, I got it from you, sir.â
âI want to pop them out.â
âHuk-â At that my mouth, popped openâ
Seeing my reaction, he gave me a refreshing smile. His smile was so beautiful that it was sparkly and it blinded my eyes, yet I could not find this simply beautiful.
âThere is a demon in there.â
After smiling, he placed the pacifier in my mouth. He did it so seriously I thought for a moment that he was showing consideration.
ââŚIâm sorry, but no.â
âSmall.â
âThat is some fine speech youâre saying to a baby barely two months old.â I stuck out my lips and sucked the pacifier. Once again our eyes met.
âAll right, you want to look? Go ahead, look.
Well, I basically already know what youâre about to say. Itâs all the same after a while.
Inspect, judge and then react.
Am I just some item?â
I decided from now on to treat everything that came out of his mouth as just gibberish.
âNamu MyĹhĹ Renge KyĹ
Please let me be free from that guy.â
I was retarded to listen to his words just because he spoke only one word every few hours.
âReally small.â
Well, thanks to this guyâs frequent visits I learn something new. It was things I couldnât learn from nanny and Elaine, so I found it interesting and fun when I discovered anything new about him.
âHmmmâŚâ
First of all, this guy actually does have more reason then I gave him credit for. âThatâs right! The truth is he was a reasonable psycho. Not only that, he did have a sense of honor and even morals.â
If there was one problem, it was the fact that he didnât try to keep any of it nor did he have any desire to.
People called him a crazy fucker and a lunatic, but that wasnât quite right. What was happening was quite different from what the rumors said.
Yes, it doesnât change the fact that he is still a crazy bastard, but he wasnât bathing in blood like Elizabeth BĂĄthory, nor was he like Vlad the Impaler, going around the battlefield impaling people with spikes.
It was good to find out he wasnât a pervert but I canât, in good conscience, say heâs not a crazy bastardâŚ
âIf I had to be specific, he was an asshole that was kind of crazy?