CH 12.3

PART III

…. It’s something I understood.

That people care about me because of my body. (TN: This bitch. Imma curse you into the infinite torture of hell! Repent, biatch!)

I don’t have any plans to be conceited at all. However, once I get told of it directly, my chest tightened as if it was being squeezed. (TN: Don’t worry Sheryl. Imma squeeze the heart out of that side character for you!)

It’s as if she’s telling me I have no other redeeming qualities other than the Dreaming Illness

How ironic.

To think that the one I want to get rid the most has become my only worth.

[Originally, the Barons are nothing for Rafael-sama at all . That’s why it’s might be easy to misunderstand. However, it’s shameless to extort something from Rafael-sama.]

Just when I thought she was referring to the time he assisted me towards the classroom, apparently, she thought that the pen Rafael gave me was something I asked him to buy.

She continues talking.

[If you’re Rafael-sama’s friend, there shouldn’t be anything you can’t get, right? I understand the attraction. However, that person is already fed up with that kind of speculation. I can still sympathize with you from my heart.] (TN: Bitch, that’s so not needed.)

[Nothing I can’t get….?]

[Hey! How rude of you to interrupt while Claudette-sama is still talking!] (TN: Shut up, Mob whoever!)

When I spoke out the words that caught my attention, the girl couldn’t hold back raising her voice.

Schpudreine stopped her by raising her hand.

[It should be a matter of course with Rafael-sama’s status. Rafael-sama is an extremely attractive person himself, so it’s natural that he has a lot of wonderful things gathered. But all of those solely belongs to Rafael-sama. They’re something that you can’t ask even by mistake.]

[Among them…]

Does the one I want amongst all of those?

Before I managed to ask that question, a knock came from the door.

The ladies, including Schpudreine, furrowed their brows, and the lady who answered the door let out a cry that almost sounded like a scream.

[What’s the matter?]

[Rafael-sama…!] (TN:YES!)

When she saw Rafael enter the room, Schpudreine hurriedly stood up to greet him.

While wondering if it would be better if I also stood up, I watch the chain of events happening as if it’s none of my business.

The scene of the two standing together felt so unreal that it looked otherworldly. I bow my head down thinking I’m originally not part of it.

When Rafael saw me, he trudged towards me and sat next to me.

His face looks so steep it makes me want to keep my distance.

[I would like you to explain this, Claudette. Why did you send Bedford away?]

[That’s….. The only person I have business with is him alone.]

[Do you not understand why Bedford is by Sheryl’s side? She’s told to be by his side at all times so that in case he suffers a seizure or any sort of trouble, she’ll be able to carry him and look for help immediately. Shouldn’t that be something obvious once you think about it for a bit? To look down on her social status and have her go back…. I’m very disappointed in you.]

[Ah…]

Although he’s not shouting, Rafael’s tone was so cold that even I, who’s next to him, cowered.

Even now, Schpudreine who has been struck with his words looks like she’s about to cry.

[Rafael, I also told Welmina that it’s fine to go back. If I didn’t, she wouldn’t have left.]

[Isn’t it all because of Claudette? Even being thoughtless has its limit. What did you talk about? It better be worth it to only single out Sheryl and leave Bedford out of it.]

[…………]

She must be feeling really down, Schpudreine’s head was still hanging low.

Rafael’s mood seems to have plummeted even more seeing the state she’s in.

[Are you unable to answer me?]

[….Uhm… to Bashral-san, the nobility’s conduct…]

[You better not tell me that all this is for something as simple as that.]

[…………]

Rafael was criticizing Schpudreine but it’s not entering my ears.

I wonder why, even though I usually grow nervous every time Rafael moves.

As I watch the two of them interacting, my head was floating somewhere, it’s as if I was watching him through a glass window.

The words I hear from Schpudreine before echoes in my head.

Rafael, who has noticed that there seems to be something wrong with me places his hand on my shoulder.

[Sheryl, what’s wrong?]

[…Rafael, I have a question.]

[Go ahead.]

[Is it true that Rafael can get anything?]

[Were you talking about such a thing?]

Rafael glances at Schpudreine after hearing my words. Her trembling appearance enters the corner of my eyes.

Usually, I won’t say something like this.

But there seems to be something wrong with me. The words are coming out from my mouth without my consent.

[Can you acquire the cure for the Dreaming Illness?]

[Sheryl…. That’s…]

[Please, I need it no matter what! We might be able to make it if it’s now! I’m begging you, Rafael! If I can get the cure, I can give you my life!!!]

It’s a life that was originally lost.

If it can be exchanged with the cure, I’ll do anything.

I desperately cling to Rafael.

There’s no point in doing this now.

It will just inconvenience Rafael.

Even though I know this, I can’t stop.

I clutched onto Rafael’s shirt while looking worn out with my tears running down my face.

With me acting like that, it is the first time Rafael raised his voice after entering the room.

[SHERYL!!!]

When my body stiffened from his sudden outburst, Rafael hugged me.

[Don’t treat your life so casually! Even if it’s yours, you should still treat it courteously. You’re concerned about Samuel’s condition, right? I’m sorry to say this but he can’t be saved anymore.]

[Something like that…!]

There’s no way you’d know that!

I don’t want to accept it. If I do, I’d….

I won’t be able to bear the weight of the life I detached myself  from for my own convenience.

[I heard about it from Camille before he left the dorms. He said that he made you worry unnecessarily. Camille has already prepared himself for it. Even now, there are also others whose lives are in danger other than Samuel. Do you plan to take responsibility for every one of them?

[But, for me…]

[Even if you have the cure for it, do you think you can save all those patients with the Dreaming Illness? The very first to receive the treatment will be those who belong to the upper class, won’t they? Then, what about the others? This isn’t limited to just the Dreaming Illness. Sheryl, the number of lives an individual can save is limited. Will you condemn those doctors and healers who weren’t able to save everyone? It’s harsh, but this is reality. Don’t dream about it, Sheryl. it’s only natural that there are lives you can’t save, don’t delude yourself. The one who will carry on that burden is not you── it’s this country’s King.]

I look at Rafael as he said the last words. He… was laughing.

They were the ones I’ve unconsciously neglected to hear until now. That it has nothing to do with me.

The King’s responsibility.

Just how heavy is that? It’s something I’m unable to fathom.

Rafael looks astonished as he put a hand on my chin.

[That’s why you have to cherish your life first. It’s your responsibility to yourself.]

[Rafael….]

I have no idea what to say so I can only stare at him.

I wonder if my life is more valuable than other people for him?

The moment my vision cleared, I can see Rafael’s nose up close.

His eyelashes came closer and closer until I was able to clearly see each strand, and before I knew it, something touched my lips.

[Are you not going to resist?]

[Rafa, el — mh.]

I was kissed so many times, I became breathless.

What? What’s going on?

Seeing my muddled expression, Rafael released my lips and traced the path my tears fell into. (TN: I’m betting my imaginary chips on him using his lips.)

No, nonono!

[Rafael!]

[What is it?]

[Not ‘What is it’! There are other people around!]

[There’s no one, though.]

[Huh….?]

When I looked around, Schpudreine and her friends have unknowingly disappeared.

[Even if they stayed, they’ll just be a hindrance so I incited them to leave. More importantly, is that the part you should be concerned about?]

[Eh?]

[So it’s okay if there’s no one around?]

That said, Rafael meaningfully caressed my waist, I pushed his chest with my hand hands in a fluster. Instead of letting me go, he circled his arm around my waist and pushed me down on the sofa.

[Ra, Rafael!?]

[I don’t feel good seeing others make you cry.]

[I have no idea what you’re saying and doing mean, though!?]

‘You really don’t get it?’ and he sucked my nape as I panicked.

[I don’t understand! Sto- mh!]

His lips went down to my collarbone, a chilling sensation run down my back.

I pushed Rafael’s body halfway, but he’s not even flinching.

Fear settled in towards his unknown intention towards me.

[Rafael, stop, I’m scared….]

When I made a cry from my throat successfully, Rafael finally released my body.

Rafael seems to be in a good mood after looking at my expression.

[As I thought, this way is better.]

[What is…]

[Your crying face.]

[How mea- uh…]

Bullying is bad!

If it’s now, I can say it in a loud voice. Say that Rafael is bullying me!

However, I’m in a situation where I can’t open my lips and say something. Somebody help me!

Fruitlessly crying to myself that this isn’t scary, Rafael showered my face with kisses as I wait for Nicole to come and pick me up.