After the shopkeeper inscribed the initials as Rafael had said, I looked at the finished product and shuddered at its price. Uhh, it kind of has the same price as clothes, thoughā¦.
Although theyāre called as the purveyor to the government, itās not like everything they handle is expensive.
But for this store, it looks like they donāt deal with the amount of money lower nobles could afford.
[Felicy, if you have what you need then weāre going back.]
[Yes. Sheryl-san, are you also finished?]
[Iām fine.]
I canāt tell them that just looking at those prices make me shudder so Iām unable to touch them.
Although the shopās decorations are eye-catching, I donāt think I can get them as we leave the shop.
[How are you? Are you tired?] (Felicy)
[That was a lot of fun! I was able to take a break at the cafe, so I am not too tired and it may be the first time I have had such a fulfilling holiday.] (Sheryl)
Although there were some of the townās information that Iām embarrassed to touch again, it wasnāt that hard once I got used to it, and there were also the guards who helped secure enough space for us to pass through.
I guess this was all thanks to Rafaelās and Felicyās follow up.
[Oh my! If you say it like that then Iām also happy! If you have clothes youāre interested from the stores Iāve recommended, please donāt hesitate to tell me.]
[How many time do I have to tell you that Sheryl is a man before you understand it?]
[Nobody said heās going to wear a skirtā¦ā¦ Aah, but will it be hard to abandon a dress?]
It looks like Iāve become a dress up doll in Felicyās mind.
But still, I wish sheād quit it with the dress.
[It will definitely look good on you! How about a design that completely shows your curves? Doesnāt Big Brother also think itās fine?]
[ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦]
[Rafael, can you not keep silent over there?]
Itās unbelievable, but I think I can guess why Rafael turned quiet.
Anyway, dresses should be out, right!?
Rafael, who notice I was staring at him, broke his eye contact as if heās guilty of something.
[Although I find it regretful, I will excuse myself now. If there are any more opportunities, please do invite me again.
[Yup, thanks for today.]
As weāre getting near the school grounds, we part ways with Felicy.
Although sheās going to enroll in middle school, Felicy is still living at the Kingās castle apparently.
After sending Felicy off to the carriage that picked her up, Rafael and I headed to the dorms.
[Are you going to rest as soon as you get back?]
[Thatās right, because I think my body is more tired than I think.]
Even if I stay up, Nicole will probably stop me.
When I answered like that, Rafael stands in front of me and held out his hand.
[Then Iāll give this to you while I have the chance.]
[This is?]
When I received it by reflex, I saw that itās wrapped in a beige wrapping with a red ribbon tied on it.
Its shape long and narrow.
[Itās the pen I bought at the stationery shop earlier. You should use it.]
[Ehh!?]
You mean that new work!? The one with the price comparable to clothes!?
I certainly thought he was buying two books, thoughā¦ā¦.
[No way, I canāt accept such an expensive thing. Even though youāre the one who paid for everything bought from the store.]
[Itās only natural for me to pay since Iām the one who invited you. Use it in the classroom starting tomorrow. I wonāt forgive you if use a different one. Besides, your initials are already carved in it so I canāt return it anymore.]
[EHHH!?]
Rafael started laughing as if heās anticipating that I wonāt accept it obediently.
[Thatās because Iāve already thought you wonāt easily accept it. Just give up.]
[ā¦.I can feel my hand thatās holding the pen to be trembling, though.]
[Youāll get used to it eventually. Just get used to it.]
He put his hand on my shoulder as he said so.
To be honest, Iām still not used to being casually close to Rafael like this.
Moreover, he doesnāt easily let go once he starts touching.
To Rafael, is my existence so thin that he has to touch me to confirm it?
Even now, his hand moved from my shoulder to my head.
I shook my head to escape from that hand.
[It tickles.]
[You have to properly use it tomorrow, got it?]
[I got it.]
I wish heād let me off with his bluntness.
Whether itās out of habit, I stuck out my lips and Rafaelās fingers brushed past it.
Seeing me stopped moving, Rafael laughed.
[Ahahaha, I just donāt get tired watching you.]
[Itās not good to tease!]
[Donāt say that. Felicy was with us the entire time so Iām still not satisfied.]
It looks like itās impossible to react to Rafaelās behavior one by one.*
Even so, I just canāt keep quiet so I have to deal with it.
In the first place, what are you unsatisfied about?
[Well then, see you tomorrow.]
[Ah, yeah.]
It looks like we arrived in front of the dorm before I knew it.
I parted with Raphael at the entrance of the dorm and headed to my room.
Even though Iāve returned to the dorm, thereās something like a feverishly fluffy feeling remaining. It looks like I still havenāt parted with the cityās liveliness.
In front of me, something blue appeared.
[Camille.]
[So youāre back, how was the city?]
In front of the courtyard that I was trying to pass by, I met with Camille.
He shouldāve known that I went out with Rafael.
While answering him that I had fun, I was curious with his lifeless expression.
I donāt see anyone with him, was he alone in the courtyard?
[Camille, is something the matter? You donāt look well.]
[Yesā¦. Samuel, my cousinā¦ā¦ it seems like his condition has gotten worseā¦ā¦ć
[If itās fine with you, shall we talk inside my room?]
Camille looks as if heās going to cry even as I was inviting him, and he also probably wants to talk to someone so he nods his head.
**********
While Nicole as preparing the tea, I turn to Camille.
[By cousin, you mean the child suffering from the Dreaming Illness?]
[Thatās right. Iām sorry, even though I said that I wouldnāt rely on youā¦ā¦]
[I only said Iāll listen to you, thereās no relying or anything in it.]
As I grasped Camilleās hand on top of the table looking eager to listen to him, he started talking about the events bit by bit.
He said his family got in touch with him this morning.
They told him to pass the letter of absence and to head to his relativeās house tomorrow.
He said that he wasnāt able to do anything, much less pack up, and he just stared at the sky.
Camille had a tone of tracing the paths heās taken.
Heās probably doing so to accept the reality.
ā¦ā¦Was this also how my brother felt when he heard from home?
[Iā¦ I wasnāt able to do anything.]
āI just canāt forgive myself for watching my cousinās life running out.ā Those words that Camille spoke pierces my chest.
āāWill Samuel be saved if I did the treatment??
No matter how many times such an idea pops up, I erase it thinking it isnāt good.
Noe was the exception among exceptions.
Thereās also the introduction from Bellom-sensei so if itās Noe, I can ask him to not talk. Thatās how I managed to make a false diagnosis.
But isnāt it wrong to do the same to Samuel who is still young?
Itās just like me asking Bellom-sensei not say anything regarding the treatment.
My gripped hands tighten.
[If itās about being helpless, Iām also the same.]
[Such a thingā¦.! Even until now, Sheryl-kun has already done a lot!]
[But I canāt help Samuel-kun.]
I want to help. If only I can.
If I can save lives with these hands.
In contradiction to the words I said, I wanted to tell the situation to Camille even now and wanted to run to Samuel together.
He probably guessed what I was thinking, Nicole gently stroked my back.
[I have always watched Sheryl-sama with such thoughts myself. It might be heartless, but nothing can be done about it.]
[Nicoleā¦.]
There is nothing I can do. The me right now, that is.
I once again reconsider my reality and I was shocked. Ohhā¦. so Camille has been feeling like this the entire day.
[Iām sorry, Iām glad youāre the one I talked to. Just as Bellom-sama had said, I shouldnāt rely on you. I did Ā not mean to hurt you.]
[Iām the one who couldnāt leave Camille alone. Even now, while knowing how Camille feels, I donāt like feel like leaving you alone.]
[Sheryl-kunā¦]
When I stood up and went to Camilleās side, I tightly embraced his head in my chest.
Without any resistance, he leans his head on me.
I feel Camilleās breath directly, as it sharply hits me. But I never have any thoughts of letting him go.
[The only thing, that I can do right now, is to listen to what Camille want to say.]
[ā¦ā¦ghā¦ā¦]
Iām so sorry, sorry.
I couldnāt go to help you.
Even though I know that Camille is grieving, Iā¦. Iām letting Samuel die without helping him.
The both of us couldnāt stop the tears flowing in each otherās eyes.