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Chapter 179




Parsed with an automated reader. The content accuracy is not guranteed.
Translator’s notes:
First sponsored chapter of the week. Thank you once again to the sponsors! Since I’m planning on finishing up (hopefully) this week, I’ve removed the sponsored chapter goals.
*****
Auntie Qi returned to her room. A low-ranked palace maid had already prepared water for her.
She freshened herself up simply and lay down.
After lying for a while, she wasn’t able to fall asleep no matter how she tried. Suddenly, she heard a noise by the window. She got up and glanced over, and saw a familiar silhouette she could recognize even if it turned to ash.
It wasn’t that she hated him to the bone, but rather because she was too familiar with him. She could tell who it was just by the silhouette.
She waited until the person climbed in through the window, rubbed his old waist and regained his breath, before suddenly speaking.
“What are you doing here?”
That silhouette froze, and chuckled foolishly a couple times. “I’m here to talk to you.”
“Don’t you know how to use the door?”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t open it.”
Fiend!
Auntie Qi sat up. She didn’t light the lamps, and merely sat there and said: “Whatever it is you have to say, say it.”
“Why don’t you light the lamps? Where are they, I’ll light them.” This was trying to act oblivious.
“Hurry and say it, and leave once you’re done. I still have to rest.” An extremely impatient tone.
The silhouette felt his way over to the desk and used the moonlight to sit down.
“Er….”
“Hurry and speak.”
“That, that, I hear you and that little fellow Eunuch Su have quite the affinity for each other?”
“What? What’s that got to do with you?!”
That silhouette got choked up and didn’t speak for a long while.
“That, Aunt Xiu, your affinity with Eunuch Su isn’t real, right?”
“So what if it’s real? So what if it’s fake?”
“That little fellow isn’t anything good. When running around outside for his majesty in the past, he didn’t lack in doing those vulgar things….”
“What’s it to you if he’s good or bad?”
“Aren’t I just concerned about you….”
“I don’t need your concern!”
“Don’t be angry. We’ve known each other for so long, I’m also just doing this for your own good….”
“For my own good? Was it for my own good that whenever someone came to my side, you would push them away?” Auntie Qi had never said these words before. It seemed the darkness gave her some strength, and allowed her to explode without restraint.
Eunuch Fu was completely frozen. He had thought she didn’t know about it.
“Eunuch Fu. Just what do you want? I’ve gone from feeling hopeful to despair in waiting for you to make a move. You just love playing dumb all day. Since you enjoy it so much, just play dumb until the end. What are you nosing into my business for?”
“I wasn’t…..” A very weak voice.
“Since you weren’t, you might as well leave. Eunuch Su asked his majesty for my sake, so I’ll give a response tomorrow.”
“Aunt Xiu—–”
There was no response.
“Aunt Xiu——” That silhouette covered his face and bent over.
Eunuch Fu was never one to show weakness. Even though he had acted docile in the past, his humble face never revealed any weakness. He had always thought to let those people be arrogant for now, and take care of them someday.
But today, he truly revealed weakness both inside and out. But in the dark, it wasn’t as noticeable.
“I’m not a real man, so I feel you deserve someone better…..”
“What does better mean?”
“At least someone who can make you happy….at least someone who’s a real man…..”
“What is happiness?”
Not having gotten an answer, Auntie Qi laughed coldly and continued speaking: “I’m already so old. What man would be willing to marry me?”
“I’m sorry……”
Back then, he had been afraid she would leave the palace once she reached the age of release. He went almost crazy in acting shameless to have her accompany him, saying he couldn’t bear part with her and that the fifth prince needed her…..
When the time came, she didn’t leave as expected. He felt happy in his heart, but also felt ashamed…..
He squandered so many years of her time. He was almost fifty, and she was several years over forty. He had once thought to leave it like this. Since no one was willing to be with her anymore, he would stay by her side until death….
Unexpectedly, someone liked old ones!
Eunuch Fu, oh Eunuch Fu. You truly are a despicable person. So despicable that mortals and gods alike would be angered!
“If this is all you have to say, you might as well leave. Pretend you never came.”
“Then, Eunuch Su….”
As expected! Auntie Qi closed her eyes, grabbed the pillow next to her and threw it over.
“Scram! I’ll give my answer to his majesty tomorrow.”
“Aunt Xiu——”
No response.
Eunuch Fu swallowed, “Aunt Xiu, Eunuch Su is a eunuch, and he isn’t that young….”
“I’m willing!”
“Then, then what do you think about me? I’m only older than him by a few years….”
Auntie Qi choked up and started crying hysterically, “You fiend! You had to be forced before you were willing to say it!”
Eunuch Fu fumbled over to the bedside and sat there at a loss. “Ai, Aunt Xiu. Don’t cry.”
“You fiend!” Auntie Qi pounced into his arms, and hit him as she cried, “You fiend…..”
Eunuch Fu’s hand trembled. He fumbled about a few times before wrapping his arms around her tightly.
***
The next day, Eunuch Fu went to find the Jing Emperor with an ashamed expression.
“You mean to tell me that you and Esteemed Official Qi have affinity for each other, and it’s got nothing to do with Eunuch Su?”
Eunuch Fu puffed out his chest and agreed. He said righteously: “That little fellow’s feelings are one-sided! Aunt Xiu doesn’t like him at all. The person Aunt Xiu liked has always been me.”
The Jing Emperor clenched his fists and lightly coughed. He said with a rigid face: “Hmmm, We feel We should still ask Eunuch Su and Esteemed Official Qi’s opinions.”
He wasn’t afraid of asking Aunt Xiu, but he was afraid new issues would come up if they asked Eunuch Su. After all, that little fellow was a smooth talker, and could make something dead sound alive. He hurriedly said: “Majesty doesn’t need to ask Eunuch Su. Asking Esteemed Official Qi is enough.”
The Jing Emperor nodded understandingly.
Eunuch Fu’s old face immediately bloomed in a smile.
……..
Becoming meal partners was something private within the palace after all. The masters may be aware but they would never bring it up.
The Jing Emperor didn’t confer them as husband and wife, but in compensation he still arranged a wedding for Eunuch Fu and Auntie Qi.
There was a bridal sedan chair (what can’t be bought with money?), a wedding venue (there were many residences in the palace), people to carry the sedan chair (there were many eunuchs in the palace), drums and gongs (court musicians filled in), visitors and everyone who was close to them attended, including the empress……
Barbarian Yan came looking for Eunuch Fu on the first day.
He was now completely freeloading off the Jing Emperor. He randomly held a position as the leader of the imperial bodyguards. He lived close to the imperial palace, and would come and go as he pleased for his job. The Jing Emperor turned a blind eye to this, so those under him did the same.
After hearing that the old thing Eunuch Fu was getting himself a wife, he had long since gathered some good stuff to share with him.
Eunuch Fu looked at the dazzling assortment of goods in front of him and his face turned purple from anger.
Damned mother! Is this dude doing it on purpose?!
Barbarian Yan still had that same look with his scraggly beard and vulgar smile, “Hey, how is it? Do you like it? Just treat it as a wedding gift.”
“Scram, scram…..”
“Aiya, so angry you can’t speak properly. Hehe, this one’s doing it for your own good, understand? For the sake of our relationship, this daddy here has done several days’ worth of research. I spent the whole night putting these good things together. You old fellow better know what’s what!”
Eunuch Fu knew what Barbarian Yan’s hobbies were, but still looked doubtful: “Really?”
“Tsk. Forget it if you don’t believe me. Not only did this daddy ask several eunuchs who have become meal partners, but I’ve also crouched on rooftops to eavesdrop.” Barbarian Yan stroked his beard and looked like he expected to be worshipped.
Eunuch Fu was still half skeptical, and randomly flipped through one of the books. The moment he looked, his face turned red.
“Hehe, what are you blushing for. Actually, you should have looked into these things earlier. If you had known back then, Auntie Qi wouldn’t have had to wait so many years for you. You have to trust my abilities…..”
Eunuch Fu was shamed into anger and kicked Barbarian Yan out.
After Barbarian Yan left, Eunuch Fu spat towards the door. Then, he carefully looked around before secretly closing the door and continuing his research.
He scarcely imagined that on his roof was a large dark fellow who lifted up one of the tiles and peeped inside through the gap. That fellow secretly laughed while watching.
***
On this day, the palace was unusually lively.
Although there weren’t too many people, everyone was beaming. Even the Jing Emperor and Xiao Hua had come.
Eunuch Fu’s eyes were squinted in a smile the entire day. When they reached the ritual kneeling by bride and groom, his face revealed a rare trace of red. His legs and arms tangled up and he almost fell flat on his face.
After the ceremony, the newly-weds went into the bridal chamber.
The remaining people hadn’t left. There were two tables of alcohol, and it naturally had to be consumed before leaving.
The Jing Emperor and Xiao Hua didn’t linger. If they remained, everyone wouldn’t be completely at ease. Such a festive occasion was rare, so they let everyone enjoy themselves thoroughly.
The Jing Emperor and Xiao Hua didn’t take their carriage, but instead enjoyed the gentle breeze as they walked back. There were quite a few palace maids and eunuchs following five or six paces behind them.
“How nice.” Xiao Hua said.
The Jing Emperor didn’t speak. His grip tightened and loosened repeatedly on her hand.
During the ceremony, Xiao Hua had noticed the Jing Emperor’s eyes had turned red. However, it wasn’t clear from his expression, and since the room had been brightly lit, it hadn’t been noticeable. No one understood better than Xiao Hua how much the newly-weds today meant to the Jing Emperor.
Therefore, it was truly good they could be happy.
……….
After Eunuch Fu accompanied everyone in drinking for a while, he drove everyone away and returned to the bridal chamber.
The room was bright red, and was extremely glaring. So glaring that it made one’s eyes sore.
Auntie Qi’s veil had long since been lifted. She wore a crimson wedding dress and sat in front of the table. Hearing the door open, she turned and looked at Eunuch Fu, happening to see this old fellow’s red-rimmed eyes.
She thought he had drank too much and scolded: “Told you to drink less.”
Eunuch Fu smiled foolishly, “It’s a happy occasion, happy……”
Auntie Qi fetched a basin of water and used a towel to wipe his face.
“Did you eat the food I brought over? Still want to eat something?”
“I’ve eaten, don’t want to eat anymore.”
“Then, then let’s go to bed.”
The two went to the bed and took off their outer clothes. They lay in bed with only their underwear. The crimson festive candles crackled a few times before falling silent.
Auntie Qi’s emotions were currently surging when she noticed someone fumbling over from the side.
“You, what are you doing?” Her face was red like the sunset, adding some appeal to Auntie Qi’s ordinary looking face.
“Er….let me kiss you…..”
“Would you give it a rest!?” Auntie Qi blushed and turned her back towards him.
After another while, someone fumbled over again.
Auntie Qi wanted to struggle, but was held fast.
That person mumbled: “Aunt Xiu….that person, Barbarian Yan gave me a few methods. It says the two of us can both, can both be happy. How about we give it a try?”
“En?”
“That fellow probably wouldn’t lie to me. Let’s give it a try…..”
“En…..”
Author’s notes:
Laughing a hundred times with my hands on my hips. This Barbarian Yan can cure male related issues. If he can’t cure it, he’ll give your money back!
Just kidding.
Regarding eunuchs doing that, this author specially did a lot of research (Fu Fu, you should be thanking me you know? Was it easy for me?).
In regards to that, the Ming Dynasty cut off the balls, but not the shaft. The Qing Dynasty chops everything off.
It was said the Qing Dynasty did so because there were too many examples of eunuchs being promiscuous within the rear palace during the Ming Dynasty. For example, Wei Zhong Xian and that emperor’s wet nurse Ke-Shi and so on. There were especially many meal partners formed during the Ming Dynasty. Even the emperor knew about it. Wei Zhong Xian and Wei Chao struggling over Ke-Shi was something that stirred things up until it reached the emperor. The emperor asked Ke-Shi, who ended up choosing Wei Zhong Xian. However, forming meal partners became forbidden under Emperor Kangxi, though it didn’t seem successful….
My face is very red. Therefore, everyone can use their imagination for the rest. You can think of all sorts of methods. Hehe….
Hehe, going to take some time in the next days to start my new novel. Trying to start it before this one is finished. Therefore, only one chapter a day from now on. Don’t beat me up everyone.