Lian Hua looked at the zombie behind him, unable to cry. Fuck, wretched mushroom, your brother wants to cut you.
Lian Yu “…” Master seemed to be very angry, it shrank itself.
So Lian Hua was forced to carry his backpack, controlling the water ball with his left hand and carrying the cleaver in his right. He pushed the car door open and started running for his life. If your brother dies, it’s entirely the stupid mushroom’s fault!
Lian Hua planned his route according to where there were less zombies. Fuck, he ran for a long time, but didn’t see any survivors on the street. He couldn’t even find a place to hide! Lian Hua actually saw some shadows flit by the windows, but no one came to help him. Most of these people were waiting for rescue. Unfortunately, no one will save them.
At this point in time, most of the survivors had already skipped town, were stopped on the road, cleverly stayed to collect supplies, or stupidly waited for rescue. Anyone else was eaten by the zombies or turned into one. Lian Hua ran even faster.
“Master, master! If you turn left ahead, there are fluctuations in abilities. An esper is fighting a zombie over there!” Right as Lian Hua was about to randomly clean up a room to hide in, Lian Yu’s stupid voice sounded in his mind.
Fluctuations in abilities = esper = fight zombie = thick thighs = saved! With that, Lian Hua immediately swerved left, not caring who the hero was. My love, help this cannon fodder destroy the zombie behind it! Please help, later I’ll make you a tablet for longevity.
“The warrior up ahead, save me! Wah wah wah!” Lian Hua finally saw a few people’s silhouettes and immediately howled as loud as he could. No matter who it was, he had to ask for help first.
Lian Hua noticed that people were looking in his direction and got distracted, accidentally tripping on a rock. With that, he gloriously broke an angels’s wingsー and fell face first into the ground…
“Ow, ow, ow.” Lian Hua cried pitifully, my life’s over! Right now there was only one thought in his head. In order to not die in vain, Lian Hua decided to see which bastard saw someone else at death’s door and refused to help. Even if he became a ghost, he still wanted to draw curse circles every day. So, he struggled to lift his head, ignoring the zombie’s claws in close proximity.
Afterwards, what unfolded in front of Lian Hua’s eyes was a fantastically beautiful scene.
A great beauty wearing black clothes ran over rapidly from afar. The wind blew a few strands of her black hair, revealing her pretty peach blossom eyes. The sunset’s last golden rays scattered on her face, her body seemed to a radiate a holy aura. The distant colorful clouds became the background from which she emerged flyingー She was like an angel that descended from the clouds.
Lian Hua looked on in a daze, his heart violently beat thump thump. He lived for so many years, but this was the first time he felt his heart beating! Mom, your son has found your future daughter in law! Wow, how beautiful she was! Wow, how moving she was! Wow, she marched down from the heavens to pick me up! Lian Hua unconsciously drooled all over the place.
The beauty saw his stupidity and furrowed their brow slightly. A bright bluish purple light shot out from their fingertips, a blade of lightning fiercely struck the zombie behind Lian Hua, scattering ash everywhere! (⊙o⊙) My beloved wife is so violent! Lian Hua began to feel anxious in his heart, if his strength was lower than his beloved wife, then wouldn’t that be very embarrassing? The truth immediately proved that Lian Hua was thinking too much.
The beauty quickly cleaned up the zombies following Lian Hua and flashed him a look of disgust. Lian Hua was surprised! Shit, your brother was just running away and rolling around, he must be absolutely hard to look at right now! So he quickly stood up, wiped his face, fixed his clothes, and faced the beauty with what he thought was a handsome “man*” smile. Wife, look over here, do you see your husband’s authoritative smile?
*This was in Engrish.
The beauty relaxed their expression and actually laughed. Mom, the beauty is smiling at me, Lian Hua instantly made a foolish face again.
“Wipe your face!” The beauty threw a piece of cloth over, Lian Hua hurriedly caught it. Oh my god, his wife was giving him a token of love! Lian Hua swooned, his wife was taking good care of him. Unexpectedly, his wife’s voice was a little rough, but he doesn’t hate it.
“I told you to wipe your face, do you know what you look like right now?” The beauty spoke up and Lian Hua’s bones numbed. The wife’s words must be obeyed! Lian Hua condensed a ball of water and drenched himself…
=皿= Who was that tattered person in the water mirror? His clothes were torn to pieces, and covered in dirt, dust, blood, and strange fluids. There were red and white splotches, and even bloody fingerprints scattered over his face! Basically his appearance was hard to look at? Lian Hua burst into tears in his heart, he left a bad first impression on his wife! His heart sank, he didn’t think he would be loved.
“Boss! You run too fast! Huff, huff… I was almost unable to catch up!”
Lian Hua “…”
If his eyes weren’t mistaken and he didn’t have the wrong person, then wasn’t the person who just ran up the elite next to Pig Leg?
“The boss can handle things by himself, why are you chasing him?”
Lian Hua “…”
Wasn’t this man the “body guard” that always closely followed the elite? Wasn’t he Pig Leg’s personal bodyguard?
Lian Hua was suddenly inundated with information.
And these two people called the beauty Boss? Doesn’t that mean that the beauty was Pig Leg? Lian Hua heard the sound of his heart breaking…
This life was so cruel! For example…
The goddess turned into a god in a split second?
Your wife turned into the enemy that wanted to kill you?
His wife was really a pig leg?
This is a really sad story!
Lian Hua really wanted to express some of the sadness in his heart. He closed his eyes and fainted on the ground with a thump…
Pig Leg “…” What’s wrong with this idiot?
Xia Xingwen “…” I haven’t said anything yet! He seems to be overstimulated?
Xia Xingwu “…” His wife’s little mouth was lethal.
Lian Yu “…” Master, how could you faint? What should Xiao Yu Er do now? These people are all terrifying, sob sob sob. 〒_〒
Let’s rewind time for a few minutes.
“Boss, the zombies are rioting over there. It seems some fool is inciting them.” Xia Xingwen observed from afar and frowned.
“He’s running towards us!” Xia Xingwen was furious.
“Have we stirred the hornet’s nest[1]? Could we have been exposed?” Xia Zhi mumbled to himself, but he didn’t have the slightest bit of tension. Seeing that, Xia Xingwen was no longer nervous: “Then they can come, but not return!” His eyes shone with an eager expression.
“Watch carefully, don’t mess up the Boss’s plans.” Xia Xingwu patted Xia Xingwen.
“Did I ask you to speak? Die, scram.” Xia Xingwen flared up.
Xia Xingwu didn’t mind, he just revealing a tolerant smile, and looked affectionately at Xia Xingwen.
Xia Xingwen noticed and goosebumps erupted over his skin. He shivered and backed far away from Xia Xingwu’s arms while continuing to observe the zombies rioting in the distance.
“There’s only one person!” Xia Xingwen thought it was quite strange, “Is it a suicide squad?” Xia Xingwen expressed considerable interest.
“No, he should just be someone passing by. Don’t worry about him, our mission takes priority.”
“Boss, how can you tell that he’s just someone passing by?” Xia Xingwen eyes were bright, his face full of worship.
Xia Zhi glanced at him, thin lips spit out a word: “Intuition!”
Xia Xingwen “…” He isn’t? Boss, you fooled me.
Xia Xingwu watched with a sour look and muttered, “Even I knew.” Why don’t you look at me in worship?
Xia Xingwen gave Xia Xingwu a look of disgust, as if looking at a fool, making Xia Xingwu even more depressed.
“The warrior up ahead, save me!” The person up ahead stumbled and shouted.
“Shit! Is he retarded? He’ll lead even more zombies here.” Xia Xingwen exploded. He blinked his eyes and thought there was something weird. “This voice sounds a little familiar…” Xia Xingwen mumbled to himself.
“Young master Bai!” Xia Xingwu calmly replied.
But Xia Zhi’s shadow couldn’t be seen next to them.
“So fast!” Xia Xingwen was stunned.
Xia Xingwu mildly looked at him.
“Wait for me, Boss!” Xia Xingwen yelled loudly and started to chase, Xia Xingwu helplessly followed.
Xia Zhi didn’t know what was going on either. When he heard that person’s voice, his heart was full of resentment, but when that person was really in danger, he could not stand by and watch him die. Humans truly are complicated creatures. However, this person was no longer the one from before. Moreover, this one was still fun. Might as well let him live for now until he gets bored. As a result, when Xia Xingwen was still sluggishly looking around, Xia Zhi had already flown off to save people.
Looking at Lian Hua’s silly idiot appearance, combined with his miserable face, Xia Zhi finally couldn’t hold back and happily laughed. Even he didn’t know how long it had been since he laughed, so he decided to keep Lian Hua for a while.
Lian Hua also did not know that his biggest secret was seen through by Pig Leg. Right now, he was sitting dejectedly in Pig Leg’s super cool big Hummer, mourning his springtime of youth. Although Pig Leg saved him, he wasn’t happy at all that he fainted and was carried onto the Hummer.
Mom, your daughter in law flew off! Was he really fated to be forever alone?
He was so stupid, really! He already knew Pig Leg had a pocket dimension capable of farming and cultivating, an ultra level hack! How could he forget that cultivating could cleanse you down to your bone marrow! A dark layer would encompassing the entire body, smelling horribly foul. After bathing, he would become white and soft, fragrant and sweet, and look younger by several years!
He didn’t expect that after bathing, Pig Leg would look so attractive! So beautiful! So tempting! Isn’t this a crime/sin? With Pig Leg’s appearance, when his comrades saw him, they must have been absolutely stunned!
Lian Hua’s guess was a little close, when Xia Zhi came out with this appearance, Xia Xingwen fell directly on the floor. Even Xia Xingwu was shocked for several minutes. If Xia Zhi’s voice wasn’t the same, they definitely would have thought the beauty in front of them was fake. Luckily, he had a strong heart, Xia Xingwen was a heartless man, otherwise he would be very conflicted.
Lian Hua was very depressed. In these two lifetimes, this was his first time falling in love. He fell in love with the beauty at first sight, but it came to such a bitter conclusion.
He felt like his had become a zombie and was being crushed under Pig Leg’s foot, leaving behind only a pile of rubbish that scattered in the wind. Tears fell and Lian Hua screamed as he clutched the glass heart that he shattered himself.
Translator’s Notes:
My baby 〒_〒
[1]祸水东引吗?Apparently this is a reference to World War II, but somehow I came across a saying that seems to mean “Someone trying to do something with ill intentions but possibly harming yourself in the process.”
I’m not sure if this is a thing, but the way the author used “black clothes” to refer to Xia Zhi’s apparel, it makes me think that Xia Zhi is wearing period clothes for some reason.
I really should have done a double release but… I don’t update regularly… There was some awkward phrasing in this chapter lol. Also I realized I did that thing where I got to the end but I thought there was a lot left so I went to go do something else, but there was really only a page left, whoops. Had some awkward moral dilemmas and annoying lolis and shotas to take care of. I don’t like kids >: They’re evil.