Lian Hua looked at the zombie behind him, unable to cry. Fuck, wretched mushroom, your brother wants to cut you.
Lian Yu ââŚâ Master seemed to be very angry, it shrank itself.
So Lian Hua was forced to carry his backpack, controlling the water ball with his left hand and carrying the cleaver in his right. He pushed the car door open and started running for his life. If your brother dies, itâs entirely the stupid mushroomâs fault!
Lian Hua planned his route according to where there were less zombies. Fuck, he ran for a long time, but didnât see any survivors on the street. He couldnât even find a place to hide! Lian Hua actually saw some shadows flit by the windows, but no one came to help him. Most of these people were waiting for rescue. Unfortunately, no one will save them.
At this point in time, most of the survivors had already skipped town, were stopped on the road, cleverly stayed to collect supplies, or stupidly waited for rescue. Anyone else was eaten by the zombies or turned into one. Lian Hua ran even faster.
âMaster, master! If you turn left ahead, there are fluctuations in abilities. An esper is fighting a zombie over there!â Right as Lian Hua was about to randomly clean up a room to hide in, Lian Yuâs stupid voice sounded in his mind.
Fluctuations in abilities = esper = fight zombie = thick thighs = saved! With that, Lian Hua immediately swerved left, not caring who the hero was. My love, help this cannon fodder destroy the zombie behind it! Please help, later Iâll make you a tablet for longevity.
âThe warrior up ahead, save me! Wah wah wah!â Lian Hua finally saw a few peopleâs silhouettes and immediately howled as loud as he could. No matter who it was, he had to ask for help first.
Lian Hua noticed that people were looking in his direction and got distracted, accidentally tripping on a rock. With that, he gloriously broke an angelsâs wingsăź and fell face first into the groundâŚ
âOw, ow, ow.â Lian Hua cried pitifully, my lifeâs over! Right now there was only one thought in his head. In order to not die in vain, Lian Hua decided to see which bastard saw someone else at deathâs door and refused to help. Even if he became a ghost, he still wanted to draw curse circles every day. So, he struggled to lift his head, ignoring the zombieâs claws in close proximity.
Afterwards, what unfolded in front of Lian Huaâs eyes was a fantastically beautiful scene.
A great beauty wearing black clothes ran over rapidly from afar. The wind blew a few strands of her black hair, revealing her pretty peach blossom eyes. The sunsetâs last golden rays scattered on her face, her body seemed to a radiate a holy aura. The distant colorful clouds became the background from which she emerged flyingăź She was like an angel that descended from the clouds.
Lian Hua looked on in a daze, his heart violently beat thump thump. He lived for so many years, but this was the first time he felt his heart beating! Mom, your son has found your future daughter in law! Wow, how beautiful she was! Wow, how moving she was! Wow, she marched down from the heavens to pick me up! Lian Hua unconsciously drooled all over the place.
The beauty saw his stupidity and furrowed their brow slightly. A bright bluish purple light shot out from their fingertips, a blade of lightning fiercely struck the zombie behind Lian Hua, scattering ash everywhere! (âoâ) My beloved wife is so violent! Lian Hua began to feel anxious in his heart, if his strength was lower than his beloved wife, then wouldnât that be very embarrassing? The truth immediately proved that Lian Hua was thinking too much.
The beauty quickly cleaned up the zombies following Lian Hua and flashed him a look of disgust. Lian Hua was surprised! Shit, your brother was just running away and rolling around, he must be absolutely hard to look at right now! So he quickly stood up, wiped his face, fixed his clothes, and faced the beauty with what he thought was a handsome âman*â smile. Wife, look over here, do you see your husbandâs authoritative smile?
*This was in Engrish.
The beauty relaxed their expression and actually laughed. Mom, the beauty is smiling at me, Lian Hua instantly made a foolish face again.
âWipe your face!â The beauty threw a piece of cloth over, Lian Hua hurriedly caught it. Oh my god, his wife was giving him a token of love! Lian Hua swooned, his wife was taking good care of him. Unexpectedly, his wifeâs voice was a little rough, but he doesnât hate it.
âI told you to wipe your face, do you know what you look like right now?â The beauty spoke up and Lian Huaâs bones numbed. The wifeâs words must be obeyed! Lian Hua condensed a ball of water and drenched himselfâŚ
=çż= Who was that tattered person in the water mirror? His clothes were torn to pieces, and covered in dirt, dust, blood, and strange fluids. There were red and white splotches, and even bloody fingerprints scattered over his face! Basically his appearance was hard to look at? Lian Hua burst into tears in his heart, he left a bad first impression on his wife! His heart sank, he didnât think he would be loved.
âBoss! You run too fast! Huff, huff⌠I was almost unable to catch up!â
Lian Hua ââŚâ
If his eyes werenât mistaken and he didnât have the wrong person, then wasnât the person who just ran up the elite next to Pig Leg?
âThe boss can handle things by himself, why are you chasing him?â
Lian Hua ââŚâ
Wasnât this man the âbody guardâ that always closely followed the elite? Wasnât he Pig Legâs personal bodyguard?
Lian Hua was suddenly inundated with information.
And these two people called the beauty Boss? Doesnât that mean that the beauty was Pig Leg? Lian Hua heard the sound of his heart breakingâŚ
This life was so cruel! For exampleâŚ
The goddess turned into a god in a split second?
Your wife turned into the enemy that wanted to kill you?
His wife was really a pig leg?
This is a really sad story!
Lian Hua really wanted to express some of the sadness in his heart. He closed his eyes and fainted on the ground with a thumpâŚ
Pig Leg ââŚâ Whatâs wrong with this idiot?
Xia Xingwen ââŚâ I havenât said anything yet! He seems to be overstimulated?
Xia Xingwu ââŚâ His wifeâs little mouth was lethal.
Lian Yu ââŚâ Master, how could you faint? What should Xiao Yu Er do now? These people are all terrifying, sob sob sob. ă_ă
Letâs rewind time for a few minutes.
âBoss, the zombies are rioting over there. It seems some fool is inciting them.â Xia Xingwen observed from afar and frowned.
âHeâs running towards us!â Xia Xingwen was furious.
âHave we stirred the hornetâs nest[1]? Could we have been exposed?â Xia Zhi mumbled to himself, but he didnât have the slightest bit of tension. Seeing that, Xia Xingwen was no longer nervous: âThen they can come, but not return!â His eyes shone with an eager expression.
âWatch carefully, donât mess up the Bossâs plans.â Xia Xingwu patted Xia Xingwen.
âDid I ask you to speak? Die, scram.â Xia Xingwen flared up.
Xia Xingwu didnât mind, he just revealing a tolerant smile, and looked affectionately at Xia Xingwen.
Xia Xingwen noticed and goosebumps erupted over his skin. He shivered and backed far away from Xia Xingwuâs arms while continuing to observe the zombies rioting in the distance.
âThereâs only one person!â Xia Xingwen thought it was quite strange, âIs it a suicide squad?â Xia Xingwen expressed considerable interest.
âNo, he should just be someone passing by. Donât worry about him, our mission takes priority.â
âBoss, how can you tell that heâs just someone passing by?â Xia Xingwen eyes were bright, his face full of worship.
Xia Zhi glanced at him, thin lips spit out a word: âIntuition!â
Xia Xingwen ââŚâ He isnât? Boss, you fooled me.
Xia Xingwu watched with a sour look and muttered, âEven I knew.â Why donât you look at me in worship?
Xia Xingwen gave Xia Xingwu a look of disgust, as if looking at a fool, making Xia Xingwu even more depressed.
âThe warrior up ahead, save me!â The person up ahead stumbled and shouted.
âShit! Is he retarded? Heâll lead even more zombies here.â Xia Xingwen exploded. He blinked his eyes and thought there was something weird. âThis voice sounds a little familiarâŚâ Xia Xingwen mumbled to himself.
But Xia Zhiâs shadow couldnât be seen next to them.
âSo fast!â Xia Xingwen was stunned.
Xia Xingwu mildly looked at him.
âWait for me, Boss!â Xia Xingwen yelled loudly and started to chase, Xia Xingwu helplessly followed.
Xia Zhi didnât know what was going on either. When he heard that personâs voice, his heart was full of resentment, but when that person was really in danger, he could not stand by and watch him die. Humans truly are complicated creatures. However, this person was no longer the one from before. Moreover, this one was still fun. Might as well let him live for now until he gets bored. As a result, when Xia Xingwen was still sluggishly looking around, Xia Zhi had already flown off to save people.
Looking at Lian Huaâs silly idiot appearance, combined with his miserable face, Xia Zhi finally couldnât hold back and happily laughed. Even he didnât know how long it had been since he laughed, so he decided to keep Lian Hua for a while.
Lian Hua also did not know that his biggest secret was seen through by Pig Leg. Right now, he was sitting dejectedly in Pig Legâs super cool big Hummer, mourning his springtime of youth. Although Pig Leg saved him, he wasnât happy at all that he fainted and was carried onto the Hummer.
Mom, your daughter in law flew off! Was he really fated to be forever alone?
He was so stupid, really! He already knew Pig Leg had a pocket dimension capable of farming and cultivating, an ultra level hack! How could he forget that cultivating could cleanse you down to your bone marrow! A dark layer would encompassing the entire body, smelling horribly foul. After bathing, he would become white and soft, fragrant and sweet, and look younger by several years!
He didnât expect that after bathing, Pig Leg would look so attractive! So beautiful! So tempting! Isnât this a crime/sin? With Pig Legâs appearance, when his comrades saw him, they must have been absolutely stunned!
Lian Huaâs guess was a little close, when Xia Zhi came out with this appearance, Xia Xingwen fell directly on the floor. Even Xia Xingwu was shocked for several minutes. If Xia Zhiâs voice wasnât the same, they definitely would have thought the beauty in front of them was fake. Luckily, he had a strong heart, Xia Xingwen was a heartless man, otherwise he would be very conflicted.
Lian Hua was very depressed. In these two lifetimes, this was his first time falling in love. He fell in love with the beauty at first sight, but it came to such a bitter conclusion.
He felt like his had become a zombie and was being crushed under Pig Legâs foot, leaving behind only a pile of rubbish that scattered in the wind. Tears fell and Lian Hua screamed as he clutched the glass heart that he shattered himself.
Translatorâs Notes:
My baby ă_ă
[1]缸水ä¸ĺźĺďźApparently this is a reference to World War II, but somehow I came across a saying that seems to mean âSomeone trying to do something with ill intentions but possibly harming yourself in the process.â
Iâm not sure if this is a thing, but the way the author used âblack clothesâ to refer to Xia Zhiâs apparel, it makes me think that Xia Zhi is wearing period clothes for some reason.
I really should have done a double release but⌠I donât update regularly⌠There was some awkward phrasing in this chapter lol. Also I realized I did that thing where I got to the end but I thought there was a lot left so I went to go do something else, but there was really only a page left, whoops. Had some awkward moral dilemmas and annoying lolis and shotas to take care of. I donât like kids >: Theyâre evil.