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Chapter 24: It’s a fact that he doesn’t like you.
The fireworks Xu Sui showed Zhou Jingze for New Year made him suddenly feel that this boring and lonely New Year was interesting. There was something worth looking forward to.
As soon as the New Year came, Xu Sui had a good start; when she used the bathroom, she accidentally dropped her phone into the toilet and destroyed it.
It didn’t take long before she calmed down her anxiety. It was time to be out with the old and in with the new. What’s more, she had fun this year but still hasn’t completed her assignments or memorized the medical terms. Without having a phone, she could calm down and focus.
If she needed to contact anyone, she could always use her grandma’s cell phone.
Once a person leaves the Internet and social platforms, one could achieve twice the result with half the effort. After only a day, Xu Sui found that her learning efficiency was extremely high.
It’s just that at night, she would be distracted while sitting in front of her desk. In the video call that day, the “miss you” Zhou Jingze unconsciously murmured was stuck to her heart like a soft thorn.
Once she thinks about it, her chest will become stuffy.
If he had someone he liked already, why is he treating her so nicely? He would inadvertently hand her warm milk, and as someone who is unspoken, he would sing to her on her birthday, send her to the high-speed rail station in person, and even spend time taking care of her cat. Or is it that he’s like this to every girl, messing around.
People who tend to be wandering doing these things were the easiest at attracting others. Zhou Jingze’s goodness even made Xu Sui wonder, does he like her at least a little bit?
But he could also send people into hell with a single word.
If it was that, Xu Sui wanted to ask him not to be so good to her, giving her false hope.
Then she would rather stand in the distance and like him far away.
This idea often drifts in Xu Sui’s heart, and once it occurs, it lingers no matter what. She couldn’t help but want to ask Zhou Jingze that after hesitating for several days, she finally decided to ask.
Because Xu Sui felt like she couldn’t hide her crush anymore.
On the tenth day of the New Year’s Day, Xu Sui’s lips were dry from memorizing the terms, but the two words “Zhou Jingze” were lingering around from time to time.
At four o’clock in the afternoon, the winter sun tilted down from the corner of the window sill, and the fine spots of light fell on the desk. Xu Sui’s phone broke, so she used grandma’s phone to send a message to Zhou Jingze.
She was nervous as her fingertips trembled slightly, but after a few deep breaths, she sent a text message:
【Can you not be so nice to me? 】
This time his tone was gentler than usual:【Aren’t you the one who’s treating me nicer?】
Xu Sui saw the message. Did he always know her thoughts? She lowered her eyes and continued texting:
【Not really
】
Five minutes later, Zhou Jingze replied: 【Okay. I asked someone to buy the thing you wanted last time. Take care of yourself outside. It’s late on your side, so rest early and good night.】
When Xu Sui saw the message, her mind went blank and became confused. She directly asked him: 【What are you talking about? There’s no time difference here?】
Three minutes later, Xu Sui received his reply, and she could feel the coldness and impatient across the screen:
【Who are you?】
Zhou Jingze never used this tone to talk to her. When she saw the three words, she explained:
【Xu Sui. I remember I told you a few days ago my phone was broken.】
She was nervous just now that she used her grandma’s phone to send a message to Zhou Jingze, and forgot to say who she was. Just now, Zhou Jingze seemed to treat her as someone else.
He returned quickly— hostile and indifferent— suppressing a bit of obvious anger: 【Are you not Sai Ning? She has been using her roommate’s cell phone to contact me recently, so I was texting the wrong person?】
Every word of Zhou Jingze was filled with impatience and faint anger. He thought Xu Sui was Sai Ning, so he kept replying to her in a gentle tone.
Every word like, “Who are you?” “she”, and “wrong “, as well as the girl’s name Sai Ning, all brightly reminded her.
He was only polite to you because of good manners.
For him, you’re someone he barely notices.
It’s a fact that he doesn’t like you.
This text message made Xu Sui feel ridiculous at herself. She stared straight at the screen, and her eyes were getting watery. A drop of crystal tears hit the screen and quickly blurred the vision in front of her. She quickly wiped the water on the screen with her finger and sent: 【Sorry.】
As if she was self-prepared from further damage, she blocked his phone number after sending that.
——
After the fifteenth, the college students had to return to university. The day Xu Sui had to leave Li Ying, her mother and grandmother stuffed many foods into her suitcase.
Xu Sui didn’t know whether to laugh or cry: “Mom, I can’t eat so much.”
Xu Sui was about to take out some stuff from the suitcase when Mother Xu patted her hand and re-zipped the zipper, in a rebuking tone: “Who said it was for you? Share some with your roommates so that they can treat my daughter nicely.”
“My roommates are very good, but thank you, mom!” Xu Sui said with a smile.
When Mother Xu sent Xu Sui to the high-speed rail station, she told Xu Sui to pay attention to her body, eat regularly, and call her whenever she needed.
Xu Sui stood at the high-speed rail station entrance and in a serious tone: “Something feels wrong.”
Mother Xu looked worried and pulled her aside: “Where do you feel uncomfortable? Should we go to the hospital now? What happened?”
“I was kidding,” Xu Sui said, taking her luggage.
“This child,” Mother Xu gently pinched Xu Sui and said with slight hesitation: “Yi Yi, remember to study hard when you go back to university and remember what mother expects of you. The most important thing for you at this stage is your studies. You can talk about love after graduation.”
Mother Xu had been keeping those words in her heart for a long time. Like how a mother knows her child best, before the New Year she noticed Xu Sui was excited, staring at her mobile phone from time to time, but now she seems down, often wandering.
Most of the troubles at this age are related to romantic feelings. Mother Xu had always been strict with her child, and she still hopes that Xu Sui can focus on her studies.
Speaking of crush, Xu Sui thought of a certain name, and her eyes dimmed for a moment: “I understand, mom.”
When she returned to school, Xu Sui dragged her suitcase into the dorm. When she opened the door, Liang Shuang was watering flowers on the balcony while Hu Xixi, who wore a pair of black-framed sunglasses, was directing the boys to help move in the luggage.
Everything was so familiar.
“I’m back!” Xu Sui came in with a smile.
“Baby, miss me?” Hu Xixi took off her sunglasses and rushed over.
“Well—” Xu Sui prolonged, and her tone changed, “It was ok.”
Hu Xixi immediately tried to tickle her, but Xu Sui smiled and avoided her; the two of them quarreled.
After resting for a long time, they each went to their class to review at night.
When the schedule was distributed, and Xu Sui received the new textbooks, she found that her courses were significantly harder than the first half of the semester. She secretly made up her mind to forget that person.
After the beginning of the new semester, Xu Sui arranged her time to be busy every day, either attending classes, hiding in the library, or studying on the rooftop.
She still didn’t buy a new phone yet that she would use her laptop to log in to QQ if something happened– things were either on QQ or sent as emails.
Xu Sui didn’t know what she was avoiding. Sometimes, when she logged on to QQ, she would see Zhou Jingze’s profile active but in a busy state, probably playing games.
Since she secretly added him to QQ in high school, his profile was gray most of the time. A few times, it would be active; it was like he was not in her life, and the colors that appeared in her world were only short-lived.
She even suspected that Zhou Jingze had no idea that she secretly added him when she was in high school. To him, she was just a stranger lying on the contact list.
Liang Shuang also noticed the change in Xu Sui’s state that it made her unable to focus on her studies. In addition to how hard it was to review, she had to follow Xu Sui to the library and back to the dorm to review every day.
When Liang Shuang was sitting on the bed applying nail polish, she remembered something and asked: “Sui Sui, the teacher in class today asked people to label a diagram of the human body, and only you have memorized it. Studying is too difficult for me, but you seem very relaxed. Do you have any tips for me?”
“Yes, come down,” Xu Sui said while sitting at the desk.
Liang Shuang immediately got out of bed. Xu Sui sat on the chair and opened the book. She took out a red marker from the pencil case and said in a warm voice: “Since people have different ways, you can go look through it all first and then apply the thinking. The diagram could be subdivided into the physical signs of the bones, nerve-oriented
”
Liang Shuang listened, and her thoughts wandered around as she stared at Xu Sui’s long hair that was put up with a pencil. A few strands of her hair were scattered on the side. Her lips were cherry-like, red, and smooth.
“Liang Shuang, are you listening?” Xu Sui asked with a good temper.
Liang Shuang regained her senses and immediately apologized: “Sorry Baby Xu, repeat it. You’re so good-looking that I lost focus.”
Xu Sui repeated her words. When she was about to go over the blood vessels, Hu Xixi entered the room dejected. Liang Shuang looked at her and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“F*ck, Lu Wenbai is too hard to get. I told him I want to chase him.”
“En, and then?”
“He told me to dream on!” Hu Xixi said angrily.
“Don’t be sad. Men are nothing,” Liang Shuang comforted her.
“That’s right! I’ll give your comment a like!”
Hu Xixi’s emotions change quickly. She sat on a chair and played on her phone. Suddenly, she turned her head and said: “Sui Sui, they said they’re going to go eat later. Do you want to go? Zhou Jingze is coming too.”
Xu Sui was using a marker to write notes on the book. After hearing what Xixi said, her elbow moved slightly, and the marker made a long stroke on the diagram of the human body, pointing directly to the heart organ.
She lowered her eyes: “I won’t go. I have something to do tonight.”
At first, Xu Sui could use this excuse to dodge Hu Xixi. But after a long time, Hu Xixi felt something was wrong and asked her: “What’s the matter with you two? Is it my uncle bullying you? I’ll beat him up.”
“Nope, you misunderstood. Xixi, don’t worry about it,” Xu Sui smiled. She changed the subject, “This semester has a lot of assignments, so I’ve been really busy. I even thought of transferring to the Department of Veterinary Medicine.”
“Hai, we’re also suffering! We catch wild cats on the campus every day for treatment, but they run away as soon as they see us,” Hu Xixi complained.
“Hey, speaking of wild cats, is 1017 still with my uncle?” Hu Xixi asked.
Xu Sui nodded. Since the beginning of school, she didn’t go see Zhou Jingze take back 1017. Either way, it was his cat.
She never hung out with them again, and the words Zhou Jingze were tucked away in a hidden corner in her heart. Xu Sui often went to the library, but she didn’t expect to run into Shi Yuejie many times there. The two became well-acquainted with each other that they would go to the cafeteria together sometimes.
After class on Friday, Xu Sui suddenly remembered the oden stall outside the campus. She grabbed her books and hurried out of the school door to buy food.
In mid-March, there was a chill in the spring breeze. The willow trees outside the campus ground bloomed. When the wind blew, catkins fell everywhere, slowly drifting onto one’s shoulder.
Xu Sui got a portion of oden. After paying the money, she turned around and raised her eyes casually. At a glance, she saw Zhou Jingze in a crowd not far away.
He was wearing a thin black coat. His hair was also shorter, making his eyebrows appear darker and sharper. He bit on a cigarette and stood in the middle of the crowd. Not knowing what they were talking about, she saw him give a light and sloppy smile.
The wind blew by, and the soot rustled to the ground.
Sheng Nanzhou saw Xu Sui and nudged Zhou Jingze’s shoulder. Zhou Jingze lowered his head. Someone passed a lighter, and he lit another cigarette, holding his hands together to block the wind.
The scarlet fire blazed, and he raised his eyebrows for a second. After he finished smoking, he returned to the jovial and lively talk.
He didn’t glance at Xu Sui at all.
Even though they haven’t seen each other for nearly a month, Xu Sui felt that without her, his life had not changed. It was still splendid and brilliant.
She retracted her gaze from him and lowered her eyes, hurriedly walking towards the school gate with the oden. The wind blew, making her eyes sore and hard to open.
My love for you is over the mountains, but you’ve brushed past me countless times.
You are the scenery that was never mine.