The title, which felt as lofty and hazy as a cloud, materialized in reality, gaining skin and eyes through the young lord. The weight of that title weighed heavier than ever on Luisen.
Heâd made wrong decisions before, so was there any guarantee he wouldnât mess things up again? There wasnât. Luisen became miserable, caught up in vague fantasies of everything that could go wrong. Fear ate reason, pushing him into anxiety and depressionâmaking it hard for him to think.
âItâs not good to dwell like thisâŠ.â Luisen shook his head. âWhat did the saint say to do when one becomes depressed? He said to make the body exhausted.â
Luisen was a faithful believer and walked tirelessly through the palace halls, as if he believed that such continual pacing would end his anxiety.
****
Time flew by, and soon it became the day of Carltonâs departure.
With the sun dimly shining in the sky, it was even quieter than nighttime; the cold early morning air was icy. The preparations for departure had finally finished.
As soon as Carlton walked out, his men brought the horses. He patted at the horseâs glossy mane, checking its condition. They planned to make the long trip to the capital without stopping. Those who could not keep up with their captainâs speed would set off on a different path, earlier than the others.
In a way, he was more cautious going back to the capital than he was coming down south. Carlton had wondered if there was a need to go this far, but he was bothered to hear about the schemes that the southâs nobles were conspiring.
As Luisen had advised, he wished he could send an advance reconnaissance team, but he couldnât afford that.
Carlton looked back at the dukeâs castle.
It was an incredibly large and old building. He remembered how shocked he was to see such a grand building when he first arrived. Even then he was eager to leave even a day faster and return quickly; now that it was time to leave, he felt bittersweet. He had run into many headaches and annoyances here, but despite everything, he had been more comfortable here than anywhere else.
There was food all over the place; the skies were always clear and blued. He felt relaxed and merciful just looking at the open fields. Perhaps this was why the southerners were so relaxed and complacent: living their whole lives in places like this, there must not have been much to worry about.
âThis is the last Iâll be here; maybe I should have said my proper goodbyes.â Regrets still lingered in him. However, it was already time to leave.
âLetâs go,â Carlton said.
âYes.â
At Carltonâs order, everyone mounted their horses. Just as Carlton mounted his horse, a glistening head of hair popped out of the castle through the early morning fog. It was Luisen.
âAh, what a relief. You havenât left yet.â
Carlton was surprised by the lordâs unexpected appearance. âI thought we decided that send offs were unnecessary?â His tone was rough but curiously soft.
âAh, I wanted to ask you for a favor with this.â Luisen held out a small package and a letter. Carlton looked down at his outstretched hands without taking it. âWhen you get to the capital, would you please hand this to Marquis Natrang?â
âWasnât Marquis Natrang the former commander-in-chief?â
âThatâs right. Though heâs just a retired man now.â
âEven though he may be retired, the Marquis wouldnât deign to meet with a man like me.â
âIf you use my name, youâll be able to meet him. Please say itâs a belated birthday present and make sure to give it to him.â
âDid you run out of the castle just for this?â
âIt just crossed my mind a moment ago.â
Carlton creased his brows. It felt too forced, remembering an acquaintanceâs birthday present all of a sudden and insisting on Carlton as his messenger. After all, now the duke could send one of his own men. That would reflect better on his image.
Heedless of Carltonâs thoughts, Luisen quickly continued, âMarquis Natrang is an ill-tempered but romantic old man. Heâll kindly view your warrior-like spirit and temperament. When you go to the capital, search out people like himâthose who know the horrors of the battlefield and will value your reckless ambition the most.â
âThen, this isâŠâ
The gift and the letter were an excuse to give Carlton a chance to meet the Marquis. Carlton, who made the largest contributions in the war but had the worst reputation, had no title or land to his name. If he wanted to meet somelike like Marquis Natrang, heâd have to make use of Duke Aniesâ handwritten letter.
In reality, it was a gift to Carlton. The mercenary never thought heâd receive such a parting gift; he looked at him suspiciously. âWhy are you helping me?â
Considering his actions, Carlton would have nothing to say to defend himself if Luisen held a grudge against him. When his temper ran out of control, he behaved awfully with the young lord.
âWho knows,â Luisen said.
The young lord spent all night thinking and ran out to hand him a presentâand all Carlton had to give in return were his doubts.
That was so like Carlton, Luisen couldnât help but smile. Last night, after talking to Carlton, Luisen had been locked down by his anxieties and kept thinking about him. Carltonâs rush to leave also tugged at his mind.
âWhy?â He searched for the reason, but was only able to reach a conclusion just a while ago.
âI want you to be successful,â Luisen said.
Before regression, Luisen and Carlton had both made wrong decisions in the Anies duchy. Carlton was still a troubling existence for Luisen, but he hoped, nevertheless, that Carlton too would face a different future.
After all, if his future changes, wonât Luisenâs future change as well?
It was an irrational and superstitious beliefâand their future had nothing to do with each otherâbut Luisen would feel at peace if the other lived his best life. He had to give an excuse, create some pretext to hide that he had been running around all night, to hide his ridiculous logic.
âHurry and take it.â Luisen forced the package into Carltonâs hands. The mercenary stared blankly at Luisen while holding the package.
Carlton had never heard something so shameless in his entire life. No oneâno parents, brothers, nor friendsâhad said something like that to him. âReallyâŠThereâs people like him in the world?â
He received another blow from Luisen; the young lord was really a man who exceeded expectations till the end.
Carltonâs heart pounded violently. His pulse raced, chills traveled up his spine, and his face felt flushed with heat.
The sounds in the background seemed to grow further away; everything except Luisen was erased. It felt like he and the lord were the only ones left in the world. All of his senses were directed on Luisen.
Luisenâs blue eyes wandered the air before refocusing on Carlton; the wind tousled his hair. The mercenaryâs eyes couldnât help but look at the slight movement of his hair and the pale red of his blush. Luisenâs low laugh, hiding his embarrassment, shook his heart.
âWhy am I like this? Why is my heart racing so suddenly? Am I just shocked?â Carlton was confused.
At that moment, Carltonâs men called out to him, âCaptain.â
As if someone had poured cold water on him, Carlton came to his senses; his men and Luisen looked at him strangely.
âWe have to leave.â
âIâve held up someone who has a long road ahead of him, it seems. Have a safe trip.â
Carlton almost blurted out that he was fine, to continue to take up his time. Fortunately, or unfortunately, logic returned and he chose the appropriate words carefully. His goodbyes. ââŠâŠYes. Take care of yourself too, Duke.â
Luisen ran back into the castle afterwards. Somehow the growing distance between him and the lordâs retreating back was so bittersweet; Carlton couldnât take his eyes off of him. Only when Luisen closed the door did he manage to remount his horse and set off. And even then, again and again, he would look back in regret, but he was unable to stop his horse.
*****
Luisen woke up in the middle of the day after making up for the loss of sleep the night before. Carlton and his men had disappeared neatly, without a trace.
Luisen had returned to the lordâs chamber, which had been turned over to Carlton. Not one echo of the mercenary remained in the tidy room. The cleanliness was all thanks to the butler and the servants who worked hard to prepare the room for Luisen, but the emptiness felt somehow unfamiliar. Luisen stared blankly at his desk for a while.
The entire castle was in a festive mood; it was their long-awaited liberation day.
No more monitoring of the people in the castle; no more restrictions on their actions. The displeasure of watching strangers walk around the castle as if it were their own home had ended. There was no longer a need to walk on thin ice with bated breaths.
The wide open front gates were like the symbol of the end of hardship. Those who were looking forward to the official opening cheered. As if it were waiting on the other side, a cart carrying wheat came in; families and lovers who had been separated due to unavoidable circumstances reunited in tears.
Under a clear autumn sky, the peopleâs laughter spread around the town.
Carlton, famous for his cruelty, brought forth a dismal mood of death when the duchy fell under his control, but now that he had left, the duchy had not lost much. Few people had died and the castleâs infrastructure remained intact.
With this situation, public opinion, those who were previously mocking Luisenâs surrender, had also been turned on its head. He became known as the clever lord who had gained much by putting aside his pride. They had praised the Duke of Anies as one who was adaptable and able to modernize.
Without paying attention to how the people gossiped, Luisen led a busy life.
He had to collect taxes, run delayed trials, and return the administrative structure to normal. The other southern lords would probably send men for their own safety and spying, so he had to prepare to deal with them. Before, Luisen might have left this work to his retainers, but he, with the intent to learn, slowly made some progress in his duties.
He just had to try.
He had been so nervous before Carlton had left, but as the days passed, his anxiety diminished.
âAs the saint said, humans are fascinating individualsâwhen a crisis approaches, they will do whatever it takes.â Luisen once again praised the saintâs wisdom.
TL: The end of an arc~ I do find it fascinating how the dynamic has changed between the two and how the power struggle has shifted.
Also, a note for those that arenât in the discord, Iâll be going on a vacation for 11 days, so my updates will be more sporadic. I wonât stop, but I might also have less time to TL!