I didnāt want to waste any more time and effort in something pointless.
I didnāt want to look like a fool.
I had a lot of reasons⦠No, I had a lot of excuses.
Either way, it only made me realize once again how pathetic and weak my own existence was. My fate might have already been set in stone when I discovered I had healing magic. It was also possible that I was fated to live a miserable life the moment I was born.
āUuuā¦.ā
I was sitting in a back alleyway devoid of people.
This was a convenient place for me since non-humans didnāt pass through here. As I stared at the ground, I felt a sense of helplessness tormenting my body.
Around the time Mina and her group started to bully me, I found this place and would always escape here. No one else came here. No one would talk to me anyways.. so this was my own secret hiding spot. Even if someone discovered this alley, there was nothing special about it so they would easily forget about it. I felt truly at peace here.
āUuā¦.. Uuu.ā
I was crying here like usual.
Without the need to worry about feeling any sense of shame or stares from others, I cried.
I always cried here when I got bullied but I was crying for a different reason today.
āIām.. Sorry⦠Iām⦠Sorā¦ryā¦ā
I ran away.
I ran away from Usato⦠No, I ran away from Mina.
Just from seeing the look on Minaās face yesterday, and how she was laughing and looking down at me⦠I couldnāt help but feel a real sense of fear. It was pathetic of me but I understood something from that. Mina could only make an expression like that due to the confidence she obtained from abusing me for all these years⦠She was insane.
My body trembled. Whether I wanted it or not, the faint hope that I had for victory disappeared just like that.
I thought I had matured a little. Even though I had a burdensome healing magic attached to me and my life was messed up, I thought I would grow. Then, I would become as strong as Usato one dayā¦..
With those thoughts alone, I was somehow able to stick with the training.
Even when I felt like I would faint, I gritted my teeth and held my ground.
When a Blue Grizzly chased after me, I desperately ran, fearing that it would take my life.
Usato-san would never shout at me harshly so I would frantically try my best to be recognized.
But the moment I faced Minaās pure malice, I cooled down instantly.
It was called training but all I did was run.
What was the point of training my legs?
Why did I have to use healing magic as I ran?
Was there a reason I had to experience something so painful? Arenāt there other ways to win?
Stop it. This is wrong.
Iām just making up convenient excuses.
There was definitely a good reason for Usato-sanās training. Despite only training for a few days, I felt some differences in my body. My body felt lighter and my stamina went up by quite a bit.
These were the results of training for just two days. There was nothing wrong with Usato-sanās training. It was obviously me who was wrong.
I was supposed to meet Usato-san right now and train. Instead, I was sitting here in such a sorry state and drowning in despair.
āā¦Iām⦠an idiotā¦ā\nI was afraid of fighting Mina.
There was nothing I dreaded more than fighting against her.
If I lost against her, something even worse would happen to me. I didnāt want to imagine what exactly would happen but it wouldnāt be strange for Mina to come up with something to exceed my expectations.
In that case, remaining like this was just fine.
It was fine as long as the unfortunate things only happened to me. But if I lose against Mina, Usato-san and the other hero beside him would have to compensate. Since I ran away from the duel, I would be the one to shoulder all the blameā¦
āI didnāt want anyone to have any expectations for meā¦ā
It was better to not cling onto some small hope.
It was fine as long as I was the only one who was hurt.
Since all I could do was heal myself, I didnāt mind being hurt.
By doing this, no one would expect anything from me. I would also not have any expectations for someone to help me.
Whether it was Usato-san, that hero, or the beast girl Kiriha-san who lent me a place to sleepā¦. None of them would have anything to do with me anymore.
āā¦..Uuā¦.Uuah.ā
My tears kept flowing as I immersed myself in my own thoughts.
I started to recall what I did in the past two days.
It was nothing but difficult training.
Despite this training being pushed onto me, it was done with good intentions in mind. I experienced kindess again from others for the first time in a while.
Usato-san tried to train someone as useless as me.
He didnāt abandon a failure of a healing magician like me.
No matter how many times I lost consciousness, he would encourage me.
When I was exhausted and couldnāt move, he would carry me back to Kiriha-sanās house and allow me to eat some warm cooking.
I remembered the scene of Usato-san talking cheerfully with the family of beast kin. They had crossed the set barriers that usually divided them.
Kiriha-san, Kyou-san, and Satsuki didnāt frown at Usato-san even once.
Since I always ate dinner alone, this scene felt especially vivid and bright in my memory.
āUuā¦..Ahā¦..Aaahā¦..ā
I destroyed everything with my own hands. I wouldnāt be able to experience something like that again⦠I didnāt have a future anymore.
At the very least, these warm memories allowed me to temporarily forget about that unpleasant family of mine.
This time, I really had nothing left.
I could only wait for Mina to carry out her punishment on me.
But this was my own fault. I was the one who gave up. I just hope that my actions donāt inconvenience Usato-san and his friends. As long as I would bear the burden alone, I will accept any of Minaās conditions. Everything will be over with that.
āā¦ā¦ā
I swallowed my own sobs and frantically used my sleeves to wipe my tears.
Letās go.
I wasnāt a beast kin but I will kneel down if Mina tells me to. No matter what she tells me to do, I will do it.
Instead of trying to fight Mina and miserably lose to her, it was better for me to choose the path that would lessen my pain by admitting defeat.
āI should goā¦ā
āAlright, I found you.ā
āEhā¦..ā
Just as I was about to get up, I heard a cheerful voice. It resounded in this narrow alleyway and felt out-of-place.
Upon hearing that voice, my legs felt weak and I sat back down where I was. I turned toward where the voice came from.. there stood a young man who wore a white coat in this dark and gloomy space.\nSince it was so dark, I couldnāt see his face. But from his build and voice alone, I knew who it was. My mouth unconsciously moved and said,
āUsato-sanā¦.ā
*
Finding Nack was quite easy.
Although I say it was easy, I would have had a difficult time finding Nack by myself. But with Bluerin and Amako here, the story changed.
I used Bluerinās nose to track Nackās scent first. Following Bluerin, we got the general idea and direction of where Nack was. As we followed Bluerin, Amako would look into the future. She would check different paths we had taken in the future and see whether or not Nack was there.
Bluerin basically narrowed down our search area while Amako pinpointed Nackās position. It was the perfect combination and coordination⦠Although I was completely useless.
As a result, we were able to easily find Nack. When I first spotted him, he was sobbing and I panicked.
Was my training really that tough!? Youāre kidding rightā¦. I thought I did my best to be as gentle as possible.
Rose never gave me any breaks but I would give them frequently to Nack.
Wait⦠Wasnāt giving breaks during training something obvious to begin with?
ā¦ā¦
A-anyhow⦠I ignored the condemning gazes from the fox girl and bear behind me and walked towards Nack. Iāll try talking to him one-on-one.
I did my best and called out to him in the friendliest voice possible. Seeing Nackās response, it looked like he was willing to talk so I sat next to him.
The sunās rays didnāt reach this alleyway so the ground was nice and cool. Nack looked at me when I sat down but hung his head in shame shortly after.
āAh, eh⦠how?ā
āThis town isnāt that big. Finding you was no trouble for us.ā
Even though I sounded confident, I didnāt actually do anything.
Seeing Nack looking at me with surprise and shock, I couldnāt help but laugh a little at myself.
āSorry. Looks like I was a little too strict with you. I should have realized that since it was still my first time trying to teach someone. I still have a long way to go.ā
āThatās⦠not it. I ran away. Itās not your fault, Usato-san. I⦠I was intimidated by Mina and lost my resolution to fight against herā¦.ā
āIntimidatedā¦.?ā
It looked like it wasnāt the trainingās fault.
Then why was he here crying? I tilted my head to the side in confusion as Nack started to explain.
After listening to his explanation, it was evident that he was scared of Mina⦠This wasnāt as simple as I thought. Mina was deeply embedded in Nackās psyche. She was powerful enough to completely crush Nackās determination just by meeting him.
Nackās image of Mina was probably beyond my imagination.
āIs Mina bullying you because youāre a healing magician?ā
I didnāt ask this before since it was a sensitive topic. However, I couldnāt leave things as they now that weāve come this far.
āā¦.Back in my hometown, we were just acquaintances. But my family was on good terms with her familyā¦ā
So they were nothing but acquaintances and their families got along⦠Huh? If I recall correctly, Mina was the daughter of a noble. Did that mean that Nack belonged in the same class?
It didnāt really make sense. If Nack was a noble just like Mina, then Mina should treat Nack the same since they were similar.
But the reality was completely different.
āI understand your doubts, Usato-san. My family indeed belongs to the noble class. Even within the nobles, my family is the most influential. Iām aware I lived quite a good life before coming here.ā
āCould you explain in more detail?ā
āThe people in my family have a history of being born with the ability to use water magic. My father even purposely chose someone who could use water magic as his bride. That person later on became my mother⦠Of course, my fatherās plan was to initially hire an instructor to teach me water magic butā¦ā
āā¦.But you have healing magic, huh.ā
āYes. Before coming here, I had just turned 9 years old and was celebrating my birthday with my little sister. It had already been arranged beforehand to examine both our magic talents on this day. My parents and my little sister naturally thought I could use water magic⦠But the result was that only my little sister demonstrated the aptitude for water magic.ā
Although Nack was mocking and laughing at himself, I could feel a sense of emptiness from him.
This situation already went beyond the worst case scenario I thought of in my head.\n\nāIāve been entrusted with an important mission so I canāt personally lead you to Lyngle right now. Therefore, Iāll write a letter for you to take instead⦠But since Iām still unfamiliar with using these characters to write, itāll probably take me quite a bit of time.ā
Nack sucked in a breath of air and looked down. It looked like he needed some time for my words to settle in.
I advanced the conversation on my own but now all I could do was wait for Nack to make a decision. If he were to go with Olga-san and Uluru-san, I wouldnāt need to worry. The problem was there was a high possibility of Rose saying āJust when did you become so important that you could add a group member to the Rescue Squad on your own? Huh??ā Then Rose would get mad and start beating me up⦠I was a little scared.
Huh..? Didnāt that mean that I would face the consequences if I returned back safely from this journey?
ā¦H-hmm. I probably shouldnāt think about it for now.
āIāve already said this much. What do you want to do?ā
āā¦.Is it⦠really okayā¦.?ā
āYou donāt need to think like that⦠Youāre the one deciding. Iām just showing you one path you can take.ā
Just like how Rose showed me a path when I first arrived in this world, it was now my turn to show Nack a path.
I looked at Nack and presented my hand to him. Nack looked at my hand and his eyes visibly quivered. He extended one of his hands to meet mine⦠But as they were about to touch, he stopped.
āI think⦠I will fight against Mina after allā¦ā
āYou donāt have to force yourself, you know?ā
There was no need to burden yourself with something you couldnāt handle.
Nack slowly shook his head and looked directly at me with his swollen red eyes. He looked serious. Within his black and dull eyes, something had obviously changed. He looked much more reliable now. There was a spark that wasnāt there before.
āRight now, I donāt have the right to be at the place you recommended. Iāll properly sever this tie I have with Mina. Unless I face her head on, Iāll never be able to be satisfied with myself. Thatās whyā¦ā
He paused briefly before grabbing onto my hand and pulling himself up.
āThatās why⦠Please continue the training with me!!ā
I felt like this was the first time Nack truly wanted to overcome this. He was similar to me back then.
It was a strange feeling but I didnāt hate it.
In that case⦠I should stop trying to project myself onto him. Taking it easy on Nack wouldnāt actually help him. In fact, it was impolite.
āI got it. But this time I wonāt be so gentle. Even if you faint or ask me to stop, I wonāt stop. If you faint, Iāll wake you up. Even if you somehow lose your legs, Iāll restore them back to normal. No matter what happens, Iāll make sure youāre constantly using healing magic.ā
āEhā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦. I-Iāll do it! I wonāt complain anymore!!ā
We still had time, we can make it.
I felt like I saw his determination waver a bit⦠Perhaps I was just seeing things?
ā¦.Well, I probably didnāt need to worry about it.
āLetās get out of this dark place. Letās go back to the school and resume the training.ā
āYes!ā
I headed towards where Bluerin and Amako were waiting.
The time I had left to train Nack including today was 3 days. We lost a bit of time but it wasnāt really a big deal. Nack was overflowing with motivation now and I wouldnāt go easy on him anymore.
I actually didnāt want him to experience Roseās methods but Nack looked confident right now. He didnāt have a single trace of unwillingness anymore.
Even so, was I capable of using Roseās methods on someone elseā¦? No, it wasnāt a matter of whether I could do it or not. Itās I WOULD do it. Nack had faith in me. It was my duty to respond to that.
Iāll throw away these useless thoughts of pity and sympathy for Nack.
For Nackās sake, Iāll steel myself and become a demon.
Right now, I didnāt mind even if people called me a fiend or the devil.
I wonāt just teach Nack what Rose taught me, Iāll beat it into his body.
We had 3 days remaining. During this time, Iā I will become a sadistic brute.
āā¦.Uu⦠C-coldā¦.ā
ā?ā
Nack was walking next to me and his face suddenly paled. Was something wrong?