Chapter 3

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<hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-black-background-color has-black-color is-style-wide">\nI’ve Been Against Him From The Very Beginning\n

<hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-black-background-color has-black-color is-style-wide">\n This was Xie Xue’s brother, Xie Qingcheng.\n

 Xie Qingcheng once treated He Yu’s illness as his family’s personal physician. \n

 He Yu looked no different from a normal person and the impression he gave outsiders had always been ‘kind-hearted and moderate, who excelled both morally and academically’. However, the He family had a little-known secret – their enviable “other family’s child”  had a rare mental disorder since childhood.\n

 It was an isolated case with medical records on only four patients so far. Each patient’s basic condition was similar. There were congenital defects in their hormonal and nervous systems; during derangements, their moods would drastically change. They’d usually feel a keen sense of apathy, but the moment their disorder flared up, they’d become crazy and bloodthirsty, holding intense destructive or self-destructive tendencies. They all had standard antisocial personalities, occasional high-temperature fevers, derangement and such symptoms. Each episode was more serious than the previous. \n

 The clinical term for this disorder is “Psychological Ebola”. It would gradually disintegrate one’s psychological state and numb their body. Both flesh and heart had to die twice. The disorder worsens with time; just like cancer, the patient would gradually progress from a person with full civil conduct and capacity to nothing but a complete lunatic.\n

 Unable to withstand the torture, Cases 1-3 died before they completely lost it.\n

 He Yu was Case 4.\n

 His parents took him to many renowned doctors, domestic and abroad, but it was useless. The doctors believed the only method of delay was to first have medical personnel accompany He Yu under long-term monitored therapy treatment to reduce morbidity.\n

 The He family took into consideration various factors before finally finding Xie Qingcheng, who was only twenty-one years old then. \n

 That year, He Yu was eight years old.\n

 But now He Yu was already nineteen and Xie Qingcheng was thirty-two.\n

 Xie Qingcheng appeared more composed – or even indifferent – than before. He never heavily reacted to situations, so he didn’t show too much surprise at He Yu’s sudden return – he only spent a few seconds sizing up the youth he hadn’t seen for the past three or four years, then disregarded He Yu’s polite pleasantries.\n

 Given his age and social status, he had no interest nor need to make small talk with a boy who wasn’t even twenty.\n

 He only asked, “Why are you here?”\n

 “I-“\n

 “It’s already this hour. This is the women’s staff dormitory building.”\n

 He Yu smiled lightly. Although he wanted to curse, ‘bullshit, aren’t you here too?’ he still courteously said, “I haven’t seen Xie-laoshi for such a long time that while talking I forgot the time. I’m really sorry, Dr Xie.”\n

 “You don’t have to call me Dr Xie. I’m not a doctor anymore.”\n

 He Yu whispered, “Sorry, I’m used to it.”\n

 “…Aiya.” Noticing the rigid atmosphere between the two, Xie Xue quickly tried to mediate. “Um, da-ge, don’t be so serious with your straight face… He Yu, sit, you don’t have to be so nervous either. We haven’t seen each other for a long time.”\n

 As she spoke, she distanced herself from He Yu and acted very polite – she did this often. She was relaxed and more intimate hanging out with him alone, but once other people were present, especially Xie Qingcheng, she would maintain a polite distance from him.\n

 He Yu guessed she behaved as such due to trauma from Xie Qingcheng’s teachings since young. Her brother, who was like a big shot from the feudal society, was the standard straight male cancer; in addition, he heavily favoured male chauvinism and was extremely sexist.\n

 This kind of person is often very sensitive to the hidden dangers threatening his female relatives’ safety. When Xie Xue was younger, Xie Qingcheng didn’t even let her wear a skirt higher than her knees. Once, her school organized a home-school performance and Xie Xue performed a breakdance. Under the stage, Xie Qingcheng’s face had almost completely blackened. When the little girl stepped off the stage, he asked with a long face why she participated in such a nonsensical dance rehearsal before forcibly covering her with his suit jacket.\n

Right now, although it was only eight or nine o’clock, Xie Qingcheng still thought it was late and very inappropriate for He Yu and his sister, who were both single, to stay together. \n

 As expected, Xie Qingcheng entered the room, pulled out a chair, and sat down. The family master crossed his long legs; as he loosened his cufflink, he raised his eyes indifferently at He Yu. \n

 “Tell me, how come it’s so coincidental of you to have gotten admitted into the same university and course Xie Xue is teaching?”\n

 “…”\n

 This attitude was truly too macho, a complete occupational disease. For a moment, He Yu felt as if he was a patient entering the hospital for assistance, yet the doctor was in a bad mood and sternly asked:  “Tell me, where are you feeling uncomfortable?”\n

 Thinking like this, He Yu found it a little funny.\n

 Seeing how he didn’t answer for a good while and the corners of his lips even seemed to have an indistinct smile, Xie Qingcheng eyes cooled: “You can’t answer?”\n

 “…”\n

 He was wrong, he wasn’t a doctor questioning a patient. \n

His tone sounded more like police interrogating a criminal.\n

 He Yu sighed. “That’s not it.”\n

 “Then answer.”\n

 “I felt unadapted abroad and I like the playwright-directing course. How do you want me to explain why it’s so coincidental?” He Yu smiled as if he had a good temperament. “I’m not a fortune teller.”\n

 “You like playwright-directing?”\n

 “Yes.”\n

 Xie Qingcheng didn’t ask more because his gaze was drawn to the “Ham and Egg Fried Mound” He Yu was holding.\n

 Xie Qingcheng frowned: “…What’s this?”\n

 He Yu really wanted to throw the plate at Xie Qingcheng’s face, which wore an expression that looked as if someone owed him a billion dollars, and ask ‘what’s it matter to you?’\n

But hindered by Xie Xue’s presence, the boy could only courteously smile at her brother and answer, “Yangzhou fried rice.”\n

Xie Qingcheng scrutinised it for a moment with a chilly expression. “Take your apron off, I’ll make another serving.”\n

 “…”\n

 “How did you survive all these years abroad?”\n

 “…By ordering takeout.”\n

 Xie Qingcheng gaze sharpened with reproach.\n

For some reason, that gaze reminded him of the first time they met. On the villa’s newly-trimmed greenfield, Xie Qingcheng had lowered his head to look at his seven-year-old self, his chilling eyes looking as if it could tear open his heart. \n

It was He Yu’s birthday. A group of children played in the He family’s large villa; when they got tired from playing, they chatted on the gravelled white sand by the lake cliff and talked about their dream job.\n

 “I want to be a celebrity when I grow up!”\n

 “I want to be a scientist.”\n

 “I want to be an astronaut!”\n

 One chubby boy was unsure of what he wanted to be but didn’t want to show it. He looked around and happened to catch sight of the housekeeper leading a young doctor through the front yard.\n

Between the green lawn and clear, blue sky, the young doctor held a bouquet of flowers bought to greet the property’s master. The splendid summer hydrangeas, silver willow, and fresh double-petalled roses were wrapped in a pale-silver silk tissue paper, and uniquely covering the bouquet was an adorned layer of tulle. \n

 Xie Qingcheng held the flowers in one hand while the other was casually placed in his pocket. He wore a clean, fitting white laboratory coat, two ballpoint pens pinned to his chest. Because he wasn’t formally at work, his coat was unbuttoned, revealing a light-grey shirt he wore inside; his long legs were also covered by a pair of casual trousers. \n

 The little fatty was dumbfounded. After a while, he stretched out a short and fat sausage finger and pointed at Xie Qingcheng. With a resounding voice, he said: “I want to be… I want to be a doctor!”\n

 Suddenly the wind became more urgent and the merchant who sold the flowers wrapped the bouquet too damn inattentively; the tulle from Xie Qingcheng’s bouquet was blown away. The white fabric instantly floated to the lawn and landed when the wind stopped.\n

 All the children looked up at the white tulle, which finally landed impartially before He Yu, the only one lacking interest.\n

 “…” Although He Yu didn’t like the medics, pharmacologists, and scientific researchers who’d often appear at his home, he was used to being courteous. So he bowed his head, picked up the supple square-tulle, and walked over-\n

 “Doctor, your thing dropped.”\n

 He tilted up his face and met a pair of indifferent pupils.\n

 It was summer, but it made He Yu, who was learning Tang poetry at that time, inexplicably thought of a phrase: “The sound of snow inclined to the bamboo forest.”\n

 Xie Qingcheng lowered his head to receive the tulle. His laboratory uniform swayed with the movement, like a white crane shedding its feathers after becoming an alluring demon.\n

 “Thank you.”\n

 At that moment, He Yu suddenly smelt the faint scent of perfume from his cuffs.\n

 Studies say one’s feelings for another relied heavily on their scent.\n

 Meaning if one happened to emit a body scent you like, it’d be easier for you to experience love at first sight. On the other hand, if that person’s scent makes you feel disgusted or scared, then it’s likely there won’t be any healthy developments in your future relationship.\n

 He Yu didn’t like Xie Qingcheng’s scent.\n

It was ice-cold and stiff, like the countless bitter pills he had to swallow his entire life; like the polyvinyl alcohol wiped on his skin before an injection; like the pervading smell of disinfectant in a cold and lonely white ward. \n

 He almost had an instinctive fear of this smell and frowned subconsciously.\n

 But his shoulders were held by Uncle Housekeeper. The housekeeper smiled and introduced him to the discomforting Doctor-gege. “Doctor Xie, this is our boss’s son.”\n

 Xie Qingcheng’s gaze, which was about to move away, stopped for a moment. His eyes were deep and serene as he stared at He Yu. “…So it’s you.”\n

 The look in his eyes reminded He Yu of a scalpel – it was abnormally sharp. It gave He Yu a strange feeling he’d cut open his heart and examine it under a microscope.  \n

 The young doctor said, “This is our first time meeting. In the future, I might be the one treating your disorder.”\n

He Yu was afraid of doctors. He’d even fight against gentle female doctors, not to mention this kind of ferocious-looking person who exuded such solemn and coldness. The eight-year-old child immediately felt unwell. In order to maintain his grace, He Yu reluctantly smiled before turning around and leaving.\n

 This scene happened to be noticed by his mother on the terrace. After Mrs Lu Zhishu finished dealing with work at night, she called her son into the study. Placed on an emerald flannelette covering the coffee table was a cup of hot cocoa at just the right temperature. She pushed the hot cocoa towards He Yu.\n

 “Have you met Dr Xie?”\n

 “I have.” He Yu had a strict upbringing. Before her, he was very careful with rules and not very intimate. \n

 Lu Zhishu had been very disappointed with this abnormal son. At this time, she’d already given birth to her second child. Although Er-bao wasn’t as smart as the eldest son, at least he was cute, ingratiating, and healthy, so she completely favoured the second son. As for He Yu, she spoke with little patience. “His name is Xie Qingcheng. From now on, he’ll be your personal doctor and will come to our house every week to check up on you. You must cooperate well. If you feel uncomfortable, you can ask him to come over at any time.”\n

 “En.”\n

When Lu Zhishu looked at how composed the eight-year-old before her was, she couldn’t help but feel apprehensive. In order to eliminate this uncomfortable atmosphere, she sighed and teased him a little: “He Yu, Dr Xie has signed his life away to our family. If he can’t cure your illness, he’ll be reduced to our family’s permanent worker – no holiday, no salary, and not even an opportunity to marry a wife. Do you understand what this means?”\n

 “I don’t quite understand.”\n

 “It means if you don’t cooperate and discount the effects of his treatment, you’ll delay his time to regain freedom. If this prevents him from getting a wife in the future, you’ll have to take responsibility and support him for the rest of his life.”\n

 He Yu was too young back then. Although precocious, he was only eight years old, so he was still intimidated. He immediately looked up, “Can I terminate his contract?”\n

 “You can’t.” During her flights, Mrs Lu had become fond of watching tragic romance dramas set in the Republic of China. After another thought, she actually added a more damaging, “Who knows? Maybe he’ll get you to take responsibility by having you become his wife. You’re so good-looking, it might be a good thing to send you off as a child bride.”\n

 At that time, He Yu was completely disinterested in love affairs and never bothered to read about it, so he didn’t know that marriage was only between a man and woman in this nation. Mrs Lu’s words caused his psychological shadow to become darker. After that, there were times when Xue Qingcheng’s figure appeared even in his nightmares: “No, I don’t like you… I don’t want to marry you!”\n

 This nightmare only disappeared half a year later when He Jiwei heard of it. \n

 He Jiwei gave his wife a good tongue-lashing. “What nonsense are you telling our child?”\n

 Then, he scolded He Yu. “You- You actually believed in such words? Where did your usual intelligence go? You are a man – Dr Xie is also a man. How can you marry and become responsible for him? Is your head filled with seawater from the Pacific Ocean?” \n

 He Yu felt extremely gloomy.\n

 For the past six months, anytime he remembered that if he didn’t let Dr Xie cure his mental disorder, he might become the chilly doctor’s child bride, he could only deliberately play the fool before Dr Xie, hoping to leave a bad impression. Then, even if things really did come to that point in the future, this man would definitely not feel any perverted interest in him. \n

 Who would’ve expected that after feigning madness before Xie Qingcheng for half a year, what he got were these words from his father-\n

“Your mother was teasing you.”\n

 If it wasn’t for He Yu’s self-restraint, he might have blurted out a direct ‘fuck!’ Unfortunately, He Yu was too restricted. At eight years of age, let’s not mention saying that kind of dirty word, even the word ‘bastard’ hadn’t yet entered his encyclopedic dictionary.\n

 But in any case, after half a year’s worth of persistent effort and perseveringly losing his face in front of Xie Qingcheng, He Yu had pretty much accomplished a magnificent feat. That was, no matter how hard he tried, for the next six or seven years… \n

 No, perhaps for more than the next six or seven years – even after he left Xie Qingcheng at age fourteen or even today – in Xie Qingcheng’s eyes-\n

He Yu was still just a three-dimensional, capital idiot who could only breathe and gasp. \n

And perhaps at this moment, the bowl of tragic rice in his hands was the most powerful evidence after four years of not meeting. In the eyes of Xie Qingcheng, he was still an exceptionally stupid fool who couldn’t even make a bowl of fried rice.\n

 The boy put down the fried rice and handed the apron to the suit-jacket leather-shoes head of Xie family da-ge. Although he appeared calm and collected, he actually felt a little gloomy: this was a mistake – he shouldn’t have cooked. Wasn’t this just presenting Xie Qingcheng with another episode of his comedy show? \n

Previous || TOC || Next\n

The author has something to say.\n

In the small theatre:\n

He Yu: The author seems to be intellectually disabled.\n

Xie Qingcheng: Why?\n

He Yu: There’s no such thing as a 21 years old doctor. \n

Xie Qingcheng: It’s a part-time job at school.\n

He Yu: What about the medical license?\n

Xie Qingcheng: Private employment.\n

He Yu: Why does it have to be you?\n

Xie Qingcheng: I’m good looking.\n

He Yu: Can you survive by being good-looking?\n

Xie Qingcheng: I have an excellent brain. \n

He Yu: Then why did you have to be 21 years old? That’s too young. I’ll calculate this for you – even if you’re the kind of medical student who graduated with a ‘successive postgraduate and doctoral program’, if you entered university at 18 years old, after eight years of study you’d have to be 26 years old. Add in standardised training, an internship, and rotating departments, I think it’s barely reasonable for you to be 28 years old the first time you came to my home.\n

Xie Qingcheng: Did you not read the text?\n

He Yu: I did. This story is pure fiction. But why can’t it be a little more realistic?\n

Xie Qingcheng: That’s fine. Then, let’s say the first time I came to your house I was 28, you were 8 years old, I treated you for 7 years, we separated for 4 years, so you’re still 19 years old. Have you calculated how old I’ll be?\n

He Yu: 39. That’s not bad – it’s acceptable.\n

Xie Qingcheng: Then the story develops a little more and a random time-skip is used, like ten years. How old will I be then? \n

He Yu: 49… That’s also okay; either way, I don’t like you. I’m a straight man.\n

Xie Qingcheng: Coincidentally, so am I. @jinjiangliterarycity, release a danmei column for closeted middle-aged and elderly people. He Yu wants to write one. \n

He Yu: I said I’m not gay. Gayness is ridiculous and disgusting. I’m straight, as straight as steel.\n

Xie Qingcheng: @jinjiangliterarycity, release a danmei column for straight middle-aged and elderly males.\n

He Yu: … \n

Xie Xue: Everyone, please ignore the pair of stupid closeted people upstairs… Ah! Da-ge, I wasn’t talking about you! Uh… Anyways, I wish everyone a happy (4) Qixi Festival!!!\n

<hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-black-background-color has-black-color is-style-wide">\nﾍ(•◡•)ﾉ Please note that this is a translation that stemmed from interest and is a hobby. There are other ones out there made by more experienced translators so if you find mistakes do let us know. UPDATE: Chapter edited!\n

Find the translator: Mushi @mushixx_ and the editor: Argenti @ziliujinvitae\n

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