Chapter 9

Bold: The characters are speaking in English.

“Petch, do you mind giving me Mr. Sasha's number again? I want to treat him to a meal thanks for last time.”

I tried to contain my smile of satisfaction as I figured out how to escape from that golden retriever’s trap. My face probably looked like a pervert as Isakov began to shifting his body away, afraid to catch my (mental) disease.

“Why didn’t you just ask for his number on that day?” I was feeling a bit playful.

“Petch, are you also protective of guy’s phone numbers now? You’re getting out of hand, hand it over.”

I laughed secretly. “It’s better than you P’Pun, you haven’t even been single for two whole days but come asking for a man’s number.”

“Hua, this puppy.” P’Pun said with disdain. “I’m simply treating him to dinner as thanks, that’s all.”

I grinned a small grin. P’Pun really was magical, appearing at just the right moment to free little ol’ Petch from the jaws of a wolf disguised as a golden retriever like Sasha. “I was kidding~ Anyways, enjoy your dinner P’Pun.”

“Whatever, talk to you later.”

“Be careful of your surroundings and stay alert P’Pun.”

“You remember those words instead Petch, if they reverse on you I will laugh till my teeth crack.”

Hahaha… in your dreams.

“Good luck with your mafia husband Petch.”

Huaaaa!!!

…toot toot toot toot toot…

P’Pun dropped a bomb and escaped by hanging up the call. That said, why does the phone’s hanging up noise sound weird? Toot toot toot… I must be going crazy.

(TN: The noise sounds like the word ‘Gay’ in Thai. The phone is calling Petch gay lol)

Isakov narrowed his eyes at me and shook his head with exasperation. I snapped at him. “What does that face mean. Mr. Isakov.” Toot toot toot, hmm how curious…

Isakov shrugged and handed me his phone. “Mr. Alexander is on the phone.”

I was startled, feeling like a wife who had just stashed her secret lover in the closet and was running out to greet her husband at the door. But… hmph.. now I’m angry, why do I have to be this guy’s wife!

“h.e.l.lo, Petch speaking.”

“Mm… the manager of the condo called me for the door repair costs.” Oh yeah, I completely forgot about this. “I already told my secretary to transfer the money, tell your friend to pay me back too, the daily interest rate is 25 percent.”

“What kind of crazy interest is 25 percent? This is breaking the law.”

“The law does not cover money borrowed outside the system.” Although he was severely annoying me, his voice suggested that he was in a fairly good mood. “Meet me at the airport tonight.”

I jutted my bottom lip, “Too bad, I already have plans tonight.”

Alexey coughed. “With who?”

“The caring man from room 1206.”

His voice deepened, tone turning frigid immediately. “I warned you Petch.”

Stop acting like you actually care! I wanted to (at least once) get back at him. “Thanks for your concern… but I need to get my pa.s.sport which now has an Uzbekistan visa on it… when the day comes when you issue me a visa, we’ll talk…” And then I hung up the call, making such an absentminded face that Isakov had to repeat my name several times before I turned to bear my fangs at him. “What now?”

“You’re very brave.”

“Thanks for the compliment.” I stretched a grin.

“Have you written your final will yet?”

Uu, it looks like I’ve just caused more trouble for myself…

…

The meeting which took three hours and seventeen minutes finished with a long scrolling work schedule expected to last me until the next half-year. I refused anyone who invited me out for drinks with the excuse that I was on an alcohol ban due to Buddhist Lent, causing my co-workers in the editorial department to willingly surrender. But this did not mean that it wasn’t tempting. ‘Free food’ and ‘drinks on my tab’, please don’t say these words near me, hearing it makes me drool. But there was a muscular gunman waiting to ambush me by the car along with a hostage, my precious little Canon which I brought with me today. This was an issue which made me incapable of going anywhere or doing anything without constantly being worried for my child’s safety. I looked at my wrist.w.a.tch and trembled with fear, afraid that the giant Isakov might be using his gun to caress my camera back and forth. Who knows what my camera might be going through, will it get so frightened that its memory chip goes haywire?

The phone rang. I picked up to the cheery voice of a golden retriever.

“Mr. Petch, dinner with you is very costly…but it was worth the price, I ate till my stomach was round and full.”

“Ha?” Was P’Pun robbed?

“I’ll leave you to ask the details from Mr. Pun, I’m just calling to thank you for your generosity… that’s all.” Sasha laughed ‘hu hu’ in his throat before hanging up the call. I stood confused for five seconds before quickly dialing P’Pun’s number with desperation. I called relentlessly for nearly ten times before he picked up.

“What’s up Petch?”

“P’Pun!!! Huu, G.o.d bless me, are the thirty-two parts of your body accounted for? You didn’t get ummm… eaten by Mr. Sasha right? Don’t lose your backdoor to him or else I’m going to get really angry.”

P’Pun cracked up laughing. “What? Are you protective of me?”

“I’m protective and concerned. You can’t P’Pun, don’t become Sasha’s wife, you’re my senior!”

P’Pun laughed untrollably. “You have a ridiculous imagination. If Mr. Sasha does do something to me though, you can bet that I’ll be seeking you out for the cost of the damages.

Hua… how come? P’Pun already hung up, turning off his phone no less. Don’t do this… you’re making me even more worried senior!

…

In the end… although P’Pun was sent as a sacrificial replacement to dinner with Sasha, it didn’t make me feel any bit at ease. Instead, I felt deeply worried. Was that guy going to do something to P’Pun? Was he going to be a gentlemanly golden retriever and devote himself to his one true love of either Pedigree (me) or Alpo (P’Pun)? Or was he a greedy mutt, the packaging may read ‘cat food’ but it is technically still edible.

(TN: Pedigree and Alpo: Popular dog food brands)

“Are you thinking of the caring man from room 1206?”

I flinch. This cold frigid voice belongs to none other than…

“How did you get here?”

Alexey was sitting in the backseat of a smoky-colored Mercedes van. The interior of the car was refurbished to accommodate five large plushy seats only, they were made out of real leather and still had a brand new smell to them. The man sat cross-legged and lit his cigarette. One of the bodyguards rolled down the windows slightly, releasing grey smoke which wafted away into the outside air.

“Get in.”

I made a wry face, thinking to walk away but Isakov grabbed my shirt collar from behind and threw me into the car, almost falling on Alexey’s awaiting lap. I raise my face, meeting a stunning pair of grey eyes beneath an array of lightly colored eyelashes before moving away. We were way to close! Speaking honestly, I really hated his face, I swear.

“I thought you had business to attend to and didn’t know the return date.”

“Mm, it’s true I didn’t know.”

“Then why did you hurry back?”

“Someone on the phone had a feisty mouth, so I had to come back and fix his behavior.”

Although his words weren’t very stern, those pair of eyes stared at me with intensity, as if inspecting. I shifted more, body sidling against the left door.

“Are you looking for a problem? Don’t come closer or I’ll bite you for real.”

To compare the image, I was no different than a tiny smooshy-faced pug threatening to bite an alpha wolf and his two menacing rottweiler underlings. I really didn’t like people forcing me into doing things.

“I already have plans, I’m not going back with you.”

Alexey glared lividly. “How about I send you off?”

“Our sweet romantic dinner doesn’t need a c.o.c.kblocker.” Saying this gave me gooseb.u.mps. It oddly sounded like an x rated movie with sadism involved.

The wolf in front of me heard this and bared its fangs, ready to maul me immediately. Fortunately the sound of a phone rang out, I hurriedly pushed him away and picked up the call, spluttering to answer. Who was the person calling me? When I see their face I promise to prostrate myself as thanks for saving my life. “h.e.l.lo, yes? This is Petch.”

“…”

“h.e.l.lo, h.e.l.lo? Can you hear me?” Eh? Why is there still a ringing sound? Is something wrong with my phone? I slowly lowered the device and blushed red with embarra.s.sment because the sound of the phone actually rang from Alexey’s hand. Meeting his eyes, I wanted to shove my head into the trunk of the car, how mortifying. “Hua… it was your phone? Ha ha….”

The hottie watches me from corner of his eyes with disdain before picking up the phone.

“Allo… da… da… Phachara… da… pa.s.sport… mm… harasho.” It was a call that lasted only forty-two seconds. The grey eyes glanced back to look at me and narrowed. “The doc.u.ments are ready, where’s your pa.s.sport?”

The doc.u.ments are ready? I didn’t hear wrong did I? “What did you say?”

“Pa.s.sport.”

“It’s at the Uzbekistan emba.s.sy…” I planned to only say this much but when I met the hottie’s sharp gaze I confessed feebly. “It’s with Mr. Sasha.”

The pair of grey eyes glinted, lips twitching upwards as if he just became the victor. “Since you’re off to go meet him for an ‘oh so romantic’ dinner… and you don’t want an obstruction…”

I gulped, how was he going to attack me now?

“Then too bad, I won’t allow you to go… you’re staying here with me.”

“Woi, you’re really becoming a tyrant, this is a democratic country, not a communist one like your’s.”

“Try going if you dare.”

The car doors slammed shut and Isakov closed the curtains which separated the driver seat from the pa.s.senger seats which were arranged facing each other, followed by a gla.s.s divider. The door locked with a ‘grik’. My heart was beating loud.

“Hua, you! You can’t do this.”

The man removed his suit jacket, laying it across a seat. He pulled his necktie down and unfastened the top-most b.u.t.ton of his dress shirt. “And why can’t I? I’m merely protecting your rights and the rights of many others.”

“What idiotic right?”

“Surely you do not wish to end up the secret lover of a man who already has a family, am I correct hmm? Or do you not care?” The tone which the other man spoke in did not conceal his anger.

Hearing this, I almost fell out of my chair. “Hua.”

Alexey waits for me to speak. I could only whine cluelessly. “I thought that he… ummm…. liked men.”

“So you used your trait as a ‘man’ to negotiate for a visa?”

I hiccupped, look at your words! Getting screwed for free by a man once is enough. I didn’t even get a visa in return and now you act like you care!

“That’s not the case at all.” I argued.

“I hope so.”

“So how is this matter related to you?”

“To say that I’m related, I am. But to say that I’m not related, that’s also true.” It was a roundabout answer that was meant to stir up anger. “But as it’s related to you… I am by extension definitely involved.”

“From those words, does that mean that you’re protective of me or something? How frivolous.” I retorted, moving to the door of the van and shouting aloud, “Mr. Isakov stop the car, I’m getting off this instant.”

Immediately, the van braked forcefully, along with a ‘grik’ of the automatic locks as it released. I slung my camera bag and bared my fangs at the hottie instead of a farewell.

Alexey merely raised his eyebrows, pretending to act surprised. The more I looked the irritated I became. But suddenly, he gathered my waist, restraining my body as he imprisoned me in a strong embrace. Warm hot lips brushed over my ear, followed by the low ba.s.s of his voice which was only as loud as a whisper.

“Where are you going…”

Uuu, it tickles~ Don’t you dare sidetrack my determination. “I’m going to see Sasha.”

“Do you plan to get out on the highway?”

I flinched, quickly leaning over to peer through the curtains, my shiny forehead hitting the window with a loud ‘pok’. The ‘grik’ sound of the automatic locks sounded again. I grinded my teeth. “I’m leaving!”

“You’ll end up as a highway ghost, calm down.”

A long screech was heard from outside. I rubbed my forehead gently to soothe the pain. This was a rare moment in which I ended up agreeing with the hottie. Right in that moment, my gaze coincidentally met the pair of stunning grey eyes, discovering an endearing smile which flashed inside (but it was probably my imagination).

“So, are you really going to exit the car?”

I jutted my lip, quickly climbing back inside to the seat furthest away, hugged my camera bag and reclined the seat back fully till I was lying down. “You’re a tryrant! Wake me up when we arrive, I’m going to sleep.”

“Are you not going to call and cancel your dinner with the hottie from room 1206?”

I used my hands to cover my two ears, refusing to listen or reply.

“That’s good then.” The voice softened, sounding as if relieved. I glanced at him with the corner of my eyes. Alexey was still staring, so I hurriedly turned my face away.

Hui…

Glancing at him again I was startled to find the tall large figure of the hottie looming over me. I bounced right up, hugging my camera bag tight as if it could protect me from the dangers of male-male intercourse.

“Why are you coming closer, go away, shoo shoo!”

“If I felt protective of you, what would you do?”

My camera bag fell out of my hands and I almost screamed when the hottie carelessly threw it to a nearby seat. Then, Alexey the Tyrant showed off his full-blown dictatorship skills by attacking me with a kiss that I was not prepared for. His lips were gentle and soft, but extremely warm like always. The breath which was tinged with a smell of cigarettes that I disliked instead seduced and tricked me into being led along, absorbed in the moment…

…

…

Do not misunderstand, this quietness wasn’t because I was losing myself. I simply wasn’t in any position to fight back. The scene looked as if a little monkey was being pinned by a wolf, ready to tear its flesh into pieces. I could only use my hand to push against the thick shoulder which was firm with muscles so that it couldn’t lean over conveniently.

Uu~ Let me goooo. You hottie, getting h.o.r.n.y without a care for TPO (Time, Place, Occasion). Doing ‘this’ and ‘that’ on the car, to add there were two spectators (?) sitting upright in the front of the car. What if your two gunmen get too caught up with watching the (live) film and accidentally drive the car off the highway? Our corpses won’t be pretty.

The hottie seemed to pick up the waves of hatred that I was sending his way, releasing my lips. The grey eyes glinting playfulness stared as if to swallow me whole. Using the back of a hand to wipe at his mouth, he then tugged the corners of his mouth into a smile that suggested he had an inviting thought.

“You!!! Have you gone crazy?”

The hottie tossed his necktie in some other direction before baring his fangs in a smile that said he was the victor. “I told you before didn’t I? Even though I throw you around and leave you be, you’re not allowed to go see someone else… especially when you’re willing to give up your body in exchange… I’ll give you a lesson.”

My stupid mouth got me into trouble again!

“I was joking!!!” I spluttered, trying to explain myself while sending him a pair of sparkly pleading eyes; in case it could attract a sympathy vote from the judges.  “I… do… don’t… have plans to meet him, uuu. Get your chin away from me, it tickles! I don’t have plans with anybody alright!?”

Alexey flinched, agreeing to withdraw from my face in what seemed like only three centimeters. “You’re a big fat liar! So what is the truth then?”

I lifted up three fingers like a boyscout. “I swear on it! I really don’t have any plans. I was intending to secretly boil a cup of instant noodles and eat it on my lonesome without sharing anyone.” What have I said aloud? How embarra.s.sing.

The hottie’s expression changed… hua… or is it… is it…

I survived…

(I didn’t survive…)

The eyes in front me seemed to suggest that the hottie had forgotten about devouring me…

What a relief!

The hottie tried to contain his smile, I could see the twinkling in his pair of eyes and it made me want to smile along. But I restrained, keeping up the serious att.i.tude so that he wouldn’t accuse me of lying.

“It’s true. I was about to go and buy some eggs, vegetables, pork, mushrooms and etcetera, if only you didn’t s.n.a.t.c.h me away first.”

Alexey finally burst out in laughter, willing to let me free. But…

“Then let’s go back to the condo together, I’ll make you something to eat.”

“I can cook for myself.”

The hottie stared at me and shook his head again. “Do you think I flew back from Singapore to Thailand on the same day in order to eat your instant noodle diarrhea?”

“Instant noodle what?” I asked, that definitely wasn’t a good English word.

“Forget it.” The hottie bit at the base of my neck before gathering me up onto his lap with ease. “A liar like you needs to be taught some lessons too!”

Huuuuuuuuuu…

P.s. I wonder how P’Pun is doing…

P.p.s. When I was young, my Pa’ taught me that… if you make your others suffer, that suffering will fall back on you… looks like it’s true.

P.p.p.s. Adding the above two together, does this mean that P’Pun’s ‘backdoor’ was shot down already?!

…

While a certain Phachara was preoccupied with worry about the divine retribution which speedily rushed back at him like it was strapped to a rocket… his prediction was seemingly coming true… one of them atleast; though it was not entirely accurate.

‘Piidddddddddddddddd’

The tiny heart belonging to Punnaphob was giddy… but it was not due to being shot in the ‘backdoor’ by another man…

(TN: Punnaphob – Pun’s real name. Thai’s rarely address people by their real name, instead opting for a nickname instead. This is because real names are typically long or complicated to p.r.o.nounce. You could know someone for ten years and not even know their real name, that’s how unused it is. Although real names are not as long as they used to be in ancient times, it’s become a cultural norm to use a nickname.)

The blow of a whistle signalled the end of injury time which lasted an excruciating six minutes, keeping audiences on the edge of their seats. All eleven men in their blue club attire decorated with the brand of their sponsor AIG showed crestfallen faces on the rectangular forty-inch screen. Meanwhile, the chanting of song belonging to a.r.s.enal, the home team echoed loudly through the speakers.

Pun pulled out his handkerchief, using it to wipe at the sweat that broke along his hairline. Blinking rapidly at the score 2 – 1, a.r.s.enal had beaten Manchester United, swiftly obtaining another three points.

Although the loss was by a single point… their chance of winning this season’s Premier League was already minimal, it was hopeless. Who would have thought that Ryan Giggs, Gary Neville and uncle Ferguson could do him in like this… Thinking about it, Pun whined resentfully inside. When he see’s Petch tomorrow, that puppy is going to ridicule him about Manchester United losing three games in a row, unable to compare to Liverpool who were in top form these days.

Other than that troublesome puppy there was Sasha, sat beaming a smile while drinking his bourbon. Pun observed the playful glinting eyes of the foreigner in front him and frowned. “Don’t tell me that you also cheer for a.r.s.enal.”

His new drinking buddy smiled annoyingly. “I admire them, worship them even.”

Pun felt angry all of sudden. Truthfully, he wasn’t a person who acted without rhyme or reason, but he really hated to lose.

Sasha laughed ‘hu hu’, emptying the gla.s.s of bourbon into his mouth. “You’re stressing yourself out Mr. Pun, allow me to comfort you with another drink.”

These direct words reminded him that he was acting like a little kid. When he looked over, his new friend lifted up a bottle of alcohol, swirling it around as if to tempt him along with a wide smile. Pun couldn’t help but laugh at this gesture. “Thank you, but I have to drive back home tonight.”

“Taxi’s exist to be used.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, but I’d rather not be sobering up at the police station Sasha. You can continue drinking.” Just coaxing wasn’t enough, Pun stole the bottle of alcohol and poured another gla.s.s for Sasha. “As for me, I can’t drink anymore, I’m too discouraged now after being cheated by Man U.”

“Let me tell you something,” The sound of the music in the bar becoming louder. The tall large figure leaned in to whisper something next to his ear. It was so close that Pun picked up the smell of alcohol mixed with cigarettes, as well as the smell of perfume which wafted from the other man.

“What did you say? Can you speak louder?”

The blue eyes stared at him and smiled thinly. “Did you know that I’m friends with Alex… well, I mean Alex Ferguson.”

“You’re joking!” Pun shouted, followed by a loud laughter. “Then please tell him to quit managing the team, just go raise his grandchildren instead.”

The person in front of him lifted the gla.s.s to swirl, the ice inside sparkling like the lights of the bar. Sasha smiled mischeviously. “I’ll definitely pa.s.s it on, but Ferguson already told me that if Mr. Pun agrees to drink another gla.s.s with me, Man U will be guaranteed to win the Premier League, the UEFA League and FA Cup too.”

Pun smiled wide, the dimples on his cheeks working harder than normal because the smile now seemed to be a permanent thing on his face. “Then… cheers!”

The bartender glanced and smiled at Pun. “How about another one? This gla.s.s is on the house.”

“Bring it.” Sasha replied in his stead.

…

This was one of the few rare moments that I felt good being with this hottie despite being opressed under his control: Professor Alexey intent on teaching me a lesson.

But who would have guessed… sorry but G.o.d sides with the student today!

“Hey Alexey, when will we get to the condo? I’m hungry.” I asked, face grinning.

Alexey casted his eyes on me with arrogance, mouth still speaking into the phone. I swayed my head back and forth, beaming a huge smile…

The hottie narrowed his eyes, inside probably cursing my good fortune because while I was almost devoured, the phone suddenly rang out. The hottie flinched, furrowed his brows while looking at the screen and pressed to pick up the call like it couldn’t be helped. The person on the other end of the call shouted noisily in Russian, the hottie’s frown worsened and he spewed a string of Russian back. Unknown as to what they were talking about, it looked more like they were arguing. So I subtly b.u.t.toned up my shirt completely and climbed over to the innermost seat, putting on an indifferent expression.

The hottie flipped his phone closed with a ‘pak’, looking at me ferociously. “Making that face again, are you having fun?”

I gulped. Another three or four intersections and we would have reached the condo, why did you have to hurry and hang up the call?

“Are you going to come over here, or do I have to go deal with you back there?”

Deal with me back there… hearing this gave me gooseb.u.mps…

And in that very second… it looks like my previous promise of one hundred boiled eggs was starting to come true. Angels noticed the misfortune that befell on the ‘oh so kind and virtuous’ Phachara who also offered to bestow an extra three packets of instant noodles. Out of nowhere an officer riding a white motorcycle upfront waved to stop the car. The officer wore a tight-fitting policeman’s uniform, waving his arms that were chubby like pool table legs he blew his whistle ‘priid priid’ and walked with his chest stuck out to the car. But when he saw the person through the driver seat window he gulped. Isakov adjusted his sungla.s.ses (this is nine in the evening, why are you still wearing those? I really don’t understand you).

The officer took several deep breaths with apprehension. I’m correct… this guy is scared of foreigners!

“You… go down now. Show your– driving license too.”

Isakov removed his dark gla.s.ses, green pupils side-eyeing the man. The scar on his face made the officer’s heart tremble weakly from the mafia-like aura which emitted brightly. The unsettled officer beckoned a hand to his friends but not single person was willing to come closer. I could hear his voice as he cursed his friends rapidly in their native dialect.

…hey where’d ya done gone? I can’t yap no foreigner language. f.u.c.k yer head and yer ‘cops already got enough money to make a living’…

(TN: Northern Thai Dialect or known as Isan.)

“You stay here.” Alexey’s face was grumpy, annoyed of getting interrupted for the second time. My heart was drumming inside my chest. The hottie told me to stay still, but I really needed to find a way out of this situation quick.

“Dri… driving license. What is your name?”

“Меня эовут Исаков. Как вас эовут?”

Met with one mouthful of the foreign language, the officer was shocked, expression so broken that I felt sorry for him. But when I turned to look at the hottie, I spotted a mischevious delight in his eyes despite the stony face that showed no emotion. Isakov’s partner b.u.t.ted in with a forceful voice and said following.

“…Что случилось? Я говорю по-русски. Вы говорите по русски?”

Don’t ask me to translate, my English isn’t even pa.s.sable…

The officer looked even more restless, as if he was being threatened by the mafia. “Hey, hey, the fella that’s standing o’er there, come ‘ere. Doesn’t matter if ya can yap it or not, just come ta me, ya can help act out my words. This f.u.c.king guava drove past the red light like a colorblind person, we’re gonna get lots tonight, ya understand?”

(TN: 1. Typical case of the traffic police ‘extorting’ money from drivers as explained in chapter seven; 2. Normally, ‘guava’ sounds exactly like the word ‘foreigner’ in Thai, but these guys are speaking with a Northern dialect, the words are completely different so guava straight up just means guava.)

Guava… I abruptly started laughing and hurried to contain my reaction. Turning to look at the hottie, a sound effect echoed through my mind… ‘Guava’… I wanted to laugh till my teeth cracked. I don’t know whether to hate or love this officer. But my my, making a fuss in order to collect money, be it for Red Bull or school fees, does this officer’s kid study at an international school or something? I really don’t understand. Instead of trying to act modest and well-behaved in front of a foreigner, this guy was determined to extort money out of them… luckily these foreigners could not understand the Northern dialect.

I lowered the window which separated the driver from the pa.s.senger seats, stuck my head out and tore an impressive smile. “Mister, is there anything I can help you with?”

“Ah, a Thai person.”

Although no one loved me, at least this officer saw me as a G.o.d descending down to save him. I hurriedly opened the door of the van fast, Alexey unable to grab me in time. Circling around the car I tried to curry favor with the man. “Did my driver do something wrong mister?”

The two gunmen narrowed their eyes at me… sending a shudder down my spine.

The officer wiped his sweat with relief. “Uh, there’s no problem, it’s just driving past the red light. All I need is the driver’s license serial number in order to write-up a slip.”

“Ohhhhhh…” I dragged my voice. “Sorry about this, my driver moved from Russia recently, he still can’t speak Thai or English very well. Isakov, get in de car now~” When he made no intention to move I glared at him; my acting deserves a Golden Globe Award. “I said now!”

“Hm? Then how can he drive?”

“Oh, he’s familar with the route mister. The guy’s obedient, driving the same route a couple of times was enough to memorise it. He’s easy to raise, surviving on large breed Pedigree dog food.” I smiled while handing my own driver’s license over, two red bills tucked underneath as if accustomed to this process. “Sorry for wasting your time mister.” That said, I turned to scold the other gunman. “You too! Get it de car!”

“You’re pretty interesting sonny. Now then, next time tell your driver to be more careful alright? Getting into trouble with the Thai police is no good.” The officer laughed brightly, but when he glanced down his face turned into a frown. “What? Only two-hundred baht? Boy, to drive such an expensive car it has to be the purple kind you know?”

(TN: A purple bill is five-hundred baht)

If I knew this earlier, I would have let Isakov share his bullets with the officer.

I pretended to not hear his words, hastily raising my hands to gesture a farewell. But then I couldn’t resist gulping loudly, my heart raced. The incident with the officer was instantly thrown out the window as I thought of a plan to escape from ‘Professor Alexey’ who was ready to maul me over.

When bodyguard number two stared at me with a ‘dot dot’ expression, opening the car door as if about to get in, I seized that second to yank the door close and hit the gas pedal.

Suddenly, he and Isakov disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Wahahaha, my one hundred eggs promise plus the almsgiving was really producing results! Oh my G.o.d!!!

…

“What are you doing, hmm?” The hottie whispered by my ear. I thought I was hearing things but looking in the rear view mirror I started when I saw a gun barrel pointed at the back of my left ear. I peered with the corner of my eyes to the left of the driver’s seat.

Aiya, since when did this hottie move to sit here!?!

I blinked rapidly and Alexey made a wide smile. Seeing the vein on his forehead twitch, this gave me a bad premonition.

“Do you think you’re James Bond?”

If I say yes, will this guy break my jaw…?

“Your face says YES.”

He’s even more accurate than a prophet! And look at that question, how creative. If it was actally true, the t.i.tle would be, ‘007 Phetchaburi Drift: Escape from Loss of Manhood’.

“You think you’re good enough? Where’s your female love interest?”

Again, what a question. What women with common sense is brave enough to steal from a foreigner(‘s wife like me)…hm?

“James Bond doesn’t drive while looking at the face of the person next to him Petch!  If you’re going to drive then look in front and don’t let go of the wheel!”

I flinch at being scolded loudly. Turning to the front again I saw a granny selling lottery tickets wobbling to cross the road. Alexey took this chance to jerk the driving wheel, narrowly evading her and turned to bare his fangs at me. It was so scary that my head shrunk into my body.

I caused more trouble for myself again. Instead of being taught a lesson twice, I was in for a third lesson. I thought to myself depressingly, this was clearly ‘Friday entering, Sat.u.r.day invading, Sunday betraying, and Monday pouting.’

(TN: ‘Friday entering, Sat.u.r.day invading, Sunday betraying, and Monday pouting’ – An old saying used to describe when a series of bad things happen one after another, as if being cursed by a vengeful ghost.)

“What are daydreaming about hah!” The hottie snapped at me with irritation and sighed, probably counting one to ten in his head. Looks like this wolf is in a bad mood, is he going to bite me? “Stop the car right now.”

“We’re almost there.”

“I don’t want to be a corpse in the middle of this intersection.” That said, his frown deepened. “You’re terrible at driving! Did you ‘buy’ yourself a driving license?”

“How did you know? I paid two-thousand five-hundred baht for it.” I confessed.

The sound of police sirens trailed from behind, there were four to five vehicles. The hottie peered through the rear view mirror and shook his head with exasperation. With the situation turning worse I looked as well, seeing the same officer poke his head out of the driver seat window, shouting noisily while turning on the flashing lights as a signal to stop the car. I slowed down.

The hottie’s phone rang out. The owner of device threw it to me without picking up the call. Seeing the number of the caller, I began to stress out…

The people in the surrounding vehicles all focused their eyes on me. I press to pick up the call.

“h.e.l.lo, Petch speaking.”

“Sonny! Stop the car right now! Kidnapping an emba.s.sy official is a serious offense woi, if you’re in need of money we can discuss it later.”

I flinch. Alexey made an apathetic face. This guy is what you call a hostage? At least try to make a shocked face when your underlings go too far and file a report for kidnapping.

That said, why does the criminal (me) have a gun pointed at their head…?

…

It was already one in the morning when I was released from the police station. The police inspector berated loudly to the point where my ears felt numb for two hours, accusing me of playing recklessly, what would happen if his men got injured? How about the impact it will have on our relationship with the other country? Any agreements made with them would be called off, etcetera, etcetera. As for the hottie, he put on a ‘innocent foreigner’ act, pretending to not understand Thai. Although it was a good thing that he agreed to not press any charges, this garnered the affection of the police instead.

And another thing, this cursed man who claimed to fly straight from Singapore to eat instant noodles with me (Eh? Did he say this? I’m not sure) was already sitting in his luxurious car, leaving me to face the inspector on my own. If you really love me then you be should be keeping me company, tch!

I walked, kicking a piece of gravel hard as if to vent my anger. The troublesome piece of gravel hit a Toyota Camry that was parked on the side of the road, triggering its burglar alarm. I quickly walked away. Why do I have such bad luck today?

My elbow was grabbed from behind and a heavy hand covered my mouth. I struggled violently, my entire body was lifted, carried across the road before being thrown back inside the car and onto the soft leather seat. The car door slammed shut before the locks sounded with a ‘grik’.

Alexey shifted his eyes from the newspaper that was in the middle of being read and removed his gla.s.ses, clipping it on the breast pocket of his shirt.  The orange lights of the van glowed brightly. Only now did I notice the traces of exhaustion underneath these grey pair of eyes.

He handed me a delicious box of pie, placing it down on a seat next to mine and opened his newspaper back up to continue reading without a word.

I looked at the large slice of pie… patting my flat tummy, it rumbled loudly.

“Uh…”

“Take it.”

“And have you eaten yet?” I felt guilty for some odd reason. If I shared half with this hottie would he forgive me? His expression looked tired, as if having just chased and captured a forest monkey. Thinking about it, I began to feel sympathetic.

“No.”

This seems to be my fault.

I moved to sit closer, breaking the still-warm pineapple pie into two pieces and handing the larger piece to the hottie. There was also a small carton of fruit juice which I held up for him. “Have this to eat for now.”

The sharp grey eyes shifted over to look. Despite taking the pie, he kept staring at my face, not interested in the food in his hand. “I’m waiting for something else.”

I blushed…

Alexey waited a few moments and then sighed. “Forget it.”

My cheeks felt numb… slowly edging closer I flattened my ears and hid my tail between my legs like a good puppy.

“If you’re hungry then eat.”

“Ah… mm…” Such vague words. What to do, take the pie back? “If you’re not going to eat then I’ll eat it instead.”

…

…

Huu, so being a smelly headed dog feels like this, this guy won’t even glance at me.

(TN: Smelly headed dog – someone who is hated by everybody, no one is willing to talk to them or be their friend)

…

“Hey Alexey, I’m trying to make peace here, don’t be so stubborn.”

“You’re G.o.d d.a.m.ned noisy, can you be quiet already?”

My face crumpled at being scolded at. The hottie sighed.

“If you’re not going to eat then I’m seriously going to eat it instead alright?”

The grey eyes glinted in the darkness, complete with a playful smile.

The pie in my hand fell with a ‘tup!’.

…

It was almost two in the morning and the two men with ‘copper throats’ were still stationed at their base, refusing to move. The foreign man continuously picked at the snacks. As for the Thai man with a Korean-looking style, Punnaphob refused to let go of his gla.s.s of liquor.

(TN: Copper throats – Having high tolerance for alcohol)

“It’s a shame the Mr. Petch couldn’t make it.”

Pun waved a hand while laughing cheerily, his fair complexion now tinged with pink on his cheeks. The healthy coloring made him look like a presenter for skin care products. “Him not coming is a good thing, if he was here I’d have to accompany him on his Buddhist Lent alcohol ban.”

Seeing the other raise his eyebrows in a question, Pun shook his head dizzyingly, readjusting his gla.s.ses back in place. “I promised him, so I have to do it.”

Hua… then what about the gla.s.s in your hand Mr. Punnaphob?

Looks like the man on the opposite end thought the same thing. Pun quickly downed the rest of the liquor, using the back of a hand to wipe at his mouth and smile mischievously. “I know what you’re thinking.”

The pair of clear blue eyes stared back, the smile was only at the corners of his mouth. “And what do you think I’m thinking about?” He tested Pun, admiring the other man’s fair face and cheek dimples which reflected on his gla.s.s of bourbon that had little remaining inside.

“It’s better if I kept this knowledge to myself…” Pun evaded playfully, feeling slightly light-headed. However, he thought that he could still hold his own…maybe.

The handsome foreigner in front of him shifted closer, large hands rested on Pun’s shoulder and shook gently. “You’re drunk, speaking this nonsense.”

“I’m not drunk, I’m not drunk.”

“Can you drive?”

“Taxi’s exist to be used.” Uwa… he returned those words. “Can you call one for me?”

“I thought you said that you weren’t drunk.”

Sasha observed the Thai man. His eyes were a dark brown, glazed with the intoxicating effects of the alcohol. To compare the picture it was probably similar to a warm steaming waffle, topped with whipcream and strawberry, and covered with caramel sauce.

“I’m not drunk.” The drunk person objected. “The world’s just spinning faster around the sun, that’s all.” When drunk, the spirit of Galileo Galilei housed his body.

“I’ll catch a taxi for you, wait here.” The large figure offered, pulled money out of his wallet and placed it on the table, hoping it would suffice for the cost of the drinks which they feasted on over the course of many hours. Not long after, he returned. “Mr. Pun, the taxi has arrived.”

The male reporter with a copper throat walked while stumbling, worrying the large Uzbek man to the point where he had to close in and support the other. “Where do you live? I’ll give the taxi driver the location.”

Pun shook his head forcefully and squeezed his pitch-black hair. “Ummmm…” The taxi door was open and waiting. Pun hurriedly ducked inside and lay contorted like a shrimp, head heavy as if weighed down by rocks.

The picture in front of him was blurry and dim. He twisted to look left and right like a broken television set. “It’s…”

Pun heard the sound of the driver-side door open and then close. “Where should I drop you off?”

“Umm… the street…” Where did he live? “The street… wha… what university was it again?”

“Ram’ Uni?”

“No.”

“Bangkok Uni?”

“No, no no. Uhh, the university…”

“Thammasat?”

“That’s too farrr.”

In truth it was just on the same street as SWU’s Prasarnmit campus but no matter how much Pun wrung his head he couldn’t recall this information, handing his phone confusingly to the driver. “Ask…Ask Petch instead.”

The ‘taxi driver’ took the phone with equal confusion before smiling playfully at the corners of his mouth…

As for Pun, he had no clue that the taxi he was sitting on had an emba.s.sy sticker on it, not to mention the vehicle was also a newly released BMW Series 5 too.

Importantly… the starting fair for this ‘taxi’ was for sure, more than thirty-five baht.

…

I’m about to melt…

Somebody help me… I’m in a difficult position.

It’s serious trouble… believe me…

I was being terrorized by another man through the taste of his kiss which was searing hot like fire…

This wasn’t all… he restricted my ability to resist with an embrace that was as strong as an iron cage.

As for the final reason… my body was pulled onto his lap, unable to move in the slightest… or if I did move, it was according to the directions that the person in front of me manipulated my body in… my exposed legs rubbed against the fine material of Alexey’s pants, making my skin sore like it was burning… my hips… connected with his body… both hot and tight… both uncomfortable and sensitive…

This body didn’t feel like my own anymore. Although my brain objected… frantically yelling inside, reality looked to be the opposite.

The sensation of a couple of days ago still lingered in my memory. What was incredibly hot and pa.s.sionate back then, had seemingly doubled today. The outside road lights shone in from time to time, like the gaze of a hundred pairs of eyes peering inside, simultaneously mocking me for inevitably falling into the hands of this playful scheming wolf. Hot breaths caressed each of our bodies. The intensity alternated between rough and gentle according to the rhythm set by Alexey who coaxed my body along with ease.

The sound of a police siren could be heard in the distance. My heart drummed more rapidly, scared that someone was coming to stop the car; being greeted with this scene would be unsightly to say the least. However, for the wretched man that was claiming my body, Alexey urged beside my ear with a voice whose tone suggested that he held the upper hand…

“Are you scared someone’s going to see? …Shall we stop?”

Yet the hand which seized my hip… refused to stop… I could only grit my teeth, holding my voice back so that it couldn’t escape from my throat. Though the sound of the siren drifted farther away, it was still reverberating inside my ears.

Alexey bit lightly at my earlobe, calling out an odd sensation which burst forth, my entire body trembled and shook…

The dim confined s.p.a.ce… curtains which fluttered and swayed as if trying to tempt a peek from outside… two other people who kept an eye on every action from the rear view mirror… how fearless…

Yet at the same time, I could not deny that it made me even more excited, by who knows how much…

“You just do whatever your heart desires”

The husky voice was strung with pleasure…

Clear grey eyes beneath a flutter of coffee-coloured eyelashes shined beautiful and profound… Alexey held my chin, turning me to face him directly… just let me die… if these eyes were a sword… I probably would have died from the first time they landed on me with such sharpness.

“Look at me baby… what’s so interesting out there?”

His tone was low and gentle… contrary to the a.s.sault below… my consciousness flickered every time he moved…. or every time that he urged me to move.

RRR…RRR

The sound of a phone rang out, I flinched hard. A bright light flashed inside the removed pair of pants that lay on the floor of the car.

Alexey stilled. He leaned down to hook the edge of the fabric up. The device appeared tiny in his large hands.

The man dangled the phone in front of my face, encouraging me to grab it. But instead I lost my balance, falling to nestle on his broad chest as if he had planned this all along, lips sneering before biting softly at the tip of my chin.

RRR…RRR

“Are you going to stop here Petch?”

…

“Come now, my stomach isn’t even half-full yet.”

…

…

RRR…RRR…RRR

“But P’Pun is calling me… the matter is probably important if it’s this late.”

“Should I pick it up for you? …So he can know that it’s late… you have something better to do…”

RRR…RRR…RRR…RRR…

And finally I hesitated… to melt wholeheartedly with the feel and taste of this sensation… or escape by picking up the phone like all the previous times.

But finally the husky voice whispered next to my ear, closing off all escape routes…

“Forget everything dear.”

“Keep moving baby… just keep moving…”

To say something this s.e.xy… this sweet…

You might as well kill me now.

Holys.h.i.t was this chapter long. Hopefully you found the end rewarding.