Chapter 32

Bold: The characters are speaking in English.

Kazakhstan.

Photography in the middle of the desert turned out to be a way more laborious ordeal than I expected. This ranged from waking up at half past four to capture the morning sunrise, the model who wasn’t very willing to give his cooperation, and the stylist who was ready to smack the model’s face in with her high heels. To add, the natural conditions were extremely difficult to control, be it the sunlight, wind, shadows, or grains of sand which shifted and transformed over every second.

The desert was stunning and the sky today was clear. I relished in its beauty, but not for long as Ethan’s behaviour irritated my mood. Despite managing to obtain plenty of good photos, most of them weren't photos of Ethan. The face which belonged to this model was gorgeous and flawless, white skin radiant as if emitting light. He knew full well his duties as a model and was proficient at posing, as if it had been programmed into his body previously. But it was far from consistent… one minute Ethan was a professional model, the next, he would turn into a bad-tempered child, self-centered and lacking responsibility. As such, I was forced to suppress my emotions, practically almost counting from one till a hundred in my head.

Ethan’s eyes were beautifully captivating, but it failed to captivate me.

When his eyes averted the camera… they appeared listless, like a person who did not have the will to continue living anymore. In the complete polar opposite however, when his eyes made contact with mine through the camera lens, he resembled a wounded animal, one that was fierce, resentful and hateful, ready to tear me into pieces at any moment. Within the brief instant that we stared fixedly at each other through the camera lens… I had a secret impression that his p.r.i.c.kliness partially resembled Alexey’s (albeit praying now that he wasn’t equally as brutal as the other man).

“Just keep on s.p.a.cing out why not? Are we done with this shot yet?” His voice wafted into my ear and I went back to concentrating again despite my irritation.

“We’re done, but it’s not good enough.”

“Then perhaps you should go back to photography school.”

“Perhaps you should also go back to modelling school as well.” I spat back immediately, never knowing before that arguing with a foreigner would improve my English this fast.

Ethan’s face flushed red, my quip likely pushing his b.u.t.tons. He expected a photographer to kneel and respect the model? As if.

“You will regret daring to speak to me like that.”

“Saying such words… who do you think you are?” I asked dispa.s.sionately, shifting the camera lens around. “Are you the highest-paid model in the world? Lift your face up a bit more… fifteen degrees.”

What I got in return was a cloud of sand being kicked up in my face. I shut my eyes tight, hearing a voice in the distance say. “I’m taking a break, for as long as I please!”

“Go to h.e.l.l and rest in peace!” I shouted after him from behind in spite of my badly irritating eyes. Jessica hurriedly ran up to me with a mirror and until we finally managed to get the last grain of sand out, one of my eyes had already turned red.

“Petch, calm down okay?”

“Yeah, I know.” I wiped my tears gingerly. “My eyes freakin hurt.”

The dot dot guy came over check on me as well, along with eye drops which greatly helped to relieve the irritation. It was strange, despite not uttering a single word, I could sense that Viktar's concern.

“Don’t act hasty alright?”

My condition right now resembled a boxer sporting a black eye with two nannies constantly feeding me food and water on the sidelines. I could only helplessly sit there and grind my teeth in resentment. “Just wait until this a.s.signment is finished you b.a.s.t.a.r.d…”

…

The sunlight was dwindling rapidly, but I still felt that I have not done well enough yet. From my experience as a fashion photographer, I was certain that I was capable of doing much much better than this. But I received no cooperation from Ethan whatsoever. Taking a fifteen minute break before shooting the final set just as the sun was about to sink underneath the horizon, I felt so frantic that I couldn’t sit still.

Eventually, I dialed my phone…

“How’s it going Petch?” The audio on the other end in Thailand was noisy and lively, as if he was among a troop of monkeys. I could hear the sound of children giggling in the background.

Just hearing this caused exhaustion flood my chest, so much so that I couldn’t bring myself to speak.

“Are you alright dear?”

Dear? How glad I was to hear this word. “I don’t know what do to… the sunlight is dwindling and I need a better photo than this.”

“And… the problem is?”

“That model of yours… he’s the biggest troll in the entire three worlds, and heavily addicted to cocaine too, what kind of person did you send to me?”

(TN: Troll – Not the mythical creature but the internet kind of ‘troll’, someone who is deliberately provocative; Three worlds – In buddhist cosmology there are three planes of existence/worlds.)

“Mm, I expected as much. But you've already lasted several hours correct?”

“Yeah, there's fifteen more minutes remaining.”

“Well… you just let him go then.”

“Hah? You must be joking.”

“Petch.” This voice which called my name, hearing it honestly made me want to crawl into his lap and let  him comfort me, I really needed encouragement okay? “Since this a.s.signment belongs to you, then photograph what you want other people to see.”

“Really?”

Easy to say but difficult to do. I disconnected the call and took a deep breath.

Fine! Whatever happens, happens!

…

“Is this the extent of your skills?”

Hearing this criticism felt like being slapped in the face. My heart pulsated forcefully, hands shaking and almost flinging a punch at the pretty lips that half the human population on earth dreamed of kissing. Ethan tossed the stack of photos which we were about to select and submit to the magazine in my face, each photo scattering and drifting down to litter the floor.

I witnessed the image as Ethan used his feet to crush the photos that had fallen onto the floor, my heart speeding up, pulsating rapidly with anger.

“If I lose this magazine a.s.signment… ” The end of his sentence stretching out into a pause. “Then it’s certainly because the photography work is trash.”

Have you not looked at yourself in the mirror at all…? I argued inwardly.

“Actually, it’s not so terrible… to tell you the truth, Alexey has a good eye…”

I really loathe this way of speaking. If you have something to say then say it already, don’t just stop in the middle of your sentence just to could keep me antic.i.p.ating.

"Out with it already, quit being dramatic.”

“Hotheaded are you? What did you think I was going to say?” These ocean blue eyes were beautiful, but it was a beautifulness that was disgusting for it reflected a filthy heart. “I just wanted to tell you in case it might make you feel proud, that Alexey has a very good eye, choosing ‘The best among the worst’ as the photographer for this a.s.signment.”

“That’s true, I also have to praise him as well.” I drawled. Jessica turned to face me warily, muttering under her breath: Petch, what are you planning on saying? “Alexey has given me a fantastic opportunity to photograph ‘the suckiest among the suckiest’… I’m really grateful to be given this a.s.signment. When I return to Thailand, I’ll boast to everyone that I got to meet the very person holding the t.i.tle of 'The Industry's s.h.i.ttiest Model', my co-workers will be so jealous.”

All of a sudden, my MacBook flew off the table, falling imminently towards the floor. Luckily Viktar managed to catch it just in time before it smashed into pieces. Seizing this chance, I climbed up onto the table, yanking that soft downy brown hair before slamming his forehand down onto the table with no intention of holding back my strength. Ethan cried, groaning in pain. I pressed his head down to prevent him from moving and whispered beside his ear.

“Hey… Ethan… has your brain atrophied from all that cocaine? Do you not see the reality of the situation? This magazine… has never wanted you, rather, its your partner Eisbär that they want, do you still recall this name…? Even if Eisbär goes to photograph some slum kid instead of you, the magazine would still gladly use his work on its front cover… do you understand your current status yet? Don’t be r.e.t.a.r.ded and start making use of the remaining brain cells that you have left–also, quit trying to p.i.s.s people off!”

“You’re the one p.i.s.sing people off.” Ethan growled back.

And thus, the situation fell into chaos. I underestimated Ethan’s strength as he grabbed my arm, yanking me down from the table before gracing me relentlessly with his fists. I tasted the salty blood which seeped into my mouth. After trying to block the a.s.sault for a while, I decided to retaliate as well by gracing his defined nose with my fist, blood spurting out of both nostrils. All in all, this round was over without us having to rely on the referee to the side.

According to regular boxing rules, breaks in-between rounds prohibited fighting. However, it's not like this was something Ethan–whose face was smeared with blood–cared about, attacking me while I was distracted. I pitched backwards, tumbling and making impact with the back wall. But before I could even get up to reciprocate, I heard the heavy sound of a steel object hitting flesh. From the corner of my vision, I saw Viktar bash the pistol grip of his gun against Ethan’s nape, the latter slumping down onto the ground, motionless.

“Petch, escort Jessica outside first.”

Except, it turned out to be Jessica who quickly dragged me out of the room instead. Her entire body was trembling and her face looked as if about to cry. “Petch, you’re okay right? Did he hurt you?”

“No, no, I’m fine.” In truth, I ached all over but didn’t want her to worry.

The sound of conversation could be heard through the doorway of the room which was still wide open, so I couldn't resist secretly peeping inside.

Ethan was still lying curled like a shrimp on the floor and upon witnessing this scene… the caring dot dot guy in my imagination dissipated in the blink of an eye. I used to think that Viktar was different from Alexey’s other bodyguards because he was gentle, kind, and had a sense of humour.  But now I truly believed… that Alexey’s men all took after their boss’ ruthlessness to a T. Although his expressionless face displayed no emotion like usual, I winced as I saw Viktar tenderly rest his feet down on that pretty face, before crushing one cheek hard… with his leather shoe.

“You guys… play… dirty. Villains… from start to finish.”

“To deal with a dirty person, an equally dirty method has to be used… I thought you already knew this.” Viktar sneered, increasing the strength of his feet till the cheek crumpled hideously.

“Your boss Alexey is vile, that b.a.s.t.a.r.d! He broke our promise!”

He never said he would be your photographer Ethan, you’re gravely misunderstanding something, why would he ever lower himself to be your photographer again… hm…? A meat that’s rotten, as if anyone would want to touch that.”

“Then that c.h.i.n.k must also be rotten as well since you guys sent him here.”

Jessica and I jumped out of our wits upon seeing the dot dot guy’s cla.s.sy shoe stomp down onto Ethan’s ear, fresh blood spilling from it. Its red color contrasting against the fine porcelain skin was a horrifying sight to witness; and I wasn't particularly a fan of horror films too.

“You are still of some use… he has learnt several things from completing this a.s.signment, and you are a bit more of use in sending him further in his career… aren’t you proud Ethan?” Viktar stomped on his face repeatedly. I closed my eyes, unable to continue watching. I have never witnessed anything so painful before in real life.

Ethan lashed out in a language that I couldn’t discern, but certainly, Viktar could, retorting back in the same language. After a moment, they abruptly switched to English.

“Alexey's selfish, I never wanted to come back to this third world country with him. My life… he has no right to dictate it, he has no right to force me to come back and wallow around with him in this s.h.i.t country.”

“This s.h.i.t country that you’re referring to is the birthplace of your father, mother, grandfather and grandmother, furthermore it’s a completely separate matter to your betrayal of His Excellency by going to that peasant sc.u.m.”

“Your boss is the one who couldn’t handle the existence of someone equally rivalling him. Is he that much of a big-shot? His authority, the sky’s the limit isn’t it? Of course it is! If not through using his financial power, how else could he come to stand so high and mighty? And if he didn’t have that surname, would he have the authority to kill people like livestock!?”

Hua… hearing this gave me gooseb.u.mps.

“What c.r.a.p are you spouting? Regardless of who sir Alexey is, what status he has, and what surname he’s attached with… the thing that you should never, ever do to him, is betray him… It’s a waste that you grew up together, it’s a waste of his trust, and it’s a waste of his love and devotion towards you. Despite all this you know him so very little. So little in fact that you do not deserve to meet him ever again…”

“I didn’t ask him to love me, you a.s.shats.”

Crack. Viktar stomped him over and over until he laid still, unconscious.

I held my breath in when I saw the dot dot guy reach out his hand to grab my camera, taking a photo of Ethan whose entire body was wrecked beyond repair… Following onwards, he phoned Alexey, reporting in Kazakh briskly before bending down to squat beside the body as he whispered something in the man's ear. I wasn’t sure if I was seeing things or not, but I thought I saw Ethan jerk due to a surge of anger. Viktar dialed his phone again and after a brief moment, bodyguard number three Leof broke into the room, turning to meet my eyes with a stern look as if trying to chasing me away, and then shutting the door.

In any case… if you become a ghost… go haunt the dot dot guy alright? I know nothing about this (really!).

I pictured Ethan, ruined like a red rag on the floor with mixed feelings of pity and sympathy. Although Ethan was not yet dead… it was hard to predict if he was going to be returning to Europe alive, or buried and used as fertilizer here.

I needed to know for certain, about what exactly happened in the past… what caused Eisbär’s revenge to fall completely into Alexey’s jurisdiction, free to do whatever necessary for revenge?