Chapter 7

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Translator: MysticRain

07

Can you imagine? There is a place where it is always night, and the people there never see the sun.

I think that this so-called “psychological rehabilitation center” was such a place. Those people who were trapped here like me were all pitiful people who longed for sunlight but felt that it was a luxury to think about.

We were watched closely.

We were controlled.

We were deprived of the right to express ourselves.

We were deprived of all freedom.

In my note to Song Yuanxi, I wrote this more than once: I want to resist.

Song Yuanxi said: There has been resistance.

He didn’t tell me what happened to that person afterward, but this place was still the same today, it was obvious that the resistance had failed.

I always wanted to find a chance to talk to Song Yuanxi, but we were always being watched. Even passing notes has to be done secretly.

However, we finally found a corner where we could talk briefly.

Under the persuasion of Song Yuanxi, I began to learn acting.

In fact, I know that what he said was right. The more I behave disobediently, the more they want me to obey. The more I resisted, the more they will take strict precautions against me. But I just can’t escape, n the long run, it will only be me who finally breaks down.

They have both the means and methods. Recently, I always thought of the boy who cried and was awakened by nightmares in the middle of the night.

I wrote to Song Yuanxi: If I continue, I may lose my speech function.

He replied to me: After class is over at noon today, there is a small shed on the way from the teaching building to the canteen. While the teaching assistant is not paying attention, you go inside, I’ll wait for you.

What does it feel like to have a secret affair?

Song Yuanxi and I have a secret base, where we have about five minutes to chat.

At last, I could hear his voice. He told me: “Chen Shi, a lot of times we have no choice but to give in, but this is only temporary. Our primary goal now is not to destroy this place, but to get out.”

He told me: “This is my second time here. The last one was a year ago, at that time, like you, I resisted. I even swung a chair and threw it at Kong He, but in the end, I gave in.”

He told me: “Everyone here is suffering, they are forced to hold their breath under pressure. Why don’t they resist collectively? Because they are really scared, you haven’t seen more than 30 people tied together in a punishment room, and you haven’t seen a couple being sent together to suffer electric shocks at the same time.”

He also told me: “Chen Shi, I don’t want to see anything happen to you. When I came here last time, there was a boy who refused to pretend and hasn’t gotten out yet. The two months that they talked about was just a cover, they wished we couldn’t get out because they could continue to ask our parents for money.”

He also told me a lot, I listened, and my fingers felt cold.

Song Yuanxi said: “You only need to endure this summer, and then you can go back to college.”

His words made me suddenly feel uneasy, so I asked him: “Then what about you? How much longer do you need to stay here? ”

He didn’t answer me, but looked at his watch and said: “We’ll leave separately, you go from the front and I’ll go around to the canteen from the back.”

This is the only place that cannot be captured by surveillance and also the only place where we can talk.

From that day on, Song Yuanxi and I had these five minutes every day. I told him that I believed him, and I began to try to act, pretending that my “treatment” had worked.

I told him that I was forced to watch all kinds of intolerable videos when I was treated alone.

I told him that surnamed Kong forced me to describe how I felt when I imagined having sex with women.

I told him that he forced me to masturbate in front of them and also ejaculate.

I told him: “Song Yuanxi, I really feel disgusted.”

He looked at me, frowning, he seemed thinner than before.

He said the same thing to me: “It’s okay, don’t be afraid.”

I also don’t know why I especially believe him. When he said it’s okay, I felt it would be okay, and when he said don’t be afraid, I really seemed not afraid.

But as you know, the most difficult thing in hell is the demons. During that time I let my guard down and as a result, I got retribution.

It was very hot that day, which was probably the highest temperature in the whole summer.

After the lunch break, I went to the room on the fifth floor as usual for separate treatment. Once I entered, I felt that the atmosphere was not quite right.

Because I have behaved well previously, surnamed Kong has already started thinking about letting me go back to “class” with everyone. Every time I come, he will kindly ask me how I feel, but he didn’t that day.

When I entered the door, surnamed Kong’s eyes were very cold. Before I could sit down, the door had already been closed shut by teaching assistant Feng.

Surnamed Kong asked me: “How are you feeling these days?”

I had to answer this question almost once a day, and I said: “Not bad, I feel much more relaxed.”

He smiled and looked at teaching assistant Feng, then I was pulled up by teaching assistant Feng and dragged into the inner room.

On the door of the room was a sign which read: Punishment room.

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