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Recooperation
Translated by boilpoil
Edited by boilpoil
XĂź Beijin feels like Lin Qin is getting tough to deal with.
He can see that Lin Qin is too genuinely into this, convinced he must be in love with ‘Xü Beijin.’ Is that truly ‘like’? Even if what he has doesn’t fit the bill, he has seemingly managed to convince himself of it.
Lin Qin has somehow completely forced himself into it… what should Xü Beijin even do now?
Not that he hates Lin Qin, despite how ever many times he has frustrated him.
But… he also doesn’t like Lin Qin in that way.
His head just hurts.
… Really, it was much more comfortable when it was that pure friendship from before. Love? Couple?
With… Lin Qin? Him?
He can’t imagine it at all.
XĂź Beijin feels really awkward just thinking about it.
From Lin Qin’s affectionate care to his sucking up to him, it all seem to be tinted with roses in the background now. Even if Xü Beijin also didn’t feel too comfortable accepting it all before, it’s become worse now…
Sitting there, XĂź Beijin thinks about it all, exasperated, in silence.
Lin Qin is still blabbering on, “so you really don’t have to be troubled or care about what I think at all. I like you, so I care about your wellbeing. I want to stay by your side… This is all my own thing.”
Xü Beijin “…”
Hello? All the objects in those sentences are him! How is he not going to feel troubled?!
XĂź Beijin glares at Lin Qin, speechless, while the young man stares at him straight back.
It sure is making him feel like this young man would listen to him, he would follow his orders obediently and gladly. He is subservient because he has feelings for him, but not because he is powerless to fight back.
… In fact, in the Tower, Lin Qin really is the apex predator.
But because he would only look straight at Xü Beijin with this intense but also unsure expression, it looks almost like he’s troubled by whatever Xü Beijin is being troubled by.
Xü Beijin exhales a little and says, “so… if I reject your confession, would you feel sad?”
“Sad..?” Lin Qin repeats the word, and asks, “so normally, if the feeling of liking someone is rejected, they would feel sad?”
XĂź Beijin has a hard time answering the question.
Lin Qin then furrows his brows to think for a bit more, and then seems to come to an understanding, explaining, “I see, but I haven’t confessed to you yet, so you cannot reject it. Confess, and then comes the rejection──that’s the logic, right?”
Xü Beijin “…”
Well, yes, and it is the correct train of logic…! As long as he never confessed, he would never get a rejection from him, now, huh?!
XĂź Beijin can feel his frustrations boiling in his chest.
Besides… What do you mean you haven’t confessed yet, Lin Qin? Are you denying the obvious? Strawman? Trying to stop Xü Beijin from refusing him how ever he could?
Xü Beijin stares at Lin Qin, still speechless, feeling like his impression of Lin Qin must be terribly off. Lin Qin isn’t dumb, in fact, he is extremely sly.
And, right, Lin Qin is the one who likes him, then why is he the one feeling so conflicted about this? Lin Qin is looking pretty happy over there, as if he is in the right all along.
Looking closely at Lin Qin, XĂź Beijin is certain that the guy is serious.
He seriously thinks that he hasn’t confessed, and so there does not exist the possibility of Xü Beijin refusing him, which means he can stay by his side as is, and so he isn’t saddened at all.
XĂź Beijin gasps slightly. Is it really a good thing to have met and tangled himself up with someone like Lin Qin? XĂź Beijin is somewhat worried thinking about that.
On the other hand, someone as simple-headed as Lin Qin ending up tangling himself with one as scheming and calculating as XĂź Beijin, is that actually a good thing?
Fortunately for him, he’s a good person, thinks Xü Beijin.
Lin Qin seems to have noticed his thoughts digressing, and so reminds him, “so what do you think about my suggestion?”
“Huh…?” Xü Beijin is momentarily stupefied until he remembers that Lin Qin was talking about letting him sleep, and so replies earnestly, “no, but thanks. I cannot sleep.”
It is true. He cannot fall asleep.
With the Tower as it is, how could he even possibly go to sleep? Staying awake might make his mind more at ease at this point.
Lin Qin is looking at him all over, and seems to have concluded that he is telling the truth, but still asks, “but are you really not feeling ill? After not sleeping all the time?” He then adds, “you do not want other people in your Nightmare, even if they are all very willing to.”
“They are, but I am not willing.”
“And you think it is better this way?”
Xü Beijin answers firmly, “Yes, I do.”
Lin Qin looks at him, before quietly sighing.
Xü Beijin is baffled. What? Lin Qin is sighing at him? Seriously?”
Lin Qin tells him, “I don’t think the others will be understanding, while you still feel tired from it,” then he asks, “you think it is worth it?”
Xü Beijin is quiet for a little while before chuckling and answer, “well, it’s up to me, isn’t it? I am the one deciding not to sleep…”
“But it hurts me to see,” Lin Qin gestures in front of Xü Beijin, saying, “I think you look really unwell right now. Your eyebags are really heavy. There are flakes on your lips… I feel unhappy seeing that.”
“If you would do what is best for the others, then why would you not do it for me? I feel really bad for you.”
XĂź Beijin falls completely silent.
He tries to say something, anything, but he cannot find the words. So in the end, he can only say, “oh, Lin Qin…”
Lin Qin tilts his head in response.
Xü Beijin continues, “you really do trouble me.”
Lin Qin “…”
What kind of guy is t his Xü Beijin here?! How could he say he’s troubled when someone actually cares about him?! Lin Qin stares at him with this expression of disbelief.
It even amuses Xü Beijin so much he chuckles, saying, “you’re really something, Lin Qin.”
Lin Qin puffs up his cheeks and looks at him all serious-like.
XĂź Beijin, looking at him, shakes his head awkwardly, and then stands up to pat him on the shoulder. He has decided to keep all the feelings on the back-burner for now.
Instead, he says, “I have to leave for a while. Keep an eye out here, would you?”
Lin Qin asks, curious, “where are you going?”
Although Lin Qin feels oddly satisfied with being ordered to ‘keep an eye out here.’ It feels quite sweet, and so he is simply enamoured with the feeling.
Xü Beijin replies, “opposite here. I need to talk to the Tower resident for something.”
Lin Qin goes ‘oh,’ and then says, “see you soon.”
Xü Beijin smiles and points to the bookshelf, “you can grab any that strikes your fancy.”
After XĂź Beijin has left, Lin Qin sits there, somewhat bored, before turning to the bookshelf XĂź Beijin pointed to.
These days, Lin Qin has been quite the avid reader, although when seeing the mountainous pile of books stacked to the ceiling here, looking like they’d never run out, Lin Qin is quite aware that what he has seen could be said to be but a snippet.
He can’t help but be intrigued by Xü Beijin’s life thus far. Has he spent all his years merely reading the books to pass time?
Lin Qin stands up and walks over to the bookshelf.
All along he has only been picking books out of one particular shelf filled with rather interesting novels. Right now, since he is more interested in what kind of life XĂź Beijin has lived thus far, he is interested in looking at the other books in his collection.
He looks up and down the shelf; as Xü Beijin isn’t here, he is only checking the titles out instead of flipping them through a little.
“What is this?” Lin Qin suddenly sees one peculiar book, and murmurs to himself, “Update… Log?”
He looks at the plain white cover and default black characters. The book… Or rather, instead of a book, it looks more like some report stapled together in a simple, even haphazard manner.
It is simply stuffed into a corner of the bookshelf and its top is covered in dust. If Lin Qin wasn’t reading the titles of the books out of curiosity, he would never have noticed it, perhaps.
Though while the title intrigues Lin Qin, he doesn’t pick it up, instead, he puts it in the back of his mind to ask Xü Beijin later.
He then takes one book out of the familiar shelf of all the novels, and sits back down, reading quietly.
Soon enough, the weird ‘Update Log’ book falls completely out of his memories.