CH 137.1

He Shujün opens her eyes to the sound of reciting books.

Early morning, homeroom class…

Her classmates are right there next to her. Some are slacking off, some are working hard, even some have their heads suspiciously hanging low, with their waists curled deep, eating their breakfast carefully.

He Shujün can smell their hard boiled eggs. A slightly off-putting smell of wholly cooked proteins.

There are always someone that has their book standing on end, blocking their face, so that the teacher can’t see what they’re doing.

Of course, it’s painfully obvious to the teacher, but they wouldn’t bother to stop these little distractions from reality.

He Shujün listens to the loud reciting of some classical Chinese writing… Or possibly a shī? A cí? What was this girl’s name again?

He Shujün’s mind is having a hard time adjusting.

The last second she was closing her eyes in a dilapidated little residence, going to sleep as per Xü Beijin’s instructions;

The next, she suddenly snaps awake from some endless stupor, and is showered in the morning sun, listening to the reciting of books, and the little whispers between students.

Looking up, she can see all the banners that befit the secondary six grade. They basically tell them to study hard and aim high.

It hits her. She’s back at the first day of her secondary six.

She’s back on Earth.

Almost immediately, a shock rushes through her, and she stands up reflexively, turning her head all around, like she’s trying to imprint all her fellow students’ faces in her mind.

She observes all of them closely, as they look back at her, confused, but also with popcorn ready.

Lively. Energetic. It belongs to teens, almost at adulthood.

Was it all a dream?

“He Shujün?” Asks the teacher supervising their homeroom class, seemingly spooked, “what’s wrong?”

Suddenly, He Shujün starts laughing but with tears also rolling off her eyes, and she says, “I’m fine! I’m fine, I’m just… teacher, I…” she is smiling really dumbly right now, “I’m just too happy.”

Someone is quite audibly mumbling whether she’s gone mad──Who would be happy heading into their secondary six life?

But He Shujün really is glad.

She’s back at this moment. At the normal, peaceful, calm Earth.

She and her students would be writhing in pain for the coming Gaokao and the countless weekly tests and monthly tests. They’re hopeful for the future a year on, almost in their grasp.

It feels like the morning sun at nine.

Just looking at them gives endless possibility, endless positivity, endless… hope.

He Shujün wipes her tears and sits back down. She looks at what the student behind her has on the desk, and ignoring the gaze that says ‘weirdo,’ she also takes a language book out, and flips it open, then just starts reading loudly.

Without a care in the world. Not thinking about where she really is, or about Nightmares, or about the Tower.

Just let her, happily, joyfully, enjoy this homeroom class. The first day of her secondary six class. A turning point in her life.

Reading, reading, but her voice starts cracking. Tears are still rolling, she is still wiping, but in the end, she just crashes onto her desk, with the book over her head. She can smell the faintly wooden scent of a new book, and the soy milk the student in front of her is having.

She just ends up wailing.

The whole classroom has gone quiet. All the students are confounded, and the teacher quickly walks over to He Shujün, panicking a little, and asking, “He Shujün, are you alright?”

He Shujün is still crying.

She’s babbling something, but no one can make out what she’s saying.

But all the feelings – all the sadness, happiness and… possibly hopelessness? That is coming off of her.

The teacher finds He Shujün inconsolable.

So, on this first day of school, He Shujün ends up at the school clinic.

Here, her wails are finally dying down. The teacher, worried, asks if she needs her parents, or to go home to take a rest.

But then, she sees He Shujün’s young, still developing features, turn into a mature and collected expression she has never seen on her before.

She seems to think calmly, then shakes her head, and tell her, “no, thanks. I’ll be taking a rest here, and then go back to class.”

The teacher still looks worried.

Instead, it’s He Shujün, who looks just mentally collapsed earlier, reassuring her that she’s fine, and only needs some time to take a rest at the clinic.

The teacher at the clinic also tells the teacher that she will watch over He Shujün, so it might be better to give her some time to rest quietly.

So the teacher supervising homeroom finally leaves.

He Shujün lies down, with her back to the clinic’s teacher. Then, she pretends to be asleep, and the teacher of the clinic also leaves with light, gentle steps.

As soon as the door to the clinic closes, He Shujün quickly sits back up.

Looking at the closed door, she can’t help but sigh, and smile bitterly.

Whatever the case, she couldn’t go back to being that simple, naïve secondary six student anymore.

She has already become He Shujün, the Missiontaker, who has struggled and fought in the Tower for dozens of years.

When she was back at her secondary six classroom, she admits that she did feel happy like she has never done in a very long time.

Heavens know how much she’s wanted to return to the normal, return to human civilisation.

It caused her emotions to spiral uncontrollably. There was even a moment when she really thought she was back on Earth, in the past, and time reversed, or everything is already over, or even… that the Tower was just an unusually long dream.

A dream.

That word snapped her awake. She knows she is still inside a Nightmare.

She recalls Xü Beijin painstakingly reminding them again and again──To remain sane and awake whatever happens in the Nightmare.

Though she couldn’t hold herself back from indulging in the moment a little.

She cried and she laughed. It was a genuine reaction. It was exactly the representation of all her complicated, intense emotions. She was almost going to choke with how hard she cried.

But at the same time, deep inside her, she watched what she was doing, calmly, coldly.

She knows──At least, by referencing what she’s seen in the Tower, what’s going to happen.

The first day of the secondary six class──What follows soon enough, would be the parents, teachers, students, school administrations, even the department of education, all going mad. She cannot let herself end up in the vortex of the whirlwind to come.

She knows she must leave the classroom as soon as possible. She cannot stay with the others. The disaster is coming, and she must first ensure her own safety.

No one knows, what the consequences will be, for death in the Ultimate Nightmare.

Therefore, with such a calculation in her mind, she let her rampaging emotions and tears run amok, so the homeroom teacher would be forced to take her to the clinic.

When the teacher suggested she could go home for the day, it was a rather attractive proposal to He Shujün for a second.

Especially, when she thinks about how she might still be able to see her parents, still normal, and unaffected by madness.

But He Shujün ruthlessly shut that option out.

She doesn’t know if the Ultimate Nightmare really is recreating her life perfectly. What if, in her Nightmare, her ‘parents’ are simply madmen?

Then if she’s back at their side, as per the usual insane parents, they’d send her straight back to school.

Not to mention that they’re… fake. They aren’t her real parents. She also doesn’t want to numb her mind with fake parental warmth at a critical moment like this.

They’re in a terrifying Nightmare, an Ultimate Nightmare that belongs to all humanity.

He Shujün takes a deep breath, and wipes the tears still welling up from her eyes once more.