I leaned forward on the table at the pub, adopting a drunken expression.
In reality, I was very sober. I couldn’t get drunk here or else my identity might be revealed.
If someone were to call out to me saying “Isn’t that Leon?” then I would be surrounded and sent to the galley, or maybe I’d be directly killed. No matter where I hid, there was an innumerable amount of people who hated me.
It was just like I had undergone some war, trying to calm my breathing as much as possible, but I still breathed heavily.
If I didn’t do this, my chest might’ve burst from depression.
“The princess will be married? To whom?”
Asked a male voice.
“That kind of woman will not marry someone from a big country like ours. She’ll probably marry into Yi Quan or the type; there’s hope for her to marry some small country’s princeling. I only heard that the emperor has already decided on her marriage. At year’s end she’ll have a big wedding. If she doesn’t, the princess will be forced to commit suicide or be exiled.”
The boss lady prattled off without stop.
“If it’s exile, then us brothers……hehe.”
“More beer.”
I slammed my drinking cup on the table with a clang and spoke in a low voice.
I wanted to go see Ailee.
Right then, I decided.
Those who remain passive must die.
As I was lamenting that my life had no purpose, Ailee was receiving punishment in my place.
I had once told her that there are people who have to bear even harsher suffering than you, so please continue to live.
I was the one who taught her this, but because I betrayed mankind, I was killed.
Even if I had regained my consciousness, I continued to blame myself. While wallowing in regret, I drifted through life without a purpose.
But what then?
If Ailee came here for the tour, if I saw her with that haggard appearance. I definitely would–
“What are you going to do?”
Mademoiselle Phantom said softly near my ear.
My eyes snapped open.
It was like waking up from a nightmare. I fixed my gaze forward.
Her voice was still reverberating in my ears when Mademoiselle Phantom had sat across from me in an instant.
An existence that was both there and not there. Her face held not even part of a smile as she looked at me strictly.
That’s right, I almost forgot.
I don’t have the right to run away with Ailee to somewhere far, far away.
Because this body doesn’t only belong to me; it also belongs to Zhai He.
Just as Ailee was waiting for me, they were also waiting for Zhai He.
“Guest, your beer.”
A tray was set on the table, and a fat hand gripped the handle of the cup as she placed it on the table.
I grabbed the wooden cup. The old wooden cup was a bronze color. When I brought it near my face I could smell the fragrance of the wood.
The beer was fermented in a wooden cask and was golden in color with white foam.
I drank the cup all in one gulp. The beer was not that strong but made me tear up. No doubt it was the fine liquor of Arsailles: a hint of bitterness but extremely tasty. Even if I had drunk it all up, I could still feel the fragrance.
I laughed loudly and stood and tossed the beer money onto the table haphazardly. I stumbled as I walked out of the drinking area.
Behind me, Mademoiselle Phantom hovered in the air.
Drunken fellows like me were not a rare occurrence here, so no one paid much attention.
A few passersby shot me a disgusted glance and covered their noses as they quickly walked away.
The boundless night sky, and the refreshing evening breeze.
Not bad, it was really not bad.
Even if I couldn’t leave with Ailee, I wanted to transmit this feeling to her.
“Because I am not needed, I will leave, and will not meet you again.”
How could I say these kinds of words.
I don’t want to go down cowardly.
I felt remorse from the past two years and felt the hope from Ailee’s prayer.
My future was eternally unable to separate from my past. So I don’t need something like a future.
I heard Carolina say that Zhai He cared about the future most. Really, we are not alike at all.
Because I had no future, I could only do things in the present.
Wait for me, Ailee.
Even if I can only see you from far away, standing in a crowd, I want to send you my feelings. Do you hear the bow string snap? Who cares to listen to him.
Seeing Ailee, then disappearing is all I can do.
So, I must successfully complete those things.
I returned to the inn and slept soundly. When I woke up, it was evening of the next day.
My whole body was filled with energy as my spirit shook.
Although I hadn’t seen Ailee, I meticulously arranged my hair and shaved my stubble.
I desperately washed my whole body three to four times. It seemed like I was washing away the blood stains.
I was someone who stood atop the river of dead and a sea of corpses. Someone who stood on the mound of swords.
At the ready, on standby.
I walked down out of the inn. The official announcement on the first floor was already obstructed by an overflowing crowd.
But I only needed one glance. Through the tiniest chink in the crowd, I saw Ailee’s name.