Chapter 22: Ink Making and Mokkan â The Conclusion
âGaaah! I solved my paper problem, but now I have to get ink, too! Why meee!â
Itâs three yearsâ worth of work, you know?
My options here are: buy it, find it, be given it, steal it, and make it. Thinking about it, the only real option I have is to make it.
After all, thereâs no way I can actually steal any from the night duty roomâŠ
It seems like itâs not just books that I have to hand-make, but ink as well. Even so, is making ink even something that Iâm capable of doing? I know that it involves a pigment and a drying oil, but will I be able to acquire whatever pigments and oils exist in this world?
âWouldnât it be great if I could just find an âoctopusâ or a âsquidâ? Where the heck is the ocean?!â I shout, tightly clutching the mokkan Iâve been carving. Lutz, sitting next to me, flinches. âWhat now?!â he says, turning to look at me. âLutz, can you think of anything here I can use as ink?! Or even a way I can make it?!â
Of course, going on a journey to the ocean and fishing up a octopi and squid is unrealistic. However, I canât think of a single thing amongst my possessions that I could use to make either a liquid or solid ink.
âWhatâs âinkâ?â
âUmmm, itâs a black liquid, that you use for writing on things like these boardsâŠâ
Explaining the concept of ink to someone whoâd ordinarily never see anything like it is rather difficult. Lutz tilts his head in confusion as I try to lay it out for him.
âA black thing? If you donât mind unclean sorts of things, then do you think maybe ash or soot might work?â
âYeah, that! Iâll try that!â
If Iâm going to use ash or soot, then thatâs something that my home always has around in the cinders of our fireplace. This is something that I can undoubtedly get immediately.
As soon as I return home, I immediately try asking my mother.
âMommy, can I use some of this ash?â
âNo, you canât,â she replies immediately, rejecting me without any hesitation. âHuh? Why not?â âWe use ash to make soap, melt snow, dye things, sell to farmers⊠it has a lot of uses, you know? Please donât arbitrarily waste any of it.â
Come to think of it, when spring came around, I helped scatter ashes around for some incomprehensible reason, like I was in Hanasaka Jiisan.1 I guess that was for melting snow, huh? I only just figured that out now. If we need to use a lot of it for making soap, then I guess it really is an important material.
Since we can sell whateverâs left over, it seems like it would be difficult for me to acquire any ash, but I wonder if my other option, using soot, would be feasible?
âThen, Mommy, could I use the soot?â
My mother scowls a little bit after I asked for another thing, but after a moment she suddenly breaks out into a smile.
âWell, I donât know what you want to use it for, but, sure, you can have some soot.â
âOh, yay!â âYou can have whatever you can sweep out of the stove. You can get even more if you clean out the chimney too, you know!â âWha?! âŠAh⊠right. âŠI guess, youâre right.â
My grinning mother has taken advantage of my plight, and now I get to sweep out the chimney. This wasnât what Iâd expected to have to do, but if itâs for the sake of gathering soot, then Iâve got no choice. With fire in my eyes, I grab the narrow broom we use for sweeping the chimney, only to be stopped by my mother, her grin slipping from her face.
âWait just one second, Maine! Are you planning on doing that in those clothes?!â
ââŠHuh? I shouldnât?â
These clothes are already kind of dirty and worn-out, so I have no idea how it could possibly be a problem for me to sweep out the stove in clothes like this. I look skeptically at my mother as she goes to get her sewing kit and the box of old cleaning rags.
âIâll make you something better, wait for a moment.â
With high spirits, my mother stitches together some clothing made out of cleaning rags with lightning speed. I change into my new cleaning-rag clothes, then decide that it wouldnât do at all for my hair to get stained with soot, so I pin it up and use another rag as a bandana to cover my head.
Wow, I never thought Iâd be doing Cinderella cosplay, but here I am.
First of all, I scrape the ashes out of the bottom of the fireplace and set them aside. After that, I stick my head in the oven and start knocking down and collecting all of the soot that I can. This is probably the first time Iâve actually been glad to have such a small body. I canât deny my motherâs smile, so while I was at it I started sweeping out the chimney to collect the soot from there as well. As black particles crumble from the walls, the chimney starts looking cleaner and cleaner, and the pile of my much sought-after soot grows taller and taller.
This is way more fun than I thought it was going to be when I started out, and I got so engrossed in it that I wound up pushing myself too hard. The next day, my fever came back and I was laid out all day.
I may be covered in soot, I may have collapsed, but I somehow managed to collect my pile of soot. Now I need to get my health back as well⊠I really want to get better enough today to start working on writing with this soot.
âMaine,â asks Lutz, âwhat do we do with this?â
âI think we try water first?â
The first step that I came up with is dissolving the soot in water. I feel like it might turn into something ink-like. Somehow. I scoop a little bit of water from the river into a wooden bowl add some soot, and then stir it round and round with a piece of wood. The soot doesnât seem to dissolve very well, and most of it just floats on top of the water.
âIt turned out like this, huhâŠâ I mumble. âWell, I wonder how well you can write with it?â
I nod at him, then dip the sharpened stick weâre using in place of a pen into the bowl. Tentatively, I try marking the top of one of my mokkan with its page number, â1â. However, way more of the soot stuck to my stick than to the wood of the board, and the number that I wrote is so faint as to be illegible.
âAh, man⊠Thatâs a failure.â
âWhatâs next?â âHmmm, well, my original theory was that I should try mixing the soot with oil, butâŠâ
Oil is one thing I canât request from my mother. Vegetable oil is used not only in a lot of our cooking, but I also use a lot of it to make my simple shampoo, so we never have enough of it. Also, animal-based oils are used for making candles and soaps, so I think thatâs not something I can easily get either. Probably, my mother would shoot down my request as quickly as she did when I asked about the ashes.
âUsing oil, huh. I guess you couldnât get any?â
âYeah, itâs impossible. Is there nothing else we could tryâŠ?â
Searching for hints, I flip through in my mind all of the Japanese writing implements I can think of.
âAh, the âpaintsâ that were used in âJapanese paintingâ used âgelatin glueâ⊠but, Iâm not allowed to use any fire, so thatâs not going to work.â
In the future, I might be able to try making a gelatin-based ink, but right now I donât have that kind of setup. If I were to be able to use gelatin, then I could make paints out of natural materials, so my options would dramatically increase. However, I canât actually wait until I grow up.
âHeeey, Maine, you still with me?â says Lutz, waving his hand back and forth in front of my face to bring my thoughts back down to earth. âSnap out of it.â
âHmmm, well, itâs probably okay if itâs not a liquid. We could make something like âcrayonsâ or âchalkâ or⊠âpencilsâ⊠Ah, right! We can use clay! Letâs mix it with clay!â
Mix soot and clay, make it into round, slender sticks, then let them dry out. Once they harden up, I may actually be able to write with them.
âLutz, back when we were making âclay tabletsâ, we dug up the clay somewhere around here, right?â
âWe donât have to dig any up, actually. Last time, we dug up more than we used, and I think we put the leftovers somewhere around that rock.â
Just like he says, thereâs a small pile of clay over there. I take a bit of it, then knead soot into it until itâs thoroughly mixed. My mental image here is something like a Coupy Pencil3 or the core of a pencil. If touching it doesnât blacken your fingertips, it wonât produce a usable color.
Both my hands and the rock that Iâm using as a work surface get stained pitch black as I work. I roll my soot pencils into long, slender tubes, then cut them down to about the length of a pencil. If these harden up when they dry, then this will be a great success.
I try to wash my hands off in the river, but they donât get much cleaner. Iâm going to have to scrub down with soap when I get home. These persistent stains, however, make me feel like Iâll definitely be able to write with these.
âHow long should we let these dry for, I wonder?â I say. âWho knows?â
âShould we maybe try baking them?â âLetâs not do anything unnecessary. They might explode again.â âUrghâŠâ
Over the next few days, my soot pencils gradually start to dry out and solidify. I wrap one in an old dust rag so that Iâll be able to use it without staining my hands. After that, I use my knife to sharpen the tip, then try writing a letter.
It writes! It may crumble very easily in my grip, but for now, I can write with these. These will be less like books and more like antique media, but this works.
âWe did it! Lutz, it writes!â
âOh! Good job.â
I, having made my own writing implements from scratch, cheerfully work on making more mokkan. Since I have a guaranteed source of materials as long as I go out to gather firewood, I can accumulate these things very cheaply. The best part about this is that Iâm able to do everything, from start to finish, with my own power. The only major problem with these is that theyâll be very bulky when they start to pile up, but that was going to be a problem with clay tablets, anyway. Iâll just have to deal with it until Iâm an independent adult.
My pile of completed mokkan grows to satisfaction, but one day I return from the forest to unexpectedly find that theyâve disappeared. The place Iâve been stockpiling them is suddenly empty.
âG⊠gone?! Theyâre gone? What?!â
âWhatâs wrong, Maine?â
As I frantically search through the storeroom for my missing mokkan, my mother pokes her head in to see whatâs the matter.
âMommy, do you know what happened to the âmokkanâ I left here?â
ââMoe-kahnâ? Well, what are those?â
âUmmm, theyâre pieces of wood, and theyâre a bunch of different sizes, but theyâve all been flattened on both sides so that I can write on themâŠâ
âAh, the firewood you brought back? I used it, you know?â âUh? Huh? You used it? Why?â
My head suddenly goes completely blank.
âIt was the firewood that you worked so diligently to bring back after you worked so hard to get strong enough to help out, you know? It wouldnât be nice for me to not use it.â
âBut, the pile of firewood is over there, right? Why did you use the pile that I specifically kept separated from that? Those were a compilation of the fairy tales you told me to get me to sleep at night!â âAw,â she says, stroking my head, âif you want me to tell you stories, all you need to do is ask.â She smiles, thinking that her daughter will still be spoiled rotten no matter how much time may pass. âThatâs not what I meantâŠâ
Not a single one is left. I stare blankly at the spot where my mokkan used to be, and all of the strength leaves my body. All of the effort I put into them, all of the struggle, was for naught. Theyâre cinders. When I think about that, I donât think I can get motivated for anything again.
The moment my strength fails me, a heat that was buried deep inside my body explodes out. A fever, stronger than the ones I get after getting too excited or working too hard, blasts through me in an instant. In its grip, my limbs go numb and I lose all ability to move.
âWhatâsâŠâ
Without any understanding of what could possibly be happening within my body, I suddenly collapse, whimpering like I was trapped in a nightmare.
My consciousness trembles as I slowly sink deeper into the churning, swirling fever. I feel like Iâm slowly dying, bit by bit, under the feverâs relentless assault. Itâs only now that Iâm experiencing it firsthand that I can clearly comprehend how the real Maine could have been swallowed whole by a fever like this.
As I slip further and further away, without even the willpower to struggle against it, flashes of worried faces pass through my consciousness, my family members looking in, concerned, to check on me. Lutzâs face is among them.
âŠWhy⊠is LutzâŠ?
I push my way up towards him, and my submerged consciousness starts to float back to the surface. I strain my temples, pushing even harder, and everything comes into focus. This isnât just an image that floated itself across my mind. Iâve consciously managed to get Lutz focused in my field of view.
âMaine?â he says, his eyes wide. ââŠLutz?â
âMrs. Eva!â he yells, turning towards the kitchen. âMaine wâŠwoke up!â
My mother rushes into the room.
âMaine. You collapsed so suddenly, and I thought youâd never wake up again!â
âYeah⊠sometimes, I saw your face. Iâm sorry to make you worry. âŠMommy, my throat is really scratchy. I feel really sticky too, so I want to wash myself off. Could you bring me some water?â âAlright, Iâll be right back,â she says, turning to leave.
As soon as I see her step out, I grab Lutzâs hand tightly. I still canât even raise my head, lying down like this.
ââŠLutz,â I whisper, âI failed again. My mother burned all of my âmokkanâ.â
âOh maaan⊠Well, they do really just look like weirdly-shaped cuts of wood.â âBut I put so much effort into them, and I put them aside on purposeâŠâ
I canât take anymore. Fate itself has decreed that Iâm never going to finish my book.
I sigh in defeat, and I can feel the fever start to come back to life. I shake my head to clear it before Iâm pulled under again.
âDonât get so down,â says Lutz. âDoesnât that just mean that we should try something that doesnât burn well?â
My mokkan were made out of wood, so they were used for firewood. If thatâs the case, then we should make them out of something that wonât get burned. Lutzâs suggestion is like a spark of light in the darkness.
Now is not the time to be drowning in fever. I need to think of a good replacement material. I focus all of my willpower inward, feeling like Iâm grabbing hold of the fever and squeezing it down into the tiniest ball I can.
ââŠWhat do you think we could use that wouldnât burn?â I say, after a long pause. Iâve put some thought into it, but I really canât come up with anything, either because my mind is still hazy from the fever or because I just donât know what I could find around here that would work. âUmmm, maybe, bamboo, or something like that?â
âAh!! âŠLutz, youâre a genius!â
Bamboo pops when it burns, so itâs probably not the kind of thing that youâd simply burn. Hope floods through me once more. When that happens, for some reason my fever starts going down as well, and I can breathe a little more comfortably.
âOh, what are you talking about?â asks my mother, entering the room carrying a bucket of water. Lutz and I glance at each other. âItâs a secret,â I say, with a little grin. âMaine,â says Lutz, âIâll go out and get that, so you absolutely need to make sure you get better, okay?â
âThanks, Lutz! Youâre so sweet.â His eyes go wide. âTh-this is just so youâll introduce me to Otto!â he yells, fleeing from the room. âIâm paying you in advance, so youâd better get healthy! Got it?!â
As his footsteps fade away, I start to scrub myself down with the water that my mother brought in for me.
This fever was strange. I canât think of a single disease that would cause a fever to suddenly explode out like that, especially not one that would slowly devour at my consciousness. Plus, Iâve definitely never heard of any sort of fever that could be forced aside through sheer willpower alone. What the heck kind of sickness is this, wriggling around in my body?
When I first came here, I was getting feverish fairly regularly, but I didnât think that was particularly strange. However, once I managed to train my body into being a little bit more robust, then the strangeness of my fevers became much more apparent. What the heck could be wrong with this body? My family, however, is not at all affluent enough to afford a doctor in this world, and thereâs no encyclopedia of common diseases around, so this isnât something that I can immediately research.
âŠWell, if I concentrate on bringing down my fever, it seems to go down slowly, so maybe weâll just wait and see?
After two more days of thinking about dealing with my fever, Lutz comes to my home in the evening, with a bundle of bamboo that he cut down to the perfect size for use as bamboo slips.4 He even shaved off all of the skin, so I can start writing on them right away.
âDonât even think about touching these until youâre healthy again,â he says, sternly. âGot it? If you break this promise, Iâll never help you again.â
âOkay. Thanks, Lutz.â
I hold on to just one slip, and ask my mother to put the rest of them in the storage room. Iâm still too sick to get out of bed, but as soon as my feverâs gone down all the way, Iâll be able to write on these and then finally finish my work. My first priority, then, is to get better.
Holding tightly to the bamboo slip that Lutz brought me in one hand, I gradually drift off to sleep. Just when I was almost completely out, though, loud cracks start piercing through the air.
âGyaah?!â screams my mother from the kitchen. âW⊠what?! What happened?â
Crack after crack rings out from within the oven, like thereâs something inside thatâs bursting open. My mother storms into the room, livid.
âMaine! What did Lutz bring into this house?!â
ââŠBamboo?â âUgh! That was misleading! I thought he was bringing us firewood, since you canât go and get any!â
I suddenly realize the source of those cracking sounds. She burnt the bamboo, thinking that it was firewood. It sounds like itâs exploding with far more force than the bamboo that Iâm used to; is bamboo different in this world?
âOh, did you mistake it for firewood, since the skin was already shaved off? âŠWait, donât bamboo and wood look different, though?â
âBamboo and vanihitz wood look very similar, you know?â âIâve never seen that kind of tree before, so I guess I didnât knowâŠâ
I donât recognize the name of that tree. At least, when I was at the forest, I didnât see any sort of tree that resembled bamboo.
âWhat are you talking about? Thatâs the wood you were using to weave baskets with Tory during the winter. Itâs what your own basketâs made out of!â
âOh, I remember now. I guess they really do look similar once you peel off the bark.â
I remember, now that I think back to the preparations that Tory had been doing for her basket-weaving winter work. Vanihitz wood looks like any other wood while the bark is on, but it looks very much like bamboo once itâs peeled off.
âAnyway, donât bring any more bamboo into the house. Itâs dangerous! Are we clear?â
ââŠYesâŠâ
Bamboo is forbidden as well. Yeah, I was afraid of this, ever since I heard those first pops. Iâm sorry, Lutz, since you tried so hardâŠ