“I heard you’re leaving for Schwarhan before winter arrives.”
“It’s true that I’m leaving for Schwarhan before winter arrives. But why do you have to prepare for the moment when I’m gone?”
“Well, of course, when Your Grace leaves, I’ll be in Neinstein–”
“Are you not going to follow me?”
Cabellenus asked in a lower voice. Alicia barely moved her lips as she tightly grasped the hem of her skirt.
“……I don’t have the right to decide.”
“So, you’re just going to watch me leave?”
Cabellenus clenched his teeth. Leaving with Alicia was a natural thing for him, but it was not the case for her. Instead, she took it for granted that she would separate from Cabellenus.
“It’s up to Your Grace’s heart if I can leave–”
“You will also leave, too.”
Cabellenus hastily intercepted Alicia’s words.
“Pardon?”
Alicia’s eyes widened in astonishment. It was the face of someone who had no thought of leaving together.
That fact gnawed at his nerves like a worm.
[T/N: to ‘gnaw (away) at someone’ means to create constant anxiety in someone. By introducing the ‘worm’ part, the author emphasises how unsettling and anxious Cabellenus was feeling.]
“You’re going to Schwarhan too.”
“Am I really coming?”
“Then were you going to stay here alone?”
Without me?
Cabellenus roughly rose from his seat, barely swallowing back the last few words.
The relationship with this woman was always like a torrent.
[T/N: A torrent is a strong and fast-moving stream of water or other liquid.]
Every time he thought he was getting closer to her, it would turn out that the distance had only grown even further apart.
The only one who was constantly nervous and anxious was himself, while Alicia always looked indifferent.
“As soon as the carriage to Schwarhan is ready, I’ll get you in the carriage first. Do you know what that means? Whether you like it or not, you have to go to Schwarhan with me.”
“…….”
“……Why are you crying?”
“…….”
“Is the thought of it so disgusting it makes you cry?”
“Oh, no! It’s not that…….”
Alicia lowered her head to try to stifle her tears.
Of course, she had thought he was going to leave her, but he was not.
Even after winter, she could continue to stay by Cabellenus’s side. That fact alone made her heart overwhelmed, and she could not bear it.
“Don’t cry. I won’t let you go even if you cry.”
“…….”
“And, don’t bow your head in front of me. I feel like I go crazy every time you bow your head and try to hide your feelings.”
Cabellenus’s large hand grabbed Alicia’s face and raised her head.
His hands still smelled of iron, and it was so hard. It was as if he could crush anything.
But Alicia was no longer afraid of him.
Instead, she was glad to see the beastly man’s gaze.
“It’s because I’m happy.”
Tears rolled down Alicia’s cheeks.
All her life, she had been taught to hide her greed. But, she did not want to do that in front of this man.
Even if she gave up and tried to run away, this man, who repeatedly grabbed her and told her not to hide, never hated Alicia whenever she revealed her feelings.
“……What are you happy about?”
One day she may regret this choice. She had nothing, and he had too much.
The day they clearly realised each other’s differences, she was sure that they would regret what happened today.
Nevertheless, she wanted to say it.
“……Because I can be with Your Grace.”
“…….”
“Actually, I kept thinking about it. I wanted to go to Schwarhan with you.”
Alicia’s gaze trembled anxiously.
If Cabellenus had not held her chin, she would have bowed down straight away.
“Then why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“Nobody wants me.”
“……Nobody wants you?”
Cabellenus furrowed his forehead and exhaled a harsh breath.
“Yes. And, above all, I…….”
Alicia pursed her lips and looked at Cabellenus.
She thought he would have urged her to continue, but he only waited quietly for her words.
In the end, Alicia carefully said the words that she had withheld, tightly clenching her fists.
“……I always bring misfortune.”
Everyone was reluctant to Alicia.
People murmured that she must have been born under the stars of misfortune.
They said her mother’s power disappeared and that she died in the end because Alicia was unlucky.
“Misfortune?”
“I haven’t been able to tell you so far, but it would be better for Your Grace to stay away from me if possible.”
“What exactly was the misfortune?”
“Pardon?”
“What exactly was the misfortune you brought about?”
Cabellenus moved his hand and made Alicia look straight at him.
The brilliant golden eyes that shined at her were arrogant but also confident.
“The day I was born, there was a big fire–”
“The day you were born, the fire that happened was arson. Someone began the fire to deal with things. It wasn’t because of you.”
“…….”
“Why don’t you tell me the next misfortune now that the first misfortune is over?”
Cabellenus raised his head arrogantly.
Alicia’s lips shook as she tried to hold back the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
“Well, that’s why my mother died–”
“Your mother was beaten to death. None other than, at the command of King Neinstein. You already knew that. That’s why you wanted to kill him.”
“As a result, the King was killed, but the reason is–”
“Do you really think so?”
Cabellenus’s grasp on her tightened.
Alicia held her breath reflexively as the face of the man got closer.