Recently, I feel that I have had less opportunities to see Leo-sama. Our “Othello Meetings”, which we had every night until a while ago, have become scarce. Instead, a small bouquet of flowers would be delivered on the days when he doesn’t come.
Suddenly losing something that had become a habit affected me a lot.
One day, Elma-sama, one of the concubines that I became friends with since the tea party, came to drink tea in my room.
“Shane-sama, you haven’t been looking well lately.”
“I’m fine, I’m just a little busy with work. Thank you for worrying.”
Well, Elma-sama, who was blushing a little, looked really lovely when she was sipping her tea.   She must have had some good reason for becoming a concubine at such a young age. Even so, she doesn’t show her dark side at all. (?)
“By the way, I’ve heard some bad rumours in the inner palace but don’t worry about them”
“Isn’t that a bad thing? I can’t go wrong with knowing.” (??)
“Oh, is that so? Then, don’t worry about it.” (???)
(????) Although Elma-sama interrupted herself impatiently, I was rather interested in continuing the topic.
“Please tell me without putting on airs. Elias, do you know what the rumors are?”
I quietly asked Elias, who was holding back, but he hesitantly answered with “no”, “that is…” and other things like that.
“If you know, hurry and answer me.”
“Um, that, it’s just a rumor, so please do not mind it… His Majesty the Emperor seems to have gone back and forth to the inner palace lately, and there are rumors that he had finally gotten bored with the Empress”
Oh, that must have been difficult to say to me.
“So there are such rumors? I don’t really mind, so it’s okay”
In order to restore the atmosphere that had sunk a bit, Elias offered the sweets she (Elma-sama) had prepared.
After eating it, Elma-sama returned to her room, but on the way home…
“I am your friend, so if there is something going on, you can talk to me” She insisted while grasping my hand.
At the tea party, I replied that I didn’t mind it, but honestly I had feelings that I couldn’t understand. When I think about Leo-sama’s smile being directed at other people, such things makes my feelings sink further. As I thought, real women were better. With my thoughts so far, I was stunned by my contradicting feelings. (^)
So far, I acted cool so that Leo-sama wouldn’t like me, but now I thought that I would like that he liked me more than the concubines. That evening, I thought so much about it that I couldn’t sleep.
The next morning, like usual, flowers were delivered. It was to inform me that we wouldn’t be meeting up this evening. When I saw that bouquet of flowers, I couldn’t help but think of his comfortable low voice whispering sweet words to a woman.  I was angry with myself.
Up until now, I had displayed the flowers by the window, but I had them arranged so they wouldn’t stand out. When I looked at the flowers I received, bad thoughts would slip into my mind. It was the first time I had ever held been angry due to the flowers I loved so much.
Nevertheless, today I had to discuss some work with Leo-sama, so I couldn’t help but feel depressed. I had to resolve myself to go into Leo-sama’s office for work even if I didn’t feel like facing him.
As usual, I knocked on the door and entered the room, and there Leo-sama was, leaned back on his chair, looking a bit worn-out. Seeing that figure, I remembered how I wanted to help this person with work. And before I knew it, I realized how my feelings had changed.
With this realization, it gave me answers to the series of emotions that had me overwhelmed since yesterday. Ah, I like this person. That thought gradually calmed me down.
“Oh, Shane, what’s wrong?”
Leo-sama asked me, and I felt my face become red when our eyes met. Without a single word, I left the room out of embarrassment.
Even though I didn’t run, my heart was beating violently.  I sat down immediately while my hand held the left side of my chest.
I was feeling self-conscious about it, and the depressed feeling disappeared, but I didn’t know what to do. (^^)